[Shout out to michael, TheFuzzySamurai, Apathetic Loner, Hyuga Tobirama, and DreuxX!]
Hollywood What If Chapter 55
The official filming of The Hangover started.
At the Caesars Palace, dozens of reporters started taking pictures for the press conference of The Hangover.
Producer Enrico Pusi and Kazir Grey faced the cameras and let the reporters ask them bunches of questions.
Of course, the Producer and Director had to answer them the best as they could.
Thankfully, most of the questions were mild. Someone actually tried to ask about Kazir's past relationship but Kazir answered it well.
"As long as it's not related to The Hangover, I will not answer it."
"Director Grey, is it true that Ed Helms tried to ask for a salary of 5 million dollars."
"That's right."
There was no reason to keep it a secret. Most people in the circle knew what happened.
These reporters were under Time Warner. Time Warner was one of the media giants in the world. So Warner Bros had a strong influence with the backing of Time Warner.
Kazir understood that some of the reporters' questions were for the purpose of attracting attention.
Such as 'Kazir's new love life' or 'Friction between the Napoleon Dynamite actor and Director.'
These articles would be published by the paparazzi. As long as it could help the movie to attract attention, then everything was fine.
Kazir was already informed about the questions that might be asked.
'Of course, I don't have any problem with Ed Helms. He is a hard-working person. This is nothing but publicity.'
Publicity was the main factor in having a successful movie. So film companies would invest so much money just to advertise their movies. As long as the movie was worth it, companies would invest in publicity.
The best example might be the last year's Batman Forever... The overall publicity cost of the movie was $100 million.
With the $100 million production cost plus $100 million publicity... The movie was a clear disappointment.
'However, I heard that the videotapes are selling well. Many kids are dreaming to become like Superman or Batman.'
With the invention of VCR and VHS player, the Hollywood industry gained power and their profits every year were astronomical. So Warner Bros decided to make another Batman movie next two years.
'Batman and Robin... That's right, the infamous Batman suit with nipples.'
Many people said that Batman's suit was ugly because of the nipples, which was right to be honest.
Clearly one of the reasons why Warner Bros kept the Batman series hidden for almost ten years.
'If not for Christopher Nolan, Batman might be forever stayed in their film libraries.'
The press conference ended and the reporters dispersed.
Kazir and the crew started their shooting.
"Scene 36: The Elevator. Lights, Camera, Action."
The one who was holding the clapperboard was Fremont Smith.
-------
With the four actors inside the elevator(three adult men and a baby), the camera started rolling.
"... Why can't we remember a Goddamn thing last night."
Stu(Ed Helms) said while putting a towel on his mouth. He was confused about why he was missing a tooth.
"Because, obviously we had a great fucking time."
Phil(Bradley Cooper) replied, leaning against the wall.
"Why don't you stop worrying for just one minute?" Phil slightly raised his voice.
"I don't Phil, maybe because I'm missing a tooth. Or maybe, it's because we have a tiger in our hotel room. Oh, wait, wait, wait, I know! Maybe because we found a baby in our room! A human baby! That's it. That's it. It's because we found a fucking baby!"
"I don't think you should curse around the child."
Alan(Jack Black) faced Stu. Alan was wearing a baby carrier and the child was on his chest.
"Really? I don't think you should be around a child."
The elevator opened.
------
"Cut! Ten minutes rest. Let's reshoot this scene. Jane, call your team and retouched their makeup."
"Okay."
Kazir could say that the first scene was good.
"How's the baby?"
"He's cute... Although I felt like he peed on me."
Jack Black bitterly smiled as he sat down. That's right, the baby that he was holding was a real baby.
For a close-up scene, it was impossible to use a prop(fake baby).
"I'm sorry about that."
The mother apologized and held her child. She was a friend of Producer Enrico Pusi. They audition after hearing that the crew needed a baby.
"Hush, hush, baby~"
"Hehe~"
Because of the giggling of the baby, the atmosphere was calming.
"Ed, I want you to deliver your line in a more exhausted way in the first half. Although you still have to raise your voice at the latter."
Kazir approached Ed Helms who was currently receiving a makeup.
"I understand Director."
Ever since they cooperated in Napoleon Dynamite, Ed Helms realized that Kazir took importance in line deliveries. The dialogues should be taken seriously.
Then, Kazir nodded at Bradley Cooper.
"Keep yourself in good condition."
"Thank you, Director."
In the crew, Bradley Cooper and Jack Black were part of the newcomers. They didn't have any idea of how Kazir used his position.
Was he a tyrant? A pacifist? Or a silent madman?
Because Jack Black and Bradley Cooper were the protagonists, they didn't want to cause trouble on the set. So they were doing their job well.
Once the ten minute break was over, Kazir started the shooting again.
Unfortunately, a few seconds after the camera began rolling, the baby started crying and everyone was caught off guard.
"Cut..."
Kazir sighed. He already expected this.
He knew this was going to happen, so he decided to shoot all of the scenes in which the child was part of within three days.
"... Ten minutes rest."
He muttered after the first NG.
It was impossible to talk to a baby. Perhaps the only one who could do that was the mother.
[Author's Note: I'm at the funeral right now, I'll stay here for a week and my update schedule might be inconsistent. Still, I will update everyday.]
Hollywood What If Chapter 56
"Sir. The filming of The Hangover has started today."
"Thank you, Nancy."
Tom Rothman nodded after Nancy Utley told him about the news.
Because Napoleon Dynamite was distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures, Tom Rothman wanted to know the related news about Kazir's next movie.
Warner Bros and 20th Century Fox received the script of The Hangover at the same time. Unfortunately, Warner Bros acquired the movie because of obvious circumstances.
"Nancy, do you know the reason why we didn't fight for The Hangover?"
"Isn't it because of the vulgar theme of the movie? The Hangover has a strong chance to be rated R-Rated and it might not be profitable."
"That's right. Unlike Napoleon Dynamite which has a simple and lighthearted theme, The Hangover has so many profanities. A group of friends went to Las Vegas. After taking drugs, they forgot what they did and one of them was missing."
It was the short summary of The Hangover.
"To be honest, I have this feeling that Kazir can make it successful. Unfortunately, our offer didn't attract his attention."
Kazir was asking for more and they could not negotiate. It was a natural reaction to stop the negotiation.
So Tom Rothman hoped that Kazir's movie would be a disappointment. He hoped that The Hangover would have a bad reception.
Because if the movie became successful...
"How's the script for Napoleon Dynamite II?"
The success of Napoleon Dynamite was still ongoing. So far, the worldwide box office already surpassed $300 million.
The movie would be dropped from the North American cinemas but its global screening would last for another three to four months.
Tom Rothman sighed after remembering that Kazir would receive a 5% North American box office share.
'I should have settled with revenue share instead. At least it's much smaller than 7 million dollars.'
The North American box office of Napoleon Dynamite was $140 million. Naturally, 5% of that amount would go to Kazir.
In fact, Salvatore kept urging Fox Searchlight Pictures to settle the account.
"The creation of the script is halfway done."
After Kazir sold the copyrights of Napoleon Dynamite to Fox Searchlight Pictures, the company sent two writers to oversee the creation of the script.
Kazir already gave the general plot of the movie and he let the writers turn it into a complete script.
Of course, Kazir attended the script writing to make sure that the script would turn out great. Napoleon Dynamite had a very important part in his heart.
"That's good to hear... Since Ed Helms is still filming the movie, don't contact him about the sequel of Napoleon Dynamite for now. No, I advise you to wait for The Hangover's release week before contacting them."
Ed Helms' salary in Napoleon Dynamite was very small.
But his salary in The Hangover was a whopping $1.7 million.
For a small-time actor to a millionaire actor. That was the effect of starring in a successful movie.
'As a businessman, I don't want to give Ed Helms more than a million. If The Hangover flops, then Ed Helms' salary would naturally decrease, and so is Kazir's.'
That was one of the reasons why Tom Rothman hoped that The Hangover would be a disaster.
'I can invite Kazir to direct Napoleon Dynamite II once that happened.'
Everything depends on the result of The Hangover.
If The Hangover turned well, then Fox Searchlight Pictures had to adjust its budget for Napoleon Dynamite II.
But if The Hangover turned bad, then Fox Searchlight Pictures would squeeze Kazir and Ed for all their worth.
"Hm, keep your eyes on The Hangover. Make sure to contact Kazir regarding Napoleon Dynamite II... And settle the account. We don't want Kazir to be angry at us."
Unlike the actors, Kazir's position as a director was far heavy. As long as he had strong profitability, 20th Century Fox would cooperate with him.
"Yes sir."
Tom Rothman was left alone in his office. He was actually having migraine these days because of a certain project.
"Damn that James Cameron, I can't believe that he is asking for something outrageous! He wants to make a real ship!"
The investors in James Cameron's project were 20th Century Fox and Paramount. The two film companies were currently gritting their teeth because of James Cameron's wasteful idea.
However, Tom Rothman couldn't deny that James Cameron was a talented director.
Three of his movies were distributed by 20th Century Fox and they were all successful.
Aliens.
The Abyss.
True Lies.
Unfortunately, the copyrights of The Terminator were held by Orion Pictures. This movie franchise was very profitable.
"Kazir Grey... Please make your movie bad so that we can cooperate again. I believe your talent is in making wholesome comedies, not vulgar ones."
Tom Rothman sighed. His job as a CEO of a film company was exhausting. But the rewards were satisfying as well.
His boss, Rupert Murdoch, contacted him and gave him rewards after the success of Napoleon Dynamite.
......
...
...
"What do you mean that I can't get money from Kazir? I'm his wife!"
Cassandra glared at her lawyer after learning that it was impossible to get money from her now rich ex-husband.
"Cassandra, you are not his wife. You're his ex-wife. Please remember that."
Her lawyer sighed.
"You had an agreement that you will stop festering him once you acquired the house. He gave you half of his savings too. The court already deemed that the case is over. Unless you want to open the case again, but it cost money."
"... Tch."
Cassandra clicked her tongue in annoyance.
'Who would have thought that my depressed husband will actually become a successful director? Millions! He sold the copyright of his movie for millions but I can't get half of it? That's fucking unfair!'
Cassandra regretted the fact that he divorced Kazir. She should have waited for another year so that she could steal more from him.
"Damn it!"
She slammed her fists against the table out of frustration.
Life was fucking unfair!
'As a beautiful woman, my job should be marrying rich people and stealing half of their property! Instead of focusing on my career and being a good person, I rather step on people!'
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