Capítulo 44: The sacrifice-part two
"Yeah, I was like- so you just used me as a washcloth for tears? and almost all my friendships have ended the same way; me asking the same question and them always answering the same thing: they just use me to let off steam and the next day it's like I don't exist.... it's all the same, and maybe that's why I'm bored, maybe that's why I'm seeing all these things (she scans the cave while contouring her body from one side to the other so the chain moves and she doesn't end up in pieces) what I see now... the guy with the mole told me that all this game is based on my psychology or so I understood him."
The blue-eyed fairy is fascinated with Luz's unique list of experiences because she has never met such a pathetic or overly dramatic human before. What pleases her most about Luz is that she hasn't given up yet and her kettle face is now drenched in sweat.
Sweat is something that lubricates every fairy's eye, and even more so if you add laughter or comedy to it. The zombie fairy thinks Luz can help the sister whose eye is closed. The only bad thing is that there is zero chance she can beat the green-eyed fairy? unless she helps her.
"Game eh?" the green eye fairy observes Luz and her sister, then she knows she must cut the affinity that is emerging between the two because the blue eye fairy is not a candidate to accompany the vampire "I guess your mom made you a lazy bum and your dad into a scheming girl didn't she?"
The green-eyed fairy pushes Luz straight into the flames but the blue-eyed one holds her by the arms.
"What are you doing? She must be falling by herself, don't you remember the..."
The one with the closed eye answers her and the other two are surprised because she doesn't hesitate at all.
"Now if you speak well... don't worry, I know that if I force her bad luck will follow us all the way, but if in a minute she doesn't burn we won't have proof and we won't be able to help the gentleman; so what do we care if one night she disobeyed her mother and, intoxicated by seeing almost all her companions kissing their respective flirts on duty, she started to provoke encounters with that boy in black leather. Of course, according to her scheming mind her mother and everyone else present would no doubt think those encounters were really accidental seeing her military expression as she brushed against the shoulder of that boy for whom she became a bootlicker.
It's as if she was telling everyone: "Hey, I have a bad face so I don't like to cross paths with this guy at all, it's up to the capricious destiny to bring us together every 5 minutes... the worst thing about deceiving oneself is that the lie is aware of its function in the mind.
What does it matter to her that these walls get narrower and narrower and if it happens we will not help the noble gentleman; we will be nothing more than three zombies, slaves of the dismal destiny".
Suddenly green lines like a small circle of grass appear inside the fairy's eye. In a matter of minutes the fairy is becoming more and more invisible, while a strange blue smoke emerges from her body that expands throughout the cavern; or rather, this blue smoke expands the space of the cavern to limits that outrage more rights of giants.
"The worst thing is not that the belly lies outside but inside."
The two fairies can't even look at each other in panic, they never believed that the most insensitive sister of all could sacrifice herself for the three of them and at the same time get them into more trouble with the supernatural laws.
It was one thing for one of the three to go out with the fake vampire to help the noble knight, and quite another for her to try to change the story of the game and have the three of them go out to fight for their survival. Of course, she won't be in the form of a zombie fairy anymore.... What kind of being will she be in the blue smoke universe?
They both watch her become part of the blue smoke amid harmoniously unpleasant sounds coming from Luz's womb.
In any case, what is certain is that neither of the two fairies knew that one of the three had to be like the canvas where the day I became the little voice of the false vampire was painted.
The two fairies are surprised to hear for the first time my voice so deep and sharp at the same time, impossible to describe for novice or sensitively insensitive ears... I better not beat around the bush, well... the point is that when they both hear my voice they get scared and the one holding Luz drops her into the fire.
The two fairies think that I am a product of the bad luck that their deceased sister has hovered over them thanks to her lack of patience and her particular ideal about what faith and destiny are... she was tired of leaving everything to destiny.
Why settle for being rescued if the rest of the fairies lying in the wombs of other mountains would suffer from being born as zombies?
The fairy guide's plan was that they would all be like her, without exception.
Everything I am telling you at this moment is what she is telling me from the universe of blue smoke. I cannot see her but I can hear her.
Even before I entered the blue smoke world, I suspected that she would not last long in my current narration.
Since I began to narrate this part of the story I heard and understood what the sounds in Luz's belly, since before she herself could hear them, were trying to communicate to me: DEATH.
No doubt the green-eyed fairy also heard it, she knew her fateful destiny; she knew that the test outside was only going to be a trap and that the fairy guide had already learned that she was the daughter who could read her mind.
Evidently the green-eyed fairy knew that the fairy guide was going to kill her first and then her other three sisters.
What would she care about losing one womb when she has many just like it?
Anyway, little by little the scenario of the cave was transformed to a scenario known to me and Luz; but it will not be exactly the same: the sports championship of two years ago.
The first activity of the championship is the dance and Luz's classroom was called La Diablada.
This dance has as its background the eternal struggle between good and evil.
That year the sports championship was held in a ruined castle where the ancient kings of the nation lived.
The school participated in the inter-school history contest to promote nationalism and won because Luz's brain was enlightened by angels and answered the last question.
Because, if we are serious, Luz is one of the girls who sleeps with her eyes open in history classes. However, when they talk to her about legends, myths or rites taken from authentic books as ancient as the cross where they say a man named Jesus died? Luz loves everything that can be real, but at the same time that no man can affirm with certainty that it is real.
Just that last question was about telling the myth of that colonial castle... everything is based on this dance:
The crumbling castle is identical to the Roman coliseum you and I know; around the arena are the various stands supporting the team of their own supernatural kind.
I must say that the ones I like the most are the goblins because they are jumping from one side to the other using the magic in their golden shoes. In the opposite tribune are the werewolves who with their spiky hair produce a melody similar to that of crickets and certain human musical instruments such as the harmonica or ukulele.
But undoubtedly those who deserve a separate mention are the pure shape-shifters, they are disguised as the different stars of the universe. I have no doubt that you will agree with me that they deserve to win a better tribune.
In truth, that fire in which Light burns is produced by them when they perform the synapse process necessary to fuse the properties of the stars with their own and thus create the same effect as those stars.
That fire is the ash of an amalgam that will unmistakably prevent the coldness and humanity of Light from being noticed in the sand.
All these beings no longer exist, neither does this championship; the further you go down into the mountain you will enter the oldest memories of it.
At this very moment the chain begins to move to the rhythm of an unpleasantly harmonious melody. At each movement a link, starting from the last one, explodes and the pieces go straight to the lips of the youngest and most sensitive representative of each tribune. Then, as if it were a kind of supernatural cigar, they smoke and blue smoke comes out.
This is the precise instant when the mountain's memory merges with Luz's to create something you might prematurely call: magical realism.
Then we have the protagonist who must find the patterns similar to her reality to find out how to overcome this first official obstacle of the game.
Through a melody two worlds blend; while the two fairies fly over the newly created memory to sing a welcome song with the recent melody composed in Luz's womb and with lyrics that summarize the message of the dance.
All the dancers come from the sky and others emerge from the sand; Light blossoms a second after the first link breaks and the pieces have already found the lips to welcome them.
The fire that surrounds it expands across the sky (what in the incubator was a ground below is a sky and will be so in all descents) like a frame of sparkling brilliance. Its luminosity with that of those in the rostrum of the shape-shifters is tenderly blinding.
Just imagine, the light of the stars of the universe together with the light of the understanding between the universe and these fantastic beings, internal and external empathy, intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence is what tries to illuminate, what tries to decipher each step of this dance in the sky.
One movement after another, as coordinated as if they had practiced before. When the only secret is that each one is watching a different scene.
The corps de ballet is split in half and so with each movement they go down, straight to the sand; but all of them do not lend passion to the dance because they are daydreaming.
What is Luz seeing?
Here they are all clad in armor made by the fire of the synapse process of the shape-shifters. On that championship day two years ago, Luz was dressed in cheerleading clothes because she had to stand out for her successful intervention in the contest that gave great prestige to the school.
Luz was sitting on the grass in the backyard, under a shady tree and imagining possible scenes in which her classmates would be left with their mouths open when they saw how pretty her mother had made her. Luz was waiting for her mother to return from accompanying her brother to the bathroom. Her sister was busy with her friends a few meters away from the tree.
She had heard them talking about how the skirt-shorts looked great on her and with the two pigtails she looked like a "sexy girl".
Luz felt for the first time so good about her appearance, not only because everyone had been whispering about her hidden beauty and others said she always had a pretty face; but because, just as that day her intention to meet Alexis had been evident it was also obvious that he was trying to run away from her; but Luz didn't think it was because of rejection or any negative feelings.
They have known each other since they were kids, Luz was sure he was insecure and confused because they had always been friends; but after that day it became evident to both of them that they were not just friends.
She was thinking of a way to escape her mother's overprotection to give him the opportunity to look for her.
But what for Luz was the best day of her life for others was the opposite. One of them was Margot who had long ago stopped being Luz's friend to form her own group of friends.
That day Margot had bigger pompoms than the rest of the girls and her clothes were composed of the same white short skirt and the red polo shirt with her name written in golden letters.
Although she looks as beautiful as the cheerleader captain she is, her head can only think of her problems and she sees in Luz's peace something she will never have.
This thought seems to be affirmed by the universe itself when a badly wounded bird flies towards Luz. It is as if everyone trusts her, her desire for sincere friendship; although everyone takes advantage of this need, there is no doubt that they wish they had the strength to express their true desires without the fear of risking having their hearts shattered.
At that moment, she is approached by the, for her, most detestable and useless inheritance left to her by her mother: a black cat.
It always seemed to Margot that this cat was the living reincarnation of her late mother. He looks so cunning, so unyielding, so graceful, gravelly and with an arrogance that is worse than her own.
Even dead she could never get rid of her mother because if she got rid of the cat she would lose her inheritance forever.
Her whole life would depend on her mother instead Luz would go to college, she can make an effort and get out of the poverty in which she lives. Margot, on the other hand, would never put up with eating the chicken's butt instead of the chicken's breast just because there is no money. But of course that is just an example because, unlike Luz, Margot is a vegetarian every day, without exception.
But back to the subject, Luz is about to take the pigeon in her hands until a black cat comes for its prey. She throws the pigeon back and asks it to fly away as if they were speaking the same language. And maybe Luz does have some power with words because the dove gains some strength to fly.
However, when Luz wants to go after the pigeon to protect it from the cat, Margot pulls her and confronts her.
"Miss Hermit is a good title for you, tell your damn cat to leave the pigeon alone..."
Luz elbows her in the abdomen and breaks away from Margot to go after the cat chasing the injured pigeon. However, Margot always brings some little things inside her purse like a dart that can paralyze certain motor nerves for a minute.
This is exactly what she throws at Luz, straight at the target: the heel.
Luz falls face first to the ground unable to believe that he ever believed that she was going to be his friend for life, that at some point Margot would open her heart forever and not just once in a while; only to despise her, humiliate her or pretend she was invisible.
The rain starts to fall and added to the mud on the grass I have no doubt that Luz is going to come down with a bad cold.
"You are a hypocrite, you eat chicken and fish; at least the cat does because it has no conscience."
Luz bites her lip to avoid crying or screaming, she just wants to find a sign that the pigeon has fallen in a place unreachable for the cat. It all reminds her quite a bit of the chick she rescued in the basement and for what?
In the end the father kept it as a pet until it grew big enough and killed it by snapping its neck with the sharpest knife he could find.
The worst thing about the whole situation was not the cold of the rain but the indifference with which she had been raised, indifference to any being other than herself...
"Yes, at least I struggle; although I struggle half-heartedly, I struggle because I have to pretend to believe because that's what all adolescence is supposed to be about, isn't it?
We have to believe that we will succeed in life to put up with the fucking shit that people like you do to people like me... at least I don't hurt another of my own kind, that's what we should learn from animals... your problem is that you don't believe but karma will make you believe..."
Margot, as usual, can only cry and get angry with Luz.
"What good is philosophy, imagination or your conscience to you?
Are you talking about karma?
If it exists, you must have something more terrible to pay than me, if you are so afraid to face life, to be aware of your sins and hide under your mother's skirts.
Of course, with a mother like yours, it would also be very easy for me to stop being so conscious and suffer for it, like you... it's so easy to be aware of what suits you... I'd rather be a real witch than a real hypocrite."
She was so right, Luz is afraid of all the dangers in this world; but if she thought about it, maybe she should start to fear the fact that she has such a need to daydream, even when she is alone in her room or when her mom is talking to her.... Luz has never really listened to anyone.
All her life she has always wanted to be a sexy girl, to be like the main characters of her favorite books, she has always had a bad feeling about herself... Why?
Maybe Luz is her own true darkness.
Perhaps a long time ago Luz sacrificed herself.
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