Capítulo 4: chapter 3
i shot up when i heard a loud bang, and i looked to one side of konoha to the other, or as far as my window could reach, before i heard it again. i shot my head towards the door, and realized it was alarm clock. i picked it up and chucked it at the wall. it broke into a million pieces, and a master plan was somehow born, and it involed duckbutt. materials needed: shaving cream and purple dye. (author's note: i picked purple dye because most fanfics use red or pink. i just wanna change it up a bit. XD)
I got dressed as quickly as possible, 1 minute, and shot through my door. i didn't bother to lock it, because it was already locked.
walking to the store i realized i needed another color of dye. i imediately decided magenta. (it's like a pinkish purple). and another one... ORANGE! it might not go with the other colors but whatever.
i quickly got to the store and almost passed it. thinking makes me miss stuff... i walked backwards to the enterance and walked in. i went to the dye isle, and it took me FOREVA to find the dye. actually, i didn't find it, some random lady that looked like Kiba found it for me.
"Thank you," i said.
"why do you need so much dye anyways?" she asked.
"playing a trick on the uchiha," i replied with a smirk. she smiled slightly.
"Nice. I'm Hana, Kiba's sister.''
"Im samuel! you can call me sam!"
"well bye sam... i got work to do..." she said, and i waved, and we left the aisle. all that's left now is the shaving cream.
I ran all the way to the other side of the store and imediately found it. i took it off the shelve and took a breather. this store is fucking huge for Konoha.
i walked up to cashier 3 and checked everything out.
"shaving cream?" the cashier asked raising an eyebrow.
"a master plan," i replied taking my bag. "Thank you!" then i walked through the wall of the store, and the cashier had a WTF look on her face.maybe i shouldn't go back there for a while... then i realized, I NEEDED A FUCKING BASEBALL BAT! don't ask...
I ran back through the wall, through the cashier (it made me shiver...) and into the sports aisle. i picked up a blue baseball bat and ran back to the cashier. the missy there gave me another weird look.
"something else for your so called master plan?" she asked putting it in a bag.
"Yes. now, CYA AROUND BITCH!" i replied and ran through the wall, and then ran like heck through people, and walls.
while i was going through an apartment, i saw Kakashi Hatake without his mask on. he was currently getting dressed, but he had his pants on. (THANK GOD!)
"oooohhhhh so that's what your face looks like! so sexy..." i said the last part sarcastically.
"SAMUEL?! GET THE FUCK OUT!" he yelled throwing his book at me. i yelped and dodged it.
"Excuse me, that's not how you treat me after i haven't seen ya in 5 years! 5 YEARS YOU BITCHY UNCLE!" i yelled back.
"Bastard." he said rolling his eyes.
"YOU'RE THE BASTARD HERE, DUMBASS! YOU'RE THE ONE WITHOUT PARENTS! I HAVE PARENTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY ALIVE AND YOU DON'T! THEREFORE, YOU'RE THE BASTARD!" i yelled, throwing knowledge at him with my words.
"when the hell did you learn that?" he asked.
"i honestly don't remember... I have a master plan to get too. GOODBAI UNCLE!" i said before running through his wall and back outside. i am such a bitch. and yes, me and Kakashi are related and my parents are alive and in... ahhh... where are they? oh shit...
someone grabbed my wrist.
"did you just walk through a wall?" neji asked, eyebrow raised.
"you didn't know i could?"
"no, i didn't."
"well i can. now bye, i have to enleash my master plan!!!!!!!! well, half of it!" did i say there was two parts to it? well there is...
i ran down the street towards sasuke's house. i was going to go through the wall, but when i went to walk through it i just banged into it.
"goddamn it." i cursed under my breath. sometimes it doesn't work, you see...
then i tried again, and, to my surprise, it did not work. heh, got ya there didn't i?
i tried a third time. it didn't work. okay, the third times a charm thing is so NOT true.
by the fourth try i got through. when i was in his porch with 5 brusies, i mentally said TA-DA! doing jazzhands. i slowly crept up the stairs. cautiously putting my head through the walls, i found sasuke's room and stepped inside. It was pretty big, and there was a queen sized bed there. wait... A QUEEN SIZED? JUST FOR HIM? i only have a twin! i mentally started to cry and walked up to a open door. Ducky's bathroom. perfect.
i stepped into his shower and switched the shampoo with the magenta dye, and the conditioner with the purple dye. then i replaced his body wash with orange. i'm 75% finished. then i realized there was someone in the doorway.
"what are you doing?" a stern voice asked. it kinda sounded like a female sasuke voice. i turned around to see a female standing in the doorway of the bathroom wearing a female version of sasuke's clothes, with the same eyes and hair color, and her hair was in high and long ponytails.(author's note: basically sasuko. i changed her name though.)
"enleashing phase one of two of my master plan..." i replied.her eyes narrowed.
"who are you?" she asked.
"Samuel..." i replied a little uncertain of what to do. she erupted into laughter.
"DA FUCK'S WRONG WIT CHU?" i yelled.
"your expression.. you looked so scared." she said standing up.
"name's Yami, sasuke's sister."
"oh, no wonder you and ducky look the same... wait... shouldn't you be dead?"
"nah, i was hiding in the attic that i never knew was there when itachi killed the family, which was a whole wack of people by the way.''
"oh... how come you're not going out and around like ducky?"
"dunno. you ask sasuke."
"i don't think that's a good idea."
"me too." she grined. WTF?!
"will you tell sasuke about my plan...?" i asked.
"no. should be hilarious when he finds out about the dye. what's the rest of it?" she replied.
"come closer," she leaned close and i whispered the rest of it in her ear. she bursted out laughing, and i couldn't help but laugh too.
"hey yami," i said in between laughs.
"yeah?" she said, and her laughing made it sound weird.
"you can call me sam or sammy,"
"Kay,"
for some reason, we stopped laughing imediately.
"Sammy, might wanna leave now. sasuke will be home in 10 minutes." she said,getting all serious again.
"oh shit... BAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i said and disappeared, then reappeared in my house. well that was eventful... and my plan ain't even over yet!!!! all i have to do now is go back in a few hours. if sasuke's asleep i won't have to knock him out with my beautiful, beautiful baseball bat, but if he isn't, it'll just make my plan even more fun. XD
A FEW HOURS AND 3 HORROR MOVIES LATER
a shiver ran up my spine as i finished watching paranormal activity 3. it was really creepy...
I quickly grabbed the shaving cream and baseball bat and ran for sasuke's house. i mean, who wouldn't? it's 10 pm and i just finished watching paranormal activity 1,2, and 3! i'm scared out of my wits!
i ran threw his door to see Yami waiting for me.
"is he asleep?" i asked in a whisper. she nodded. "aww... did he take a shower?" she nodded again. "perfect. now when he wakes up he'll be too occupied with you know what he won't look in the mirror."
we crept up the stairs and into his room. i silently took the cap off the shaving cream and wrote, "Hey duckbutt, i like your hair." - Samuel on his wall. now, to stay up all night under his bed and wait to see what his reaction would be like in the morning. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.
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