Capítulo 10: Interlude 1
I was a pitiful man then. Lacking confidence, determination and ever drowned in my own depression. I was a dreamer a man told me , and perhaps he wasn't wrong . For i dreamed of ever grandeurs of happiness, and recognition by everyone within my family and most importantly my father. But to the man i had become a disappointment, after my failures through college , and further not making something of my self in life even though i was still young not even reaching 24 .
I was nothing more … but a burden; that was how he saw it and how I also saw it myself. I had nothing and i earned nothing, nothing for myself and day by day working for people that are no different than slave masters of old for minimal money just enough to bring one back to work the other day, all of this further pushed me in the well of darkness.
My mind and thoughts were negative, every smile i had given out felt so awkward yet forced even in times that i was supposed to be happy. An introvert I was but never had i liked this feeling , this feeling of not being able to communicate with others properly if any at all, my anxiety fought against it at every turn.
And being an introvert might seem good to others but it was a dreaded feeling at times. The loneliness , the solace of quit was also sickening, a sickness that could drive one to madness.
Madness that my family thought i was infected with. I saw their looks, that gaze within their eyes i knew. The same look i would give a dog which I showed somewhat pity to.
Having family that doesn't understand you, having a parent that hardly shows you any respect from time to time. And even mocks you in your face while you just have to grind your teeth in anger . What was one to do in such a life . It was all the same . Eating , sleeping , working, , a perpetual cycle that goes on ! And on! Over and over again.
How hard it was to do as the therapist said , smile and move on , thing positive, manifest good thoughts and good things will come. Oh , how such actions would have worked ; yet here I am.
Now I see why some people end their lives . There was peace in death, and it saved them from the suffering in life . And perhaps it was for the best
The afterlife wherever it may be or perhaps not was far better than here .
Far better than living …
— — —
"Sometimes it surprises me how with the right amount of power how men can easily change the world. Pentos in all its centuries of cultures , of massive cities , of wealth , influence and vast lands were so easily overtaken by merely a single army on the bring of chaos and mutiny. A complex city of bureaucracy, trade , and infrastructure now in the hands of foreigners. So loose they were. So arrogant the rulers of the city were . So set in their ways like mortar to stone. But now they learned and forever its neighbors will remember as a new era is brought about. The treacherous were executed, the deceivers are dead , and its transgressors returned to dust." The emperor spoke , his words carrying the weight of the world as it fell down on those who heard.
"I wish to make something of myself before i die tiberius. And the whole world will know my tale. Generations will prostrate in reverence at my statues, bow in respect at my name, and revere at my deeds.But here and now, none none can overlook the fact that cruelty in the act of justice is just. But our acts going forward will not be just. It will be murder… a massacre. A full extermination of vermin, and the whole world shall cheer at their demise" the man lectured from the small grass like hill he stood upon . Arms crossed behind his back and staring down at the horizon.
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
Gs9Gosohard
Gs9Gosohard What a wonderful day my fellow crusaders. Give me your support for God wills It!!!
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