Capítulo 1: Chapter 1: Rebirth
I fell asleep without realizing when, and when I opened my eyes again, it was already dark outside.
I don't know how long it's been since I started living like this.
Living a life where I wish I hadn't woken up while I am awake isn't a life I wanted to lead.
But what can I do? If you don't have the courage to die, you live a life where you're unable to die.
As I slowly got up, the alcohol I drank the previous night began to bubble up inside me, eager to face the outside world.
After getting out of bed, I took a sip of water and, holding my phone, dashed to the bathroom.
"What day is it today…"
The time displayed on my phone showed November 7, 2022.
It's my birthday. But there are no messages or calls on my phone.
It's something that happens every year, but it still feels lonely.
After handling things in the bathroom, I turned on YouTube on my phone.
Politics, entertainment, fishing, and other topics appeared, but I wasn't interested. I scrolled through the screen, and a video caught my eye.
[The Tragic Genius Film Director, Kyung Chan-hyun: 20 Things You Didn't Know]
"Ha…"
A sigh escaped me. Videos about other people often appear on YouTube.
Most of these videos deal with people who have done something shocking or had scandals, but I was taken aback to see my own name pop up unexpectedly.
With mixed feelings of anticipation and anxiety, I cautiously tapped on the video.
[Kyung Chan-hyun was born on September 7, 1975…]
"Is it wrong from the start?"
[Kyung Chan-hyun graduated from Korea University in 2001. His short films made during university were quite famous among film students even after a long time.]
I thought it was starting with praise like others usually do.
But I already knew the end of this video. It would start throwing criticisms about five minutes before it ended.
People probably clicked on this video to see that.
[Especially the graduation work <Blue Moon> was so exceptional that it's hard to believe it was made by a university student. But why did such a promising director disappear?]
"Ha…"
Hearing the name <Blue Moon> didn't bring nostalgia but rather a creeping irritation.
Unpleasant memories I'd rather forget surged up.
Just as I was about to light a cigarette in the bathroom and restart the video.
[Welcome to the jungle~ We got fun and games~]
The ringtone of 'Guns N' Roses' that shook the US in the '80s made me feel a momentary thrill. But the caller didn't even know it was my birthday.
Just a drinking buddy from the construction site.
"Where are you? Aren't you buying drinks today?"Ah, I'll be out soon."
Hurry up. Did you just wake up?
"Why?"
Your voice is hoarse.
"I'll be out soon, so wait. Go to the Samgyeopsal restaurant."
I ended the call and looked at myself in the mirror for a moment.
The reflection in the mirror showed a man who was aging faster than I'd imagined.
At 48, I looked nothing like I had envisioned in my 20s.
My dream was to be the most successful film director in Korea, no, in the world. But my life is completely different from that dream.
Why did life turn out like this? I know the answer, but just recalling that memory makes me grind my teeth.
In 2000, I completed my graduation project <Blue Moon> successfully.
People around me were excited about the appearance of a prodigy in the university, and critics expressed curiosity by writing short reviews about my film.
I was confident in my success as a film director and was looking for assistant director positions while writing scripts.
Then, through a senior, a production company contacted me.
They asked if I was interested in turning my short film into a feature film and directing it.
Typically, first-time filmmakers don't get such significant funding.
It was something only possible if you were a century's genius.
At that time, I thought of myself as a genius.
That was my downfall.
To put it simply, I was just a puppet.
Even though I shouted that this was impossible, no one listened to me. I heard sarcastic remarks like what could a young guy with no experience possibly know.
In the end, the film started to go off track and became a piece of trash that anyone could see. So I quit.
But the film's production didn't stop.
An actor stepped up to direct the film, and it continued to be made with him leading it.
Eventually, I heard that filming was completed.
A few days later, I received a call from the production company asking me to handle the final editing since I was the original director.
It was a very humiliating request. I would have never accepted it if it were up to me. But in the end, I accepted it.
Money.
The reason I had no choice but to return to that trashy film was solely that.
Since 1998, with the emergence of multiplex cinemas with more than five screens, the financial situation of my family's small cinema rapidly deteriorated.
It was manageable for about two years, but after that, it became a level where we were in debt while running a deficit.
In an attempt to help the family, I drank from the poisoned chalice.
The film was completed and released, with my name prominently displayed on the poster.
[Kyung Chan-hyun, the ambitious debut work of a new talent!]
Seeing that line made me feel a complex mix of emotions.
Even though it was trash, it was still my first work.
But the film quickly closed after its release.
For me, who threw away the megaphone, there was an untold behind-the-scenes story.
The film was actually planned and made solely for embezzlement by the investors and the production company.
And the reason they called me back at the end was to place all the blame on me.
As a result, right after the release, I disappeared from the Korean film industry. No, it's more accurate to say that people avoided me.
Even though the embezzlement was done by the investors and the production company, people found it unpleasant to associate me with them due to their media play.
Even when close friends tried to contact me, I had no choice but to avoid them.
I couldn't even guess what they thought when they called me.
Reflecting on the irreversible past, I lit a cigarette and headed to the Samgyeopsal restaurant.
_____________________
"Did you come?"
"Did you order?"
"Two servings of pork. I didn't order drinks since I'll wait for you to arrive."
O Jin-myung. Although we haven't known each other long, he's been very considerate, calling me hyung and treating me well.
"On your day off, buying drinks for someone like me. Don't you have anyone else to meet?"
"If I had someone else to meet, would I be meeting someone like you?"
"Well, I'm the same as you, but oh, today's your birthday, right? Here, take this."
"How do you know it's my birthday?"
"I'm younger than you. Do you think I wouldn't know something like this in today's world?"
Jin-myung handed me a small box wrapped with great care.
I couldn't even estimate how many years it had been since I received a birthday gift.
"Thank you. But what is it?"
"Can't you tell by the wrapping? Open it when you get home."
We started drinking soju and chatting. From trivial jokes to gossip about directors.
Then, Jin-myung sighed and asked me.
"Hyung, didn't you make a film before? I heard about it a long time ago."
"Yes, I did. It was a long time ago now."
"It didn't go well? I only heard that you made it, but never what happened to it."
"Eh, should I tell you?"
"Really?"
Jin-myung, looking surprised, grabbed my arm.
"Talking about things like this should be done in a different setting. Isn't it the way of the world to change the place when changing the topic of conversation?"
"Haha, that's right. As expected of you, hyung. You've got great taste."
Jin-myung laughed heartily and got up. We moved to a nearby pub, ordered beer and snacks, and continued our conversation.
When I briefly summarized my film career to Jin-myung, he frowned.
"Those are completely rotten scoundrels, aren't they? Such filthy bastards…"
"Thanks. I appreciate your anger."
Jin-myung looked at me for a moment, his eyes showing either sympathy or pity. His eyes looked quite sad.
"But with that skill of yours, are you working in the film industry abroad?"
"What else can I do? It's the only thing I know."
"You're not someone who should be doing small jobs. The world is really harsh."
"That's just how life is."
I sighed deeply with the smoke from my cigarette. Jin-myung chuckled and continued.
"So, how many years have you been working on sets?"
"Well, it was a hellish situation, and I couldn't find work for 5 years. So I just left Korea as if fleeing."
"So, 16 years working in film abroad?"
"Yes, that's how it turned out."
"So that's why you had so many complaints about the sets?"
Jin-myung had often heard me grumble about the set's conditions—director's direction, lighting, composition, and everything else. Since Jinmyung was from the same country, he was the only one I could frequently complain to.
"But sometimes, your opinions actually improved things. I have to admit that."
"Thanks for at least saying that."
"Oh, words are easy."
After drinking with Jin-myung, I returned to my small abode.
The cigarette I smoked while looking at the moon was quite enjoyable.
The rich aroma of the smoke filled my lungs and soon dissipated.
"Should I have one more drink..."
I poured more into my glass and downed it in one go, causing a sharp sensation in my stomach.
Things that are bad for the body comfort the mind.
Which would be faster—dying from the body becoming trash due to smoking and drinking, or dying from the mind becoming trash without them?
I couldn't decide, but for now, I wanted to comfort my mind.
I turned on the video I had paused earlier about me.
[Director Kyung Chan-hyun is a victim.]
"Huh...?"
[Producer Lee Jun-seong, a long-time friend of Director Kyung, has also joined in.]
This YouTuber usually didn't make videos like this. He would just put up photos with audio and subtitles.
[You were close friends with Director Kyung?] [Yes. I even lived at Chan-hyun's place for a while. That friend is truly a victim. But even now, the world still sees him as a perpetrator.] [I see. But the reason for revealing this now is...?] [I've always spoken out about it. I tried to resolve it legally too. But no one listened. Even when articles were published, no one cared.] [But now it's been so long...] [Kyung Chan-hyun. He was the only genius director I've ever seen. Whether time has passed or not, find him and...]
I turned off the video. Jun-seong had aged quite gracefully.
He could easily pass for someone in his late 30s. It was good to see him, but I couldn't bring myself to face that face. I felt too guilty.
I had ignored Jun-seong's calls and changed my number...
I sighed and took another drink. Maybe it would be better to just disappear like this? I slowly closed my eyes.
But a faint light started to seep out of my padded jacket pocket.
"Huh...?"
The light grew stronger, enveloping me, and then I lost consciousness.
_________________________
"Hyung."
What's this? That voice sounds familiar.
"Hyung! Wake up!"
"Who... huh?"
I opened my eyes to find myself on a theater stage with a man. It was Jin-myung, who I had just been drinking with.
"Is this a dream?"
It felt too vivid. Even though it had been 48 years—long by some measures and short by others—I had never had such a vivid dream.
"Whether it's a dream or not doesn't matter, does it?"
Jin-myung looked at me with a bright smile.
"From what I see of your life, it seems like it's all gone wrong. Your talent as a filmmaker... seems fine though."
"Haha..."
Jin-myung snapped his fingers.
Snap!
With the crisp and cheerful sound, Jin-myung transformed into a completely different person. Dressed in a suit with a stylish beard, he was a completely different person.
"I'm known as the God of Cinema."
"Pfft..."
"Is it funny?"
When he frowned, I shook my head and tried to stay alert. Since it was just a dream, I might as well play along.
"No, I'm sorry."
"Do you know about the multiverse?"
"Of course...?"
"It's often mentioned in movies. There's a universe where the film industry is on the verge of collapse, called E-18495."
Multiverse and now a planet name?
"All the talented ones have disappeared. Steven Spielberg? Tch, he was never born.
Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino. None of them exist. I don't know who the fool is that prevented their existence, but they're nowhere to be found!"
"I see. So?"
I tried to stifle my laughter at the so-called God of Cinema's passionate speech.
"Would you be interested in making films in that world to revive their film industry? As the God of Cinema, I can't tolerate this."
"What?"
The God of Cinema and all that, it sounds absurd.
Revive the film industry? What difference would one person make?
"Ah, yes, I see. It sounds like an interesting request."
"Judging by your expression, you seem uncertain. Even though you're a genius, is that all you can manage? Such a nonchalant response to this opportunity? Has your pride vanished just because your life went awry?"
"Just a bit awry...?"
At that moment, the thin thread of my sanity snapped.
"What do you know about what I've been through!"
Overwhelmed by rising emotions, I couldn't speak.
Damn, why does a dream suddenly start to scratch at you like this?
"Why do you think I wouldn't know?"
With another snap of his fingers, we were in a movie theater. On the screen, fragments of my life's hellish experiences flashed by.
The downfall of my home cinema.
The news of my parents' deaths.
My brother's accident.
Just the worst scenes...
"Stop it..."
Tears began to fall. The reason I drank and tried to avoid facing these feelings... was to never face them again, even in a dream...
"Do you have the confidence to revive the film industry in the world I mentioned?"
"Yes! Send me back! To the time when I first started making films! I'll make works so outstanding that Spielberg, Martin, and Quentin will all bow down to me!"
"Hahaha! You have the spirit needed to save the film industry. Go and revive the ruined film industry."
The God of Cinema snapped his fingers again, and I lost consciousness once more.
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