Capítulo 92: A Comedian and A Brain walks into a bar...
"The bartender looks up and says. 'What is this. A joke?'
The comedian grins. 'No. But I could turn it into one! Ever heard the one about the bartender who served a brain a drink?'
The brain interjects. 'Actually. Statistically speaking. The likelihood of a brain requiring a drink is quite low. Considering the lack of a digestive system.'
The bartender raises an eyebrow. 'Alright. I'll bite. What'll you two have?'
The comedian says. 'I'll take something light and funny. How about a beer?'
The brain replies. 'I'll have a highball. And while you're at it. Make sure the ice cubes are geometrically perfect. I like to keep things well-rounded.'
The bartender starts preparing the drinks. Shaking his head. 'So. What brings a comedian and a brain into my bar?'
The comedian winks. 'I needed some new material. And the brain here needed to unwind. Too much thinking. You know?'
The brain nods. 'Indeed. The neural pathways need occasional relaxation to maintain optimal function.'
The bartender chuckles. 'Well. Here's to a night of laughs and learning. Cheers!'
As they clink glasses. The comedian smiles. 'You know. This might be the start of a great new routine.'
The brain adds. 'And perhaps a fascinating case study on social interaction.'
The bartender just laughs. 'You two are quite the pair. Welcome to the bar!'"
The sound of buzzing was heard as a hand slammed down to a buzzer.
"Hm... Real!!"
"Wrong! The answer is Fake! This whole skit is A.I generated!" The announcer said revealing that he had indeed gotten the wrong answer.
"What?!"
"Courtesy of Chat.GPT. Looks like you need to catch up to the times, Kenny!"
"Don't give me nicknames you Power Ranger knockoff!"
This was indeed the battle between Kenjaku and Takaba. The greatest battle to have ever graced the world. A fight that decided who was the greatest comedian of all history.
Takaba smiled before throwing a cloak from seemingly nowhere covering Kenjaku's vision.
"Argh! What is this?!" Playing the part, Kenjaku expressed shock.
"This... this is Morphin' Time!"
Out of nowhere, 5 mechas conjoined transforming into Megazord who was looking down on Kenjaku.
"Don't you mean Morbin time?"
"Don't sweat the details." Takaba waived off his concerns.
"And don't you need 5 people to operate this thing."
"Do you mean these people?"
Out of nowhere, 4 other people already sporting the classic colors and costumes of the Power Rangers-
"Ahem- Mighty Rangers is the original name and sounds much better than 'Power Rangers'." The beautiful, comedic, and mighty Takaba said in his glorious, amazing, and charming voice that captures the attention of normal folks and celebrities due to his interesting personality. His costume changed into the 'Red' Ranger who was arguably- I mean certainly the greatest Power Rangers.
Kenjaku shook his head in disagreement. "No way in hell is 'Mighty Rangers' better than 'Power Rangers'. The Americans for once did the right thing to Japan by changing that name."
"There's no way you said that a Japanese man!" Takaba screamed out with patriotism and adorned himself with flags of the Empire of Japan.
"I'm pretty sure I'm Japanese too." Kenjaku muttered looking a bit confused at him.
*Boom!*
An explosion with a distinct boom words atop the explosion appeared behind them.
"Is it a bomb?" Kenjaku asked as he covered his eyes.
"No, it's an atomic bomb!" Takaba screamed out.
But as the mushroom cloud parted, the figure of a beast could distinctively be made. A beast that terrorized Japan for decades.
Kenjaku slapped his cheeks and opened his mouth wide. "Oh my-"
"Buddha! It's God-"
"Gojira!"
[Insert Classic Godzilla roar.]
"It's time to duel!!" Takaba screamed out and charged at him with his Mecha suit. "Mechas are better than Kaiju's."
"Worse take ever."
Before Takaba could do anything, he heard Godzilla charging his atomic breath.
"Uh oh."
"Uh oh is right." Kenjaku said now standing at the top of Gozilla's head.
"How did you get there?!"
Ignoring what Takaba had said, Kenjaku shouted. "Atomic Breath!"
A blue nuclear laser shot at Takaba's mecha destroying Megazore.
"NNOOO!!"
"Godzilla is better than Mechas." Kenjaku said with a smirk seeing his opponent fall out of the suit.
"Is it?" Turning around, Kenjaku saw a giant Takaba twirling his seemingly amazing and beautiful mustache that he had grown after countless years perfecting it which was also 100% natural and used no cream or any product to perfect it. His black hair is tied in a ponytail and a beard with a swirl that sticks out at the chin.
His lower body seemingly faded like smoke while he wore a sweater with the same happy smile on his chest.
Yes, he has now become the Genie.
"Godzilla is nothing compared to Alladin."
"Are you the Genie or Jafa-"
Kenjaku couldn't even finish before his Godzilla was karate chopped by Takaba destroying the once terrorizing monster of Japan in a single attack. Kenjaku having dodged the attack wiped the sweat from his head.
*Splash!*
"Huh?" Kenjaku looked down and realized he was now in the water. "Why am I in water?"
His question could not be answered as out of nowhere a jet ski appeared and slammed to the back of his head.
"Hey! Don't you know that you need to respect traffic laws! This isn't India!" Takaba said having now changed into a Hawaiian shirt.
"Ha! You got me good!"
They both smiled joyfully as they played with the water splashing water at each other. This didn't feel like a fight. No, it was more like two long-lost friends who had just met each other after a year of planning things and canceling plans one after the other.
'This is bad! If this goes on, I'll lose. For him, these are nothing but simulations. But the damage I'm taking is all too real! This isn't going to end like in a traditional fight. Until his love comedy is satisfied, this will never end.'
The stage was set, literally—an audience formed around them. Thousands of people were watching them like it was a theater.
"Let's do this, partner." Kenjaku said as he patted Takaba's back.
"... yeah."
["^_(9^ 1§{€2£¥7$}8%->4@*#'6~'...\!?04@*#'6~'...\!?0]
Arriving at the Lake Gosho Colony, Yuta laid low right where he thought Takaba and Kenjaku were. He was waiting for them to finish their battle. Although he didn't expect the battle to end in Takaba's favor, and even if it did, Takaba would likely not kill Kenjaku.
That was his moral code.
To not shed blood from his actions.
'So I need to be the one to end Kenjaku.'
That was what he had promised when he discovered that Kenjaku had taken over Geto's body. He didn't want to burden Gojo anymore. He was going to take off that guilt, he was going to be the guilty and no one else needed to feel that.
However, there was one thing he felt nervous about.
Where is Isao Arai?
He was nowhere to be found. The plan was for him to attack Sukuna after Kashimo arrived, but it seemed he was not there yet. Was he waiting for the right time to attack? Likely, Sukuna and Kenjaku are not aware of him as a person since he is supposed to be dead.
But something was nagging him like there was something wrong.
"Be cautious of him. I'm sure something is happening behind the scenes."
He recalled the words said to him.
"Hm?" His thoughts ended abruptly as he felt the familiar cursed energy of two people.
Kenjaku and Takaba.
Their fight had reached its climax and was about to end.
"That's all folks."
Takaba lay on his back and had his hands intertwined. With his eyes closed while wearing the traditional white kimono that dead people wear, he looked satisfied and said his last words to Kenjaku.
"Thanks."
Kenjaku looked at Takaba's corpse and smiled.
A genuine smile that was made out of happiness.
"You know... you were hilarious up there!"
Though his smile faltered, the next moment felt like an eternity.
His eyes widened as the cursed energy of someone he would call a brat shined like a beacon to him. The sound of a sword being unsheathed resonated throughout the forest while the sound of wind being ripped arrived right behind Kenjaku.
[Cursed Technique Amplification: AntiGratvity!]
Just as Kenjaku turned around and was prepared to attack with his technique, he found no one there.
'What?'
He was baffled at the speed Okkutsu displayed. Okkutsu was certainly faster than he was 2 months ago!
"Ah..."
He could feel it. The sound of something being cut off echoed in his mind. His vision slowly titled to the right until it completely changed and his head fell backwards.
Kenjkau had his neck cut off.
'How?! How did Okkutsu get here? I should have sensed him coming with his immense amount of cursed energy. So how did-'
The realization dawned on him.
The reason was so simple that it made Kenjaku stumped.
His head turned to Takaba, resting in peace with his eyes closed. He looked as though nothing had just happened.
'You... didn't want anyone to interrupt us.'
"Takaba doesn't kill people so I knew I had to be the one to do this." Kenjaku turned his eyes to Okkutsu who wiped the blood of his katana.
"Makes sense. It's a shame to bow out before I finish... but my will... WILL BE PASSED ON!"
Black smoke started coming out of Geto's headless body.
"Rika!!" Yuta shouted calling Rika out.
With the loss of Kenjaku's control, the cursed spirits dwelling inside the body rampaged. They had all fully manifested and without a master, they attacked everything within their sights.
Yuta was forced to attack the cursed spirits as he worried that they may go out and attack civilians who were unaware of everything happening.
Using that chance, Kenjaku used the little remaining control over his technique and called them to pull his head out.
"It seems Jujutsu High made the same mistake two years in a row. They never seem to make sure to completely destroy their enemies' bodies." Kenjaku mocked Yuta.
"!" Seeing Kenjaku escaping, Yuta left everything to Rika and ran straight to Kenjaku.
With his immense cursed energy, Yuta was quickly able to get rid of the fodder-cursed spirits. They were nothing in his eyes.
"It seems like I thought too lowly of you. I should have focused more attention on you, Okkutsu Yuta." Kenjaku smiled maliciously, even if he were to die.
His plan will be fulfilled.
"Kogane."
Kogane appeared before Kenjaku. "Yes!"
"Add a new rule."
Hearing the exchange Yuta quickened his pace and readied his katana.
He was just about to close the gap until something happened. His instincts told him to dodge something, but he didn't know from where.
Was Kenjaku about to attack him?
Or... was there something else happening?
His eyes opened wide as he realized the threat.
Immediately turning around, Yuta brought out his cursed energy to defend himself and guarded with his sword.
Rika knowing the danger Yuta was in wanted to go defend him but he was too far away from her. She was dealing with the rampaging cursed spirits, after all.
She was too late to help him.
As Yuta prepared to attack, he looked at the figure with his fist readied. The familiar figure was recognized by him. He knew who this was, but he hadn't expected it at all.
"I-"
Before he could even talk with the anonymous person, the opponent hit Yuta with their full strength.
[Black Flash!]
The sparks of Red and Black flowed throughout the forest destroying and uprooting trees and land. The strike sent Yuta back crashing him into multiple trees before stopping and forcing him to cough blood out of his mouth.
"Don't hurt Yuta!!" Rika came screaming thrashing around and running at them like a crashed creature.
"Haa!" The figure breathed out feeling the sense of excitement coursing through their veins caused by the [Black Flash].
They were in the zone.
But they wanted more.
"DIE!!" Rika yelled out as she brought both hands together and smashed down at the outsider.
*BOOM!*
The attack caused an explosion sending debris and dirt in the air. The ground was cracked under the pressure from the attack.
Yet the unknown person had caught the attack with his palm.
"Huh?!" Rika yelped out in surprise yet what greeted her was an upper-cut to the face.
[Black Flash!]
"Gahh!"
The strike chipped the jaw right off the shikigami's face sending it reeling back in pain.
But they weren't done as they stood firmly to the ground and sent a kick to Rika's chest sending it flying crashing through multiple trees where Yuta was.
Kenjaku having seen the exchange almost had his eyes popping out of his sockets.
"Kogane, make Fushiguro Megumi hold the power to invoke the merger between Tengen and-"
Kenjaku hurriedly tried to give the rights to the merger to Sukuna but he was stopped. In an instant, the stranger closed the distance between them ignoring the cursed spirits, and closed his mouth.
'You!'
"Don't look so baffled, Kenjaku. Start introducing yourself. After all, this is the first time we've met." The outsider tightened his grip on his head making Kenjaku flinch.
"I have a grudge against you, but I'm willing to look past it. Because ultimately, I have a stronger grudge against someone." The tone almost sounded polite.
It was too polite. Especially considering that Kenjaku recognized who this was. After everything he has done to them, he feels off seeing them as too polite.
But the next words they uttered were completely different. Their voice filled with venom, malice, and hate. An unbelievable hatred that was rooted deep within their soul. As if their entire existence was made to do what they were about to say.
Their words were.
"Sukuna, I will kill him."
So calm, yet filled with anger.
They vowed to do this.
To the world.
And to their one and only family.
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{AN: Chaotic, this chapter is.}
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