Capítulo 107: Blueberry ice cream
Sitting next to Monica and watching her glare at the pancakes on her plate like they owe her money is a little comical. The little girl seems to be trying very hard to keep up her bad mood but the delicious pancakes are getting in the way of her doing so.
I look back at the menu that Pata pressed into my hands when I said that I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat as a snack. The selection on the thirty-page pamphlet is baffling especially when considering that everything is served by Pata himself. Perhaps he has a few apprentices hidden in the back of his kitchen.
<Absolutely not. The only living being that is allowed to enter that kitchen is Pata himself and maybe Darwin if he forces it. Anyone else will immediately get placed on Pata's list of ingredients. Darwin once sent a young scylla to become Pata's apprentice but the only outcome was a change in that evening's dinner menu.>
Wow. Remind me never to step into Pata's kitchen if I ever forget.
<Don't worry too much. You would only die in the most horrible ways imaginable before being respawned. Your old body would also despawn so no one would be able to eat you.>
That is not calming at all! How can you say I will die horribly like it's nothing?
<You'll grow numb to the pains of death eventually. Everyone does. It may sound scary now but with every time you are killed the pain you feel will decrease until nothing but a dull ache remains. Some lose their minds because of it. They can't take the numbness and end up hurting themselves in those exact horrible ways just to feel something.>
Can we talk about something else? I'm still trying to eat here.
<Sure, what do you want? Anything that strikes your fancy on the menu?>
Hmm, let's see. Sachertorte is a bit too overpowering, parfaits look good but I don't feel like it... TUB of ice cream? Why is tub written in all capital letters?
<Pata got frustrated at the speed Darwin was able to consume ice cream so he decided to increase the serving size.>
So, how much is it?
<3 kilograms>
Bullshit! Won't you get brain frost from consuming that much?
<We are monsters and a high enough constitution stat allows you to eat nearly everything. Though 3 kilograms of ice cream may still be a little too much for you.>
Too much? Challenge accepted.
"PATA one TUB of blueberry-flavored ice cream!"
"Oh, we have a challenger I see. One TUB of blueberry-flavored ice cream coming right up."
A tentacle approaches with a rectangular metal tub with rounded edges. The tub is placed before me with a resounding thud and Pata's voice drawls out from the kitchen area.
"Large spoon or REAL spoon?"
Is that another thing that happened because of Darwin?
<When Pata increased the serving size of ice cream Darwin complained that the large spoons were too small for him and hindered his exquisite dining experience. Pata got so enraged that he commissioned an extra plus-sized large spoon from Hippo.>
"I'll go with the large spoon."
I have no intention whatsoever to go along with Darwin's madness. Just because he decided he needed a bigger spoon doesn't mean I have to do so too.
"Very good. Finally someone with some common sense!"
Any comment on that, Navi?
<After Darwin did it everyone else wanted to try too. And why take the large spoon when there is a bigger one.>
And how did that work out?
<Stop being so smug about it. I admit, eating with that spoon isn't enjoyable in the slightest but how could we have known?>
Didn't you watch Darwin eat with that spoon?
<It looked so effortless when he did it! You should have seen the way he used that spoon to shovel ice cream into his mouth.>
Yeah, thank you but no thank you.
I take the large spoon from one of Pata's tentacles and begin to wonder just how big that other spoon is. No matter!
Steeling my resolve I dig into the solid three kilograms of blueberry ice cream. The taste is heavenly as the cool fruity sensation spreads through my mouth. The ice cream has been cooled perfectly so that it's neither too frosty nor half-melted.
The tub before me quickly grows less and less full until I slam down the spoon onto the clean metal bottom. That's weird, I don't even feel that full yet... Navi, did something happen?
<...>
Don't ignore me! If you don't talk that just makes it more obvious that something is wrong.
<There's nothing wrong. It's just... look at your status.>
Status Jade Lv. 12 sanguine snake
Mp 10+21+70
Strength 3+21+5
Constitution 3+21+3
Speed 6+21+7
Magic ability 5+21+3
Skills:
universal humanoid language, universal monster language, dungeon map, thermal detection
Sanguine bite lv. 3; blood-stealing constriction lv. 2; weak sanguine venom lv. 3; enhanced stamina lv. 5; sanguine boost lv. 3; stealth lv.1; energy fang lv.4; hardened scales lv.2; tail whip lv.2; heat resistance lv.3; blood magic lv.3; group fight tactics lv.1; digestion of the great serpent lv.1
A digestion skill? Is that all?
<Is that all? Don't make it sound like it's nothing. That skill allows you to store energy like a snake but without all the bloating effects.>
Sounds handy and all but not that great. Time to get going.
I hop off my chair and saunter out of the employee dining hall. Better leave before my brain melts enough to want more ice cream. I never noticed before but the white hallways of the VR dungeons HQ are strangely soothing.
<Oh, you noticed? We are very proud of this feature. We call it blank blanc because looking at this color allows your mind to go blank. It's good for relaxing after a tiring VR session.>
Status de energia semanal
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