Capítulo 10: Fourth Story
I awoke early and was rewarded with another very LOUD announcement over the Vox that, in further celebration over the victory of Kiava Gamma, there would be a second meal served at the cafeteria. Starting now. I got dressed and hurried over, seeing as there was clearly going to be a big rush and long lines.
Fresh bread. Two slices. Slightly reheated. A small square of real butter. I idly wondered how much Profit Margin Celeste has spent. Still, going by what I've heard, she must be easily the second most wealthy person in the Expanse, only being behind Calligos Winterscale. That's only because Wintercale's realm is the largest, and mostly self-sufficient, neither factor being the result of Calligos' actions but rather his ancestors.
Kiava Gamma sending out shipments again definitely tipped the scale in Celeste's favor. Winterscale's forge worlds have been claimed by the Adeptus Mechanicus sect known as the Explorators, and while they do send out goods, most of the industry go to the Tech-Priests. They compensate by dedicating whole fleets of their ships to Winterscale, but trade is low compared to Kiava Gamma. Chorda's forge world has slowed production, and has had reports of the same problems Kiava Gamma had. Heretics. Chorda's trying to deal with it in her way, by destroying entire sectors in orbital bombardment purges, but she's only destroying her own planet and the heretics have scurried deeper into the bowels of the planet. Knowing the spoilers I know, it's only going to get MUCH worse…and eventually Celeste is going to get a new forge world at the end of it.
I saw Batis, and I sat down. He had another solider next to him. He was clearly a heavy gunner and had a whopper of a scar across his face.
"Hello." I said.
Scar guy nodded.
"Echo, Cozler. My husband." Batis said. "Coz, this is Echo. He's Shel's entertainment today."
"Shel?" I asked.
"Shelly. Our daughter." Cozler said. "She's looking forward to it. She's had me read a lot of your data slates to her."
"I didn't know you were married, or had a kid." I said to Batis.
Batis shrugged. "It's kind of recent. Coz and I got together a little after the mutiny. Shel's been with him for a while. She still calls me Batis, or Sir." He sighed and shrugged. "Still, she asked me to teach her how to read, and that's been going well."
"How'd you meet?" I asked, slowly eating my bread.
"I got reassigned. They needed fresh blood on the upper decks, so they pulled me and Shel from the mushrooms to Upper Decks. We saw each other and…that was that. I applied for cohabitation, and Old Man Werserian approved it." Coz nodded. "Of course I always had a soft spot for the smart ones who talk too much."
"Mushrooms?" I asked.
"Lower Deck mushroom farms." Batis said. "Grows food for the whole ship. Good work for Lower Decks, but the families that run them are partially mutants, and you smell like shit all the time."
"What do you think they use to grow them? Toilets drain downwards." Cozler said.
"Do not ask me how many showers I made him and the little one take." Batis said.
"So…daughter?" I asked Cozler.
"Not that interesting a story." The big man said. "Met a mushroom girl who was human enough, she and I have a moment, a couple of cycles later she hands me Shelly and goes back to the shit. Never said a word."
"I see." I said.
"She was being kind. What future did Shel have with her? They knew if you kept her she'd at least come with you when you rotated out." Batis said. He turned to me. "I'm sorry, we've had this discussion a thousand times."
"Would you like to give her a treat?" I asked. "Special seats for the reading?"
"Really?" Batis asked.
"Sure. The brass and Top Deck crew have the prime seats, but I managed a private opera box for my family, the Nebb/Halcotts. If she doesn't mind sharing, I'm sure they could squeeze one more in." I said.
"What's the catch?" Cozler said, sounding suspicious. Heh, overprotective dads are all the same.
"I need some equipment moved for the show, and I don't trust the servitors to be careful enough with it. I could just ask Seneschal Werserian about it but…you're here." I said, popping the last piece of bread into my mouth.
Cozler nodded. "Alright. When?"
"Now, actually." I said. "I think I just need you, Cozler. You can get your kid ready." I said to Batis.
"Sure. Where should I take her?" He asked.
"Layer 9, 28th Box, Starboard Wing." I said. "Ask for Joy Nebb, tell her I sent you. Okay, let's go."
Setting up the show took a bit of doing, but Cozler was just what I needed. He moved the instruments, he set up the various backdrops to be raised and lowered, and checked and loaded all the guns with dummy rounds. (This is a 40k telling of Narnia, did you think there weren't going to be guns?)
"This is elaborate." Cozler said, as he set up the spotlights.
"Yeah, well…jumping around an empty stage can only go so far." I said. "I want the kids to really see this stuff. Get it in their minds. I gave this whole big speech to Sister Argenta. I'll spare you. Okay, let's try it." I went over to a console and pressed a button, the light clicked on and a beautiful color drawing of a Lion, in mid-roar appeared on the hanging sheet we had put up there. "Okay. That should work."
"That's the Emperor?" Cozler said.
"Word got out?" I said.
"The Retinue gossips on the Bridge. The bridge crew hears it, word gets around." He said. "You think the Emperor looks like that?"
"In Narnia yes." I said. "Does that bother you?"
Cozler shrugged. "I never really thought about it much. Shelly will like it. He looks brave."
"He faces down death without fear or hesitation to save the soul of a boy from an agent of the Archenemy." I said.
"The Emperor dies?" Cozler asked.
"He gets better." I said. "He's the Emperor, you think some witch with a knife is going to keep Him down?"
"Heh. Yeah." He nodded. "Okay, you need anything else?"
"Other than a lot of luck?" I said. "No. I think I'm good. Thanks, this was a big help."
"Sure." Cozler said and turned to leave.
"Oh, real quick." I said. "What's Shelly's favorite story? Just so I know what kids want to hear."
"The one about the little girl psyker." Cozler said. "The one where she goes to the schola with the horrible headmistress."
"Oh, Matilda!" I said. "Huh, I thought the psyker thing would turn people off."
"Nah." Cozler said. "She likes it at the end when the Emperor turns her back into a regular girl when she gets a good teacher. It makes her think that He'll…never mind. You sure your family's kids will be okay with her watching with them?"
"They're good kids, but…well…" I shrugged. "Kids are both innocent angels and savage brats at the same time."
Cozler grinned and nodded. "Very true."
"Joy Nebb will be supervising them, and she doesn't tolerate any nonsense." I said. "If it does go bad, I'll personally tell them that I'm unhappy and make it right."
"Thanks. Okay, good luck." Cozler said, and headed out. I went to check the puppets.
The 40k universe is not enlightened in any way. This includes sexuality and gender identity. They just don't care. (Unless you are a Noble, in that case they VERY much care. A LOT.) You like men, women, both, neither? If you're worshipping the Emperor, serving the orders of those above you, staying away from xenos and the Archenemy, and not questioning any of it? They don't care. You wear whatever clothing you're assigned, usually gender isn't a factor, and as for where you pee? If you have a designated hole that serves as a toilet, you're ahead of the game. They don't care. Which also means they don't have any support for ANY issue you might have with that ENTIRE host of subjects. They. Don't. Care.
Which is why Celeste and I had to work that much harder to do.
I heard the massive front doors of the Secondary Chapel open, and the children and their chaperones, began to enter.
Since this was one of the chapels, there was a humongous organ at the back of the stage. I went over to it, and started to play. You really only get so many chances in your life to play an organ in a room bigger than some buildings are tall. So, there really was only one thing I could do.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9rZjlsyYY
I have to stop to try and help you understand how many kids there were. Okay, Calamity's fortune is about the size of a good sized city, let's go with Chicago. This also includes all the suburbs and surrounding towns. Just…the entire Chicago area. Okay, take that and give it the population density equal to that of Paris. Central Paris, where people live packed into building in closets that are smaller than mine. Now, separate that number into family units in your head, average size about one person and their spouse, and give them about 2.5 kids each. That number is about what I was about to perform to. This chapel sat them all comfortably.
While playing, I looked up over my shoulder at the Starboard Wing towards the box that I believed held my family. I couldn't see anyone from this angle. Oh well.
I finished Toccata, and moved on the Hall of the Mountain King. Then after that I stopped having preferences and let Echo of Shaharah take over the playlist. It took a bit to get everyone inside and seated. Thankfully, children in 40k are really well behaved. The reason why is very simple. Physical abuse! Still…I'd seen more chaotic assemblies of adults a fraction of a fraction of this size. Finally the children were gathered, and I returned to take control of my body. I did Cruel Angel's Thesis, because why not, and then I got up from the organ, and assumed my place at the center of the stage.
I don't know if this is true for all theater kids, but I feel there's something sacred about when an actor is on stage right before they start the show. There's a moment, when everyone comes into an agreement. The actors are about to take you into a world, some made up mental space where they create anything and everything, and the audience allows them. There's a trust. We trust you will not harm us. We trust you will delight us. We trust…and we will believe what you say is true.
I don't know, maybe that's just my version of the jitters. Also I was playing to a crowd that's bigger than most stadiums. That would freak anyone out.
"The Pevensies were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy." I began. The vox amplified my voice across the entire giant cathedral. It was becoming the Voice of the Divine. I suddenly understood why all those celebrities had such egos. Twenty seconds of that alone and you stop thinking of yourself as merely human. Thankfully Echo of Shaharah did the equivalent of snapping their fingers in front of my face and got me refocused.
I went into the adventure of the children traveling to the magical universe, that was created by the Emperor, called Narnia. The talking animals were all animals from Earth originally, and for their dutiful service, they had been allowed to live in Narnia by the Emperor, and given the gift of speech. Mr. Tumnus and the other fantastical creatures did become mutants, who were there to help serve the Emperor. Although currently most of them were under the wicked witch Jadis' control. Currently, the land was held by said witch, who was (of course) a servant of the Archenemy, keeping the land locked in winter until the arrival of the Sons and Daughters of the Emperor. Which were the children.
I did realize, as I approached the Lion's entrance, that the majority of the children in this room were not going to see me. The Lower Deck children way in the back in the cheap pews, especially. They'd hear me fine. Vigdis had done her best, which was just shy of spectacular. Still, the jumbotron had yet to be rediscovered by the tech priests. (Also, Pascal would have withheld it from me out of spite anyway.) That's why I was so glad I went with shadow puppets.
I was just a guy in a blue uniform jumping around, but hold up a raccoon shadow puppet to the light, see it displayed over a huge blank curtain Cozler and I had hung up, and move its tail as it talks? I heard oohs and aahs. Echo of Shaharah was very proud at the detail they had put into them. I almost had suggestions but…'Do not cite the deep magics to me, I was there when they were written.' The Meme knew what they were doing.
Finally, the big hurdle came. The entrance of the Lion. Now, plenty of people in the 40k universe have spoken the words of the Emperor. He wrote plenty of them. Much for have spoken for the Emperor, in the Emperor's name, by the will of the Emperor, and from the Emperor. I was speaking AS the Emperor. That was a bit different. All of it was good stuff, sure but…
I was a little afraid He might show His disapproval.
The Lion appeared, and there was a quiet murmur. Then I spoke. I didn't go for Liam Neeson. I went calm, strong, with a slightly deeper voice. It seemed to go pretty well. No one jumped up and screamed heresy or rushed the stage. I pressed on, and got to the Lion's first roar. I pressed the button on the control box Vigdis had given to me.
I still don't know how she found an actual Lion's roar, but DAMN if she didn't deliver. It shook the room, the reverb was ear pounding, and I felt my stomach shift to the left while still in my body. I owed the Borg Queen a favor because there was not a soul in that cathedral that didn't think that THAT was the Emperor's roar.
It wasn't all me reciting Lewis' words and doing shadow puppets. I played a few instruments for scene transitions, changed the giant white sheet to more colored backdrops I was using to indicate that Jadis' winter was ending, and a deep red for the Stone Table segment.
The stone table bit brought the entire room down to a hush. They couldn't believe it, they didn't want to believe it. The Lion, His Gloriousness, Dead? Then when he came back…I hit the roar again, and there was pandemonium. Children cheering, whooping, their parents crying, prayers shouted, and a great and grand HALLELUJAH! It was the 300 moment multiplied by a countless amount. Echo of Shaharah kept my head in the game and the performance, which was good because that 'I am a divine being' intoxication had hit again. There were priests in this world that spoke to planets…entire sectors! Oh, so much just made so much more sense. I had them. All those children. They were with me, and I could lead them anywhere. Such power.
So, like any good leader in the 41st Millennium, I led them into battle.
As the battle between the Lion and Jadis' forces began, it was very clear that after this I needed to bake Vigdis a cake or something, because that cathedral was CHAOS. (Little c.) I threw things, fired the guns into the air, screamed and raved. The children went wild, jumping up and down, waving their hands, screaming and demanding more carnage and depictions of the Lion's forces DECIMATING Jadis' army of Daemons.
I finished, caught my breath, waited for the pandemonium to ease, and went into the denouement. The Pevensies became the Kings and Queens of Narnia, and ruled wisely and well. Then they followed a white stag, and emerged from the wardrobe the same as they entered, as the Emperor/Lion wished them to live their lives in this universe, and bring His wisdom to all they knew.
End of Part 1.
Massive applause, and cheers. I made the Lion roar again, and everyone responded in kind. I had them. It had worked. Even better, people in this galaxy were used to long sermons, although this may have been one of the few the children were paying attention the entire time and not nodding off to sleep. Also, there were snacks! Servitors came up and down the aisles and to every box with boxes of actual cookies and pouches of real juice. Celeste's work, obviously.
I stepped offstage to wipe the sweat off me, and get a long drink of water, only to be ambushed by Argenta hugging me!
"It's working!" She said to me with astounding zeal. "I can feel it!"
"You can?" I said.
"Yes! It's the same as when I say my litanies on the battlefield! The warmth of the Emperor entering me, and the Light in my eyes! I see that light in all children! I hear their hearts beating in turn with His Glory! They BELIEVE, and it is so pure and true…but fragile." She said.
"That's what act 2 and 3 are there for." I said. "To nail it in."
She nodded. "Yes. Yes. Prince Caspian. The glorious battles against the non-believers!"
"They believe in the end." I said.
"I know, I know." She said rolling her eyes.
"Hey, could you do me a favor while I'm doing the show?" I asked.
"Of course." She said. "What?"
"Could you go to Layer 9, 28th Box, Starboard Wing?" I said. "The Nebb/Halcott family are there. Just check on them for me. Okay?"
"Your family? That's no problem at all." Argenta said.
"Great. Also, there's going to be an extra girl there, her name is Shelly." I said. "Could you see if she's okay too? I'm afraid there's a chance the kids might pick on her. She was raised in the Mushroom Farms, so she may look a little different. She's human." I said, to clarify.
Thankfully, Argenta either accepted what I said, or knew about the conditions of the people living in the mushroom farms on the ship. She nodded. "It will be done."
"Great, if she's having a hard time, take her from the Nebb/Halcotts and find her somewhere else to sit. Somewhere good." I said.
"Why this girl so specifically?" Argenta asked.
"She's the daughter of my friend Batis. He and his husband did me a favor so…" I shrugged.
"Ah. Yes. Of course." She smiled and nodded. "If there is trouble, I'll take her over to my orphan's box."
"Thank you." I took a deep breath. "Okay…let's do this."
"Make the Lion roar again!" Argenta said.
"Things never happen the same way twice." I said.
The applause when I came out was like having lightning injected directly into my spine. It just went on and on. Just like Argenta, people were shouting ROAR! ROAR! AGAIN! ROAR! I held up my hands for silence, and the throng obeyed.
Everyone loved Reepicheep. I dunno why. I mean, I think he's great, sure. However, the cheers that I got when I put up his shadow puppet were intense. The kids loved this little rat and wanted to go slay the Telmarines with him! I had the weird feeling that the ratkin living on the ship in the Lower Decks were now going to be seen as slightly less disgusting by a whole generation. Provided that they were as adorable, and badass, as the Lord of the Talking Mice.
Prince Caspian was a lot easier than L,W,&W. Everyone was already with me, talking animals, dwarves, mutants, the faithless Telmarines save for rebel Prince Caspian, the Pevensie children coming back and leading the armies. Sure. No doubt. No hesitation. I was driving this train, and everyone was coming along.
I actually worked some stuff from the movie into the telling. A few line changes, and extra scenes. Everyone was on the edges of their pews when Jadis almost came back in a dark ritual. However, when Edmund stopped it…well, everyone was relieved but I also felt a weird feeling. See, Edmund had been The Betrayer in the last part, he was the reason the Lion sacrificed himself. In some of the 40k children's eyes, he was tainted and forever unworthy. Now here he was, slaying evil without a thought, and being true to the Emperor. Redeemed. It was an odd idea to those raised on imperial truth.
But that feeling passed as we went to the big battle and Lucy raced off into the woods to find the Lion. Naturally, she did, and I hit the roar button again, and I thought I would get numb to it, but when the children rose to their feet cheering His Name, because of Me, I…was then instantly get slapped down by Echo of Shaharah who reminded me that I was not part of the Ecclesiarchy. We had a job, and we were not here to swallow the same grox shit that we were trying to extract from all these minds.
The Telmarines accepted the Emperor into their hearts, and the Lion revealed that they were the descendants of pirates who got lost in a warp storm and arrived in Narnia. Some returned to our Universe, some stayed and vowed to bring His Word to all corners of Narnia.
End of Part Two.
There was more applause, and then more servitors with snacks. Ambull jerky, and a can of sparkling water. Honestly, Argenta was fine with corpse starch crackers and water pouches, but dear, sweet, do-not-let-this-woman-have-control-of-the-budget, Celeste insisted on splurging. The Lower Deck kids way in the back were never going to forget this day. Of course, that was the point. However, I'd like it to be more about the Lion, and not worshipping the woman who's family crest is on the only carbonated beverage they've had in their lives. Still, believe in Celeste who believes in you, I suppose.
I went backstage to freshen up. This time I changed out of my sweaty storyteller uniform shirt, into a fresh one. Argenta came in when I was pulling the new one down.
"Am I okay?" I asked, tucking in the shirt. "Creases fine? No wrinkles?"
Argenta came up and adjusted my collar, and smoothed out my chest. "The Nebb/Halcott children are having a good time. Shelly is fine, they're all getting along. The old woman watching them? She's there, along with the Joy woman. She told me to tell you, that you should find a Primarch and be their personal herald. You are apparently wasted on this ship." She said that with a smile.
"I think the Emperor's Sons need no babbling fool to tell others they are magnificent." I said. "Besides, who would tell our Lady Navigator her scary stories?"
"There are greater audiences in the Imperium proper." Argenta said. "You could speak to billions."
"I couldn't do that…I would miss you." I said, softly.
Argenta heard that. She looked away and I thought her face looked a bit red. I thought I had made her angry. "I mean…" I coughed. "I would miss you all. Lord Captain Celeste, Seneschal Werserian, Lady Navigator Cassia, and the others."
"Of course." Argenta said softly. "I…I should go see to my orphans. Make sure no one is hoarding the refreshments." She left, not looking at me. I grabbed some water, took another deep breath, and stepped out to finish the show.
Celeste asked us not to do the entire Narnia cycle. She was wise. Three books is a nice chunk of time. After that, kids get tired, kids get rowdy, kids start to lose focus. Even with the threat of chaperones beating them, the juvenile mind can only take so much before the squirrels start to break out of their habitats.
Still, they wanted one more before they went back to sleep on whatever passed for a mattress in their part of the ship. I felt for the Lower Deck kids. I kinda wanted to say that everyone could have a slumber party here, and call for more snacks, blankets, and pillows. If I did, Abelard would have killed me. It would have been worth it for the look on his face, but…like the Meme in my Head said, we were there to work.
Nobody liked Eustace Scrubb, the Pevensies' cousin, when he showed up early in Dawn Treader. Every time I said his name, there were boos. Then he was cursed and turned into a dragon, and the boos faded away. At the end, where he admits that it took the Emperor's help to reverse his transformation, and now he was a fervent believer, I heard claps. Three cheers for character development.
Reepicheep got a huge goodbye when he paddled his little canoe up and over the ocean wall into the Lion's Country. I waved goodbye to him as asked everyone to say goodbye, and then there were thousands of goodbyes, and waving hands. I heard a few people cry happy tears. Finally someone in their world got a happy ending, and would be waiting to meet them when they went to the Emperor.
I ended the story, of course with one more giant roar, and the evening, and the applause was lesser this time. Everyone was spent and ready to go home. I did have one more surprise, care of Celeste. Servitors came out with crates of data slates. Enough for everyone, and not only did they have the three stories I just told, but the rest of the Narnia chronicles as well. They could see how the story ended. (With all the Pevensies going to Narnia and the Lion's Country after a great and glorious combat with the Archenemy in all four forms. Save for Susan, who's fate I changed from Lewis' original. She chose to go back to the Koronus Expanse and serve the von Valancius Dynasty as whatever she wanted, and the Emperor respected her decision to live in this Universe and try and make it better.)
I wanted to collapse, but I had a quick stop I needed to make. I headed up to Layer 9, 28th Box, Starboard Wing, and knocked on the door. Joy opened it, and her eyes lit up the moment she saw me.
"Footfall!" She hugged me. "Oh, that was WONDERFUL! Everyone, look who it is!" The children all cheered and came and gave me hugs. I felt my energy surge back. I took a look at all the kids. Mid-ship life was treating them well. Gone were the lesions and bruised skin. Their ribs no longer were popping out of their chests, and the bags under their eyes were gone. They still looked very malnourished and a few were obviously now on the work rotation judging by the calluses, but by 40k standards these kids were great.
They asked me a million questions about the story like good fanboys and girls. I told them that they should read the data slates to learn the rest. They all said that they were learning to read, and a few proved it to me by holding up the sparkling water cans and reading off the label.
"Wow! That's amazing!" I said, then I looked to Joy, to confirm if this was true.
She nodded. "Actually, nearly everyone in the families are learning. It's becoming…unfashionable on the mid-decks to not be able to read the great Echo of Shaharah's stories. I've gotten much better myself. Word is that on the Lower Decks, they dedicate a few people to become literate so they can read aloud your tales."
"Huh. We might have the best educated ship in the Koronus Expanse" I said. Echo of Shaharah laughed and finally understood why its power had been on the upswing lately. "Well, that's good. I'll have to make more then! Do the kids have a favorite?"
"Ask them!" Joy said.
The kids gave me their opinions, and the census was very clear. More Goosebumps, more Nancy Drew, and more Warrior Cats. I told them that I would absolutely make more of all three.
"Now, there's…hold on. Where's Grandma?" I said.
Grandma was behind the crowd of children, on her knees clutching some large bundle and bowing to me, reciting prayers to the Emperor. She was once more crying.
"Oh, get UP mother!" Joy said helping the woman to his feet. "The man's not an Astartes. He slept on the same mattresses as us! Echo, here…I was hoping to get this to you somehow, but now that you're here we can give it to you." She handed me the bundle Grandma was holding. I took it and shook it out.
It was a blanket. A patchwork of a hundred small squares of various fabric all stitched together, and all of it was covered in small embroidered prayers. It must have taken them a month to make, at least. I wrapped it around me and it felt soft, and warm. Echo of Shaharah cooed in pleasure. "It's perfect." I said. "I love it."
"It's the least we could do. You've done so much for us. Why?" Joy said.
"Do you know how Kyrx got me on board the ship?" I asked.
She nodded.
"Then you know why." I said. "Anyway, I'm also here to see my guest. Is there a Shelly here?"
"Oh, so she is with you." Joy said.
"Yeah. No one gave her or her Dad trouble did they?" I asked.
"No. For a moment I thought he was just a guard muscling in a spot for his daughter, but then he knew my name and I knew you had sent him." Joy said. "Shelly, dear?"
A small girl detached from the crowd of kids, who were poking at the Narnia data slates. I saw why people might have picked on the girl.
She was black, and I don't mean as in African-American, I mean as in Salamander. Red eyes, black hair cut similar to Argenta's, and a shy smile. She was intimidated by me.
"Hello, you're Shelly, correct?" I said, kneeling to her eye level.
She nodded.
"I know your Dads. They helped me put on the show. Did you like it?" I asked.
She nodded.
"Wonderful!" I said. "Did you have a favorite part?"
"I liked it when the Emperor roared." She said quietly.
"I liked that too." I said.
"And I think that should be my cue." A voice said behind me. "Hey Shel. Hello, Miss Nebb."
"Hello Guardsman Batis." Joy said. "Shelly was a delight, everyone got along."
"Wonderful. Hey, Echo. Saw the last bit, great show." Batis said.
"Thanks. Your kid's sweet." I said.
"Yeah. Okay, kiddo. Let's go see Pop!" He held out his hand. Shelly grabbed it and walked away with her father. A few kids said goodbye. She didn't turn around to look at the rest of us.
"I was shy like that when I was her age." Joy said. "You grow out of it after some good hard labor."
"Alright, well, good night. Be safe getting home, and thanks again for the blanket." I said, leaving myself.
I didn't see Argenta or anyone from the Retinue, so I figured that the sister was busy managing her orphans, and I was tired so I just had the servitors throw everything in a crate, and leave it by my closet to deal with tomorrow. I went back to said closet, and staggered inside. The exhaustion creeping over me as the adrenaline finally gave out.
There was a box on my table. Long, rectangular and flat. I looked at the note on the top and smiled. Ada had finished one of her jobs for me, the other one would be done soon. Great.
I collapsed on my bed, wrapped in my new blanket, and slept like the dead.
The next day I was informed that Celeste wanted to have a small party to celebrate her victory. This was to be in the lounge with the Retinue. It was to be more personal than the big event on the bridge. That was fine by me.
I was fetched by Abelard, and when I brought along the box, I got a raised eyebrow.
"It's for the Lord Captain." I said. "It's a new form of entertainment. It's a game like regicide."
He nodded, and brought me to the lounge. There, Heinrix, Idira, and Jae, were waiting. I looked around. Yirlet was in her corner as usual, staring. "Are Sister Argent and her Ladyship not attending?" I asked.
"Argenta and Cassia are planetside taking out the last few heretic hideouts." Celeste said. "They said if they had to spend another day stuck in the ship they'd lose it. Their loss."
"Oh, poor Muharij," Jae said teasingly. "Missing your best listeners. Now you'll have to work to amuse us."
"Well, I do have this." I hold up the box. "It's a game similar to regicide. I thought the Lord Captain might like saving two planets this evening."
Heinrix instantly leaned forward, eyes wide with interest.
"Sure, a new game sounds fun." Celeste said. "What's it called?"
"Pandemic." I said.
I laid out the board, and started assembling all the parts, shuffling the cards, and describing the rules. The game, to those of you who never played it, was simple. Nurgle has released 4 plagues on a planet. (I told Celeste she could name it whatever she wanted, and I had made up the city names.) The players were apothecaries trying to find cures for the plane while preventing outbreaks, and healing who they could. Each apothecary had special bailies, a vox, a transport, access to hab units, etc. They weren't playing against each other, they were playing against the board, i.e. the Archenemy. I showed the many ways they could lose. They could run out of time, spread too much disease, or have too many outbreaks. I showed how the plague spread according to the cards, the cursed epidemic cards, and how they travelled around the board, built medical stations, and cured the diseases.
"So we need 5 cards of the same color, unless we're the Chirurgeon then we only need 4." Heinrix asked. He was getting it instantly, I could see the wheels in his mind churning.
"Yes." I said.
"I wish to be the Vox Operator." He said. (To those familiar with the game, that was my version of the Dispatcher.)
"Very well. I think everyone should get to choose their roles the first time you play." I said.
"Is that not how it's done?" Celeste asked.
"Some people like to shuffle the role card, deal out two to each player, and choose from those two. It adds some complexity if the team requires different strategies to optimize themselves." I said.
"Well, we'll pick first time. I want to be the Hospitallier Astartes." Celeste said. (Medic.)
"Well," Jae said. "I suppose I'll be the Chirurgeon." (Scientist.)
"Idira?" Celeste asked the psyker. "Who do you want to be?"
"Oh no." Idira said. "I'm just going to watch. You said I wasn't allowed to say anything the voices tell me. I don't need the Interrogator glaring at me when I tell him when those Epidemic cards are coming."
"Fine. But that also means no laughing or smirking when you know we're going to have trouble." Celeste said. "…Unless we're losing." She looked at her seneschal. "Abelard?"
"Games are not my best skill, Lord Captain." He said. "I fear I would just be doing whatever you or the Esteemed van Calox told me to do. I have little to add to this amusement."
"Can we play with three?" Celeste asked.
"Three or four is considered ideal." I said.
"Okay! Set it up, Echo. Show us how bad this planet is." Celeste said. I didn't feel bad that they didn't offer for me to fill in the last spot. My job was clearly gamemaster and rule arbiter.
I started the game, and the group were in an okay position, if they played smart. Heinrix was, right out the gate, optimum player. He already had figured out the nature of how the plagues spread and how to best use the other two roles. I've seen good dispatchers, and he was on point. Celeste liked wiping out the cubes, and had a good grasp of how to play the medic role. She was an asset to the team. Jae was a hot mess. She was just trying to have fun with something that wasn't exactly a thing she was into. Thankfully, she was willing to be quarterbacked by Celeste and Heinrix.
Celeste and Heinrix really got into it. However, it was for different reasons. Celeste liked the story of the game. Saving people. Healing the world. Grand adventure. Each time an Epidemic card came out she hissed between her teeth, and closed her eyes each time she pulled cards from the spread deck. Heinrix saw a new puzzle to complete. It was interesting, intricate, required teamwork, and a little luck. He memorized all the cities that had already been exposed to the plagues, and was calculating strategies as to how to best stymie the board's aggression. This was an Inquisitor in his element.
At the end it came down to one last turn. Celeste's next turn would be her making the final cure, giving them the win. However, due to Jae running around like a kid with a bucket on their head, the board had a lot of possible outbreak sites. If they had another outbreak, it would chain into another, and then another, and that would be game over. They had to draw three spread cards from the deck at the end of Jae's turn. I knew that there was a very good chance that one of those cards would be an outbreak.
Echo of Shaharah told me that it would be, they had been card counting and could watch each card as it was individually shuffled. Then they asked is they wanted to…help. The cards hadn't been flipped yet so what was on them was a little variable. They could shuffle things around a bit.
It was a little like cheating…it was technically cheating…it was absolutely cheating.
But Celeste was biting her lip, and Heinrix was gripping his fist together very tight and I saw frost, a sign of Heinrix's psyker powers, start to form on the edges of the board. If they lost, they'd never play this game again, and I'd never have another board game night. Not a huge loss, but Echo of Shaharah told me that the more variations of stories that were out there the better it would be. Also, they would have won if Jae wasn't deliberately making chaos! Frak it. I told Echo of Shaharah to do it.
I saw Idira turn her head, like she heard something. Crap, her Voices must have spotted the swap. The question was that did they tell her about it in a way she understood. The Rogue Trader game says her Voices are rather vague or needlessly complex, making her predictions only make sense in hindsight. Unless you were really good at deciphering them. Celeste probably was. She took a drink of her flavored water, and went back to watching Jae flip the cards.
"And the last is…Taxxacl!" Jae said.
"YES!" Celeste said. "I move to Osstean, where there IS a Med Hab, play all five blue cards, and cure the last disease!"
Heinrix nodded in satisfaction.
"Congratulations." I said. "You have saved the planet. Your cures will spread and keep the planet safe until help can arrive from off world."
"This was FUN!" Celeste said. "Jae, I was about one turn away from hitting you!"
"What do I know about medicine? The only thing I know about it is street value." Jae said. "You two are talking and making plans and sounding like you're orchestrating an entire campaign! Then you yell at me what to do, when I'm trying to do exactly what you want!" She was smiling when she said it. "Anyway, there should be a smuggler role, who goes off planet and comes back with cures from other planets. THAT is what I would do."
"Okay, fine." Celeste said. "Echo? Next game you bring, it has to be something Jae likes."
"Yes, your Grace." I said. I instantly went into my list of games. Weirdly, Dixit was one that seemed to be a good fit. "Anyway, I have some funny songs to lighten the mood. Let me just put this away." I went to clear the board, but Heinrix's hand went up. "I would like to take this, Echo of Shaharah. I think I know others who might enjoy it."
"It is yours, Lord Interrogator." I said. "Piano?" I asked Celeste, as Heinrix carefully started to put the game away. He clearly had figured out where all the pieces went in the box. Ada had done a really great job making the game. Celeste nodded, and I went over.
"This is how Calamity's Fortune got barred from an entire planet." I said. I saw Celeste grin, and I went into (and edited) version of 'Banned from Argo.'
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH8lvwXx_Y8
Celeste and Jae loved it, and were singing along to the chorus by the third verse. They both clapped at the end. Idira was smiling, and Heinrix was smirking as he was contemplating all the Pandemic Role cards.
"Oh, Muharij, I could tell you stories!" Jae said. "You'll have six or seven more verses!"
"Another!" Celeste said. "Please."
"How about a song of a victory over the Archenemy?" I said. "Slaanesh gets humiliated by a farmer's son."
"Sure!" Celeste said.
And thus 'The Devil Went Down the Georgia' became 'Slaanesh went down to Janus.' It's not as great solo on a piano, as when Charlie Daniels does it. However, it seemed to please. Almost.
"The child should have destroyed that golden instrument." Heinrix said. "It was most likely a trap, made to destroy the sanity of the next person who played it, or heard it played."
"Yeah, yeah." Celeste said. "Alright, do a story next."
"Of course, do you want something I've written already or a new pi-" I started.
"Speak of Shaharah." A new voice said, we all turned and look. It was Yirlet. She hadn't moved, and stared at me as impassively as before, but it was definitely her who spoke. She didn't look like she was going to add more.
"Yeah." Celeste said. "Argenta said you remembered this story about your planet? Something about Shaharah the person, and Saint Argenta."
"I..umm…promised Argenta that she would get to hear it, when I said it." I said.
"You can tell her it again, when she gets back." Celeste said.
"Oh, shereen, don't be so cold!" Jae said, swatting her on the arm. "Can you imagine the look on her face when she hears she missed it? Oh no no no…besides…" She whispered something in Celeste's ear. Her eyebrows went up in surprise.
"Really?" Celeste said.
"Would I be wrong? She'll be back tomorrow, we can hear it then." Jae said. "Although, it better be good, Muharij."
"I promise." I said.
"Okay, tomorrow." Celeste said. "I don't want Argenta to sulk." She took another long look at Yirlet, who stared back at her. Yep, Celeste is definitely following Yirlet's romance path. Which is weird because in my game I did both Yirlet and Jae until I had to pick one to complete. I don't think she's wooing Captain Heydari though, because one of the early scenes of her romance is the pair of them having VERY loud sex broadcasted across the entire ship. It's very funny. That has not happened, and I'm pretty sure it didn't happen before I awoke.
"Do you know any stories about Xenos?" Celeste asked. "Not…not those Humanity Frak Yeah stories…something that's less hostile."
I think for a moment, and then an idea comes to me. Do I try it? Do I try it with a member of the Inquisition in the room with me? Frak it.
"There are some…legends about ancient Earth. Long ago, before the Emperor revealed himself to Humanity. Before the Inquisition, mankind knew that there had to be some organization to manage the xenos that found their way to Earth. It was a different time. Humanity had not reached the space where there were Aledari, Orks, or Tau. There were other xenos, now long extinct by other xenos, or humanity itself. Humanity in its magnificent benevolence, for we were so innocent back then, gave these xenos a place. The organization that did so was known…as the Men In Black."
Then I did a one person show of the first MIB movie. I didn't do Will Smith's rap routine. Actually, once you got past the 'Humanity is okay with xenos on Earth' bit, the story is fine. Two proto-inquisitors hunt down a giant alien bug and blow its head off. Hard to call that heresy. Heinrix didn't boil my blood in my skull. Good sign.
I finished and only Celeste clapped. "That was good! Oh, wow…was…was that what really happened? Was there really the Men in Black?"
"It happened so long ago." I said. "There are many stories of the Men In Black," Echo of Shaharah had the cartoon series, the sequels, and all the tie in novels ready to go. "But, it may have been fanciful tales from young humans staring at the stars and imagining how they would interact with us. If you wish more tales, I am happy to tell them."
"No." Celeste sighed. "It's late. Also, we have the big Shaharah story tomorrow. Maybe we'll do another one then. Good work, Echo. Also, you've been doing spectacular with all those data slates! All those down and you still have more? How in the name of the Emperor did you and your mother end up beggars on Footfall when you have such talent?"
"A storyteller is only good when people stop to listen." I said.
"I guess…okay, everyone out." She said, and everyone moved to the exit. I was escorted by Abelard to the elevator back to Upper Decks, and he gave me a nod of approval when we parted. I made my way through the halls, and to my closet. I saw a box in front of my door, and opened it. It was Ada's second project I had her make. Excellent. Abel was going to love it. I picked up the box and went inside. I put it down on my table, turned around and saw Yirlet standing right behind me.
"GAH!" I said, backing up, bumping against my table. I held up my hands showing that I was absolutely NOT touching her. Yirlet has a serious personal bubble, and if you touch her with your Mon-keigh hands, she has NO problem breaking them into tiny pieces. That's if she's feeling patient and charitable.
She just held up a data slate and tipped it towards me. I gingerly took it, and she turned and walked away.
I sat down in my chair, and looked at the data slate. The first line was a message from Celeste.
'Echo, we're going to make a stop at Janus next. Please have this story ready for a performance. It will be to a very different audience. I will be there with you. Everything will be fine. I'm sure you'll do great. -Celeste.'
The rest was…I frown as I look at it and felt Echo of Shaharah's curiosity, and then excitement when we both realized what this was. This was an Aeldari story! Wait. Janus. Special audience. Oh, by the Emperor, Celeste wanted me to perform to the Aeldari. Oh there was no way that was going to work.
I didn't know what it was meant to accomplish, really. Show them that a mon-keigh can parrot their words? Understand their culture? No. This was Celeste trying to impress her girlfriend's dad. Who's not really Yirlet's dad, just a Farseer named Muaran, who's just…the worst. He disliked Yirlet, hated humans while mind-controlling them to do his dirty work, and would rather wage war against humans than fight an obvious Slaanesh presence. The only reason I didn't kill him in my playthrough was because I wanted the Iconoclast points.
Now I'm expected to stand before him, and all the other Aledari on Janus, and perform for them. They were going to shoot me dead.
I started to read the Aledari story, and I discovered something. They kinda suck. Or at least this story sucks. Which is a shame because of how it sucks. Every time a new Aledari character was introduced, their entire lineage was announced behind them. A complete lineage. You remember how in the Christian Bible there was that unwieldy sect of 'And so-and-so begat so-and-so' that most people skipped? Imagine that for 50 pages, and if I got one name wrong, I would get a laser to the brain.
Thank the Emperor for Echo of Shaharah. They were recording all of this, and making sure I knew each name. Finally, when I got through all that nonsense, I started to see what the actual story is about. There was no story. No plot at least. As far as I could tell, this was a nonsense story with funny sounding Aledari words. It took me a moment to get it, when I finally parsed the entire thing. This story was the equivalent of Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks. I was going to be performing a children's story.
Actually, if Yirlet thought I was good enough for Seuss, that was a small compliment really. She could have given me 'Dick, Jane, and Spot.'
I began to memorize the story, and I slowly ran into a problem. I don't know the correct way to pronounce some of these words. Pronunciation is a really big deal for Aeldari. I'm going to have to ask Celeste, or even Yirlet, tomorrow morning. I put the data slate down, get out of my storyteller's uniform, pull NY-4N out of the corner they've wedged themselves into, wrap myself up in my blanket from the Nebb/Halcotts and lie down on my mattress to go to sleep. I realize that I forgot to close my door, the second my head hits the pillow.
That triggered the Chaos Fetish someone had slipped between my mattress and the bed frame. Instantly, my mind is plugged directly into the Warp. Echo of Shaharah is seized by crackling energy and the spell starts to rip it apart. Meanwhile, my brain is being cooked like an egg inside a microwave. My psyche is assaulted by images that come straight out of Event Horizon, and colors that do not make sense. The human mind has a weird trigger. When it registers a color that the eyeballs don't have the rods and cones to process, it makes it look purple. It's why UV light looks like it does. Species like the mantis shrimp, have the right kind of eyeballs to see such color. I was currently seeing mantis shrimp colors.
The entire experience was very Unpleasant.
So, I was now rolling on the floor of my room, all three of us screaming in pain. In a few moments, our minds were going to be gone, and then the energies were going to start working on mutating our body. My hands were clutching the blanket, holding it around my head as if it had the power to keep it from popping like a balloon. I saw the written prayers on the fabric, and I just started reading them aloud. It held the Warp back for a few critical moments.
When the trap triggered, NY-4N's defense programming kicked it. It sensed tremendous warp energy, so it ran away and sought out the closest being with the capability to neutralize the threat. I don't know if it was dumb luck, or Echo of Shaharah's power of the Dramatic Rescue desperately reaching out as it fried, but the first person NY-4N ran into was Argenta.
She was in her armor, fresh from deposing heretics, and feeling ready for a good shower, a good prayer, and a nice sleep. NY-AN bumped into her foot, multiple times, hard.
"What are you doing you little pest?" She snapped at it.
NY-4N spun around on it's wheels and, a tiny siren blaring, raced back to my room. Argenta followed it, curious. That curiosity quickly turned to concern, and then panic as she realized that she was both going towards my room, AND she was sensing a HUGE warp presence.
Argenta saw me, sitting in a pool of Warp energy, blanket around my head. "By the Emperor!" She yelled.
I pulled the blanket down, see her, and screamed. "IT'S IN MY HEAD! BURN IT OUT!"
Argenta didn't think about it, she had her flamer at her side like any good Sister, and bathed me in ignited promethium.
The voices stopped. I felt such relief. The pain was there too, but distant, and something I could manage later. My last thought, before I passed out, was that the blanket had been destroyed, and that was such a shame.
There was darkness when I awoke. I make a choking sound, and twitched my fingers. I felt stiff but no pain. I thought that meant nerve damage. I thought that I was now a living charcoal briquette. There goes the isekai run.
"Oh, by His glorious grace. Yes! Please..can you hear me?" A beautiful voice said.
"Argenta?" I asked. My throat was dry and sore.
"Yes! Oh, blessed be his mercy! I was so afraid that…I did not want to lose such a pious soul." She said.
"Water." I croaked out.
"Of course." She said.
A straw was inserted into my mouth. I drank for a bit, and then let it go. "I can't see." I said.
"There's a bandage around your eyes." Argenta said. "Your eyes are healing. We hope."
"Hope?" I ask.
"You may have to have augments placed in their stead. The damage done by both the trap, and my cleansing flames, was serious. Celeste is planning on using her powers on you when she's feeling strong again." Argenta said.
"Celeste used her powers on me?" I asked.
"Heinrix too. Biomancy can do miraculous things, and it's perhaps the first time I was glad to have psykers at hand. When we realized that you still lived, they regenerated your body as best they could. Enough to get you to the medical wing, so the apothecaries and chirurgeons could do the rest." Argenta said.
"I'm making Heinrix another board game." I said.
Argenta chuckled and gripped my hand. It felt warm and safe. "You still owe me a story."
"What trap?" I asked.
"A large fetish of the Ruinous Powers. Designed to break souls and warp bodies. Your resilience against it was a miracle. Truly a gift from the Emperor after you enshrined him in all those children's hearts." Argenta said.
"The blanket." I said.
"What?" Argenta said.
"The blanket that Joy Nebb gave me…that my family made. I had it wrapped around my head and it was covered in prayers…I read them…long enough for you to come." I said.
I heard Argenta move and I realized she was now kneeling against my bed. "Blessed be we, Children of the Emperor, who harness the galaxy for your gloriousness. We are but humble servants, and we thank you for the strength and resilience you give us. Amen."
A pause. I asked for more water, and Argenta gave it.
"Who did it?" I asked.
"Heinrix was on a warpath. Celeste too. They think they know who." Argenta said. "The supervisor for Supply Depot 9128."
"We did never see him that time." I said. "I thought his crew just killed him."
"We found his workshop. It is your standard den of heresy. It is, however, strangely covered with messages about killing you." Argenta said. "Kill the Echo, and such."
Echo of Shaharah had an assortment of feelings but they equated to: 'Oh Shit.' I shook my head. "I never so much as talked to the man."
"Who knows the ways the heretic thinks." Argenta said. "Your success is not unknown on the ship, and he must blame you for your work crew's triumph over his. We are currently searching for him. It is a matter of time, but there are many holes for a rat to hide in on this ship."
"If he's after me then he might be after my family." I said, concerned.
"Seneschal Werserian has already posted guards at the Nebb/Halcott residences and performed a search to ensure there were no further traps. They are safe." Argenta said.
"I'll thank Celeste." I said.
"No. The Seneschal did so of his own volition once he learned of the situation." Argenta laughed. "You may not know this from the old man's countenance, but he is quite fond of you. He found your loyalty to your family, and the story of how you were taken on this ship, moving. He does not like people to know how sentimental he can be."
"Okay." I said. "I think I'd like to rest now."
"Do so." Argenta said.
"Will you stay?" I asked, not thinking about it.
"Of course." She said.
I went back to darkness. Then I called a roll call. Footfall was hurt, but recovering. His brain had been spared the horrors, as they had mostly gone after me and the Meme. His body and been worked over pretty bad, and severely burned, but Celeste and Heinrix knew their stuff. He'd be okay after some more rest. I was actually not that bad. The memories of getting a brain full of Warp were quickly fading. They were probably going to be really bad flashbacks about it at bad moments, but I was still me, and I was still sane. Echo of Shaharah had been worst hit. That spell was geared specifically for them. Me and Footfall were afterthoughts. It was also on the mend thankfully, though the cost was high. All of their 'children' they had made so far, the Memes, the jokes, the literacy rate, everything from the Narnia show, all of it, had been used to protect them, and repair them afterwards. Until we found some new stories, or enlightened more people, they were out of juice. That meant no protection from Chaos, no Last Minute Rescues, and no making One In A Million Shots.
I supposed that meant we had a lot of work to do.
"Hey! I heard you were awake!" I heard Celeste said.
"Mmh, yeah." I said sleepily. "How long has it been?"
"A week since you set yourself on fire. Two days since you woke up." The Rogue Trader said. "The medical staff was busy. You were kind of a mess."
"I hear I have you and the Interrogator to thank." I said.
"Yeah, well…you did the hardest part. Holding on like that. We just made sure you didn't slip. How's your eyes?" Celeste asked.
"I can't see anything under this bandage, but…I can see the light of the room through the gauze." I said.
"That's great! You won't need augments then." Celeste said.
"Where's Argenta?" I asked.
"She fell asleep watching you. I had her brought back to her bed. She didn't want to leave, but I said you'd wouldn't want to see her looking like she hasn't showered in a week." Celeste said.
"She's very kind. I'm lucky to have a friend like her." I said.
"Friend…heh, yeah. Sure." Celeste chuckled. "Anyway, lets get those eyes of yours. Hold still."
A cool hand was placed on my forehead, and I felt everything in my body tingle. I could feel my eyes regaining themselves and the damage reversing itself. The bandage became more clear.
"There we go…now…" Celeste started to unwind the bandage. "Now, when you see your body, don't freak out. The chirurgeons only had so much replacement skin ready at once. They weren't prepared to restore a person's entire body so they had to improvise a little. Also, Argenta said that this would never happen to you again so she added some…extras. Personally, I think you look good." She took off the bandage, and I blinked in the light and took in my new form.
My uniform tanned skin was gone. Now I was as patchwork as the blanket that had saved me. Pale skin, dark skin, black, white, yellow, red, grey and every other color a human body has possibly been in both universes. Also, there was Argenta's addition. I was covered by tattoos. Prayers, depictions of the Emperor, skulls, and drawings of ikons.
"A mirror, please." I said to Celeste. She picked one up from a table and held it up to me. I was bald again, and still had my dark, almost black, eyes. My face was, again, a patchwork of skin. Thin lines of prayers were tattooed across my face, temple, and neck.
"The Illustrated Man." I said.
"I'm sorry?" Celeste said.
"The Illustrated Man. It's a story I know. It's about a man covered by tattoos, and every tattoo is a living story of the man's life." I said.
"Huh. Well, rest up, because day after tomorrow, you have a big day." Celeste said. "Argenta wants her story."
"Of course, shall we use the parlor like before?" I said.
"Not quite." Celeste said. "You see, we're arriving at Janus tomorrow. You know that special audience I talked about? Well, it turns out they really really want to hear that story too. I don't know why, but these…people…really don't explain a lot. Anyway, you also know the story Yirlet gave you?"
I nodded.
"Great. This is going to be your most important show to date. You're going to be the first human to…well…you'll see. Okay, gotta go. Feel better!" Celeste took off.
I really wanted my blankie back that moment.
Status de energia semanal
-- Ranking de
Poder 
-- Pedra de
Poder