Capítulo 4: How many Kakashis!?

"(It's) pretty interesting," Sakura blurted out. "I've never had a dull moment watching (it), except for the filler, I guess. I mostly skipped those."

"You think I'm…!" Naruto-disguised-as-Sasuke said excitedly, before catching himself at the last second. He then asked with a deeper, "I mean, you think he's interesting? Er… and what's filler?"

(In Japanese, personal pronouns, impersonal pronouns and even subjects in sentences are often omitted, which can lead to misunderstandings if you and your interlocutor aren't on the same page)

"Whoops," said Sakura, who was now realizing that Naruto-disguised-as-Sasuke was asking about Naruto the person. "Filler's nothing important, really; just forget I said anything."

"I've gotta poop," said Naruto-disguised-as-Sasuke just as coolly as before. "It's a huge load, don't wait up."

"Too much information, bro," she said with a look of disgust on her face.

And off he went back into the ninja academy, clutching his stomach. Naruto wasn't just acting this way to lower Sakura's opinion of Sasuke; he really did have to go to the bathroom, having ingested some expired milk this morning.

A few minutes later, the real Sasuke walked past her, glancing around as he searched for Naruto. A few minutes ago, Naruto had jumped him and bound him up in ropes, before taking his appearance with the Transformation Jutsu. Naruto hadn't wanted Sasuke interrupting his moment with Sakura, after all…

"Recess is over," he said coldly. "Where's that loser, Naruto?"

"Haven't seen him," said Sakura. "Want my help to look for him?"

"No need."

Since recess was over, Sakura went back to the classroom and waited for her Jōnin-sensei to arrive. Time ticked on, and little by little, the classroom emptied itself, as the other Jōnin-senseis arrived one by one, before leaving with their respective three-man Genin cells.

Sakura already knew that Hatake Kakashi was going to be their Jōnin-sensei, so once she was left all alone in the classroom, she began interrogating her system.

"First things first," she snarled at the impassive screen before her. "Why am I Sakura? And what's up with this Manyuu Chifusa's Breast Flow System, Let's Aim to Become the Best Kunoichi, Kyuun~♥!? And while you're at it, why don't you explain the weird measurement units in my status panel?"

The host specifically asked for their favorite character from their favorite anime for their template, which is Manyuu Chifusa from the Manyuu Hikenchou series. As for why you have become Sakura, it is because you did not choose a clan to integrate into, having chosen the template cheat instead. Haruno Sakura is a female civilian, which perfectly fitted the host's requirements. As for the units of measurement, KK represents one Kakashi's worth of chakra, which is about four Chidoris. S stands for Sakuras, which is you.

"Like hell I am!" Sakura swore, banging her fists into the system's translucent display repeatedly. "I specifically asked for Satoru Gojo, you incompetent system! Send me back to Lord Enma, or even better, send me back home!"

That is impossible, unless the host reaches the Otsutsuki's level and makes their way back to Earth through the sea of stars on their own. In which case, the host will still be occupying the body of Haruno Sakura.

"You're completely useless!" Sakura growled at the screen. "How exactly am I supposed to reach that level as a 101% human without a single drop of Otsutsuki blood, or without even a single useful Kekkei Genkai!"

The system has been designed to help the host reach the pinnacle of this star's lifeforms by issuing a series of intuitive quests that will both reward and train the host to become the strongest. The host's choice of template may be strange, but rest assured…

"Manyuu Chifusa wasn't my choice!" Sakura hissed. "I wanted Satoru Gojo! Sa.To.Ru. Go.Jo, Shannaro!"

Ding!

"What is it now!?" Sakura growled.

It was taking her everything she had to not scream.

Host has received newbie's starter pack. Open?

"Just open it, already," Sakura sighed.

You have obtained: 1x Manyuu clan's Breast-Slicing Kenjutsu (C-rank), 1x Munamori clan Breast-Flow Massage Jutsu (D-rank), 1x Manyuu clan's Kenjutsu (D-rank) and 1x Breast-Refining Medicinal Recipe (E-grade).

Knowledge flooded into Sakura's mind, settling alongside what she had already learned at the academy: kunoichi seduction techniques, flower arrangement, kunai and shuriken throwing experience, basic taijutsu experience, genjutsu release experience, tactics, survival, etc. Strangely enough, Sakura found that even though she did not possess a single one of the old Sakura's memories; she had conserved her verbal tics, as well as her training experience… for some reason.

"At least I'll have more techniques than the average civilian Shinobi," Sakura consoled herself. "The Substitution Jutsu, the Clone Jutsu and the Transformation Jutsu"

Ding! The System has detected that the host has already completed the beginner's quest. Receive rewards?

"Eh? What was the quest, exactly?" Sakura asked the System in surprise.

Achieve AAA cup size. Receive rewards?

"Accept the rewards," Sakura growled through gritted teeth.

You have obtained: 1x Sayama Ouka's self-taught ōdachi Kenjutsu (C-rank).

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Just in case the esteemed reader has never read the cultured gentleman's manga Manyuu Hikenchou or seen the anime, allow me to give you the shortened version. On a certain alternate earth, in another Japan during the Edo period, everything in society revolves around breasts, and one's status is decided by the size of their breasts.

But there's also magic (sort of)! A secret clan of ability-users, the Manyuu, helps the Tokugawa shogunate maintain this system by liberating the unworthy of their precious breast volume. Using a magical swordsmanship style, they sever the breast chi from the wives of the Bakufu's enemies, which effectively stops the poor or the overly ambitious from rising above their station and threatening those in power.

Before I continue, a small real-life history lesson is required: after Oda Nobunaga's death in Honnoji due to Akechi Mitsuhide's betrayal, his two greatest generals, Tokugawa Ieyasu and Toyotomi Hideyoshi, went on to continue unifying Japan's warring states. That is, until Hideyoshi got himself killed invading Korea for no reason. Ieyasu then turned on Hideyoshi's son, and that's how the Tokugawa shogunate that ruled Japan until 1868 was born.

The main character, Manyuu Chifusa, is the fruit of the union between two of Japan's foremost magical breast clans: the Manyuu and the Munamori, who joined up with the Tokugawa and the Toyotomi respectively. The Tokugawa family rose to power after the Battle of Tennoji, crushing the Toyotomi mercilessly in a bloodbath. The Munamori clan was almost exterminated in the struggle for power, but the Manyuu adopted one of their last remaining members: Chifusa's mum.

In any case, in the original story, Chifusa decides that a system of government based on cup size is idiotic, so she steals the clan's Scroll of Secrets and sets off on a journey to spread the Manyuu's secret breast-growth techniques to the public. She's sort of the Karl Marx of breasts; if everyone's got big and beautiful breasts, then everyone will be equal, and the system of injustice will collapse on its own.

It's sort as if Naruto had run away from the Hidden leaf and taught the Scroll of Seals's forbidden jutsus to random peasants in chapter one, for example.

However, Manyuu Chifusa the missing-nin is quite special: she has the equivalent of a Kekkei Genkai. Whenever Chifusa uses her sword to sever the breast chi of other women, she absorbs it, increasing the size of her own breasts in the process. Chifusa is descended from the Manyuu's and the Munamori's main families, so only she can wield both of their ultimate techniques…

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Notable characters:

Manyuu Chifusa: Begins at E Cup, then fluctuates wildly. Can absorb other women's breasts, but she can only give them back if she masters Breast Flow. Lesbian…?

Kaede: Used to be bigger than Chifusa, but was made flat-chested as a punishment for attempting to flee with her. Chifusa's follower. Lesbian.

Manyuu Kagefusa: Currently flat-chested for the foreseeable future, due to losing a fight with Chifusa. Big meanie. Chifusa's older half-sister. Lesbian…?

Ouka Sayama: Flat-chested for most of the story. A Manyuu assassin that chases Chifusa around, because she stole the Scroll of Secrets. Chifusa accidentally stole her breasts and permanently severed her breast chi when she was a child. Bi.

(I don't think I've ever written the word breasts so much in my life)