Capítulo 4: Chapter 4: Let Him Go.
*Lena*
I had spent the past five years running, so much so that I had become extremely good at it. I’d spent most of the night trying to blend into the crowd, but for some reason, the moment I saw him dancing with Daisy, I couldn’t help but drift toward him.
I didn’t know why I did that. I just did. I wanted him to notice me, to see me. Only me. But watching him dance with her in that sinful red dress pulled at every primal instinct within me. I regretted my actions soon enough. I’d only meant to hover, just close enough to ensure they weren’t falling in love. I failed to factor in the fact that Eason wasn’t the best of dancers.
Sprawled on the floor amidst the shattered crystal and spilled champagne, I found myself drowning in his gaze. His warm brown eyes were wide with surprise as we stared at each other for a moment too long.
I had to leave.
Once in the taxi, I pulled off my silver mask. My fingers trembling while I tugged at the loose knot. With a shaky exhale, I yanked off the leather gloves, dropping them haphazardly onto the worn out seat cushion. I fought to keep my emotions at bay, but I was no match for what was bubbling inside me. My vision blurred as hot tears welled, spilling down my reddened cheeks.
I stared out the window, haunted by vivid memories - his crooked smile, the way his brow furrowed when he was deep in thought, the sound of his laughter. I hadn’t expected to ever see him again, and now that he was here, I couldn’t figure out how I really felt.
Part of me longed to run to him, to feel the comforting warmth of his embrace. But another part, the rational side, knew seeing him would only reopen wounds I’d worked so hard to heal.
The cab driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror, brow creased with concern. “Ma’am, are you alright?”
My eyes met gray hair and a kind warm smile. It was only then that I realized that I hadn’t even bothered to look at who was driving me home. I hastily retrieved a glove, wiping viciously at my tears. “Y-yes, I’m fine. Just... memories, that’s all.” I took a shaky breath. “Can you take me to 248 Redwood Lane?”
The driver nodded, staring at me in concern for one more moment before fully focusing on the drive. Now, left alone with my thoughts, even though I knew it was a bad idea and that I should put the thoughts away, my mind still traveled back to the party.
It traveled to the moment I tried to step around Eason and Daisy's dancing figures, hoping to get a better, closer look at him without him seeing me. I was so distracted by seeing how good his newly grown beard looked in person that I didn’t notice when he stepped to the side, pushing me backward.
The impact sent me reeling, crashing into a nearby waiter carrying a tray of champagne flutes. Not having anything to fall back on, I landed on the floor, the spilled golden liquid soaking my dress. Even as I sat there, shards of glass scattered around me, my focus was solely on the man standing in front of me, his brow furrowed in the exact same way I remembered.
Our eyes locked, and for a breathless moment, time stood still. I searched his face, drinking in the familiar features - the strong jawline, the warm brown eyes, the smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. He was just a few feet away from me, and yet it felt like he was a thousand worlds away.
Just as Eason began to reach out, another figure stopped beside me, and I saw a familiar hand stretch out toward me.
“Here, let me help you,” Jace said. I took his hand instantly, but my eyes remained glued to Eason, drinking in every detail hungrily. How was it possible that I was face-to-face with the one person I thought I’d never see again? I kept my eyes trained on Eason, completely oblivious to Jace’s presence.
Was this some cruel twist of fate? Had the universe conspired to place us in each other’s paths once more, just when I thought I had finally found the strength to move on?
“Ma’am?”
I blinked, momentarily disoriented, realizing I had been so consumed by the memory of Eason that I had lost all sense of time and space. I looked out the window and sure enough, we were in front of my house. I wanted to laugh at myself.
“Thank you,” I muttered, reaching into my purse and pulling out bills I was certain were more than the value of the trip. But I handed it to him without any question. Gathering my things, I stepped out of the vehicle, my mind still reeling with the events of the night in a hazy blur.
I trudged through the front door. To my surprise, Zara was waiting for me, her brow creased with concern. Yet I barely registered her presence, my gaze unfocused as I stumbled past her and into the house.
“Lena? Lena, what happened? Are you alright?” Zara’s voice was laced with worry, a tone I had grown accustomed to over the years. But her words hardly penetrated the fog enveloping my senses.
“I’m fine,” I mumbled, the automatic response slipping past my lips. I didn’t understand what was going through my head or even how to explain it to Zara. I craved to be alone, to waste away with my thoughts. But here Zara was, on a night I hadn’t expected her to be.
Her eyes widened as she took in my disheveled appearance, sharp gaze traveling down my soaked dress. “What happened?”
“I’m fine,” I repeated, leaning against the wall. I wondered what Eason would have done after I left. Would he have returned to wherever he was staying to sulk? Would he search for me even harder? Or would he return into the waiting arms of Daisy and her generous bosom.
“What is that?” Zara asked, pointing at my ankle.
I looked down, hiking up my dress, and sure enough, there was a purple bruise around my ankle. “I’m fine,” I said again, hoping she would drop it.
Zara reached out, gently grasping my elbow. “You’re not fine, Lena. What’s going on?” Her tone was insistent, refusing to let me retreat into my own thoughts.
I flinched at her touch, but ultimately allowed her to guide me to the sofa. As I sank down, the events of the evening came rushing back - the masquerade ball, my champagne-soaked dress, the shattering of glass... and Eason. His face, so achingly familiar, had burned itself into my memory.
When would I be free of him? When would I finally be free of this suffocating feeling clawing at my chest.
“I saw him, Zara,” I whispered, my gaze finally locking with hers. “I saw Eason, and I... I ran.”
Zara’s eyes widened in shock. “I thought you were over him. Why did you run?”
I shook my head, the words catching in my throat. “I don’t know. I just... I couldn’t face him, not after all this time.” I sighed, wincing as the movement jostled my sprained ankle. "It doesn't matter now. It's in the past."
Zara reached out, gently examining my injury. “Let me help you with that,” she murmured, but I waved her off.
“Don’t bother. It’ll heal soon enough.” I leaned back, my thoughts once again consumed by the memory of Eason’s piercing gaze. “I never thought I’d see him again, Zara. And now that I have…” I trailed off, the weight of it all threatening to overwhelm me.
“Why did you run?” Zara asked again, obviously not satisfied by my previous answer.
“I was afraid, Zara,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “Seeing Eason again... it’s brought up feelings I thought I had buried long ago. I wasn’t ready to deal with it, I didn’t think that I could.”
Zara’s brow furrowed as she looked at me thoughtfully. “To be afraid of him is to still care about him, Lena.”
I knew that. Of course I knew that. Why else did I make such a fool of myself tonight? I still cared, just as much as I did five years ago.
I let out a bitter chuckle. “That’s just it - I do still care. But it can’t go anywhere, don't you see?” I shook my head. “What happened tonight was a fluke, just the world playing games with me. It’s simply not possible for Eason and I to rekindle anything.”
And now that he knew where I was, where to find me, I couldn’t stay here any longer. I couldn’t bear the thought of ever hurting him. If that happened, then these five years would have been for nothing.
Zara opened her mouth, but I cut her off, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I have to leave, Zara. I have to get out of here, away from this place, away from him.” I pushed myself up from the sofa, barely feeling the dull ache in my ankle. It was almost fully healed.
“Leave? Lena, you can’t just up and leave! What about your job, your house?” Zara’s eyes were wide with concern as she followed me down the hallway toward my bedroom.
I paused at the threshold, taking in the familiar surroundings - the plush, oversized armchair tucked into the corner, the built-in bookshelves lining the walls, the framed photographs that told the story of my life since i’d moved to this quaint town. I’d tried my best to make it look like my previous room, but since I basically left with nothing, it didn’t exactly work out.
“I’ll figure it out,” I murmured, more to myself than to Zara. “I have to. I can’t stay here, not after seeing him again.” Without another word, I hurried to my closet. Pulling out a suitcase, I haphazardly tossed in a few changes of clothes.
Zara hovered nearby, her expression a mixture of concern and confusion. “Lena, please, think this through. You can’t just run away from your life everytime something goes wrong!”
But I could. I had to. After all, running was what I did best. I ignored Zara’s protests, ignored every form of logic she tried to throw my way.
In my haphazard packing frenzy, sense had abandoned me. All I could focus on was the overwhelming need to escape - to put as much distance between myself and Eason as humanly possible.
“Lena, listen to me, please,” Zara’s further pleas for reason fell on deaf ears as I single-mindedly stuffed clothes into the suitcase.
The shrill ringing of my phone pierced the tense silence. Glancing down, I felt a jolt of panic as I saw Sylvie’s name flashing across the screen. I contemplated not picking up. I wanted a clean break and I feared that Sylvie would give me a reason to stay.
Still, I answered hesitantly.
“Lena, thank goodness I reached you!” Sylvie’s voice was laced with urgency, just as I expected. “There’s an important matter I need to discuss with you - I need you to come into the office first thing tomorrow morning.”
I opened my mouth to protest, to make some excuse about needing time off, but the words died on my lips. This could be my chance - my opportunity to quit on my own terms, to sever the last remaining tie to this life I so desperately wanted to leave behind.
“Okay, Sylvie. I’ll be there,” I heard myself say, my voice sounding foreign even to my own ears.
‘Take the words back,’ my subconscious screamed at me. But for some reason, I kept quiet, the hand that was on my luggage falling limply on my side.
“Wonderful. This is... well, it’s a bit complicated, but I’ll explain everything in person. See you tomorrow, Lena.”
As the line went dead, I turned to face Zara. “I’m not running away,” I murmured. But, before she could break into a victory dance, I quickly added, “Yet.”
“I’m going to quit my job tomorrow. Then I’ll be free to do whatever I need to, including... including never seeing Eason again.”
Zara’s eyes widened, her mouth opening and closing as she searched for the right words. But I didn’t give her a chance to respond. Snapping the suitcase shut, I strode purposefully toward the door.
Eason didn’t know it yet, but I was doing all this for him. Just for him.
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