Capítulo 3: Chapter Three
After your new master somehow unlocked the dormant psychic potential within you, you thought things would go just as smoothly. But instead of getting to experience a sick montage where you'd master alien martial arts like some sort of cosmic enforcer Bruce Lee you received perhaps the most grueling exercise of your life. You were never what you'd call fit. You've never even been in a gym once.
But after you were introduced to the basics of how to read an opponents movements and predict their action as well as other basic skills like reading a beings energy and how to properly assume a stance you realized just how demanding Vados is.
The angel did not spar with you, instead she instructed you on the basics of martial arts and helped to correct your posture and movements whenever necessary. However when the time arrived to actually practice some moves and routines she was a ruthless teacher compounded by her maximalism. She'd ask you to perform a punch over and over again until it was absolutely perfect.
By the end you're left completely exhausted and panting as you hold onto your knees.
"Oh dear. It appears the human body is not very durable."
"You... could... say that."
"Unfortunately this means we can't help but raise your strength slowly over time.
But at least now we're ready."
"Ready... for what?! I can hardly move!"
"Exactly. And this is the perfect time for you to practice your mental powers. When you can't rely on your body anymore!" She extends her wand and conjures up a piece of fruit in her hands. "Your test is taking this fruit from me. It doesn't matter how."
You look at the condescending angel and groan in pain, thinking how to handle this.
At first you thought about doing the obvious, reaching out with telekinesis and grabbing hold of your target. But that just doesn't sit well with you. If you are to do this you'll excel at it! But how?
You ponder on the question while trying to not look at Vados' smug face. Then it hits you. If she expects you to not be able to stand up then what better way to surpass her expectations? Letting out a cocky smirk you speak up.
"Okay!"
You start to focus intently, trying to recall that sensation you felt when Vados exposed to psychic energy the first time. But you didn't try to use it to lift the apple, oh no. Your attention is turned inwards and around your body.
First you tried using anger and rage to brute force your way to using psionics. But it quickly became evident that's not the way to do it. Stopping your shouting you take a deep breath and instead focus. And in that moment when you felt something boiling up within you, your hair started to flutter.
Your body suddenly shoots up from the ground like a bullet... Well, more accurately like a sack of potatoes flung by a strongman but that's not really important. What is however is the reaction of Vados as you dart past her, only narrowly missing the fruit as she sidesteps your assault. "Oh my... This is unexpected!"
You fly past her and as you get closer to the ground at the end of your path you bring up your forearms to guard your face and actually see yourself slow down briefly before landing. Rolling around a couple times you manage to bring yourself to a screeching halt which amuses your tutor.
"Good. Good! But do it evenly this time.
Spread your focus across your entire body when you throw instead on a single point."
"Noted!"
Your next move is a lot more... graceful than the last. Appearing like you are wearing an invisible pair of skates as you hover a few inches above ground. With a controlled push you pick up speed and manage to snatch the apple from the hands of the angel before landing on your feet. You even manage to keep your body upright for a few brief moments before the satisfaction of completing your challenge overwhelms you and breaks your concentration.
Crashing down on the ground you can't help but laugh. "Hehehe... Thanks for letting me take it!"
"You are quite welcome! I think you deserved it after that little performance!"
The fruit itself turned out to be something special as well. Though it tastes upon consuming it you felt a great portion of your stamina being restored. While this allowed you to move freely once more it did nothing about the fire burning within your muscles.
While hissing Vados continues praising your progress. "But that was quite impressive. While a far cry from flight soon enough you'll be capable of levitating in the air indefinitely!"
"You really think so?"
"Of course! It seems I was right after all.
There IS great potential in your race!"
"What made you so sure of that?"
"Let's just say I've seen what humans can do..."
"Wait but didn't you say this was your first visit to Earth?"
"And who said there is only one Earth?"
"Oh... Ooooooh..."
"But enough of that. I'm sure you've heard enough lore for one day. Don't worry, if you're interested I'll educate you on cosmic matters on a later date. However I think it'd be a good time for you to get back home. What do you say?"
"Wait, so... I'm not going to be a live-in chef?"
You ask Vados rather bluntly.
"Excuse me? Did you just... ask what I think you did?"
"Why? Is that a problem?"
"Nono. It's just that... you'd actually do that?"
"Honestly? I wouldn't mind poking around here for a bit instead of going right back to the perfectly ordinary earth. Don't get me wrong, the Earth is still my home but... you just presented me with the whole galaxy- no... the whole universe! This whole thing is kind of a really big deal for me. Humanity dreamt of going to the stars for aeons... to explore the final frontier would be... a dream come true!"
Vados shuts her eyes and thinks for a moment before letting out a little laugh.
"Ohoho! What interesting little creatures you are. You know, there are not many species out there with such a drive for exploration!"
"Yeap. That's us. Curious little monkeys."
"Monkey? How strange you'd say that..."
"Why? I mean... that's what we evolved from."
"You too? Hmmmm... That's interesting.
Well anyway, I don't really have a say in things and I'm sure Lord Champa would be delighted to hear how dedicated you are to your new task. So I think I can arrange some accommodations for you."
"Alright. Cool. I can go back to Earth and do some shopping later. So can I explore a bit?"
"Sure. I need to take care of your room anyway. Just don't get yourself into trouble while I'm gone!"
"Sure thing master!"
"Please, there is no need for such formalities!
Just call me Vados."
"Got it!"
As Vados leaves your side you are left alone in Champas little world free to explore things to your hearts content. And the first thing that comes to mind are those aliens that you spotted from far away when you arrived.
Letting out a smirk you go there with a little spring in your step.
"I'm gonna meet aliens! Well... more aliens! This is amazing! One small step for a man, one giant leap for humanity!" You are so giddy you can't hide your enthusiasm.
As you get closer and closer you start imagining what weird lifeforms you might encounter and your thoughts run wild with the possibilities. Your only hope is that none of them will be Geiger-esque. That'd make things a bit too weird for your liking. What you saw however was widely different from what you initially expected.
Out of the four "aliens" only one appeared different from you. Three of them appeared human at first glance, one boy and two girls. The girls were even behaving like how you'd imagine and the boy was desperately trying to calm them down. The fourth one however was unquestionably alien but he was a humanoid with two legs, two hands, and every other bodypart being present like on a human. Only his purple skin and his oddly shaped bald head were radically different from you.
It was at this moment when you could properly size them up that you realized one critical fault in your plan. That even back on Earth you didn't really have the guts to approach someone and introduce yourself. And now you have to make your presence know to fucking aliens. It's fitting how the last meal you cooked was spaghetti, because you felt it pouring out of your pockets right now.
"Erm..." You let out an awkward noise which interrupts the two girls who were squatting in place and groaned like they were constipated.
One of them, the shorter one looks up and notices you. "Huh? Who the hell are you?"
"H-Hey! I'm Eric! I am... Lord Champas servant... I uh... just came to say hello!"
"Great! Could you piss off then? We're busy!"
"Caulifla!" The boy called out to her. "That's way too rude! Please, forgive us. My name is Cabba! Nice to meet you!" He extends his hand and you shake it. That's when you notice how thin his arms yet how strong his grip is.
"I didn't know Lord Champa knows other Saiyans!"
S-soiyans? What's that? Is that what you are? Because I'm a human, from Earth."
Cabba seems surprised at first but leans in to take a closer look at you. He's clearly trying to figure out what's wrong with you and just as he seems to figure it out, so do you. Their hairs are a uniform black while looking and behaving just a bit wrong to be apparent for your eyes. Not to mention their eyes are similarly jet black as if they don't have irises.
"Amazing!" He speaks up. "You really are different!"
"Told you! Anyways, I'm Eric Asulf! Proud Scandinavian descendant of Vikings and Inheritor of the Berserker Rage!" You joke around. "Also I'm the new chef. Nice to meet you too!" Then you look back at the rude girl and give her a verbal jab. "Nice hair."
"Whaaaat?" She asks but she quickly calms herself down. "Oh wait... You said human, right? Now I remember! Hey Kale! He's from *that* race! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"
Not wanting to know what's that about you turn back to Cabba and start wondering about what's the deal with their names until you realize they are vegetable puns. "Anyway, what are you doing here? Your... friends? They seem like they are in pain."
"Erm... about that... They are trying to power up."
"And? Is that hard for you?"
"N-Not really but-"
"Oy Cabbe! How about you stop wasting time with the Earthling and come HELP us instead?"
Ignoring the rude girl you continue questioning the boy in front of you. "I take it all this has to do with the universe being annihilated..."
"You know of the universe being erased?!"
"Champa told me."
"Oh wow. Well, yes. Since we came back the girls were feeling... odd."
"Ooooh I get you now!" You give him a sly grin.
"My condolences."
"W-What?"
"We have that too. When female humans get sick and cranky."
"Humans can go Super too?"
"Super?"
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Caulifla screams as she's squatting, her aura grows increasingly large as her screaming becomes more and more pained. As the ground begins to quake you are taken aback by the staggering amount of power she's letting out. A slow creeping sensation overcomes you as you realize how truly low you are on the food chain right now.
But she looses steam eventually and starts panting. "Damn it.... DAMN IT! Why can't I do it?! Kale! Now you try!"
"Y-Yes sister! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I... can't do it either..."
"That's strange. I have no problem with it."
Said Cabba and with a quick shout he's enveloped in a golden aura that frankly makes you piss your pants. But just as it came it disappears as the Saiyan relaxes. "See?"
"What the hell?!" Caulifla complains.
They go at each others throats, or more accurately the short girl starts shouting Cabbas head off while her taller friend just watches and silently tries to calm her down but to no avail.
As the Saiyans are busy bickering amongst themselves you run your fingers through your blonde hair smuggly while trying to desperately forget how shit scared you were just a moment ago from looking into what felt like a supernova. But while trying to calm your nerves you're reminded of the silent fella leaning against a nearby tree. Despite everything that's going on he didn't as much as budge from his little spot.
Feeling it'd be rude not to introduce yourself you walk over to the scary man and call him out. "H-Hello! I'm Eric..." No answer. "The silent type, huh-"
"Listen... I'm not the kinda person you'd want to associate with."
"Erm... why is that?"
"I'm a contract killer."
You visibly reel back. Instinctively your eyes are drawn to his pocketed hands and your imagination begins to run wild. "I-Is that so? G-Guess desperate times call for desperate measures!" The mysterious man opens his eyes and looks at you. "N-Not that there's anything wrong with that!"
"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you.... I'm Hit by the way."
"Hit huh? No last name?"
"No..."
"W-Well it's nice to meet you Mr Hit. I wanted to ask this from the Saiyans actually but what are you guys doing here? This is Champas planet, isn't it?"
"I'm just waiting for something. I was promised a vehicle for participating in the tournament. Once I have it I'll take my leave. I can't speak for them however. Apparently they wish to remain here to... train."
"They too?"
"Too?"
"He-Heeeeeee..." You laugh awkwardly.
"Forget I said that! Erm... How long have you been stuck here exactly?"
"A few hours."
"Then you all must be famished. How does a meal sound? My treat."
"Aren't you just some servant of Champa?"
"Technically I am his chef. Cooking is my job now I guess."
"Then I won't say no to your offer."
Suddenly the fight that's been going on behind your back stops as the magical F-word got dropped. "FOOD? Who said something about food?!" Caulifla asks.
"Me. If you're hungry then come with me."
What hostility there was a moment ago disappeared immediately. Not that you're complaining. Thanks to your tour you could recollect the location of the kitchen as well as the dining area. After seating the aliens down you withdrew to the kitchen and got to work.
The only question was... what to make?
Looking around you only managed to find all manners of alien ingredients. Meat from god knows what as well as a plethora of strange plants and spices. As you're sniffing one little canister of some strange white powder you are approached by a figure.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh... Vados. Nothing, I'm just familiarizing myself with my workstation. And all this stuff."
"Shall I inform Lord Champa of this? I think he might get cranky if he hears you cooked for everyone but him."
Swallowing nervously you nodded. "Yeah, of course!" But as she's about to leave you stop her. "Hey Vados..."
"Hmmm?"
"Could you help me? I could use a hand."
She pauses for a moment then cheerfully speaks up. "Sure."
And after leaving to notify her master she returns to you, ready to help with the work.
For the most part you just ask her about what are certain ingredients and how to use them. The actual preparation you do together and it's much more relaxed than when you were training. Though she appears to be doing the same work much better than you she seems to enjoy this trivial little timewaster.
After figuring out how some of the stuff in the fridge tastes and what you could make out of them you asked this. "Hey Vados. What does Champa actually like? I mean it'd be great to know his preferences."
"Well... One thing he's fond of is sugar and just sweetness in general."
"I guess I'm making dessert as well..."
Grabbing the biggest pot you could find you start filling it with water and Vados curiously inquires about your intentions. "What are you planning on making?"
"Something that's better the more you make of it. Some savory stew."
"And the main course?"
"This IS the main course. After it will come some light and sweet crepes with some whipped cream."
What you ended up with was a very hearty soup and enough dessert to feed a small army or so you thought. For upon serving it you beheld a most horrific sight as the fat cat and the three vegetable people devoured your creation mercilessly like a swarm of locust. You stare in awe at the disgusting display as Vados chuckles. "Oh my, it appears you made a gross miscalculation. Shall we join them too? Before they eat everything?"
"Y-Yes..."
After Vados, Hit and yourselves ate in moderation, mostly due to the astonishment caused by the other four you got to enjoy the sweet sound of praises being casually thrown around.
"Maaan that hit the spot!" Caulifla patted her belly. "I feel much better already! Come on Kale! Let's go and keep practicing!"
"Y-Yes sister!"
The two rush out like children returning to the playground after their meal and Champa begins stretching his arms. "Maaan I'm such a genius! Getting Earth back definitely was the smartest idea I've had in a while."
"But Lord Champa. Your idea was to take Universe 7s Earth for yourself. It was your brother who wished this one back."
"Shhhhhhhh! Shut up Vados! Anyway, nice job earthling! Keep up the good work and I may just reward you for your services!"
"We're already paying him a wage my lord."
"Come ooooon! Why you gotta ruin everything for me?!"
As the two deities begin exchanging verbal jabs... well mostly Vados keeps prodding Champa, Cabba actually claps his hands together and thanks you for the meal and Hit follows suit shortly afterwards. "Thank you for this meal Eric! It was really good!"
"No problem. It would've been a dick move on my part to not invite you guys."
"Say... I think with a talent like this you could do a lot of good in the SDF!"
Champa however hears this and he SNAPS.
"OY! You so much as touch my servant and I'm blowing your whole planet up you hear me?! He's mine!"
As Cabba backs down however something catches your attention. "SDF? What is that? Some sort of military?"
"Yes! The Sadala Defense Force! It is the largest peace keeping force in the entire universe."
"And you'd have me work in their mess hall?"
"N-No of course not! I mean that if you'd like to hone your skills you wouldn't find a better place! We have many warriors from various races. Mostly saiyans though. Even if you're not interested in joining I could get you in our many training centers! So what do you say? Interested?"
"Sorry, no can do."
"Huh?"
"I'm flattered but Vados has already taken me on as a student when I'm not working. Can't exactly turn my back on her now. I guess I could come by and test myself out when I'm stronger though. So I'll take that gym pass or whatever." Suddenly a deadly silence fills the room and the tension grows palpable. If someone were to drop a needle you'd surely be able to hear it. "What?"
"VADOS! WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Ohohohohoho! Guilty as charged I'm afraid."
"L-Lady Vados took you on as a student?!"
Cabba asks as he tries to pick up his jaw from the ground and even hit opens his eyes to look at you.
"JUST WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!
HE'S MY CHEF! DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT REPLACING ME WITH HIM!"
"I wouldn't dream of it my lord. But after our performance in the Tournament of Power I figured we might need some more talented fighters."
Champa then slowly turns towards you.
"And this runt is it? Whatever made you consider him and his inferior race... I just don't see it."
"Well. I think that sounds like a challenge.
What do you say my dear pupil? Care to do some training in front of a live audience?"
"Sure... But just a heads up. You probably won't see much. Vados is a good teacher but we had just one session."
"Ohohoho. Depends on your definition of impressive! Now let's go people. We have a show to attend!"
Going out with this small congregation of people following close by, you spot Caulifla and Kale doing what they were up to before with roughly the same amount of success. At least you can rest easy that at least not everyone will see your inevitable blunder.
Standing in front of your teacher and your audience you begin to question her. "So... what now? Another little trick? Or more reps for a warmup?"
"No, I think you've been warmed up for the entire day already. Now we'll work on what you've learned until you gain at least basic understanding of what you've already got.
I'd like you to try and touch me once. This will be your trial!"
She lets go of her staff and it starts floating next to her. Crossing her arms behind her back she makes it readily apparent that she won't be using her hands. And as you begin stretching your legs the others start conversing amongst themselves.
"Don't you think this is a bit...underwhelming?" Cabba asks.
"Fool." Champa responds. "At his current developmental level the human is no better than an animal compared to Vados.
Come to think of it. You all are. But he is especially bad. Even though his planet was resurrected I doubt they contributed in any way to our Mortal Level when Zeno ranked the universes. If he so much as got close to touching Vados that'd be a miracle in itself."
Hit just frowns at that as he observes you.
But with your stretching finished you start bouncing up and down as you raise your fists.
You don't know Vados enough to know this for sure, but you'd guess that this is more of a test of cunning like the last one.
Since by normal means you won't be able to get close to her.
You swipe your leg over the ground and kick up a little dirt as you assume the position Vados taught you. Letting out a smug smile before closing your eyes and mustering up your focus you speak up. "Let's do this!"
You spring forth, kicking yourself off the ground and with a push from behind accelerate yourself towards Vados.
Sliding over the ground like a puck on an air hockey table you accelerate to a reasonable speed before winding up a punch to throw at your instructor. Naturally she reacts with superhuman speed and begins to effortlessly dodge you before you even get a chance to actually throw a punch but too late for you to stop.
But fully expecting this you do something what most sensible people would describe as "Batshit insane". Letting out a smirk you focus fully around your body and grip it tight with your psychic powers. With just a bit more force applied to the upper half of your body you quickly begin spinning around like a pinwheel, causing your already extended leg to come up ready for the attack.
Your little maneuver does manage to catch the attention of Vados who quickly begins to backpedal. She flies back several paces before stopping and adjusting the one or two stray strands of hair that were now in her field of view.
"I assume hair is not fair game." You ask her jokingly.
"Sadly not. Since I have no control over it.
But a good attempt none the less!"
Meanwhile the spectators are just watching in dumb confusion. "I... I don't understand! I can barely sense his power! How's he moving like that?" Cabba observes.
"What did you do Vados?" Champa grumbles.
Hit then also speaks up suddenly. "Vados. What would an SDF scouter say about the average earthlings powerlevel?"
"Five!" She answers the assassin cheerfully.
"And with just one training session he can use psychic powers to this extent?" Hit asks and then... smiles.
You continue to push forwards, trying to gain ground on Vados who keeps continuously evading each and every strike with the greatest of ease, no matter how erratic and random your movements get as you toss your body around like a ragdoll trying to catch her off guard. It gets so bad that you are starting to get whiplash from the sudden direction changes. This increasing pressure forces you to reinforce your body further, your focus becoming sharper, the psychic barrier around your body slowly becoming visible through a dim purple glow.
But no matter how much you push yourself you don't appear to be getting closer to your goal. Not that it matters. Because you're starting to enjoy yourself!
However... one careless move is all it took for your concentration to fail. You came just a bit too close to the ground and your foot touched it. Normally that wouldn't be such a problem but at such a high velocity it certainly was painful as your leg slammed against the dirt.
Quickly you start tumbling towards the very edge of Champas planet and proceed to roll off of it at high speed. Vados sees this unfold and quickly gets concerned.
"Oh no!" She rushes over to you and catches you before you could fall into the infinite cosmos. Lifting you up she begins questioning you. "I've seen what happened! Are you hurt?"
Smiling smuggly you touch her hand. "Got you!"
"W-Wha?!"
"Hehe! Keikaku doori!"
"You see that Champa?" Hit asks. "That is why Vados picked him up. He may not have much. But he has potential."
"Hmph... well he technically cheated!"
As they grumble with each other you are brought over by Vados who then helps you sit down. She takes a quick look at your leg and begins to humm. "It's not bad. Definitely shouldn't put too much strain on it."
With a wave of her wand she encases it in a plaster like material and conjures a pair of crutches for you. "There. These should help you while it heals. With a bit of medication I'd say you'll be good as new in a few days!
Until then you'll have to take it easy."
"I'll try. But I still got a job to do."
"Well good thing then that it's your leg that's broken and not your arms!"
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