As an apology here is what the system would have been. Also, MC's full name is Frank Cliff
C.L.I.F.F.S System
C - Cheeky Check-in System
Example: You have checked in at [Perverted Stalkers Fap Corner] [Sercret layer of Annoying Brats] [Sweaty Oil Stain of a Creepy Fat Guy]. All check-in locations give items related specifically to the title of the location.
L - Lunatic System
Example: Every now and then your system with malfunctions either gaining a new feature, losing a feature, or changing a feature. All outcomes are random.
I - Irregularity - Changes the outcome of the given item making what's impossible possible. Usually, the system can give you something that already exists but now because of Irregularity, you can get new things that don't exist.
Example: You have acquired a wooden door that leads to the realm of cats. Hotdog gun, Ninja Turtle Movie DVD that has the ability to summon a seemingly NORMAL turtle. or even Perverted Mustache potion: Gives whoever drinks the potion a mustache that screams perverted vibes and is impossible to get rid of.
F - Fusion - Items given by the system can be Fusion items. Combines with Irregularity and Fun for special items and more.
Example: [Sticky Fat Sweat] + [Crusty Used Soak] = [Makeshift Love Protection]
F - Fun - Causes the Outcome of items and stuff given from the system to be more on the fun side.
Example: What should be [Sticky Fat Sweat] + [Crusty Used Soak] = [Makeshift Love Protection] would instead be [Sticky Fat Sweat] + [Crusty Used Soak] = [Creeps Boxing Glove] Ability: The [Sticky Fat Sweat] gives [Shock Absorbtion] and the [Crusty Used Soak] gives [Stun & Sharpness]
S - Simp System - This will give the MC random quests that are either impossible, weird, creepy, and nontraditional.
Example: Mission: Walk around the city in extremely flashy clothes and be brutally honest about everything you see.
Mission Standard: Review Standard uses Earth civilization as the basis, Rating 1 - 10 (items) like 5 shoes or 7 wet dreams.
Mission Completion: Review and Rate 5 People, 5 Businesses, and 5 Wifes
Mission Reward: Ability [Lie detection]
Mission Failure: Inability to Lie, half-truths count.
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Suspicious
Immediate
Mission
Pain-free
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that is the system.