Capítulo 44: Narrator: Part Eight And A Half
Didn't expect to see me here, did you? I am overriding the next chapter to bring in what could be Estelle's last moments outside of capture. Or will she escape? It's time to look at the other side of the story.
Koda's Pov:
My mind is racing, knowing I have to create a plan to trick sweet and innocent Estelle. I force our memories together out of my head, suppressing my feelings. Logically this will make the majority safe, and no lives should be lost, but it doesn't make this any easier for me. My family won't be killed and Estelle's father will get what he wants. It's truly only a loss for Estelle.
When she was a child he left their family out of the blue, never to return to Earth. Of course, I know he got involved with some shady shit, how could he not if he has ties to the Hunters. In the back of my mind, I have a hunch she'd be brought back to the cult, but I know for a fact they aren't intending to kill her, they can't kill anybody yet. Estelle will have to deal with being in captivity again, she's strong, she's done it before so she can handle it again.
Putting this off is not an option today, so I make a quick decision about how I should get alone with her outside of the house. The best option is asking her to come on an outing with me, considering she has had the deepest crush on me. It developed since the moment she saw me, first finding me attractive.
Initially, I was not interested or slightly curious, after all, I know everyone's little secrets. I know what they are going to do or say before it happens. But, the night at the festival changed that for me. I don't know if it was seeing her eyes light up with happiness for the first time knowing I caused that, or the thrill of the rides we went on. I almost put my arm around her, I was so close until Luke interrupted and sat with us.
That night Estelle and I sat and watched fireworks together on the cliff, her eyes sparkled in the bright flashes. We talked about our childhoods, memories, and bad times; the conversation was deep, but she never mentioned how her mother died. Either way, that night is so easily considered the best day of her life, according to her.
Afterward, I was debating on asking her on a date but decided against it. I have enough on my plate as it is, even a close friendship is too much for me. It is better for us in the long run to not deepen the feelings. Besides, leading her on is not what I'd like to do, although today I am breaking that rule. Today is going to be different, I'm going to take care of her until the last second. Every type of relationship I have I ruined anyway, so I have to make this good or I'll never forgive myself.
Last night I was set on immediately handing her off to her father. It would have been the easiest way to do it but after overhearing her cries in her sleep this morning I changed my mind. It seems like that's something I do with her a lot, and this morning was nothing different.
The haunting story about the death of her mother made me empathize with her: but she didn't know. I just listened quietly, understanding how truly awful her life has been all of these years. If I could bring her away from the harsh reality of life for a few hours I will. Maybe this time together will be beneficial to her mental state in the near future. I hate being the person to have to take this away from her, but I have to try to give her some hope.
I catch Estelle by surprise in the hallway and stop her; there's no turning back, it's now or never. She blinks back at me doe-eyed. Her nervous thoughts make me giddy as well but I try to play it off cool, "Hey, can I ask you something."
She doesn't suspect a thing, "Sure."
"I've been thinking about this morning a lot and I was wondering if we could go out to talk? Alone?" Instantly her mind is racing. "There's this nice calming spot by the beach, I'd like to take you there."
She stares at me shyly while I try not to pay attention to her thoughts. I know she wants to say yes, but she's unsure how to act because she's never been on a date before. I become giddy, feeling butterflies in my stomach for the first time. Is this a date?
"Yes." Her small voice comes out as a whisper.
****
After finding out that Estelle thinks we're going out on a date, I understand that I have to make it one in order to not let her down. She suspects that I have feelings for her, which is somewhat true. I'm interested in her and I plan to make a move if it feels right. I want to give her everything she's ever wanted while I still can. Sadly, it will only have to be for this date only.
The two of us first walk along the private beach, a piece of land owned by my grandparents. It's a small cottage they visit during the summer. Soon they'll come to stay once the nights are warm enough and the wind from the sea isn't as rough. I have countless memories here with my family, they remind me of what could've been if Estelle could stay.
Estelle looks back at me from her adventure of sifting through the sand in search of shells. Her feet emerged in the water, unlike myself who drew back to get my mind straight again. Though, it's nice to have a private place where nobody can come bother us or snoop on us. We're completely alone, where I can feel comfortable enough to make a move on her.
She looks at me with concern, her thoughts becoming loud inside my head. She's unsure how to start the conversation, worried that I've become uninterested. Suddenly her face goes cold, realization hitting her so hard that I can hear her think without trying.
"Sorry," I mumble.
"It's just hard to wrap my head around it."
I nod, "It's hard for me too, you're the only one who knows."
Why did I admit that? I shouldn't have.
I add, "I'm having a great time. You don't need to worry about that." I lie slightly, not wanting to tell her that I'm internally fighting with the thought that I'm giving her away against her will this evening. This time I was played and now she's going to suffer the consequences.
She forgets about the shell and instead walks towards me, "It has been noticeable something is bothering you. The past few days you've been acting so strange."
I had a hunch she'd notice, but she'd been intentionally hiding that thought from me today.
"I'm alright, Estelle."
She sits down in the warm sand beside me, "Thank you for being here for me this morning, you have no idea how much- I mean, you know how much that means to me..." Her genuine words make me smile, knowing she's not thinking fully about the way I made her feel comforted but instead my act of selflessness. She likes that I made it apparent I need to protect, especially family, which she's noted previously. "...But you're not all alone, I mean you've got me. I'll listen if you need to talk about something."
"There are some things that I can't talk about. Things I can't mention to anybody." The words slip out of my mouth so smoothly that I can't stop myself.
"I'm here for you."
Her words give me that rush again that I had this morning from holding her in my arms. Wanting much more, I act, keeping the 'its now or never' statement in mind. I lean over slowly, looking at the side of her face and admiring her freckles. As she brushes her dark brown curls away from her face, I decide to wrap my arm around her back, my hand nuzzling into her side. She freezes for a moment but then gives in and leans her body into mine. Her head lands against my shoulder, and I squeeze her tight feeling as if I could melt.
The beach is beautiful and sunny, the clouds from this morning have completely cleared up. It's a great and calming atmosphere for Estelle to spend her last day with me. I take in the moment for a few seconds, wishing life could stay in this moment forever. People say forever, either way it ends, so we have to make the best of the time we have left, little does she know.
I lift my hand to her face, turning hers towards me. I stare are her lips, they're pale but remind me of the color of a delicate flower. I bite my lip and look right into her eyes. Their color catching me off guard, making me feel funny inside finding that we've never been this close together. They glisten from the star above, showing me not just a dark brown but a green ring in her iris that I've never noticed before.
My hand lingers around to the back of her neck and pulls her face into mine. Our lips softly meet, and I feel her body bump into me. Our thoughts jumble in my head for a second, until I move my lips against hers in a nervous motion. We stop thinking, and just act, feeling like it's finally time we've connected.
When we pull away Estelle giggles, red-cheeked. Although she covers her mouth with embarrassment her face is lit up. Not able to contain myself I lean in again more confident than I have ever been. I give her lips a peck, pulling back to watch her want more. I smile, doing it twice more before placing my lips along her jaw and spreading little kisses across her face.
She stares into my eyes, perplexing me unlike anyone ever has; even though I know what's going on inside her head. I feel my heartbeat in my throat. She knows who I am, she knows I disappear mysteriously, yet she still allows us to get close like this.
"Estelle, I need to be honest with you." She looks at me, still grinning. I best not ruin that smile, "I've wanted to do that since we were alone at the festival."
She places her hand on my knee, "Why didn't you?"
"Estelle, I can't-"
She looks at me with such beauty, her brain in need of knowing.
I admit, "I didn't want to look like I was leading you on if we didn't get to build a future together. My family is in danger, we're all in danger."
"Then doesn't it make it more special?"
I nod, "I understand that now, but it's too late. And if I could, I'd do anything to have another day like this with you."
Estelle takes hold of my hand, flipping it and making my palm go up. She stares at our hands together, thinking for a long while about what we could be, the future we could have. She ignores my dark secrets, brushing them over, thinking they're not a complete deal breaker, but still, she is curious.
Carefully her fingertips brush against the long sleeve of my jacket, "I know the Hunters aren't gone and I know about this, Koda."
I allow her to pull up my sleeve to reveal the bandage I have wrapped around my marking. She peels off the bandage, almost afraid to peek at it.
"I know you saw it, I should have told you but I was trying to protect you."
I divert my eyes away from my wrist, allowing Estelle to examine it carefully. The burn is fully healed after I'd gone out and magically got it healed faster for it to be less noticeable. It left behind a nasty scar on my skin, something I'll live with for the rest of my life.
Ignoring the fact that I'm wearing the Hunter symbol on my wrist just like the rest of those men, she realizes outloud, "But you talk to Lynn about this stuff?" A pinch of jealousy arises inside of her.
She releases my hand.
I have the urge to show my honesty, "She's the only person who knows everything, not because I chose to tell her but because she already knew what I got myself into. We met when you both were in prison."
She's speechless, recalling the day she escaped where her and Ellie ran into Lynn and I in the woods. Realization hits her quickly that I helped Lynn escape that day after she was left behind. I did it because I didn't have the guts to take my friend back to prison, she would have been punished.
"I knew what it was when I saw it..." Her worries about me being one of them circle in her head, she could be correct.
"I'm not a Hunter by choice," I whisper softly.
I watch as her body tenses with my confirmation. She pulls back at me with hesitation, putting a distance between our bodies. As she stares at my wrist with fear in her eyes she questions everything she's ever thought about me.
This marking on my wrist is an evil reminder that I'm the sole purpose my family is in more danger than they were previously. Estelle can't know that, she can't ever know what I've gone through. The real me is better unknown.
"Yes you are," She plays with my mind. "You choose to be there, why?"
"I want to tell you everything but I can't. I refuse to let you know that burden." I sigh, "I had to learn my lesson, but at least my family didn't pay for it."
Estelle says nothing, betrayal messing with her mind. She does her best to shove it away and argue that I'm not what she suddenly thinks I am. I don't have the heart to tell her the truth. I am a Hunter, I do jobs for the men and I follow orders just as everyone else. Just because I have diverted some of the men away from us, from Estelle, doesn't mean I can protect her enough.
Estelle knows I'm not entirely corrupt, I'm nothing compared to those malicious men. She gives me the slightest benift of the doubt, although she's suddenly terrified of me.
I discretely ask, "And what would you do to protect your family?"
"I'd do anything."
She looks at my hands for a long while, unable to meet my gaze. I offer her my hand and she takes hold of it once more, tracing her fingers around my scar with her other hand.
"Would you forgive me if I was forced to betray you?"
She pulls me into her, "Life has always been unfair."
I pull her into me like I did when she cried, holding her in a tender hug. She does the same, not wanting me to let go, so I don't. I need to prepare her for tonight, I don't care if I have to tell her, I can't allow myself to turn on her like this.
"I've done everything I can to protect you," I say into her ear. "When all of this is over, we should search for your relatives. I promise to do my best to find out what happened to them."
She appreciates my sincerity, wondering why I'm interested in the matter, "I don't think my brother is on Earth. If he's alive he's here on Elyria."
Darkness fogging my mind I try to continue the conversation without breaking down, still heartbroken that Estelle's fate is in her father's hands.
She continues, "I don't understand how all traces of him were gone, but I bet Elyria has something to do with it. Lynn told me about this place, and ever since I've suspected he was here. But it's been so long, who knows what happened to him."
"Can I ask how old you were when all of it happened?"
"Twelve."
My heart hurts for her.
I pull away from her slowly so I can study her face, "After everything is over I promise I'll go looking for him. I want to make your life better. I want to make you whole again."
She smiles at me softly, unknowing that we need to leave soon so I can hand her off to her father, "What if things don't get better?"
I look into her beautiful brown eyes, "They'll get worse before they get better, I know that for a fact. That's why I brought you here...times are uncertain."
Her hand brushes my cheek, pulling my chin into her face. She kisses my lips, longer than we have before, savoring the feeling and reminding me that I should do as well. I take over, massaging our lips together as I yank her into me with desperation.
When we pull apart slowly we're put of breath and unable to speak. If I could go back and spend this minute with her again I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Minutes go by and I watch the star in the sky go behind the mountains behind us.
I state, "Whatever happens, I'll come back for you."
****
"I'm going to love making this your biggest regret of your life." Finn spits at me as Estelle softly cries beside him.
My decision was for the best of all of us, the only one I could make which made the most sense. I don't regret it and I'd jump to relive this day with Estelle if I could. If anything, I regret not taking the chance earlier to kiss her days ago, instead of having a goodbye kiss this evening.
I won't regret today for a second because this could be the last time we see each other. I inferred we both needed time together to say goodbye, that's the least I could do.
"It's what had to be done."
Estelle is now a pawn for the protection of my family. I've mistakenly handed her into the hands of the Hunters, but what choice did I have? Either way, this day would come, so we all will have to deal with it for now.
I don't dare look at her, knowing her tears have been caused by me. I cross my arms across my chest, trying to prevent myself from punching her father out of pure rage. I clench my fists being unable to bare it.
I'd rather just get in and out of here, but having Estelle in my capture makes me know it's going to be nothing of the sort. I can't just leave knowing she's here. The woman relied on me as a friend since the night we agreed on it back on Earth, and now she's angry with me because I have betrayed her.
I watch the man start dragging Estelle as if she's not his daughter but a piece of trash. My anger starts to grow as I watch him, my eyes glued to the ordeal.
I stomp forward knowing he's doing it puropusly to get my attention. I'm ready to give him a piece of his own medicine but he laughs, "Be careful what you do son, you could make me slip and I'd tell all of the men who you are."
I back up, wanting to defend her, to protect her, but I know I can't or I risk everyone's lives. He turns away, dragging Estelle with him. She shuffles her feet unable to keep up, and then trips over the curb. Her head turns to me, sadness in her eyes, complete disparity. The moment seems to stop time, making my brain take a mental photo of her. I'll never forget this.
Finn growls at me, snapping us out of the moment, "So are you coming with me or what?"
Without hesitation, I run forward to catch up with them. It might make me feel better being the one to bring her in, I won't beat her to death, but I know the other men would if they were given the orders.
The walk through the woods on Earth is painful and treacherous, not because of the terrain but the dramatics of the situation. I drag myself along not wanting to experience the evening events with the Hunters. I knew he'd take us here, but doing it makes it so much more real.
We make our way towards a vehicle in a field, Finn first throwing Estelle in the back. She tries to fight as he shuts the door but he's no match to her small body. She goes for the door handles, but they don't budge. If she ran, I'd let her go, it wasn't part of my agreement to chase a person. Oh how I hate child lock for this reason.
Once the Hunters building comes into view I feel sick to my stomach. Preparation takes me time, and I must be in the correct head space. Now that I'm arriving with other people it throws me off.
We enter the building with ease, heading straight for the lead Hunter's office. I'm on edge, knowing Estelle is more than furious with me. She has no intention on spilling anything I said, but still she doesn't know the concequences we face. She better keep her mouth shut for the sake of all of us.
I knock carefully, almost hoping the man isn't inside. A chair scrapes across the floor, "Come in."
The man's thoughts are blank, almost making me believe he wasn't inside. He answers the door, surprised to see me. He pays no mind to Finn and Estelle behind me.
"The report never came back from the wolf pack, Koda, do you know what happened to them?"
"No Sir, I was in search for the two women who escaped." I lie for once not feeling confident, "I tracked them to the Spring Festival, the other escaped me."
"We found one of my men locked away and the wolves gone."
I play dumb trying to hide my trembling hands behind my back, "Well, maybe the wolves got them."
He ignores me, "Ahh, I see pretty little Estelle has been brought back." He purposely doesn't give me credit, but I don't care.
Suddenly the Head Hunter is terrifying, his thoughts consist of very dark themes at the moment, something I'd rather not see come through. He may not be intelligent but he still runs this place.
"Alright young traitor, your next task is to mark our territory on this young present you brought me."
My stomach falls although I knew this was coming, "I will not perform entertainment for you."
"Alright, then we will provide horrors for you. Give me Estelle."
Finn hands her off to a second Hunter who was in the office, who grabs ahold of Estelle by the shoulder, pushing her hard towards the lead man. She fumbles but doesn't fall, catching her footing right at the lead man's chest.
Finn nods his head at us and turns away, not caring about his daughter who he just betrayed. I watch him leave, walking off down the hallways casually. After he's gone my new enemy looks at me with a grin, then back down at Estelle.
Now, just dealing with Finn doesn't seem half bad.
His follower holds her still, wrapping his large arms around her so she can't lift them. She tries to break free at first but gives up after the man starts squeezing her until she wheezes.
The Head Hunter's hand lands on her inappropriately, touching where her breast meets her ribcage. I take a step forward, "Come on stop that," I realize I could be giving myself away. I try to find the fake me again, "...be professional here." I roll my eyes.
I watch the tall man stick his nose in her hair. He lingers, brushing his fingers down her neck. I watch his hand feel the hem of her collar and so I shout, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
The Head Hunter grabs ahold of her long curled hair, pulling it down so her face is up to the ceiling. She grimaces but doesn't fight. I watch as he goes for her neck with his free hand, squeezing it.
"Stop! I'll do it!" I step between them, pushing him off of her. I look up at the Hunter, my face in his, "I said I'll do it."
The boss man gives his helper a death stare, making him release her.
"Now you'll have matching wrists with us!" He pulls up his sleeve, showing off his scar.
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