Capítulo 5: Break up
It was a Friday, and there was very little talk between me and Miguel, we have been together for three days already. Today though, at the end of P.E Chris came up to me to say,
"Miguel was wondering if you can give him a hug. It's up to you though," He said looking at me straight in the eyes.
"Okay, that's fine. But why isn't he coming up to me to tell me this," I said looking at Chris.
"Well he's shy, and nervous. I guess," He said rubbing the back of his neck.
I went to Miguel who was next to the lines to get into the P.E classrooms.
"Next time, come up to me and tell me when you want a hug, okay. I'll always give you one when you want or need one. It's okay Miguel," I told him looking in his eyes, blushing, putting my arms around his neck. Then, putting him closer to me into a hug sliding my hands down around his waist.
"Okay," He said while we hugged.
The bell ringed, we were still hugging. We hugged a little longer, I knew we had to leave so I let loose, but Miguel pulled me back, I was smiling because no guy that I did date did that. They would let it go, and let me leave. I was happy, I was glad I made this choice. All of my friends knew about me and Miguel, and other's too.
"I have to go Miguel. You do too, your class is on the other side of the school, I don't want you to be late okay. Why don't we talk at lunch time. I hope you won't get into to much trouble," I said smiling and looking at him blushing.
I was close to his face, I felt my face burning up. I left, looked back and smiled.
"Bye Miguel," I said smiling and blushing.
I speed walked to class, I knew Mr.Garcia, so he didn't give me a tardy, and he knew that I would finish the work he gives me. His class to me seemed like it was 4th grade level. All we had to do was write stories left and right. I would actually make some good stories that would only take me about three weeks. He would like the work I wrote and told me that I could go to publishing companies, and get a degree for writing. I don't know what I want to do. To be honest I've been having this plan of mine. Since I turned 11 years old, I told myself that when I turn 18, I am going straight up into the hospital, tell them to give me a shot. A shot that would put me to sleep, and make me pass away peacefully. I never liked the real world, I was scared, and still am. Ever since I was little, my life felt like I was no mere child anymore. I wasn't like the others, and so were my sister's. my little sister remembers a lot, I don't like it. I forgot, tried to forget. Shut thing's out, everything, and everyone. Even guys, I hated guys. I don't want to have another guy in my life to care about, they all seem to be having this thing in common. They all leave, my father left, my step dad leaves a lot. My Mom and him have this relationship where they break up and get together. I never want to care for a guy as much as I have, with my Dad. The day seem to have gone by fast, it was already lunch time, and I didn't see Miguel anywhere. Then, that's when I noticed it.
"Hey, has anyone seen Gaby, she hasn't been hanging out with us this pass week. Do you guys know what happened," I said to Angie, Katty, and Saria.
"She has been hanging out with others girls. She hasn't gone up and hang out with us," Katty said turning back at me from the line.
"She has been talking to me, even though me and her don't have any classes together. She said that she was going to hang out with a new girl until she finds other friends," Angie said while we were heading inside to get our lunch.
When we got our food, we sat at a table and talked about a whole number of subjects. I was always smiling, never showed a sad face. I decided to change a lot and to not get the negative things in the way. Nothings negative happened to me at school I always felt at peace. My friends were like a big wall blocking negativity, while I blocked them with a big door, and gate that's shut with numbers of locked chains. We headed outside, and went to the spot where we always hanged out at. Jose and his boys stopped coming with us, or hanging out with us. Jose has been avoiding me, I tried talking to him. To get things right, so we can be friends again. •~ You know that's not how you and him see it~• I at least wanted to be friends. Instead of Jose and them coming over, one of Miguel's friend, and mine came to me.
"Jenny, Miguel wants to break up with you, he said that your a who** too," Arthur said while he was with his friends, that I knew.
"What, why would he say that. Did he tell you why he wanted to break up with me," I said while shaking a little.
I didn't know what was happening, why he wanted to break up with me. Did I do some things wrong?
Arthur replied saying, "No, he didn't tell me the reason why, he just told me to tell you that he wanted to break up with you."
I told him okay that they could leave if they wanted too. I looked back at my friends,
"It's okay Jenny, it was just not meant to be. You'll find someone who will care about you," Angie said and pulled me into a hug.
"It's okay, I didn't think it was going to last anyways, it was just another mistake. I guess," I said smiling at them.
My heart ache while I was saying that. I didn't know why, I guess it was wrong of me to let someone to close to me again. I shouldn't have done that.
•~ It's okay, it will just be you and me. No one else.•~ My inner me... Why did it have to be bad. Shut the bad and negative in. Everything will be alright Jenny. School barely started and it's still the first month and things were already bad. The day came to an end, I went through the front gate, for the first time. It was a bad idea, I seen Miguel. He saw me to, I looked away and I headed straight home, I didn't turn back. I wanted to, and yell at him, tell him why he wanted to break up, and what I did. I felt like he was still watching me leave, because when I turned pass the classrooms, at the corner of my eye, I see him looking at me. I hated it, I hated him. Then again, I hated myself, I hated how I felt. I hated letting these little emotions I had get to me. ~Just forget about it, things like this doesn't have a care in the world for you, and you shouldn't ethier. You'll just disappear anyways.~ I told myself this, remember the plan that I have for myself. I can't fall in love... Can I???
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