---
I have to purposely slow down my work ethic. If I make too many innovations all at once it would give me less time here in the research center. I have to say that purposely making wrong designs is harder than you'd think. I think I confused the other researchers when I drew a giant robot and they attempted to actually build one.
To be fair, the blueprint I haphazardly drew up was very detailed. If there's one thing I've learned about mecha its that adding all sorts of gears, joints and connections make them look more feasible. It'd be cool if we really COULD build a Mortar Headd or something though.
Shit, what if I actually made a giant robot? That'd be fucking awesome! I imagine riding up to the Council in a glorious Knight of Gold and crushing them all. Then I can take Will as my Fatima and we would escape this world to explore the glories of space together...my fantasies are getting too detailed.
I shook my head and slapped my bricks lightly. Focus. No time for day dreaming right now. Since Bled is an agent as well as my guard he's able to convince the other guard to leave me to him, I'm well behaved so its not like I need to be watched by two of them ALL the time.
This means I can wander around the building with Bled without worry. I have so many rooms I want to check out. Bled isn't...bad company, even if I can't look at him without getting a headache.
I asked him about the files on deceased shapes marked as -Processed- and he didn't know what that meant either. I went back to the Records room to read more, Bled wanted to help but he's not the best at reading.
I told him to keep a look out if anyone was coming and settled down to read through the files. I'm sure of it now, dead shapes are marked -Processed- with a red stamp. Is that a way of acknowledging their passing? I found it in all the shapes. Not just triangles. Even the circles had them. So this was normal. But also a secret since Bled didn't know what it meant.
I put the files back and head out to check the other rooms. Waste Disposal sounded interesting. Is it like recycling? Or maybe the Agriculture research. I haven't seen any rainclouds or other weather patterns in this world so it would be cool to see how farming works. I only knew the basics of farming in this world. School didn't really cover it. I knew they used outdoor farms and that it involved soil, but that's about it.
The Waste Disposal room had some shapes standing around outside looking through papers so I couldn't sneak in. Guess its the Agriculture room for me.
Unfortunately one of the researchers from my room, Mechanical Engineering, found us in the hall and asked what the blueprint I drew was actually for. "Well its just an...idea for a...farming tool..." I make up off the top of my head.
"Farming? But what about these strange arms?"
"For picking the harvest."
"What about this large contraption underneath?"
"Erm- for tilling the ground!"
"What about this thing on the top labeled 'Death Canon'?"
"....its for keeping wild animals away from the crops...?"
The Mechanical Scientist squints at me suspiciously. I smile innocently.
"Yeah. That makes sense. Pesky beasts keep trampling the fields with their points. This is brilliant! But your diagrams aren't very well explained. Mind coming back in and working out the details?"
"Sure." I resolve myself to several hours of bullshitting.
---
I am surprisingly good at bullshitting.
The terrible sketch I made was re-worked multiple times into an actual farming tool. Not sure how to build it. It'll be a long term project for our group.
On the other hand, production of scooters were going along great. I even got the concept for wagons made, examined and approved by the higher ups. Good news, their approval of me was going up. Bad news, they still refused my request to see my family.
At least I got the 'OK' to be allowed to live in my old house, so I could send Will letters again. With my new scooter I could commute to work easily so they were alright with me not living in the inner city.
I still have a bit of free time to myself, which I spent talking to the agent in the Sanitation department (Purple) about what they do and what they know about the Waste Disposal department.
"Well generally we just gather up the trash from all the public trashcans in the city and dump them off into a chute near the Research Center. The Waste Disposal guys are actually Higher shapes. I think they take the waste for making fertilizer or something since I've seen them together with the guys from the Agriculture department."
"Is there really enough trash for that?"
"There are in other parts of the city."
"Huh. Seems like a waste if they throw out stuff."
"It is. But some people just don't care. The real hard work is sweeping."
"Sweeping?"
"Lots of Carbon dust starts building up over time. So we have to sweep the whole city every cycle. At least we have a lot of workers. Also that new thing you made will make our jobs much easier, so thanks."
It was one of the few times anyone in this world has ever shown me gratitude. I felt my bricks burn as I flushed a bright orange color. "O-oh yeah? Well it isn't all THAT impressive...just a thing I built because I thought of it..."
"That 'scooter' thing, and that weird sheet you were wearing that one time, did you invent that too?"
"Well I DID make it..." I felt all warm and tingly. It was a strange feeling, but I was...happy?
He laughed. "It seriously startled me when you just came up from the ground like that. Its kind of amazing when I think about it. I seriously didn't see you at all."
Purple leans in close and I'm suddenly struck by what a nice color he is. Its a deep purple with the barest hint of red and it was quite pretty. Nothing at all like Bled.
"We could definitely use things like that for our...'assignments' you know? If you could make more I'm sure we'd be able to gather more intel and sneak into restricted areas."
"That s-sounds like something I can do. If you really think it would help the cause..." I found my gaze trailing along the straight lines of his bricks. They were evenly spaced and he was perfectly symmetrical from the front.
"Um...are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Yup. Fine!" I squeak. What's wrong with me?
"Well I have to go now, more stuff to clean. See you some other time then? You're a pretty fun guy to talk to."
"Of course!" I say quickly. My bricks were warm and I felt a little light headed. Is this? Oh no. No way.
As soon as he was out of earshot I sat down on the park bench and groaned. Oh my god. I have a crush on him. Just because he thanked me and told me that the stuff I made was pretty cool. I cannot believe this is happening to me. I get a fricking crush on the garbage man just because he said a few nice things to me.
I've had stupid crushes before. There was one time when I was playing in a park as a child and a boy comes up to play with me. I didn't even know his name but he was fun to play with and he was polite. Apparently that was all it took. I never saw him again after that day. We were complete strangers.
It happened a lot to me when I was growing up. Just getting crushes on anyone who showed me any amount of attention or kindness. There was a girl I hung out with after school in elementary, one of my cousins, a boy in my Drama class during middle school, a girl I shared classes with during high school...
None of those crushes ever went anywhere and they just faded after a while. Even back then I just never even considered doing anything about my feelings. I've watched so many movies and shows about falling in love and dating but I just never felt 'right' about actually getting together with anyone. The feelings go away eventually anyway so I know it can't have been love.
The problem remained that I had just gotten a crush on a freaking triangle. Of all things. Ugh. Was I really THAT starved for affection that I latch onto the first guy who willingly talks to me? Apparently yes. I glare down at my still orange bricks and groan. Fuck my life.
---
Scooters were now a thing. They were still limited to only the shapes who had jobs requiring them to travel a lot, mail service, trash collecting, food delivery and so on, but it was becoming more common to see people riding around as they do their jobs.
The completed wagon designs were even attached to the back of modified scooters to vastly increase the amount of stuff they can carry. Efficiency was way up, they can get more done in less time and the Council was incredibly pleased. I was essentially told 'The effort we put in to educate you was not completely worthless.' Which kinda killed any happy feelings I had toward my accomplishments.
Did they have to be condescending asshats even when complimenting me? The fact that they assume they were responsible for my own original ideas really ticked me off. Whether or not they put me through a childhood of intense study wouldn't have effected my ability to make innovation. I already knew this stuff. I watch Myth Busters and How it's Made!
They also continue to refuse my requests to see my family. Their most recent response to my inquiry was 'Stop trying to associate with your lowborn family. You are better than them. They will never amount to anything whereas you are proving the superiority of the Circles. Even with your lowborn body, your inner greatness as a Circle is clear. Go get Paired and produce more superior offspring.'
I crumpled the letter and ate it.
Fuck them.
---
I chat with Purple now and then. He's nice to talk to but we don't really have a lot of shared interests. I can't rant to him about how the Violinist of Hamelin anime completely disregarded the manga or how Aigis is BEST GIRL and I will literally fight anyone who thinks otherwise.
I do get to question him about what he does for the Rebellion though. It's interesting enough. The Sanitation department generally gets the dirty jobs (I may have laughed a bit too much because I am pun-trash) for disposing of the dead bodies that the other agents 'take care' of.
It's kinda scary to think that we have actual assassins in this group but also pretty cool. Like a spy movie. This also means that dead bodies are being used as fertilizer. That is a little creepy but not all that strange if I really think about it.
I ask if anyone ever investigates the murders but Purple assures me that without a body there's no fuss. They haven't killed anyone too high in the hierarchy so a few shapes just...mysteriously vanishing doesn't raise any flags. Unless they're under special observation the Council doesn't care. And the people they stage 'accidents' for are just assumed to be accidents. They have a lot of practice in hiding their tracks.
Also, the investigation teams in this world are all idiots. The idea of slow methodically planned murders doesn't really occur to most of our populace. So unless someone literally sees a shape commit murder right in front of them there is no suspicion.
I asked how they thought up the idea to commit murder to begin with. Purple says that a long, long time ago there was an Unnatural, an equilateral triangle with 3 slots, all square in shape, who got so fed up with her Square husband constantly impregnating her that she dropped a refrigerator on him. When the authorities questioned her about it, she claimed it was an accident and they...just accepted her answer and let her go. There's no way a mother of 9 would kill her own husband after all.
She was so astounded by this fact that she began teaching other unhappy Triangles about the concept of staging 'accidents' to be rid them of unwanted partners. The idea spread and those unhappy triangles became the basis for the now long reaching underground rebellion.
Dude. That's fucking metal as shit.
Also really fucked up. Will I be expected to do that too? I don't know if I can. I told Purple that I don't feel right about actually killing anyone and he was surprisingly comforting about it. "Murder is not for everyone. I've never killed anyone either, though I have been tasked with transporting the bodies."
"I don't even WANT to be paired with anyone. I don't...like the idea of Clicking. It just seems...weird."
"What's so weird about it? You're almost an adult-" Purple brushes a hand along my side as if measuring my length. I shiver at the sensation. "Most triangles reach adulthood at 30 centimeters. You're what? 25 and a half?"
"S-something like that..." I flush and fidget as his hand presses against my bricks.
"Generally you would already be full sized by now. You're an Unnatural right? I heard that the more sides you are, the more food you need. You're a Triangle but your insides are round so maybe you're just not eating enough?"
"Is THAT why I'm always hungry?!" I gasp at him. You think one of the MANY doctors I've been to would have told me so. I remember growing up with my parents and just being hungry all the time. They didn't have the money to get more food.
Hell, I've been eating much better since living on my own despite not cooking anything. The 'milk' helped a lot. It was more expensive than just plain vegetables but the sheer amount of nutrients in it more than made up for it. I chug a carton a day and I still feel peckish. I've tried chugging two but it makes my bricks feel bloated and strange. I guess I was over loading myself with too much stuff at once.
Fuck am I just destined to always be tiny?! I was a little over 4'10"-ish at the age of 27 in my first life. A combination of tiny Asian genetics and malnutrition as a young child. Both my younger sisters were taller than me because my parents had a better idea of what is healthy to feed them. I am so SICK of being the short one!
"Have you been...starving yourself?" Purple asked incredulously.
"Not on purpose! I'm eating more now! My parents just couldn't afford so much food for both me and my brother..."
He pats me on the back. "Hey it's fine. So you're not fully grown, you're eating more now right? I'm sure you'll reach adulthood soon enough."
I pouted even as I felt all warm and fuzzy from his concern for me. "So...are you paired?" I asked.
"Ah...no actually. I'm a Blank." He says somewhat sadly.
Blanks are the Shapes that never develop either a Slot or Piece. In other words, they had no physical sex and were unable to have children. Being a Blank was seen as an unfortunate defect. Blanks would get the lower class and less desirable jobs. They didn't have families to support anyway so there wasn't a need to give them important and well paying jobs.
Blanks showed up in all Shapes from Triangles all the way to the Circles. While Blank Triangles were more or less just seen as normal, a Blank Circle was considered a tragedy. There were already very few Circles in our population, they had the longest gestation period for pregnancies and are so fragile they require constant care to ensure survival after birth. So any Circle that couldn't breed was the end of a bloodline. I actually felt sorry for Blank Circles.
Blank Triangles can still get jobs and be treated more or less normally by society. Blank Circles are forced to go through life pitied by everyone around them and their parents would immediately attempt to produce a proper heir. The Blank child would still be pampered but their only purpose is to just exist and look pretty.
That sounds like an awful way to live.
This time it was my turn to comfort Purple. "Well It's not ALL bad. Even if you're Blank...at least you've got friends right?"
He chuckles a little. "I guess, but I've always wanted to have a child."
"Can't you adopt a kid?"
"I can't get the paperwork for it." Purple says sadly. I'm not sure what to say.
"Is that why you joined the Rebellion?" I said at last, quietly.
He's quiet for a bit. I can't read his expression. "I didn't join because of that. My father was a member and I was sworn in because of it. But...whether or not this rebellion succeeds, nothing can change the fact that I'm a Blank."
I really didn't know what to say. I stepped closer and hesitantly gave him a hug. He stiffens for a bit before hugging me back lightly. It was nice, but sad. The only people I've hugged in this life are Orange and Will. Purple as well now. I wonder if I can really do this. The rebels have been around for a long time now but don't seem to be anywhere close to actually overthrowing the system.
Can I make a difference? Can I really do anything to help further their goals? Can I help this poor sad man, who suffers in a way that cannot be fixed? I don't know what to do. I really don't.
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