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Yo I like the story of shirou but my only concern is that most of the first few chapters is about Bell like 3/4 of the chapter is Bell and the remaining is shirou. So is Bell the mc or shirou?
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personnaly i love your story and is normal if you dont detourn about the original novel is probably because you love it like that, and is a good start just continue ^^
Man your story is tiring. I don't want to read about bell or what he thought or what everyone thinks about him. I don't want to read about the original story line. I want a fan fiction with shirou as main mc. At this point I might as well read the original light novel. Its attest not confused about who is the mc
After reading this man i no longer have any idea weather you are trying to copy the original story make a fanfic or copy pasting the orignal here, its like the conversation goes on and your Protagonist is right nearby people talk to Bell and act like he doesn't exist, overall the story doesnt make sense, no offense man I get it u had a good idea about the whole thing but u just most probably were not able to write it down, so heres my advice take your time and then write, atleast this way you would be able to write down what your thinking and not what came out, **. Made the same mistake here.