Capítulo 4: The Weight of Emotions

Silently observing that the interaction between her first and second daughter was over, Felix piped up. “Where can I go?” Her eyes and voice overflowed with fighting spirit. However, it only seemed to exasperate Audrey and Noah.

Back when Felix was still a student, she never failed to claim the title of school bully. However, unlike stereotypical bullies, Felix never oppressed the students or robbed them of their lunch or money. Instead, she beat down the students who were disruptive in classes, protected her fellow students from outside threats, and restored peace and order to the school. Due to her accumulation of good deeds, Felix was seen as a godsend to the disciplinary team and the teachers faculty.

The contrast between her school title and her actions baffled the students and teachers alike. But as time passed, they soon understood how she came to be the school bully.

Felix was a fighting addict, but she was good natured. She believed it to be against her values to fight against a harmless person, so she sought out people whom she could fight with on fair grounds. This inadvertently made all the bullies and hooligans her prime target. Luckily for Felix, her natural talent in fighting allowed her to bring home victory most of the time.

It made sense how she ended up snatching the title of school bully.

No matter how much time had passed, Felix’s innate attraction to chaos never waned. Hence, whenever there was even a whiff of a fight around her, she always managed to find a way to get involved.

Noah attempted to help Audrey in redirecting Felix’s energy. “Sweetie, how about sparring with me instead?”

Felix scowled at Noah’s suggestion and spat out, “either you get to limit my range of activity or I’ll freely roam wherever the fight leads me to. I personally think that the first option is in your best interest.”

“Sweetie-”

Felix cut off Noah and challenged him, “you know best what happens if I’m left to my own devices.”

She then ignored Noah’s sulking and turned to Audrey.

“So, where can I go?”

Audrey sighed and compromised, “you can join Juliet. However, you must listen to her instructions and follow Team 1’s operation style. You must not stand out in any way. If you lose control and break this condition, you’re forbidden from joining in the rest of the fight.”

“I can control myself perfectly well, what do you take me for?” Felix crossed her arms and huffed.

Noah, Audrey, and Evangeline stared dismally at Felix, the countless memories of finding Felix in the middle of fights and its disastrous aftermath filled them with distrust.

“Mum… Please, hold back.” Evangeline pleaded on behalf of Audrey. The images of Felix’s victims flitted past her eyes.

The smallest injury dated till now was enough to render them hospitalised for 3 months. This itself was enough to testify for Felix’s tendency to go overboard.

Felix faltered from the stares of her daughters and husband and began doubting herself. Upon further reflection, she then relented and reigned in her eagerness.

“... I’ll try.” Felix promised weakly.

Audrey sighed, “that’s good enough.”

Audrey felt grateful for Evangeline’s ability to make their mother reflect on her actions. She couldn’t entrust anyone to keep an eye on Felix, not even their father. Noah had proven to be too unreliable to keep their mother under control.

When Audrey was still naive and believed in Noah, it resulted in him helping Felix wreck an even bigger havoc and covering for her. Audrey only learnt of this after one incident spiralled out of Noah’s control and he failed to cover it up. She lost her cool for the first time, and banned their involvement in the Syndicate’s activities for 2 years. Since then, she never trusted anyone to keep Felix under control.

Felix coughed in embarrassment and found an excuse to escape from Audrey’s accusatory eyes. Noah trailed after his wife, leaving Audrey and Evangeline alone at the dining table. They drank their tea in silence, seeking refuge in the comfort they found in the other’s presence.

A soft clink of porcelain interrupted the silence and Evangeline gently addressed Audrey’s worry.

“If you’re still worried, dad wouldn’t mind you asking for his help. In fact, you know he’ll be more than glad to.”

Audrey accepted Evangeline’s concern and attempt to console her. The image of a calm and collected woman wavered and crumbled under Evangeline’s softness.

Audrey whispered under her breath, “I can’t. If I get father involved, I’ll never win the acknowledgement of those sexist old fools for the rest of my life.”

The guilt and burden that had been hiding in her heart was exposed, and it started to multiply and grow rapidly under the light.

Evangeline frowned at the sight of Audrey's mental health cracking from the pressure of inheriting Noah’s position. As heart-breaking as it was, this was unfortunately unavoidable. It was something Audrey would have to go through, and hopefully come out stronger.

The only support Evangeline could provide for Audrey was to create a safe space for her to put her guard down, freely express herself, and breathe. And when it looks like Audrey is beginning to lose sight of herself, she will remind Audrey of the love and support she’s surrounded with.

“Like how you make your decisions, we make ours too. Juliet chose to fully utilise her talent in the frontlines and she understands what kind of position that puts you in. No matter what happens, no one will blame you. Not her, not us, and neither should you.

Our love is not fragile. We’ll always be there for you, Audrey, no matter your decision and growth.” Evangeline softly reminded her.

Audrey’s pupils dilated, and her fingers holding the tea cup trembled. She broke eye contact and dropped her head to stare at the half-empty tea cup.

Evangeline remained silent to give space for Audrey to think.

As Evangeline's tea was about to finish, Audrey mumbled. “We all make our own decisions, and I made mine the moment I took up father’s expectations of me.”

Audrey looked up and the light in her eyes reassured Evangeline.

“You’ve found your answer.” Evangeline smiled tenderly.

Audrey smiled and corrected Evangeline. “No, you helped me remember the decision I had made long ago. Thank you, Evangeline.”

Evangeline’s light laughter tinkled in Audrey’s ears.

As Audrey stood up, her demeanor changed, from a vulnerable sister who was confiding in another sister, back to a confident and steady leader.

She walked over to Evangeline and lightly squeezed her shoulder. Audrey’s icy eyes burned with a fierce light as she made a promise to Evangeline. “I’ll protect Juliet, nothing will happen to her as long as I’m alive.”

It was her turn to reassure Evangeline, like what a good older sister would do.

Evangeline looked up and took Audrey’s hands into hers. She held it firmly as her body heat warmed up Audrey’s slightly cooler hand. Her smile subtly changed into an endearing one with relief visible in her eyes.

“I know you will.”

A gentle smile graced Audrey’s lips and her cold features warmed up a little.

Evangeline patted Audrey’s hands before letting them go.

Audrey walked back to her seat, downed the remaining tea, then briskly returned to her study room. No doubt ready to burn the midnight oil, once more.

Evangeline picked up her cup, slowly drinking the unfinished tea with only her light breathing left to keep her company in the large dining room. Without warning, Evangeline’s unchanging gentle and amiable atmosphere turned sinister and bloodthirsty.

There was an itch in her bones, and the desire to see red, turbulent in her heart. She rubbed her fingers together, easing the itch to a bearable degree.

Her lowered eyelids did nothing to hide the violent brutality rampaging underneath the calm surface in her sea-blue eyes. She sighed as she muttered under her breath, “too bad I can’t touch those old fogeys…”

After Evangeline finished her tea, she stood up and made her way to the lift. Slow and steady footsteps echoed in the empty corridor.

She pressed the button leading to the family mansion’s underground prison, and patiently waited for the doors to open.

As the lift doors slid open, the familiar dark corridor with little lighting greeted her and swallowed her figure the deeper she walked in.

Not long after Evangeline disappeared in the murky darkness, anguished moans cried and screeched. The only discernible phrase that repeated like a broken radio was, “please, kill me!”

She looked on coldly at the writhing lump of flesh on the wooden table, vaguely resembling the outline of a human body, instinctively trying to run away from the pain.

She immersed her senses in the cries mixed in the bloody air, and with her eyes closed, she turned the crank on the torture device without mercy. The louder the screams, the bigger she smiled.

Just as the mess on the table was stretched to its limit and about to tear apart, Evangeline let go of the tension and the prisoner was left teetering on the line between life and death. Moans of anguish echoed around the steel walls, intermittently begging for death.

Evangeline remained staring at the mess lying lifelessly on the floor. The only sign of vitality was the faint rising and falling of its chest. She didn’t remember how long she stood there. She was only vaguely aware of the increasing soreness in her legs.

Just then, a gentle voice coaxed her from behind the closed steel door.

“Baby girl, let’s go back, it’s late.” Noah called out to her under the only light outside the cell.

Evangeline turned around with a dead expression and silently stared at the door. After a few seconds, she closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

Though she wasn’t able to get any fresh air from the room she remained in, light reignited in her dead eyes. She then walked out, carrying the scent of death that stubbornly clung on to her delicate body.

“Okay.” Evangeline exhaled, her chest still feeling heavy from the oppression.

Noah patted her on the back, then personally escorted her back to her room.

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