Capítulo 15: Silence
I spend all the time not saying anything.
Locking everything inside, when I just want to scream.
I want to talk to be honest. I want it so desperately, but I keep failing.
It's easier to stay quiet, it's harder to speak.
Just out of habit, it's my way to protect myself.
I know it's only hurting me.
The thing inside of me should stay there.
Everything hidden away so no one can see it.
Take what truths you will and what lies are told.
See if it causes a difference for the sights you behold.
Silence listens to all and is when there is nothing to say.
The truth is hidden in the silence that doesn't tell a soul.
The things spoken are understated and help you dig a hole.
Barry yourself deeper in the ground, you stay quite till you burst.
To explode your guts and expose the thoughts hidden inside.
What will happen if I was exposed?
The fear of what other things they oppose.
The silence protects fake friendships and relationships you want to end.
When your almost 18 but aren't so you have to be nice to your abusive parents.
It protects you from rash decisions and rude but true comments.
Silence is the answer to not explaining your real thoughts and feelings.
Not showing what your brain is realling.
The truth that is rude and no one wants to be told.
What no one would ever want to mold.
Confusion and misunderstandings left unsaid.
Mistakes thought but never said and left untold until dead.
Silence is all that is left of the dead.
All that is written and what the couldn't say.
So all of the times they just said I'm okay.
Some hate the silence and others thrive off of it.
I feel like it's the only way I ever survived.
It protects me from those around me and those who could hurt me.
It is harmful for those who could help me.
They can't do their jobs, cause I won't tell them what they need to know.
I won't let my emotions show.
When I try to get help because I can't help myself.
Then my silence makes it so no one else can help.
Buried deep inside and lots of places to hide.
You will never find me though you look everywhere inside.
Under the stair cause I will be.
Waiting for you to find me.
Silence is the way.
That is why I will never say.
What I would really like to say.
There is no way, you can save me.
Silence will encage me for eternity.
The end is near and the silence will protect your belief in my sanity.
Now silence has been faithful.
Silence truthful and trustworthy.
Silence is a curse and a blessing for those who love it.
The silent are wise and are the unknown.
The silent don't turn into stone.
There is the secrets unsold given out to no one.
No one to question or challenge the old.
Finished: 11:47 pm, Oct. 19, 2019
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