~~~ Yes I told myself I'll always stay the same, even if you hurt me I would take the blame. You are all I'm living for, I would love you even more, I would keep the pain inside my door. It's enough for me that I have come to love you I see, because the heart I have could only want you. I just want you to remember even if it takes forever, I would wait until the world is through when all that's left is only me and you...~~~
-Donna Cruz-
~~~~~~~~°~~~~~~~~°~~~~~~~~°~~~~~~~~
I don't know what did Doctor Mary said to Luke that day... I had no idea and I also didn't try to ask him. But since that day, I noticed his changes. Although he's still the cold-hearted Luke I married a few months back, but the way he treated me had changed.
He always leaves instructions to our maids to cook my breakfast and never let me do the things that will make me weary. He asked them not to give me any alcoholic drinks--- which I haven't tried to drink since I knew I was pregnant--- and all the kinds of drinks a pregnant woman is not allowed to drink.
Even though hasn't come home early every night, but I really appreciate what he does every morning. I never saw him again with bottles of beer in the living room or in the minibar near the kitchen and not to mention that apart of those changes that I noticed from him, he never brought any woman back into the house to fuck every other night.
At first, I thought I was just dreaming, until one saturday morning when I went downstairs, I found him cooking breakfast at the kitchen counter. A wide smile painted on my lips that morning and even though I still wanted to watch him even in his back, I guess he knew that there's someone watching him from behind.
I held my breath, walked inside the kitchen and pretended to be oblivious of his presence. I was in my 7th month of pregnancy and my belly was kinda round and big, so I couldn't walk faster.
"Sit down."
I was stopped from opening the fridge when I heard his voice. His voice wasn't sounded mad but it was deep that gave me chills down to my spine.
"A-Are you talking to me?" I asked, not sure of the question that came out of my mouth.
I gulped when he stopped turning the pancake and looked at me.
"Is there anyone else in the kitchen I'm talking to except you?"
I looked around and when I didn't see anyone but the two of us, I bit my lip and looked at him with an awkward smile.
"Sit down." He said again and I nodded.
Holding my breath, I walked to my favorite seat without even trying to spare him a glance. I wanted to ask why he was the one cooking instead of Rory or Elaine, but I chose not to open my mouth and simply follow his instruction--- although I wasn't used to seeing him do that stuff.
"I asked Elaine about the food that is good for the baby especially at breakfast and she said that cereals mixed with sliced fruit are healthy." He said, placing the bowl of warm oatmeal in front of me, then the bowl of grapes and sliced bananas.
My eyes followed his hands' movement until he put down the glass of milk. I looked up, with a crease on my forehead
"Oatmeal?"
"Yes, oatmeal with fruits and milk for pregnancy."
"Uhm... I - I thought I will have those pancakes?" I asked not looking at him but to the chocolate pancakes on the other side of the table that seemed to melt in my tongue.
"Tss! Those are mine."
And my mouth hung in midair when he took the plate full of my favorite chocolate pancakes and sat down across my chair. He poured the chocolate syrup over it and then sliced it before shoving into his mouth.
'Huh?'
My throat dried in disappointment and I couldn't help but gulp again as everything seemed to be in a slow-motion while I watched him bite every slice. I always craved for those chocolate pancakes especially the yummy syrup, but I think the world was against me that morning.
"Stop staring at me and eat your breakfast."
"But I also want to eat pancakes with chocolate syrup."
"No!" He stopped chewing, then shook his head. "You should start to avoid eating too many sweets especially chocolates if you don't want to have gestational diabetes."
"Gestational diabetes? What is it?" I asked him with a frown.
"Just ask your other friend." He replied but continued to eat the sweet heaven on his plate.
Watching his every bite made the crease on my forehead deepened. I didn't understand what he meant.
"Other friend--- you mean Jack?" I asked again, although deep down I was thinking of my other friend other than her.
"No, your other friend."
"But I don't have a close friend other than Jack, so who are you talking about other friend---"
"Other friend--- simply--- Google!"
My mouth formed an 'O' shape. Was it a joke? And I was about to laugh when he spoke.
"Why are you so slow? If you can't find the meaning, search for it on Google!"
I had to blink twice after hearing what he said. Did he just call me a 'slow'? I'm not slow!
"I didn't understand it, so I had to ask, but that doesn't mean I'm slow."
"Tss! I don't have time to listen to your explanation, so you'd better eat now before your food gets cold."
I just stared at him and then sighed.
"I said stop staring at me and eat your food."
"Oh... yeah." I nodded, forcing a smile before looking down at the lonely bowl full of plain oatmeal in front of me. Deep in my head, I wished the plain oatmeal turn into chocolate oatmeal... and that made me smile.
"Anyway, I want to clarify this situation to you, I mean the things I'm doing..." I stopped digging into my plain food and waited for his next words. "I just want to clear things up between us. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for the baby."
I gulped as his words echoed repeatedly in my head. 'I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for the baby'.
"Uhm... y-yeah, o-of course I know you're doing this for the... baby." I smiled, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.
"Doctor Mary told me that you should avoid eating too much sweets while you're pregnant and monitor your daily meals. The nutrients you get from the food you eat will help the baby's development."
"Ahh..." I murmured, nodding. "Is that what she told you, I mean the reason why she talked to you in the hospital?"
"Yes." He replied shortly and all I could do was nod... nod... and nod.
"I see." I shoved the first slice of banana in my mouth. "Actually, you don't really have to tell me this thing, I already know about it and I understand," I said, not looking at him but at the bowl of oatmeal which suddenly became delicious and interesting to eat.
I didn't hear him talk again, but I continued to eat the food he prepared for me. But deep inside me, I wanted to ask him if she explained to him if my emotions will also affect his child, but since he already turned to silent, I just decided to swallow that question together with the oatmeal and drank it down with milk.
Well, what should I expect? Of course, he'll only do this for his baby and not for me.