-hello, just a quick note before the chaper, this is my first fanfiction and I would appreciate any feedback readers may have to develop my writing skills. Please keep that in mind and comment on ways I can improve.-
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In a darkened side alley on the streets of Fontaine, a small figure can be seen rummaging through a pile of garbage, carefully brushing aside broken wine and Fonta bottles.
The boy is thin, his clothes a few sizes too big in some places and too small in others.
After digging for a bit, and a brief scuffle with few rats, he pulls out what he had been searching for, a half rotted apple and a crushed sandwich.
The boy tock his spoils and held the close, looking from side to side carefully, not wanting anyone to see him lest they call the guards to chase him away or worse another hungry vagrant looking for scraps who would fight him for them.
The boy carefully dashed from shadow to shadow, behind random crates until he reached his hideaway, a pile of boxes hiding a crack in the wall of a building that the boy squeezed into, revealing a small room whose door had been sealed off from the outside.
Sitting down the boy took a knife made out of carefully chipped glass and cut into the apple, removing the rotten parts, leaving the soft but less rotten area safer to consume.
"Just another day Carman, just got to survive one more day. "
Carman finished his food and layed himself on the wooden ground to relax, though it wasn't optimal, there was still heating and cooling in this sealed off room.
"I can't believe it's been nearly 5 years since I was reborn in this world. It's been hard to survive this long, but surely things will change tomorrow."
If someone overheard Carman's words, they would likely wonder what would change tomorrow and why the boy was hopefull for it. However, unless that person was familiar with the concept of people being reincarnated into other worlds with overpowered abilities granted by mechanical beings refered to as systems, such as a few Inazuman novelists, they would only assume the young boy was either hopelessly optimistic or delusional.
What nobody else knew though was that while he layed down, seemingly staring at the ceiling, Carman was actually looking at a blue screen only he could see which said:
[Welcome to the world of Teyvat, please wait, your system will activate in: 24 hrs ]
They boy had been able to see this window since he had regained his consciousness at the age of 1 years old, his body's mind not able to fully awaken before then due to it's stage of development. The wait time then was 3 years and 364 days.
Carman was born from an affair between a middle aged Fontainian nobleman and a maid serving him. He still remembered the day that the lady of the household ordered her husband to fire the maid and get rid of the offspring before it got out and sullied their reputation. He was barely 1 and a half years old at that point. His mother who was not overly attached to him in the first place due to the nobleman using his status to force himself on her dropped Carman off in an orphanage.
Carman was not really phased as he never saw her as his real mother, Carman only regarded the woman who raised him in his previous life his mother and wondered how his family back in that world had reacted to his demise, but refused to ponder too deeply about it. Instead, Carman focused his sights on the mechanical wonders that the city of Fontaine was built on. Having been an engineer in his previous life, Carman was fascinated by the prospect of learning the way elemental particals and other energys of this world was used by it's inhabitants. Unfortunately for him, the likelihood of him receiving a decent education fell drastically when he was dropped off into the orphanage.
The orphanage was neither bad nor good, it met his basic needs but the noise of hundreds of children quickly got on his nerves. As he grew older and managed to move independently he would find any excuse to leave to the quieter parts of the building, often finding himself in offices or the small library.
At the age of three, the orphanage started his enduation on the alphabet and the common language of Fontaine. While there are other languages such as the ones spoken in Mondstat or Inazuma and even the universal language that all countries shared for better communication, they only started teaching the universal language once the children understood basic Fontainian and reached 4 years of age.
Once he understood the basic written language of Fontaine, Carman sneaked into the libraries and read all that he could, there were some books written in a more formal dialect that he had trouble reading, and assumed it was written in higher class Fontainian. He found a few story books, with many stories focusing on justice fighting evil, mini dramas, and several references to the Hydro Archon Focelors, also known as Furina.
One day he was found reading by one of the caretakers and soon enough there was a rumor going around the area about a genius 3 year old who was found reading all on his own. This gained the attention of several parties including nobles, but they quickly lost interest as rumors about the latest opera staring the Hydro Archon came out, there was only one party that still kept an eye on him, the House of the Hearth. This faction within Fontaine was a branch of the Fatui lead by the Knaive.
Quietly, the house of the Hearth implanted their spies into the orphanage Carman was living in, posing as new hires. While Carmon was unaware he had gained the House's interest, he still noticed the new caretakers that seemed a little too interested in him, as they were a little too quiet and let their eyes linger on him longer than the other kids. Then also just had identical vibes of underlying seriousness no matter how much they acted clumbsy or ignorant.
One day an envoy from the house of the Hearth had a meeting with the director of the orphanage, seeking to fill out an adoption form for Carman, the Director called Carman in to talk to them.
Initially, he was surprised to hear that someone wanted to adopt him, but after hearing who wanted to take him under their wing, Carman immediately decided he didn't want to go with them. Carman was a fan of the game Genshin Impact in his previous life, and just finished the Fontaine Archon questline the night before he died, in fact his lack of sleep probably played a significant role in the work accident that took his life.
I'll never join the Fatui, the goal of the house of the Hearth to break the prophecy might be noble, but I can't trust the other factions they rub elbows with, and frankly I hate the organization as a whole for their actions in other regions. Some individuals are fine, but as a whole, the Fatui can rot in hell for all I care their methods are too cruel and some of their leaders are the worst scum that even the devil would take notes from. Thought Carman as he sat across from the representative.
To prevent himself from joining their ranks, Carman pretended to be a normal shy child. He acted like he had childish misgivings about the envoy from the house. The old director of the orphanage had experienced a lot of adoption processes and knowing the sorry outcomes from some of them, she knew that some individuals had keen senses towards danger that could not be explained through reasoning, so while the person she was talking to seemed nice enough, she refused to hand Carman over to them.
Over time, the house kept asking for Carman, even trying other means to pressure the director to sign the forms for the house to adopt him. Carman could see the stress building up on the Director's face and knew the Fatui were probably putting pressure on her.
So instead of putting his fate in the hands of the director, hoping that her will would outlast the Fatui's interest and pressure, Carman decided at the age of 4 and a half years old to run away from the orphanage.
He reckoned that he could survive the time between leaving and his system activating, and while he did not know what kind of system it was he was sure it would be powerful and would give the boost needed to turn his life around.
To be continued...
-appolgies for the extensive backstory being written in such a way, I will probably go back and edit this later, or expand a bit in future chapters as I want to delve more into Carman's past life but didn't want to bog down the story within the first chapter. Please any thoughts are welcome -
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Hello,
Not sure where this will end up, but as you might have read before, this is the first fanfic that I have posted. I chose an admittedly cliche format but having read so many it's the one I am most familiar with. Despite it's mundanity, I hope you will enjoy the story. I plan to have the MC struggle and grow, so people who like a overpowered MC that breezes through the story with op skills and obvious plot armor, this story is not for you.
Please feel free to comment your feedback, as I am still learning balancing and how to write a good story, so any advice y'all have to give would be appreciated. I am also open to suggestions for powers/items the MC eventually being able to weild, but it is far from that point and I'll do research to ensure it will not break the immersion.
Save your power stones for stories that deserve it, this is just a first attempt and I hope to take what I learn on this journey and apply it to even better stories in the future.
happy reading!
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