Capítulo 26: Only Solace
"I told them before coming up here to talk. I wanted to get their blessing first before doing anything."
Alden watched Celeste's reaction with a hint of amusement.
He was almost tempted to snicker but refrained in the end.
He had a feeling that would go down very poorly indeed.
His lips twitched at the surprise and shock found in his lover's eyes.
Really, he didn't know why she was so astonished.
Alden wanted to do things properly.
That included making sure her parents were kept up to date and an integral part of the process.
He didn't want them to reject him, so he felt that being straightforward was the best answer.
It also showed Alistair and Elara he was absolutely serious about Celeste.
Alden's heart leapt recalling her acceptance.
He had been very afraid that he had sensed wrong, and that she viewed him as nothing more than a childhood friend… someone she was close to, but at the same time someone forever out of reach from her maiden heart.
It was the most vulnerable he had ever felt in his life.
Luckily for him, Celeste felt the same!
Alden felt an unparalleled sense of relief knowing their love was mutual.
"What did they say?!"
He snapped back into the present, hearing her anxious tone.
"They accepted, of course."
He couldn't help the small smirk that formed on his face.
Celeste hit him on the arm again, though with no real force.
She appeared relieved, and Alden's heart melted at her adorable expression.
His arms twitched, wanting to hold her close.
He resisted the maddening urge, knowing it would be near impossible to control himself once she was back in his arms.
He had barely managed to hold on to his last sliver of sanity after she kissed him on the cheek. There was no telling what would happen if he abandoned all reason and pounced on Celeste.
'Actually, it's probably better not to imagine that…'
Alden shook his head, banishing any such thoughts from his mind.
'Be empty. Gone are the filthy thoughts. Zen.'
He held on to those three phrases with his entire being.
After he felt like he had completely rid his body of such worldly desire, Alden gazed at Celeste.
She seemed to be in a daze, her eyes clouded over.
Based on the light flush of her cheeks and her wide smile, he surmised she was having a good daydream.
Alden laughed lightly internally.
Accompanying that mirth was a sharp pang in his chest, one that he quickly suppressed.
What he was about to do next was bound to be extremely painful for him and Celeste, and he almost wished he wasn't going to go through with it. Alas, Alden knew that as long as he stayed in the Sanctuary, he was like a sitting duck inviting Drakon to attack.
He would hate it if Celeste encountered danger because of him.
It was better he escaped when he had the chance.
This way, he could quietly build up his strength and better deal with whatever was thrown his way once he returned.
The only problem with this plan, though... was that he didn't know how long he would be gone.
His absence could range from a few weeks to a few months.
Alden simply did not know how the future would pan out.
What's worse, he was about to leave his childhood sweetheart alone right after declaring his love for her.
If that wasn't a scummy move, Alden didn't know what was.
Self-loathing and desperation clashed deep in his heart.
He almost drowned in their suffocating embrace, if not for Celeste who noticed something was wrong after breaking out of her daze.
"What's wrong, Al?"
"I-I…"
Alden gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.
His heart broke for what he was about to say next.
Celeste stared at him worriedly. He could feel her anxiety climbing by the second.
The young man took a deep breath.
"... I'm leaving the Sanctuary."
***
Celeste's mind froze.
So too did her expression and her whole body.
Time stood still.
Alden's last words echoed like a gong inside her head, and she quickly found herself being overwhelmed.
'W-What?'
Was the only thought she could formulate.
It was too much of a shock. To hear her childhood friend and pillar suddenly announce that he would be departing the Sanctuary right after declaring his love for her left her feeling numb.
Goosebumps erupted all over her figure as she shivered.
Time snapped back into motion.
Her breaths grew heavy, and her head spun.
Her heart thundered and Celeste feared it would leap out of her chest.
Maybe that was better than the reality unfolding before her eyes…
"W-When?"
She forced the words out, trying to keep calm.
"In less than an hour."
Her heart cracked.
"W-Why?"
She wanted to know what could make Alden leave so suddenly after confessing to her.
Was she… perhaps undesirable?
Did she get her hopes up for nothing?
"I'm… I'm afraid Drakon will target me if I stay, and I don't want him to use you to lure me out. I would hate it if you got hurt because of me. Hiding in the wilderness will allow me to accumulate strength slowly until I can come back and deal with him. I confessed to you because I didn't want to leave you again without making sure you knew how I felt. That way, if something happened to me, I could die without any regrets."
Celeste's lips quivered.
"What are you saying?! Do you hear yourself?"
Tears began to stream down her face as she raised her voice.
…This time, they weren't tears of joy.
Instead, they were tears of sorrow.
If before she was the happiest girl alive, right now she felt like she had entered the deepest, darkest pits of hell.
Celeste sensed her heart shatter in real time.
"You will not die! I will not allow that!"
She stubbornly resisted.
"And if you're so afraid of Drakon using me to get to you, we can deal with it together. As a team. Isn't that what love is? To deal with every obstacle life throws at us together! When a person stumbles, the other person is supposed to be there, by their side, to support them and help them back up. Why do you wish to deprive me of that?"
"Cece, I-I…"
Celeste hazily noted the tears pricking the corner of Alden's eyes.
However, in those captivating orbs, instead of finding hesitation, she only found a desperate resolve.
One… that could not be changed.
Her heart shattered further.
"I have to protect you. It is my duty. Both as your lover and as someone who cares very deeply about you."
His voice turned quiet.
"This... this is the only way I know how."
She gritted her teeth hearing his words.
"For Asteron's sake, Al! I'm not some weak, fragile thing that needs to be coddled or protected. I can fend for myself! And I just told you of a different way, one where we can stay together! Please… please, I beg you not to leave. I'll do anything!"
"Just don't… abandon me."
Her last words came out as a whisper.
Celeste's tears fell faster, mirroring the urgency she felt.
She stifled a sob.
"I'm sorry… I just can't. I can't…"
Alden's voice was thick with emotion.
She cried harder; the tears blurring her vision like a harrowing deluge.
"I can't consciously bring myself to put you in harm's way. The very thought of it is enough to send me into a panic. I know it's selfish, but I hope you can wait for me to return stronger than ever. I won't be long."
He said the last part with such desperation that Celeste almost believed him.
Almost.
For someone of Alden's rank, spending an extended time in the Wilderness was tantamount to suicide. And while she knew he was tenacious and would do everything in his power to come back to her alive… the mere fact that he felt the need to protect her over handling whatever was in their way together, crushed her heart.
Celeste shuddered, gasping for air.
Her world turned grey, losing all colour.
Without Alden, her existence held no meaning.
Without him… there was no joy.
No light.
No salvation…
Was she supposed to let him wander off alone and get himself killed?
That fool!
A deep, intense sadness permeated her heart.
Wiping her eyes, she stared at Alden, sparks of determination igniting in her emerald pupils.
"I'm coming with you."
She said firmly.
Alden slowly shook his head.
"I'm sorry. I can't let you do that."
Celeste's vision trembled as a new wave of fresh tears fell.
"Why?! Why do you have to be like this? Stop trying to shoulder everything alone! Learn to rely on others. Learn to rely on me!"
She pleaded.
Alden bit his lips.
He continued to bite until he drew blood.
Seeing that, Celeste knew whatever she attempted next would do nothing to sway him… at best, it would only delay the inevitable outcome.
Faced with that harsh reality, all she could do was lose consciousness and embrace the darkness rushing up to meet her.
Perhaps there...
She could find her only solace.
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