Capítulo 64: Why does Love hurt so much?
"Alexander." I say in disbelief.
I stand in the middle of my room shocked by what I see. It's late at night, a big red stain in the middle of my dress and Alexander's in the middle of my room. I never thought I would see him again, guess I thought wrong. Before I'm able to utter words out of my mouth he speaks first.
"Who was that guy you hugged outside?" He asked looking over my balcony. Wait, was he spying on me out there? He did go through my balcony doors so that means he must have come through my backyard, because I would have seen him outside. Also, who was he to question me? He's the one who disappeared for almost two weeks.
"What are you doing in my house?" I ask putting my hands on my hips.
"I asked my question first." He turns around with a scowl on his face. He really has some nerve walking in here demanding me to answer his questions.
"My question automatically trumps yours this is my turf." I say angrily.
"I came to see you." His eyes scan over my face. The last time he looked at me like that was when we made out on my couch.
I throw him a dirty look as I turn away from him. "Oh really? Well, your two weeks too late."
"I know." I can feel his eyes burn in my back. "I missed you."
I swiftly turn around, blood boils throughout my body. "You miss me? Missed me enough to break into my house. You do know that his is breaking and entering right? A crime that could land you in jail." I point over to my door and the easel that he ran into coming in here.
"Mostly entering I didn't break anything." He smirks.
"It doesn't matter. It's still breaking and entering. So, are you going to tell me the reason you were gone for almost two weeks? The reason you didn't return any of my calls nor texts?" I cross my arms while waiting for him to explain himself.
He turns his eyes away from mine to his shoes. If I'm seeing this correctly, he's nervous. "I can't tell you." I let out a sigh and roll my eyes.
"Unbelievable. You came all the way here because you missed me so much that you were able to ignore me for two weeks. Then you come back and can't tell me where you were."
"If I could I would." He walks up to me and grabs my hands with his. I can feel his warmth migrate onto my hands. How I longed to be able to hold his hands again. Just to be near him, I hate how weak I am around him. "You just have to know the reason I was away was a good one." I look at him suspiciously, he isn't lying I can feel it. Still, I need to know where he actually was, for clarity.
Maybe he was with another girl. "Just FYI I wasn't with another girl." He says reassuring me. That's nice to know. I mean he isn't my boyfriend or anything, but it would hurt me to see him with another girl.
I pull my hands away from him while pacing across my floor. "That's not a good enough excuse. You know what? You're just another typical guy."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I can tell from his manor that he's mad.
"I mean that your just another typical guy. You find an innocent girl like myself and charm them with your...charm. Then she's so dumb that she falls for you and your dazzling smile. As the days go by, she falls harder and harder, then the guy goes and have his way with the girl. Lastly, once he gets what he wants he disappears and may or may not come back. In this case you actually came back." I let out a breath that has been held in my throat and plop down on my bed. Looking up at him his face is filled with guilt and a mix of anger.
"Quinneth no." He interjects.
"Just stop. Other than Myers you're the second guy to show some interest in me. Admit it Alexander you used me, and I'm dumb enough to fall for it."
Suddenly I feel myself being snatched up from my bed and shoved into a muscular chest.
Alexander's holds my head in his hands facing up to him. Since he's so tall I have to crane my neck, I'll totally be having neck cramps tonight.
"Is that what you think of me? A flake, someone that would use you. If you find that to be true then you really must be dumb. You don't know how crazy I've been going in my mind without being with you." He suddenly stops talking, his hands clench on my face ever so delicately. I can feel tingles from his hands escalate through my body. His smell is intoxicating it's a mix of pine and a natural manly smell. Whatever he's going to say it looks like it's eating him alive. "I'm madly in love you." My eyes widen by what he just said. Is he sure? We've only kissed twice and hung out maybe 6 times. "I know that it's early, but when I'm around you I feel a sense of euphoria and I know you feel it to. I love it when you get nervous you fumble with your fingers, or when you rant your eye does that twitching thing and those darn short skirts, they'll be the death of me." He lets out a chuckle. "I would never in life use you I need you to understand that. Do you understand that?" He asked slightly shaking my head, I give him a nod.
"That's very passionate of you, but my question still stands, where were you?" He looks down at the ground then at me.
"I can't tell you." I scoff and push his hands away from me. "Then that whole confessing your love for me is kind of redundant don't you think. You can't have the confidence to say you love me and then keep secrets from me. Get out."
"What?" He says in disbelief. I didn't know where I was going with this, but I was on a role and wasn't about to stop.
"You heard me I want you not only out of my house, but out of my life. I cared for you Alexander, like deeply." My voice starts to crack. "I let you touch me Alexander, touch me in places that no one has before.
Then you just leave me, alone, not knowing where you were. At one point I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere like that guy on Dateline." I stroke my hands through my hair in frustration.
"I understand Quin-." I hold my hand up not letting him finish his sentence.
"NO." I scream at him; fright succumbs to his face. "You don't understand what it's like to care for someone and not know where they're at. I want you out." Tears stream down my face, I didn't think I would cry but yet again I thought wrong.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" I know he was hoping that I would say no and change my mind, but I will stick by my word. I usually don't, but this time I will.
"Positive." I turn away from him trying to dry my face. He slowly walks up to me bringing my face in his hands yet again.
His lips plant a sensual kiss on my cheek, kissing the salty tear that glides down my face. Once his lips leave my cheek they go to my ear. "You look beautiful tonight." He whispers. I turn away from him not wanting to see him go. "Bye Quinneth." A gush of wind leaves behind Alexander pushing my hair in my face.
What did I just do? Get rid of the one person that really loved me, in that kind of way. It was difficult to do, but I just had to say it you know. I swiftly turn around hoping he would still be here or came back, he was gone. Almost like he was never here, vanished from his very earth.
I walk onto my balcony and lean against my balcony doors. I hug my body trying to console myself, it doesn't work. Sitting down on my balcony, the cold air makes the hairs on my arms stand up. What just happened?
Alexander's P.O.V.-
I walk hastily onto the pack; my hands ball up in a fist as the blood in my body boils.
I can't believe she just... Dismissed me like that. I understand why she doesn't want to see me again I wouldn't want to see me again either if I was ignored for two weeks. In all fairness I didn't ignore her on purpose it was the stupid ban.
If I would have told her where I was, I would have had to tell her who I was, which is a werewolf. Giving up my identity would have been also giving up my family and friends identity, which I wouldn't do. I so much wanted to let her know, when I stopped talking, I was originally going to come out and tell her I was a werewolf, but instead I told her that I loved her. Honestly, I never thought I would tell her that, but something overcame me.
Riddled with frustration I lay down on the grass and look up at the stars. It must be so simple to be a star, the only thing you have to do is glow. This is so complicated. While just lying on the grass, existing, I hear footsteps coming near me.
"I can feel your anger. It's practically suffocating me." I hear Skipper say behind me. Sitting up her black wavy hair sloshes against my shoulder as she sits down next to me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." She gives me a side smile while shrugging me off.
"It's fine, I needed to get out the house anyways Christian is on the phone with Luci." She rolls her eyes in disgust. Helena, also known as Skipper, is Christian's little sister. She's more mature and tolerable than Aora, her counterpart. "Why are you angry?"
"It's just... Work stuff." I say lying to her.
"You know I can feel emotions right, so I know when you lie to me like right now." Her eyebrow lifts up. Did I forget to mention Skipper can read emotions? No one can lie to her or deny their feeling because she'll know. "I'm going to let you try again in telling me the truth." She tucks her black locks behind her ear waiting for me to talk.
"I found my mate." I mutter, but her being a werewolf she heard me clearly.
"Oh my god this is thrilling news. Is she here at the pack? Don't tell me she's from Luxor or Almeeria? I bet she's from Luxor you guys will have cute babies with white hair." Excitement escapes her lips.
"No Skip she's a human." Her smiles fades away from her lips and a plain look forms on her face.
"A human? An Alpha hasn't been mated with a human in ages. This is... interesting. So, I'm guessing the reason you guys fought is because you couldn't tell her you were a werewolf."
"Exactly. I so very much wanted her to know who I am, but it would only put her and us in danger. I can't risk that." My hands come to my face rubbing it in agony. "What to do what to do."
"I can feel that you have hope, that you know this isn't the end but yet you act like it is." Sometimes her gift can be really annoying.
"That's really annoying you know that?" I tell her. Her green braces glisten in the moonlight as she laughs.
"I know. She will forgive you Alexander she's your mate." I shake my head erratically disagreeing with her.
"No, not this time you didn't see the look on my face. It was decorated with despair, anger, sorrow and betrayal. I don't think she'll forgive me." We spend the rest of the night just talking and staring up at the sky. Skipper is the best person to talk to, because you can't hide your emotions around her so your forced to confess. Which is nice, sometimes.
Why does love hurt so much?
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