Capítulo 20: Part II, Chapter II - A Briefing
"Who's Leela?" asked my wife.
"I don't know" answered Sherlock "I don't know anybody named Leela"
"I can read body language, Sherlock, I know you're lying" I implied.
"Leela is probably just another idiot"
"For fuck's sake, Sherlock!" I snapped "Do you even stop to wonder why everybody says you're fictional as fuck?!"
"Because they're stupid!"
"Okay Mr. Know-it-all" said my wife "Answer this, do you know Irene Adler?"
Sherlock answered quickly "No, should I?"
"Yes you should!"
"Sherlock" interrupted I "Have you ever read, what you called, 'Reminiscences of John Watson' ?"
"Only The Sign of the Four"
"Then you did not read enough. Listen to me, you have forgotten who you really are, you being Sherlock Holmes is a defense mechanism for whatever abuses and trauma you have experienced. Come to my Library" I sighed.
Sherlock grabbed his overcoat and deerstalker to follow my wife and I. Jane held my shoulder and I held Emily's leash.
I grabbed The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and gave him time to read it, explaining to him that he just needed to read the first part- A Scandal in Belgravia. Jane and I let him read it on the sofa in our house. He was silent and focused. We only allowed him to smoke very little of his pipe.
"I do not recall this moment" he broke the silence. "Irene Adler? me having a love interest? Watson must have needed to stretch his story"
"No no" said I "Look at the name of the author on the cover"
"Sir. Arthur Conan Doyle. That can't be right"
"No, it's precise. He wrote your stories in the 19th Century. Google who he was!"
I passed to him my phone and heard the clicking noises of the virtual keyboard.
"He looks almost like Watson"
"Only because of the moustache, but that's not why I'm making you use Google"
"This isn't enough to convince me" the subtle crack in his voice proved that he was starting to realize something.
"William" called out my wife "Do you remember how we retrieved my memories to solve your sister's death?"
"Yes" I exclaimed "We went back to the first place you remembered being in. The furthest place your then-memory could remember"
"You're not suggesting- " interrupted Sherlock.
"Yes, yes I am! surely you must remember a certain place, a place where the first of your memory rested before forgetting whatever it is you forgot"
"London"
"Then we go to London!"
"I don't have money"
"Then we use mine, but you will owe me cash after this"
"Do we have enough money?" asked my wife. I grabbed my wallet and saw that it was empty, I had not received my cut. I took my phone back to look at the bank application and saw that I only had enough savings for food. I explained the situation.
"Then we shall steal" said sherlock
"What?" I asked
"We only have a week before Moriarty or, as he is to you, Cupcake, kills whoever this Leela is" Sherlock placed his fingertips together "If we were to wait for your money it will be too late, so we steal"
"And how long to get from here to England?"
"2 hours and 26 minutes. I counted the duration it took for me to get here from London, England. Speed is calculated from Distance over Time"
"Yes. Elementary, my dear Sherlock" teased I
"That's my line!"
"No shit, Sherlock"
"I don't think that level of math is taught in Elementary, but okay" said Jane "How do you suggest we steal money? Pickpocket?"
"Bank robbery" mentioned Sherlock, confidently "We rob the Vis Deg Frem Bank at midnight"
"Slow down, Mr. Robot" I interrupted "We should first check our supplies and make a plan. We don't even have the map of the bank"
"Here it is" Sherlock pulled out and unfolded a long bond paper from under his coat. It was a print of the map.
"Dude, what the fuck? How long has that been in there?"
"I predicted this situation correctly and snuck in the bank, took a photo of the map, including the one room holding the vault, and printed it"
"That's impressive. But when and how the fuck did you print it? You had no printer in your room"
"Internet cafe, my dear Animal Shelter. I had to explain that I was using it for inspiration. I also added made a thin layer that outlines the corners of the map, and braille on the names so your wife can feel and read it. Now let us gather around"
Sherlock briefed us for an hour as if he had done this before. Which added a missing jigsaw puzzle to who he was. Could he had been a criminal before dissociating?
Jane, because of her blindness, was to distract the security guards. It was still risky, but I believe in her. Sherlock was to modify the security monitors so it would show the footages of a few nights ago, and I got the biggest part, which was to open the vault and grab the money. The dog was to stay in the car. We took a few breaks and finished the briefing by 8:00pm.
"Now, wait here while I grab the equipment" ordered Sherlock. Walking out of my house. Jane continued to rub the braille on the map.
"Wanna bet?"
"Sure"
"If Sherlock gets arrested, we break him out and you take me to a nice lovely dinner"
"And?"
"If you get arrested, you give me half of your money"
"What?"
"No questions asked"
"Okay, and if you get arrested?"
"You get nothing"
"Wait, huh?" I gasped
"I'm just kidding of-fucking-course! If I get arrested, you yell 'I am gay' in your Library"
"And risk losing my job? DEAL!" I reached out to shake her hand unknowingly for almost a minute "I am shaking your hand too long"
I heard the door open and looked to see Sherlock holding a key. Behind him, outside, was a bright pink van.
"It was quick, yes. Whoah! am I interrupting something?"
"No" answered my wife
"We're shaking hands" I claimed
"I'm sure you are" said Sherlock "Heist now, romance later!"
"We're not married romantically!"
"Ah, I see, well, there is no time to 'Get it on' "
"We still think of each other as best friends!" yelled I
"How could you be married but continue to be friendzoned?"
Jane chuckled upon hearing Sherlock's sass.
"That's not what I-"
"Tut! tut! everything will be all right"
Sherlock took us to the van and explained how each item worked. He grabbed a tool box and explained each tool as he picked it up
"This is called a screwdriver"
"We know what that is" I implied.
"But do you know what it does?"
"It places and removes screws" explained my wife. Opening her palm for Sherlock to put. "Check it out" she said, twisting the screwdriver on my shoulder.
"What?" I asked, confused. It took me a second to get it. I laughed sarcastically and slowly "Oh, Screw me"
"We don't have time for this!" whispered Sherlock.
"You don't have to whisper" said my wife. The streets were not that crowded, the van sealed the noises within, and it was night time.
"Pray let us continue. This is a spatula, this one is a jar of peanut butter, a fork, and last but not least that is the backdoor of the van"
"So that's how it feels like" claimed I
"And, of course" Sherlock popped open a chest "Here we have earpieces, a small contact lense camera and everything we need, as you can see. So, ready to rob a bank?"
"All this shit just to find out the person you were"
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