Capítulo 1: Chapter 1
Reaching for the Stone of Knowledge, I pause and look around one last time. The emerald eyes of the eldritch beings, sitting in a circle around the dais I'm perched on, burn into me with their stares, waiting for me to do the right thing.
The right thing feels so wrong!
Painfully slowly, I turn my eyes to him. He is pinned to the ground by two behemoths of the Fire Empire's beasts.
It's ridiculous to think that those giants would have no power over him if it weren't for me. I am Samson's Delilah... I found his weakness and sold him. Yet, he is fighting and struggling, foaming with agony, screaming his concern for me, even now:
"Luna, no! Please, Luna, just... live, I beg you! I beg you!"
I've taken everything from him, betrayed him, torn him to pieces, and he still wants me to save myself. Wherever I end up, I hope it's painful. Extremely painful. I hope I remember day by day, minute by minute, what I did to him. How I made him suffer when all he wanted was to be with me.
And...all I wanted was to be with him.
I wish I could undo what has been done and forget all this misery and run into his arms; the only place I consider home. Am I allowed to say that I love him, does it still count as love if you abandon the person you love? How I long for us to forget everything and just go back at being a normal couple living only in the shadow of worldly worries...
But we are not.
Without taking my eyes off his, I take the cold stone in my hand as he struggles and cries out my name.
Shock went through my veins like lightning striking me. I feel my hand catching fire. I want to let go of it, but I can't. I want to scream, yet nothing comes out of my mouth. I can't move! The last thing I hear is his desperate roar.
"NO!"
With an impossible force, somehow, he breaks free from the Draks' stranglehold and lunges for me. It is too late. Everything went dark as I fell to the ground, 'Why? Why have I chosen this wretched path?'
─── ･ ｡ﾟ*☆ .☽. ☆ﾟ*｡ﾟ･ ─── Luna
TIMELESS CITY, present time
"Come on, Luna, everyone's expecting you! It's going to be a killer party... the location is divine and—"
"Who did you say was coming besides the freshmen?"
"Are you coming?"
"Yeah…"
"Seriously?! Yaaay! It's going to be a blast!"
STOP RIGHT HERE! Scratch that!
WELL, yeah, that's what a normal, silly conversation should sound like between two first-year college students who—Yoohooo!—are invited to their first off-campus freshman party. It may sound trivial to most people, but to me, it's something that just others have access to.
An entire world seen through a figurative wall of glass.
"Come on...!" Jodi (my friend and monitor) keeps nagging me early in the morning as she digs various goodies out of the fridge.
Jodi's many allergies mean we can't eat at the campus cafeteria. Luckily, our spacious new mansard room in the updated dorms includes a mini-kitchenette, so we can cook for ourselves.
I frown and then smile when I see the package of vegan mozzarella and the casserole of ground meat. She wants lasagna, again.
"Tevin is dying to have you there," she insists, her eyes wide and pleading. "Come on, it'll be all the cool seniors! Pretty pleeease!"
"That's nonsense, Jodi!" I say, turning my attention back to the fabric on my workbench. I am making her a velvet top for this party she is so obsessed with. "I mean... it starts at 9:00 p.m., it's not like I'll see much of it. Anyway, who wants to drag a sleepyhead around? Not exactly glamorous. Besides, I don't care what Tevin wants."
"Guys will line up for a chance to hold that body of yours," she teases, "You'd be like a special Cinderella, who instead of losing a crystal slipper, falls asleep!"
"Yeah, that sounds like something out of a story! Incredibly attractive," I scoff, "Jodi, that's a recipe for disaster!" I turn to look at her as she searches the cupboards for some missing ingredient. Thick blond hair hangs down to her mid-back from her ponytail, which is pinned at the top of her head as she stands on her tiptoes to get a better view of the shelf above."Imagine some random guy touching you while unconscious," I add, wondering what's with this sudden invitation. So I go on, "There's no way I'll do that! And, by the way, you got your stories all mixed up. At least Cinderella got to party until midnight, not fall asleep at the start!"
She turns for me to see her rolling her eyes. Then she adds in a serious tone. "I'll be right there with you, won't I?"
I am puzzled by her insistence – she's not usually like this.
"It wouldn't be much of a party for any of us," I say, frustration starting to creep into my voice, "You can go without worrying. I'm going to sleep anyway, whether I'm there or here in my bed. And I'd much rather be here, where I'm comfortable, than under everyone else's scrutinizing eyes."
You're probably wondering what we're talking about, right?
Well, I have this... let's call it a 'unique condition' since I was born. It's called narcolepsy, and it means I could fall asleep unexpectedly at any time. That limits the places I can go, although, in the last years(two years to be precise) it hasn't happened to me during the day, only after 8pm.
The doctors, however, said that I still need to be monitored because they can't predict when the episodes may resume. That's because I have a history. For a long period of time, I didn't have falls during the day, and then suddenly they've become severe.
In fact, here's how the official definition sounds:
Narcolepsy is a chronic neurological disorder that affects the brain's ability to control sleep-wake cycles. People with narcolepsy may feel rested after waking, but then feel very sleepy throughout much of the day. Many individuals with narcolepsy also experience uneven and interrupted sleep that can involve waking up frequently during the night.
Are there any dangers of narcolepsy?
Narcolepsy can greatly affect your daily life and may be dangerous, as it can make you fall asleep without warning during routine activities, such as working or driving. There is no cure for narcolepsy, but medicines and healthy lifestyle changes can help you manage the condition.
Or that's what the 'National Institute of Neurological Disorders' says. You can google it. ;)
At least, that's what they say, and... my doctors.
Alas, they wouldn't know what my brain is doing during that time. There's no such explanation in the known laws of science.
Now, I'm going to tell you my secret because there's not one soul in the whole universe I can share it with. No person I can confide in. I'm telling you because I trust you to keep it. Otherwise, I'm doomed. BELIEVE ME! I learned from bitter experience, through trial and fatal error.
So… Narcolepsy is not the unique part, what is unique is that when I fall asleep, my consciousness, my memories, my soul are transferred to another body living in another era. I know, sounds fantastic! And it is, in a way. It's like my sleep is a portal for my soul to that other world.
I get to live in a completely different world. I open my eyes the second I fall asleep here and wake up to live another life. The problem is that in the world I sleep in, no one and nothing can wake me up.
The doctors could only describe my condition in one way:
"You're dreaming. In fact, you are dreaming with unusual intensity."
"Unusual?"
"Yes, almost like you're still awake."
They couldn't elucidate it further. So, I was left to wonder, was my life in Ether, the other world, just a dream?
From an early age, they concluded that my form of narcolepsy was uncommon. My case wasn't quite like the National Institute's definition. I'm not sleepy during the day, and I don't lack energy. I had an unheard-of form of Narcolepsy—lucky me. I suddenly fall asleep without any signs of sleepiness or warning. I just drop asleep. One minute I'm talking to you, or doing the dishes, or on my way to school, and the next, I'm on the floor or on the ground, snoring (no one told me I snore, but that's how I imagine it).
So, what the doctors said about my brain being awake?
That's because I am awake, but in another place—another realm. Apparently, only the essential content leaves the body: the soul and consciousness, that part of us without which we would be nothing but empty shells.I don't know if the world I end up in exists on another planet, in another galaxy, or if somehow my core has discovered a time tunnel, transporting me to that place and back. But there, too, I have a complete life—one that I adore. I have a whole other family and experiences unique to that world. That place resembles a medieval or maybe more like post-medieval period in our current history, yet it's quite different—a sunny, prosperous, and welcoming kingdom where, despite my condition, I have some freedom.
"WHAT?!?" you would most probably wonder.
Of course you're wondering! Who has ever heard of such a thing, a mind literally going on a trip?
You see, I'm a person who lives two lives in one. I don't know the world in any other way, and from what I've learned so far, no one else is like this. If you know anyone having this problem, please let me know. I'm dying to meet them.
"Isn't it exhausting?" you might ask.
Yes and no.
Physically, no. In fact, I think that's why my two bodies (that sounds a bit like something from a creepy movie!) need a lot more rest than a normal person's body, because my mind is overworked. Or maybe it's just a technicality of needing to sleep the same amount of time to stay awake equally in each of them. Anyway, all this is just guesswork; I never found any relevant information.
Mentally, sometimes it is exhausting, when there's too much going on in both worlds at once. And yes, I don't know how it works, but when events disrupt my routine in one world, the universe seems to agree to disrupt the other too, at least a little bit.
"But aren't you mixing or confusing the two lives?"
A deep sigh and my palm to the forehead. Oh, you don't even know! I came out of those woods in my late teens, but I learned much, much earlier — the hardest way, as I said — that mixing them up was a recipe for disaster. It was imperative to keep them separate!
The fact is, when I was little, it got me into a lot of trouble. For my mother here in Timeless, Ira, who suffers from chronic major depression, it was a real shock and anguish to learn of my "blessed" gift. She took it as an affront to her lifeless life. So, she decided it wasn't enough that I, her child, didn't understand what was going on, and she made my life an absolute nightmare.
Whenever I mentioned things from Ether or happened to use words from the ancient language spoken there, she would freak out. Honestly, she would freak out about anything, but especially on those occasions.
The high point for her was whenever I mentioned my mother, father, or the servants who work on our lands there... Oh yes, I almost forgot to tell you! In the Ether Kingdom, I'm a duke's daughter. Sounds like a fairy tale, and for a while, it truly was. Though it's a fairy tale turned complicated... but that's a story for later.
In addition to mother Ira and her absurd reactions, when I arrived at kindergarten, I met other people who were annoyed, amused, or irritated by my situation. Most notably, there were a few kids that I was blessed to have as classmates throughout elementary and high school. They became my daily torment in this world, until I finished school.
So yeah, this is my secret.
Of course, it's not something I can tell anyone without sounding crazy. I mean, how can you prove something like this? Even the closest person in your life would have a hard time believing it. For everyone, no matter the realm, I just sleep and fall asleep at inappropriate times. A useless person, always depending on others. An inconvenience.
It's much better to keep this to myself; at least that way, I can keep the only people in my life on my side. It's enough that I'm a narcolepsy freak; there's no need to add to the weirdness and risk losing them. I can't bear that.
I wish I could know why is this happening specifically to me. Desperately, I want an answer to this question.
According to science, there is no creator or being responsible for our lives, yet I wish there were... so I could hold them accountable for this. Someone to blame. How could any divine being give someone two lives at once and "bless" them with this kind of illness, or whatever it is, that prevents one from fully enjoying at least one of them?
Although, come to think of it, even mere chance could create such a hazardous thing... but it's somewhat pointless to curse chance. A being would be an easier target for my frustration. I'm betting on chance, though, a being would more likely have the good sense to understand how hard it would be for anyone to cope with the challenges of two lives without further complications.
I can tell you, living like this limits a lot in life, including relationships. Unfortunately for me, the episodes have become more frequent. It was hard during my childhood, but things settled down around the age of 9 or 10. I had a wonderful period where I wouldn't fall asleep during the day unless I wanted to. That lasted until I was 16 – that's when the real nightmare of this world started. On top of everything else (to lose the one being that means the world to me), my symptoms got worse for a while. It's only now that they seem to be adjusting again. But I'm afraid to hope that maybe, just maybe, this time I'll get rid of them once and for all, yet I can't help myself.
Is it really so much to ask to live an ordinary life, with all the ups and downs? Well, the ups and downs are all here... why shouldn't the ordinary part be?
How many times have I imagined myself going out, maybe even going to some parties, where I can enjoy myself with friends...?
How often, I watched movies or listened to Michiko, our other friend, describing how such parties unfold? How people gather in one place, enjoying each other's company or making new acquaintances with a single handshake... They listen to music, talk about common things, or not at all. All of this is like a world I can learn about, hear about, and see on big or small screens, but something I cannot touch. This time, it's a party, but honestly, any kind of event or outing in public places, or more precisely far from home, except for classes, is off limits to me.
...being surrounded by a sea of people and yet being so alone.
Most people can chase dreams, can strive for a life in an attempt to find happiness, or maybe not so much happiness, but at least contentment and well-being. And what a beautiful thing it is that they have this choice.
In the present, I live on a university campus with a friend monitor attached, just in case...
Splash!
"What do you do with eggs when you make lasagna?" I sigh.
Jodi looks from the shattered egg on the floor to me and back. "Don't they put eggs in it?"
"Only if you make your own pasta," I reply, abandoning my work to help clean up the mess.
As we clean, her eyes keep darting toward me. That familiar look—I know it too well. She's holding something back, something she's been dying to reveal. Why else would she insist on this topic, knowing how things are for me? Maybe she would have brought it up anyway, but... let's give her the benefit of the doubt.
"Michiko met Larry last night," she announces.
My hands freeze. Aware of her wide blue eyes glinting as she studies my reaction, I force myself to keep cleaning.
"He told her that he, along with all the hotties from the team, are going to the party."
She knows that I don't care for that part, only about what she's specifically delaying to tell me. I try to look relaxed, but within seconds, my heart has begun to race. I am too aware of what she will say next, and I'd rather not feel exactly what I will feel.
"Also, he mentioned something about... Tandru coming," she finally says it, trying to sound nonchalant, deliberately adding syrup to her voice.
BADUMP. BADUMP. I take a deep breath.
Tandru!
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