Capítulo 1: The day I encountered a meming alien
I died, how? I don't remember it, and neither did I remember my name. The only thing I know is that the office I am in right now is surely something strange. And a strange entity was 'looking' at me...
"Yes, thank you. I am strange even by paranormal standards, no need to remind me"
Bruh, did it just read my mind?
"As the new generation says... yeah, bro"
An alien is doing Dad's jokes? What have I seen...
*Cough*
"Never mind that... you are here only for a reason. Do you want to be reincarnated?"
...Wow, reincarnation? Damn, that's an appealing offer. And why can't make a sound?
"Yeah, there aren't many reincarnators or trasmigrators and whatnot in the multiverse. Oh and by the way, you can't talk right now as you are just your soul"
Oh... it does make sense... but sure it's a good offer... it's like an anime and manga where after dying you encounter a god or a R.O.B. that also offers you a cheat like a system and whatever else?
"Fortunately you read those... yes, albeit with some modifications. Oh, but if you accept then there is also something we want from you... you can see it like an equivalent exchange of sort..."
A condition, you say? Well, let's listen then. There's no way I can accept if that condition is like "destroy all lifeforms" or "become the evil king" and shit like that.
"Don't worry, it's nothing that much extreme. First of all, you are not the only one we are reincarnating, as there are also others like you... and the condition is that you have to fight those reincarnators... if you want to know why, then you can think that my 'boss' is simply bored enough and wants to enjoy a spectacle like that..."
Shit, it's like a death game? Will we play a reincarnator's Jumanji?
"Haha, no, though I surely will enjoy that. Think of it like a tournament where you fight an opponent until death and advance to the next round. Most of the time the fights will be simple 1v1 on a neutral field with maybe a few exceptions like a quest to kill some monster, or also a best-of-three rock, paper scissor game"
So, a Deathmach-style tournament, except when your boss finds those boring?
"Right on point, you are for a great start. You'll be reincarnated as a baby the day your mother gives birth, so no 'extra time' in the womb of your next mother, also you'll be reborn as a human the same gender you were in your previous life. The first round will be on your birthday at the age of 12 at the end of the day, in Earth time. Next, the next rounds will be a year apart on the same condition... basically, you'll receive a deathmatch as your birthday gift, isn't that nice?"
...At least this alien is funny even while it doesn't possess a face.
"I know, I'm hilarious... and my face is my perfect oval cobalt, thank you. Anyway, those are the conditions and there's no escape from them. Just so you know, we offer cheats, but only if you accept before"
...A strange marketing technique, usually they offer the benefits before... maybe it was so no weak-hearted fool would accept thinking of escaping this 'contract' after the deed...
"Yeah, and also to make it more interesting"
...Well, you've hooked me on the reincarnation part, but before I accept, I have to ask a question. You say we start to fight at 12 years old, but what if someone reincarnates in the world of Dragon Ball and spends most of the time in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber or chooses a cheat regarding time?
"Good question. It won't change anything... Mmh, to explain you better think that the method of evaluation for everyone is the same for everyone, If you enter the Hyperbolic Time Chamber at the age of 1 and exactly ten years pass inside, you'll fight at the age of 2 and not when you become 12. Well, if you measure everything perfectly then you'll enter one second before your birthday, but that's just minor details. And remember, this doesn't change even if you choose a cheat regarding time and anything of the sort"
So, it's fair in its judgment and tells us to stay away from cheats regarding time.
"True, the 'boss' wouldn't enjoy himself if a 12 years old kid fought twelve million years old because of a cheat he gifted"
Also true, if he wanted a generic overpowered protagonist fighting a kid, then there wouldn't be that much of a contract... it could also mean that some cheats could be removed or nerfed...
...I think the alien is staring and 'smirking' at me... so I'm probably right... by the way, what's his name?
"I won't comment on that, and my name is not something you can pronounce, but you can call me Plinpoctas"
Pliptonpocas?
"Plinpoctas"
Plintopoctas?
"Monjirou"
Plin... wait, did an alien just make an anime joke?
"What, do you think only mortals are weebs? Just so you know, I only know the most popular ones, but the 'boss' knows almost all of them!"
...Wow... a R.O.B. weeb... that's kinda funny.
"It is, until his favorite character dies...*shiver*"
True... I won't think about what would happen to the authors of those stories... and Attack on Tinan author-san, you deserve everything.
"Anyway, are you in?"
Yes, I want to reincarnate... ehi, just for confirmation, but you used truck-kun to make this offer, right?
"Nope, the trope of being hit by a truck before reincarnating or transmigrating is what you call a R.O.M."
...R.O.M., Random Omnipotent Meme... holy shit that's-
"Genious, yeah, we know. Everyone here knows. Anyway, welcome to the M.R.W.!"
He spread his... tentacles? like it was a grand announcement... M.R.W.... are those R.O.B.s fixated on acronyms or what?
"It's just that if some R.O.B. becomes an author of this story, they prefer to not type all those words... at least the ones that don't write Wuxia and Xianxia, in that case, there will be at least 50 repetitions of those words every two chapters while praising the protagonist as the best of everything he does"
...What, I'll become an MC? A self-aware one furthermore? Then dear future author-san that is peeking from the past/present/future, I'll make sure to dab or crouch on everyone.
"Yeah, it'll be quite funny"
...Hey, now that you talked about it, I will be reincarnated in a sword and magic world and not a Chinese cultivation or Murim world, right..?
"Ah, don't worry, the pool of the worlds you can enter can be modified, so there shouldn't be any problem. Also, you won't choose directly but will spin a wheel"
Fuu, it's refreshing to know that I won't slaughter my way to power, seriously, why the novel with the most peaceful way to become strong (meditation and cultivation) is also the one where you'll surely kill more?
"Hey, we don't answer those questions here. Anyway, welcome, participant! You only have to sign here and here... and another here... and the last one here..."
...Sorry, Mr. Alien, even you are weak against the nemesis of civilization...
Paperwork
Basically, the demon king of my world.
"Yeah, yeah, now, while I organize the paperwork to send, you can choose your cheats"
Cheats, as in plural?
"Oh, yeah. You can choose three different ones from any anime, manga, novel, or game and even modify it somewhat, but remember that the truly overpowered ones will be nerfed. And when I say nerfed, it's by a lot. To choose them, you can speak- sorry, think about them, and a description will flow in your mind, or you can either see a list of what we have cataloged. Anyway, you have all the time in the multiverse, so don't be rash and take your time"
Thank you, I'll start right away.
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
Albusmanc
Albusmanc Wow, another story? Yeah, yeah, I know I suck at updating them, but do you know why I want to do this one?
Two reasons:
First: this will be my stress reliever
Second: do you think I would make money if I patreonize everything?
P.S.: Patr-e-onize... I repeat, Patr-e-onize...
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