Capítulo 17: Pack
Natalie rubbed her temples, eyeing the small boy on the couch across from her with a weary sort of resignation. Said boy grinned back sunnily at the woman, innocent as an angel. She sighed.
"Ben," She started longsufferingly, "did you and Gwen have a fight?" Goodness gracious, the boy looked scandalized at the very suggestion.
"Aunt Nat! I'll have you know that Gwen and I can resolve our differences without fighting." He asserted, with a mock indignation that Natalie knew he'd learned straight from Gwen. It took all her willpower to not laugh. Right, you two never fight after all.
"Ben, there's a large bruise on the side of your face-"
"Chain reaction accident. Those'll get you every time-"
"-and Gwen came back home on Monday with a black eye." Natalie remarked, pointedly. She could see the boy's mouth quirk when she said the word 'home', but afterwards he winced.
"Err, yeah, about that-"
"Ben." She rebuked, torn between sighing and laughing.
"Alright alright!" The boy defended, holding up his hands. "We sparred." He explained and… what?
"You sparred?" She asked, incredulous, distantly recalling Frank mentioning something to that effect a while back. Ben grinned.
"Oh did we ever. Gotta keep in shape." The boy flexed teasingly, his small arms lean. He grimaced though. "We may have gotten a little carried away. Sorry."
Natalie pinched the bridge of her nose. "Because nothing says 'true love' like beating each other up." She muttered. Frank, you romantic idiot. Ben laughed at that, of all things, giving her an odd look.
"Well duh. She's willing to put up with training with me so that I'm less of a wimp in a fight." He pointed out and that… was actually a good point.
Natalie sat back, notebook in her lap, tapping her pen against her lips, giving the boy a considering look. "Do you often need to fight, Ben?" She asked, dropping her previous line of questioning and jumping straight into another.
Ben sagged back into the couch pillows himself, clearly noting that the session had begun in earnest. He considered the question for a long moment, looking past her. "I…" He ran a hand through his hair. "More than I'd like." He looked her in the eye. "Can we save that for another time?" He asked, strangely timid, like he expected to be shot down.
Natalie smiled instead. "Of course we can. You set the pace, remember?" The boy slumped a little in relief. She made a note to ask about it later though. 'Fights a lot?' She had to wonder why Ben had so much conflict in his life, or at all for that matter. Bullies? Hadn't he said that the bullies left him alone ever since those girls started hanging out with him? Yes, she'd have to get back on that another time.
"I did want to ask you something else." She started, glad to see the boy's attention refocus, the closed off expression giving way to curious openness. "Normally, therapy starts out with your therapist getting to know you, get a handle on who you are as well why you're here." She smiled, a touch rueful. "I think it's safe to say that we know each other fairly well."
Ben snickered. "Well yeah, you do seem a tad familiar. Have we met before?" Natalie suspected that the levity was more for the sake of giving him some breathing space than for the sake of being funny, strengthening her perception that Ben might be employing humor as a defense mechanism rather than anything else. She rolled her eyes indulgently.
"I think we saw each other at a Christmas party once. Last year?" She wondered, lips quirking. Ben snapped his fingers.
"Right! Now I remember you! How've you been, ma'am?" This time Natalie did laugh.
"Quite well, thank you. What brings a little boy like you here?" She returned, eyes focusing on his face. Ben didn't even flinch, but she could tell that the lad knew exactly what she was asking. He hesitated for only a second.
"Eh, I haven't been feeling well, lately." He held up his left hand, displaying the disarmed bomb, shrugging. "Figured I'd get help before it gets any worse."
Natalie nodded, the reminder of just how serious this was dimming what little joy they'd generated. "How have you been feeling, then?" She asked, knowing full well that it was a loaded question. But sensitive as the topic was, they needed to get it out in the open. If they couldn't even acknowledge why he was here, seeking help, they wouldn't get anywhere at all.
Ben turned still, eyes averted to the floor, seeming to fight down the instinctual desire to lie, or to clamp up, as both he and Gwen had ever since they came back home (or even before). After almost a minute of quiet, Ben finally answered her, a soft word floating from his mouth to her ears.
"Scared." He admitted, tension draining out of him. He grinned ruefully for a moment. It was a fake expression, done only for form. "I'm scared, and that makes me panic. Shocker, huh?"
Natalie hummed in agreement. This was not quite new to either of them, but it still needed to be established between them. "Can you tell me more about this fear of yours?"
Ben was again silent in the face of her question, this time for a solid three minutes. She didn't push him. She could do that in later sessions. For now, they had to get through this one without antagonizing him; she needed to prove to Ben that this could work. Finally, Ben exhaled a shuddering breath. "I'm scared of-" his eyes flicked to the bomb on his wrist, "of this thing starting to tick again, of people" he swallowed. "that I love getting caught up in the mess around it. Of them getting hurt."
Natalie nodded again, recalling that Frank had told her that Ben felt personally responsible when people around him got hurt; at least where Gwen was concerned. Max had confirmed that when asked. And though he talked about people he loved in a general sense… "Has anyone you loved ever gotten hurt, Ben?"
Ben scoffed, though she could see him tense. "Yeah, I recall this one time during the summer when grandpa stubbed his toe and oh boy-"
"Ben." She rebuked. There was a difference between pushing and forcing him to take this seriously, after all. He grimaced, falling silent.
"...yeah, they have." Ben admitted, and Natalie could tell there was a virtual library of things that were left unsaid in that sentence alone, and she couldn't even begin to untangle it. Hopefully, Ben would let her try. For now, she was trying very hard not to linger on how people he loved had gotten hurt, especially when she knew that one of the people that had gotten hurt had been her daughter. Much as she wanted to dig deeper as a mother, she was not a mother or an aunt right now. She was a therapist and she had one patient before her and he needed her help just as much as, if not more than, her daughter did.
"Worrying about loved ones is perfectly normal." She pointed out. "Why does this worry make you so anxious that it makes you panic, though?"
Ben looked at her, already seeming very tired. And sad. She didn't know what he was thinking; whether he was asking himself that very question, or that he already knew the answer and was considering whether or not to share it with her. Taking a leap of faith, she put her notebook and pen to the side, got up from her couch to sit down beside Ben on his, resting a hand on his shoulder.
He tensed under the touch, though whether in surprise or discomfort, she couldn't tell. She hoped it was the first. "I don't need a full story, Ben." She told him, smiling in what she hoped was a comforting way. This was always more Frank's strong suit, and she'd never have done anything like this with another patient. But at the end of the day, Ben was a child. "I only need enough to understand what you feel, nothing more."
Ben looked at her for a long moment before tears welled up in his eyes and he looked down. His lips worked soundlessly for a bit before he finally managed to speak up, so soft she barely heard it. "I'm afraid that they'll get hurt again when the monsters come."
Natalie desperately wanted to write off that statement as dramatics, but instead it left her blood chilled. She soldiered past it, feeling that he'd clamp up if she pressed him on this. But that didn't mean she couldn't learn more.
"You feel responsible for Gwen's wellbeing." It wasn't a question, and Ben had the good grace not to deny it. It made sense, in a way. Ben was just about the only thing that could consistently calm Gwen down when she was not doing well. It stood to reason that as a result the boy would feel like it was his responsibility to look after her. Perhaps Gwen's trauma occurred first, and Ben was already feeling responsible when his happened. But it did beg the question…
"Does she feel responsible for your wellbeing as well?" Because she'd seen enough of Ben to know that Frank was completely right about the fact that the boy cared very deeply for Gwen. But her daughter had always been good at playing her cards close to the chest-
Ben actually smiled at her question, face lighting up and for a moment he looked so happy she thought he might burst. "Yeah, she cares too."
Natalie was quiet for a moment, taking in the information, before she spoke up again. There was something slightly off here. "I think we can safely say that while Gwen cares about you, whatever is causing her to panic as she does is not about you per se. Just like your trauma is not just about her. But her wellbeing is clearly more intertwined with what's causing yours." She surmised. While Ben looked faintly uncomfortable with her assessment, he did not deny it.
"So, why is her wellbeing a large part of her trauma, whereas it seems that for her, it's not?" She winced inwardly at how confrontational that sounded, like there was something wrong about how much Ben cared when Gwen cared about something else, but the boy did not seem to take it that way; which was just as well because it was blatantly obvious that Gwen cared a lot about him too. It was just that while it seemed that their traumas were linked, their causes were not. Ben averted his gaze to the floor, huddling in on himself, his happiness abruptly shifting to what could only be described as bone-crushing guilt.
Minutes ticked by as the boy said nothing, to the point that Natalie thought he wasn't going to answer. "Because she never failed to keep me safe." He confessed, quietly.
Before Natalie's mind could start reeling from the implications of that, Ben stiffened beside her, suddenly alert. It was then that she heard the front door slam shut loudly. Both Ben and her were on their feet and racing toward the hallway half a second later, Ben slightly ahead, turning the corner to find-
Funny, really, in a morbid way, how Gwen tackling Ben to the ground felt more or less like watching someone get hit by a truck. She would have laughed if her little girl wasn't crying her eyes out, and for a moment she really wished Frank was here. He was the one that got Gwen when she was this distraught; Natalie could never quite manage to. Even Sandra could do a better job than her in that regard.
Then again, she considered as Ben wrapped his arms around the tiny girl and holding her as close as was humanely possible, they had the next best thing coming around the house a lot these days. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that they had the very best thing around, as Gwen melted into the embrace and buried her face in Ben's neck. The boy looked back up at Natalie with a somewhat embarrassed grin and Natalie rolled her eyes. She wasn't even going to pretend that things like this surprised her anymore.
The exchange of looks was interrupted by Gwen haltingly speaking up. "I-" She sniffed. "Marci pushed me into some bushes and-" she hiccuped, "-I got stuck." The girl finished, miserably, looking so, so very small.
Natalie flinched when the words sank in. She knew enough about what triggered Gwen to know that that was a literal nightmare scenario. Little wonder that she'd all but dashed into Ben's arms. Speaking of which, the boy tensed tremendously, nostrils flaring in anger and his eyes becoming murderous-
Then it was gone and he was back to stroking Gwen's back and telling her that it was okay, that she was fine, that she was safe. Natalie smiled. The kid hadn't been joking when he said Gwen's wellbeing was important to him, and he clearly had his priorities right.
After a while, Gwen stood up, a looking drained, and Ben followed suit. The girl smiled weakly and reached out to cradle Ben's cheek and that was… quite a tender little moment they had there. Ben flushed slightly, pointedly looking in Natalie's direction, a look Gwen followed before retracting her hand as if burned.
"Err, hi, mom." The girl greeted nervously, seemingly just noticing her. The nervousness was a bit odd though; this was hardly the first time the two had been caught being cuddly, and Natalie had no idea what changed. She'd break her brain about that one later, there was enough coming at her as it was.
"Hello to you too, little carrot." Natalie returned. She could ask about what happened at school, but if it was big enough, the school had probably already contacted Frank and she'd hear about it later. For now… "If you're not feeling well, you two can just stay in and watch a movie, you know." And not go to that Halloween party. It'd be a pity since they already bought the costume, but if Gwen was doing this bad...
"No!" Gwen exclaimed, looking worried and shooting Ben a slightly distraught look. "I'm fine, it was just, you know, one of those triggers you told us about. I got it under control, it just took a little longer without Ben there-"
"How long?" Ben interrupted softly, giving Gwen a very pointed look. The girl faltered.
"Not that long." She defended, weakly, not meeting her cousin's eyes. Ben reached out to clasp her small hand, giving it a squeeze, and just like that, Gwen folded like a deck chair. "Twenty minutes, give or take." She confessed, barely above a whisper. Her cousin closed his eyes, inhaled deeply before releasing the breath.
"Why didn't you-?" He grit out, before Gwen interrupted.
"Because I couldn't think." Gwen answered his unfinished question with a somewhat helpless look, and Ben's mouth snapped shut, looking equally helpless.
Gwen sighed, looking torn between wanting to be anywhere but where she was, and precisely nowhere else. It was a very strange look. "I'm going to clean up; you staying for dinner?" She asked, glancing at Natalie as well as Ben, looking so hopeful that it made Natalie ache.
Ben shot the woman a questioning look, and having two pairs of those huge eyes pleading with her at once should be against the law. It just wasn't fair. Natalie rubbed her temple. "Don't you need to pick up your costume for the party at home?" She tried, already knowing that he'd find some way to weasel out of it and find some way to stay with Gwen for longer, and already knowing that she'd allow it. She couldn't say she was surprised at the prospect either, or that she hadn't bought enough spaghetti to feed an extra mouth already.
"Eh no I totally got that covered. No need to go back to my house." The boy replied with a grin.
"...fine, he can stay." Honestly, the way Gwen's face lit up was proof enough that it was the right choice. And someone had told her a year ago that one day, Gwen would actually cheer when told that Ben could stay over for dinner, she'd have called them mad.
And here they were. "Go clean up." Natalie told the girl, suppressing a grin of her own. In response Gwen made to go up the stairs, but when the boy made to follow, Natalie stopped him. Turning to her daughter, she told her that she needed to wrap up some things with regards to the session and that she'd let him go shortly. With one long look passing between them, Gwen disappeared up the stairs and Ben turned his curious gaze on his aunt.
She in turn looked down at the boy before inclining her head. "You did good today." She told him. Sure, she'd have liked to discuss the homework she gave him to see how he was dealing with managing his own panic attacks, but the blunt fact of the matter was that therapy was a conversation, and you hardly ever control a conversation entirely. They'd get back to that some other time. "Your homework is still the same, and I'll see you next week. Agreed?"
The boy saluted, but for all the joking behind the move it was also serious. "Sir yes sir!"
Natalie rolled her eyes again. After a moment of contemplation, she spoke up hesitantly. "You two get through an attack mostly by touch, right?" She asked. Part of her felt like even asking was intruding upon something deeply personal, but that probably had more to do with how… intense, Ben and Gwen could get. Neither of them was the type do anything by halves, including giving comfort.
Ben seemed surprised at the change of topic, but rolled with it, nodding quietly. "Try talking to her a bit more." She suggested. "When someone is stuck in their own head, comfort is already a great help, but it also important that they continuously have something other than their panic to focus on." She held up her hand. "It's just a suggestion though; if this works for you, than that's all that matters."
Ben wasn't looking at her, instead his gaze was fixed where Gwen had disappeared up the stairs, eyes distant, before nodding to himself. "I'll do that next time." He promised, deadly serious. "If it helps..." He shrugged, but the message was clear. If it could help, he'd do it, and that was all there was to it. Not waiting for her leave to go, he ran up the stairs before she could even protest. Not that she would have.
Making her way back into the living room, she sat back on her couch and massaged a sore neck. She'd learned a lot today, both about Ben and Gwen's trauma, and she was sure that when she sat down to work out what she'd gleaned in the coming days, it would give her even more to work with. The thought that Gwen had gotten hurt first, and that Ben's protectiveness was the result of that was one such consideration. However…
"I'm scared of this thing starting to tick again, of people that I love getting caught up in the mess around it. Of them getting hurt."
Natalie sighed, closing her eyes and laying her head against the headrest.
"Because she never failed to keep me safe."
There was also the chance that Gwen had gotten hurt because of this mysterious 'mess' Ben referred to, and that the guilt Ben felt and the sense of responsibility was because of that. But to be certain of that, she'd have to learn the order of events, and she had a feeling that Gwen might be better for that than Ben was.
And once she knew that, she could start piecing together what happened and slowly ease them into confirming, or denying it. And she could roast Max again, because if this thing was half as bad as it sounded, she was going to need to vent at someone.
Gwen sucked in a breath of cool night air. Her witch hat blocked the street lighting overhead, and her robes kept her warm against the mild October chill. She put on a small smile as she waited for Ben to return from where he was 'changing into his costume' in the bushes, and for Anna and Lizzie to arrive so that they could go trick or treating for a few blocks before ending up at the party at Anna's house.
It should have been a fun prospect. It still was. Even if Ben undoubtedly had picked some alien as his costume and she wanted to strangle him for that one because how the heck where they going to explain any of his forms?! 'Oh no, he's not really on fire, that'd be super irresponsible!' Right. Good sell, that. But that aside, it should have been a fun idea to spend the night with her friends and boyfriend. And doofy cousin who was pulling double duty.
But in all honesty she really just wanted to huddle up with Ben somewhere quiet and sleep for a week. Today had drained her, and she still felt frail as a result. She shook herself, trying to banish the flashes of the bushes all around her, scraping at her skin, crunching where she touched them, engulfing her like-
Gwen whimpered miserably. Please, please just stop. She pleaded to herself, hoping against hope that Ben would be back soon because she couldn't stand the idea of having another meltdown in public and oh no there her heart went again-
"Helloooo cutie pie!" Lizzie greeted, glomping her and picking her up from the pavement as she did. "You're looking magical tonight." She complimented with an utterly sleazy grin and all of it gave Gwen such a strong sense of vertigo that she actually felt aware enough to focus on the smaller girl instead of herself.
"Hey Lizzie." Gwen replied, tiredly. The small girl was dressed in robes like her, but different, browns and beige, more akin to… "Are you a Jedi?" The redhead asked when Lizzie put her down. The brunette grinned back, pulling out a goofy green lightsaber.
"Know it you do, baby. Hey, if you ditch the hat, I can get you a sword of your own and we can be nerds together! You already got the robes anyway."
Gwen was about to reply when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked back to find what had to be Anna in a very good Darth Vader costume. "No, child, you must come to the dark side instead." Was that a voice distorter? Awesome. "We have cookies."
The redhead shrugged apologetically at Lizzie, feeling much better now that she wasn't alone anymore. "Sorry Liz, but that's a no-brainer-"
A blur shot out from the bushes, tackling her to the ground and- "Eww Ben, don't lick my face!" Gwen yelled, pushing the blue face of Blitzwolfer's first stage away from her. Ben snickered, smirking in her face, and she had to admit that the fangs did add a nice touch to it. And, she had to concede, it was probably the only alien form Ben had that could pass for a costume… even if she had no idea how he even unlocked it again.
"Told you I had it covered." He growled, teasingly.
Gwen scoffed, placing a foot on his chest and firmly pushing him off. "Get off, fuzzball, I don't want your fleas." Ben whimpered pathetically and slinked over to hide behind Lizzie who was gaping at him in unabashed admiration.
"That is amazing!" She gushed, reaching down to pet Ben, a move that caused him to tap his foot (paw?) in appreciation. "You gotta teach me how you did the make up! This looks so real! And how did you do those nails?" Lizzie's face turned deadly serious. "First the singing, now this? We have got to sign you up for the drama club."
Ben snickered, nuzzling into the petting touch. "Trade secret. Can't tell. And no flipping way, there's enough drama in my life. Can you do that thing behind the ear again?" Darn, the puppies eyes were terribly effective right now, and he wasn't even using them on her… yet. Oh boy.
Gwen gagged. "If she starts giving you belly-rubs, I'm gonna hurl."
Lizzie waggled her brows at Gwen. "Don't you mean 'I'm going to be very jealous of Lizzie that I didn't think of it first?'" She asked, innocently.
Before Gwen could point out that she really wasn't jealous of staying away from Ben's itchiness (she recalled his first transformation all to well), Darth Anna gave the redhead a thumbs up. "I got this." Before raising her hand and pinching her index finger and thumb together. Lizzie immediately mimed suffocation, clawing at her throat as she stumbled over to Gwen before dramatically falling into her arms.
"Remember me," the little girl rasped, "as a parasite of society."
"Eww, parasites! Yuck." Gwen dropped the girl like a hot potato, which caused Anna to actually laugh (and Gwen patted herself on the back for that one, because getting that girl to laugh was not that easy). Ben, on the other hand, was eyeing her… hungrily? She raised a brow at him, adjusting her hat. "What is it, doofus?" She asked, coolly. At least she hoped it was. Really this time. She felt collected enough-
Ben smirked at her, fangs glinting and eyes glowing from the light from the streetlamp, padding over to her and rising to his feet. Which, in this form, meant he was standing on the balls of his feet, and even slightly hunched, she had to angle her gaze up at him now and-
Okay, maybe she wasn't quite playing it cool anymore. Ben's smirk widened, and he leaned in- but stopped just shy of her face. "That cold blooded indifference is really hot."
...yup, definitely not playing it cool anymore. On the ground, she heard Lizzie snicker. "Oh Ben, you dog." Which caused a pained groan from Anna, who clutched her chest.
"You are so lucky that you're endearing." The blonde muttered, pinching the mask as if it was the bridge of her nose. Gwen only barely registered all of this, eyes still on Ben and very tempted either smack him for being so forward or take him up on it and when he started leaning in she had to act fast-
Putting a hand over his mouth, she grumpily glared at him. "No. I'm not making out with a dog, or anything like it. I'm drawing a line." No aliens, doofus.
She could feel Ben smirk against the palm of her hand and faintly felt him nip at the skin. "You're the boss, babe." Fine, spoilsport.
She pulled her hat over her face in an attempt to hide her flush at that little pet name, but Ben's amused huffs told her she'd failed already. "Let's go!" She squeaked, before stomping off. Hearing nails click behind her and then beside her, she glanced down to find that Ben was on all fours again, easily keeping pace. If he had a tail, it would probably be wagging. Glancing over her shoulder to find that Anna and Lizzie were a bit back, she muttered to him "How did you even…?"
Ben grinned up at her. "Figured it out with Ghostfreak when I was roaming in the Omnitrix. Grey Matter worked out the kinks. It wasn't really what I was looking for, but not gonna pass it up either."
"Huh." Gwen reached down to pet his hair. "Good boy." Ben scoffed, nipping at her fingers. She grinned. Maybe tonight wouldn't be as terrible as she thought it'd be.
The next hour or so held true to that hope. As they meanderingly made their way to Anna's place, trick or treating as they went, Gwen quickly started feeling better. Even as both her and Ben found out that this form of his came with an overabundance of racing energy and an enormous appetite. It was much more than just a costume, after all. Gwen ended up funneling most of her spoils to him. After two houses, though, she started taking the offered healthy treats that people often kept around for kids that didn't like candy.
Gwen smirked as Ben 'wolfed down' more fruit in ten minutes than she'd seen him eat all summer. When he glared at her, she shrugged. "You're already scruffy, no need for you to get scurvy as well."
And then they got to one of the last houses before Anna's (or so the black-clad girl claimed) and Gwen was treated to the sight of one very little girl opening the door, her grandmother looming behind her. The girl thought Anna and Lizzie were awesome, she thought Gwen was beautiful (a sentiment Gwen rewarded by creating a magical butterfly of light, because she was a witch darn it and she could always say it was a magic trick) and Ben…
"It's a giant puppy!" The little dark skinned girl squealed, eagerly reaching for Ben's face as he sat on his haunches. The boy leaned down to sniff at the approaching hands, before leaning in closer and sniffing her small face, to the toddler's loud delight. Gwen just shook her head at him, but couldn't hold back a laugh when the toddler climbed onto Ben's back and he raced her around the yard. Absolute doofus.
Lizzie waggled her eyebrows at Gwen while Ben raced around, smirking. "Would you look at that. He's good with kids."
Gwen flushed and spluttered, because for crying out loud they were ten, earning her laughter from everyone, including the older woman. "Oh this is just adorable." The lady remarked as she turned her head. "Bernard honey, come see this!"
Gwen felt her blood run cold, smile dropping every muscle in her body freezing as her mind stuttered to a halt. No. No way. No flipping-
The dark skinned bearded man lumbered up to stand beside his wife, snickering when Ben came to a screeching halt near the door and let the toddler climb off- before freezing as she had when he spotted the man too. Bernard's eyes lit up, face crinkling as he smiled. "Well, if it isn't Max's-"
"Yes, its us, surprise!" Gwen interrupted, grinning. She hoped it didn't look as manic as it felt. "But we really gotta go, see you!" With that she grabbed Anna by the cape while Ben quite literally tossed Lizzie over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She didn't need to look to know that they were watching them all go with bemused expressions-
"Bye puppy! Come play soon please!"
"Will do!" Ben called over, because her doofus was insufferably friendly like that. Neither of their companions spoke up with regards to what just happened, but Gwen had a feeling that she'd have to think of a lie to explain it away later.
And that made her nervous.
The party was loud and crowded and flashy, and the mansion in which it was held was equally outraous. A part of Gwen had been surprised when it turned out that Anna lived large, but most of her just took it in stride. She'd seen weirder. Ben had been more than a little flabbergasted though.
"You're loaded! Why do you even go to that dump of a school that we go to?"
"I love the ambiance."
Her friends had scattered shortly after arrival, Anna to find her parents, Lizzie because she had some people to greet and Ben had been hijacked by half the room gawking at his 'costume'. She couldn't see the little twerp, but she was betting that he was loving the attention. Most of the people in the room were their age group, even a few couples like her and Ben.
Gwen had mingled with them all, using small spells to add some magic to the room where she could get away with it. She loved the way Ben looked whenever she did that, a mix of wonder and mischief, as if he hadn't seen her use those some powers to preform way more impressive feats. When she'd pointed that out, he'd just smiled.
"Guess my standards have gotten really low." He'd jested, but she could hear the real meaning loud and clear. He liked her spells, even her small ones, because they were hers. The thought had done wonders for her mood, if nothing for her frazzled nerves.
Gwen sighed. That had ended some fifteen minutes ago when Gwen felt all her energy abandon her.
They had been this close to being found out. Sure, she trusted both Anna and Lizzie not to hate them if they did find out that she may have gotten a little too comfy with her cousin. Heck, she trusted them to look after Ben when she wasn't around after all; comparatively this was a lot less important as far as Gwen was concerned.
But like grandpa Max had said, she wanted their story, every bit of it, to get out on their terms, and not because fate blurted it out for her without so much as a 'by your leave.'
But she was pretty sure Bernard had been one word away from doing just that, and the thought that they were always this close to having things blow up in their face-
"You okay there, Gwen?" Darth Anna spoke up as she slid up beside the redheaded witch. She wasn't. She knew she wasn't, and her attempts to answer only made her lips work soundlessly and damn it all not again-!
Anna clasped a hand on her shoulder, turning her head and waving. Lizzie materialized out of nowhere, large brown eyes worried. "Gwen? What's the matter?"
The taller black-clad girl interrupted Lizzie's concern. "Go find Ben. We're going up to my room." She instructed the smaller bubbly girl, who saluted immediately and raced off. Then the blonde grabbed Gwen by the hand and dragged her through the crowd, up the stairs. The redhead did her best to hide in her head in her hat. She hadn't spotted anyone that she recognized amongst the guests, but she couldn't be sure.
And she really didn't want to have another meltdown in front of the same people, or at all for that matter.
The thought did nothing to calm her racing heart. Distantly she resigned herself to it just being one of those days on which it all hit the fan. First she woke from nightmares in the morning, then she got stuck in some bushes, then they almost get caught because of Bernard…
And now she was having an attack in front of Anna, who had up until this point likely thought that Ben was the only one with problems. Another part of her story that got out without her choosing to tell it. The realization made her even more miserable.
The house passed her by in a blur; she only came more or less back to herself when she was seated on an obscenely large bed with a pink comforter in a mostly pink and purple room, Anna pulling off her helmet and releasing her hair from the tight bun she'd had it in. The long blonde locks were fearsome to behold, even if her huge blue eyes held nothing but concern… on what was supposed to be a fun night for all of them. Gwen felt tears well up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," darn it, was crying all she did these days?! "I-I should be fine, it'll pass. It always does. It's just-" She hunched in on herself, trying to hide in her robes and hat, breathing quick, heart hammering in her ears. This was hardly the worst one she'd ever had, not by a long shot, but it still felt terrible and she really wished-
The door slammed open and not one second later she was engulfed in warmth. Through a haze of tears she could tell that Ben had jumped onto the bed and was holding her, but it was all wrong because Ben wasn't supposed to be blue or this hairy-
"Hey, hey!" A clawed hand gently tilted her face up to meet his, and she tried not to imagine them being thorns instead and tried to ignore the way his fangs looked far too much like the ones that had tried to chew on her-
"Eyes up here dweeb!" ...Wildvines didn't say that. Tearing her gaze further up to fix on his eyes, she latched onto that familiarity like a lifeline, because that shade of green was hers in so many ways and she could never mistake it for anything else. "That's it." Ben praised. "Eyes on me." He shook her shoulder. "You're safe, okay? We're safe. See?" He held up the Omnitrix for her, showing off the green display. "All green, and you're fine too. You're with me, and I'll eat any plant that comes near, trust me. You saw me go ham on the vitamins earlier."
Gwen's lips quirked shakily and she closed her eyes, sucked in a breath, letting his comfort soothe her. He brought up a hand to tug gently at her hair. "Hey, babe. I need you to reach out, okay?"
Reach out? What-? Ah. Yes, that might work. Reaching out, she placed a hand on his face, feeling the branches of the Omnitrix network spread all throughout him pulsing inside him, and then sent her mana racing down it. It should have shocked him, or zapped her. It what had usually happened whenever they tried to mix tech and magic. Instead, they'd found that doing so…
Gwen sighed, relishing the feeling of being intertwined so much that she could literally match her heartbeat to fall in line with his. Every twitch, every breath, every feeling was layered with his, so clear to hear yet nebulous at the same time; like a vivid dream half forgotten upon waking. It took a few long minutes to calm her down, but even through that fearful haze she had to appreciate that he did not attempt to kiss her in anyway because he was still in an alien form, or that he impulsively shifted back to help her better. She had enough of him like this to get the job done.
Her heart slowed down to match the pace she felt in his, his soothing thoughts pulling her own back in line. She opened her eyes to see Ben grinning down at her. "Welcome back."
She quirked a smile before trailing her eyes to the audience that had joined them on the bed-
"Guys," She grumbled as the two girls squeezed the air out of her, Ben cheerfully joining in. "I need air."
Ben scoffed. "Air is for the weak. Don't let up girls! She's not even blue yet!"
"You are though." Lizzie remarked, eyeing Ben with a twinkle. The boy rolled his eyes, pulling out of the pile, and Gwen distantly marveled at how it didn't feel at all like such a stranglehold on her usually would. It was… reassuring, more than anything.
"Fine, I'll go take a shower to wash it off. Err, where is…?"
Anna pointed to the right. "That door."
"You have your own bathroom? Cool. Anyway," Ben made his way over and opened the door, but not before giving them a stern look. It was far more effective in this fierce form. "if something happens, come get me." He instructed. Lizzie immediately reared up with a sly grin.
"Is that an excuse to barge in on you while you're showering? Because I'm pretty sure these ladies wouldn't mind doing that just for the sake of it-"
Two red faced girls smacked her on the back of the head. "Pervert!"
A while later, Ben sat on the floor with Lizzie as she interrogated him on the make-up and the hair implants and the nails (all of which Ben had 'accidentally' flushed down the drain while cleaning up whoopsie). He was making up nonsense answers just to see how long it would take for Lizzie to call him out, but he kept a close eye on Gwen.
Gwen, for her part, kept her eyes on him. Yeah, she thought the canine form was a brilliant idea for a costume, and it certainly had its upsides, but she much, much preferred the look and feel of her own doofus. And he'd actually used the shower to make the cover complete, the towel was still draped around his neck, hair damp.
It had only taken him fifteen minutes to make it believable, and during that time the girls had mostly left Gwen alone when it came to what the heck her problem was. Then again, Ben had mentioned that while Anna and Lizzie helped him calm down plenty of times, they never asked why he need calming down. She appreciated the understanding, even if she could tell that Lizzie was bursting with curiosity. But that didn't mean they wouldn't ask questions at all, and Gwen was mentally preparing herself for that.
Beside her, Anna, who had already changed into a sweatpants and oversized purple shirt, eyed her with a considering look. Seeing the normally uptight girl dressed so sloppily was its own special brand of weirdness; kinda like seeing Ben in a suit.
"Gwen," the blonde started. The redhead braced herself. Here it comes… "who's Max?"
Gwen exhaled a breath. That one was easy enough. "My grandpa." She answered, honestly but shortly. She noticed that Lizzie and Ben had fallen silent, and could feel their eyes on her. Lizzie's curious, no doubt.
Anna spoke up again. "Why didn't you want us to meet that man? Is it like when you didn't want Liz to meet your mother?" Hit the nail on the head.
Gwen just nodded, eyes on Ben instead of the blonde. The boy's expression was considering, but after a moment he nodded, giving her a faint smile. Gwen felt slight relief at that, even if she was still pretty nervous. But these two had supported them so much and it would be so nice to have someone to talk to…
"...why don't you want your family to know about your boyfriend?"
Gwen exhaled a breath, trying to just come out and say it but finding the words stuck in her throat. Because he's my idiot doofus of a cousin and I've hated him for over a decade until he turned out to be really awesome and my mother would probably kill him if she found out and my grandfather would never let me live down warming up to him at all much less enough to kiss him and date him-
Calm down.
Funny, how the soothing voice in her head no longer sounded like grandpa Max these days, but like the little boy that seemed torn on whether to get up to come to her again. Gwen grabbed Anna by the hand and stood from the bed, dragging her over so that she could sit herself down beside her lame brain on the floor instead. Anna did the same directly across from her beside Lizzie, both girls looking mystified. "Just," Gwen started, rubbing her temple, "look at us."
Lizzie grinned wolfishly. "I see a really cute couple-"
"No, really look at us." She instructed. Beside her, Ben looked back at the girls as well, mute, waiting patiently, the only sign of his nervousness being the way he clasped her hand on the floor.
Anna and Lizzie did as told, and Gwen tried not to squirm as their eyes ghosted all over them, but when Anna looked directly into her eyes before the flicked immediately back to Ben's, she gulped. She hoped she hadn't made a terrible mistake.
Lizzie noticed Anna tense and gave the girl a questioning look. Anna gestured to her eyes, to which Lizzie snapped her head back up to peer curiously at their green orbs- and froze a second later, jaw dropping.
"Gwen," the small girl spoke, timidly, breaking the tense silence. "what did you say your last name was?"
Gwen closed her eyes, exhaling softly. Now or never."I didn't." She waved a hand, putting on her best sheepish grin. "Gwen Tennyson." She introduced herself. Ben put on a sunny grin, holding up their linked hands.
"Cousin of yours truly. I regret nothing." He declared, and despite the situation, Gwen had to snicker. Ben would sass the heat death of the universe if he could.
She waited for the sounds of disgust and rejection to start, but instead she got Anna and Lizzie exchanging a long look before they nodded in unison- and jumped forward to drag the Tennysons into another hug and Gwen would never admit it but the amount of relief she felt brought a tear to her eye.
When they pulled back, Lizzie spoke up. "Okay, when and how?" She asked, sounding far too eager to know it all.
Gwen put a finger to her chin. "When it all went wrong? Well, I think it was about twenty minutes after my birth when this madhouse started-"
"And I was born into it. Never stood a chance." Ben added solemnly.
"Not that you dolts!" Lizzie cried, to Anna's subdued snickers and Ben and Gwen's overt ones. "I mean, how did she end up your girlfriend? There's gotta be a story there."
Gwen turned to face Ben again, and rather than just exchange a glance really took the time to look at him. Honestly, she didn't know when it was exactly that Ben had become approachable enough to be unorthodox boyfriend material. Probably sometime after she warmed up to him and when they started taking care of each other in the wake of their shared… experiences.
To borrow a phrase from her dad's overused romance novels, it had put Ben in a new light for her. She'd quickly learned on their summer adventures that, if nothing else, they could rely on each other to watch their backs, to catch each other when they fell. That had already changed her view on Ben a lot. And she'd quickly learned that Ben was probably one of the most selfless people on the planet, willing to risk life and limb for strangers (all while being pettily selfish over the most insignificant things).
But she hadn't known that her doofus could be caring until she woke up crying one night and crawled up into his bunk, expecting to be kicked out but finding a warm embrace instead. Perhaps that had been the moment when friendly familiarity had given way to more. But explaining all that was impossible without going through the whole story…
Ben shook his head with a rueful smile. She returned it. Yeah, dropping that story on their friends would probably make them explode, would take too long, and likely put them in danger; and that wasn't even considering that there were parts of their story that Ben and Gwen did not want to tell yet. Or at all.
"Well, you see, we're kinda… comfortable around each other." Gwen explained, opting to go for the direct cause of their current state rather than the underlying reason. "Wasn't always the case, but we are now. So a while back, when we were at the mall before school started, T.J. and Cash found Ben and bullied him about how no one would ever date him..." Not that her cousin had been very impressed with that little routine.
"Gwen decided to have some fun." Ben supplied, ears faintly red. "And then the rumor mill got spinning..." He gave Anna and Lizzie a significant look; the two had played their part in keeping that little rumor hot and happening, even Gwen knew that. Lizzie had the decency to look embarrassed. Anna couldn't be bothered.
"And I so wanted to sink this ship when we first met." Gwen picked up where Ben left off, gesturing at Anna and Lizzie. "But..."
The boy's grin was slightly sheepish as he rubbed the back of his head. "With the way we act… would you even have believed us?"
"We figured you wouldn't." Gwen concluded. "So we kinda rolled with it and sorta got… way more comfortable than we wanted to." She finished with a flush. "No offense." She muttered at Ben.
He shrugged. "None taken. If someone had told me a year ago I would ever kiss you, much less like it, I'd have hurled. No offense."
"Same." She intoned, petting his shoulder sympathetically. "Same."
"Wait wait wait!" Lizzie interrupted their exchange. "So you weren't dating when we met, but you are now?"
"...yes?" Gwen answered, cautiously.
"...there is literally no difference other than some kisses. You guys are so weird."
This startled a giggle out of Ben and she snickered as well. 'Weird' doesn't even begin to cover us, Liz. "You have no idea." Gwen admitted. "But yeah, we're dating now. For real." They'd made very sure that that was clear. Her expression turned apprehensive, dread settling in the pit of her stomach. "You're not… upset?" She asked the two girls across from them, seeing Ben freeze from the corner of her eye.
Lizzie gave them a weird look while Anna shrugged. "Should we be?" The small brunette asked innocently, eyes huge.
"No!" Gwen quickly reassured. "No the 'not freaking out' part is really, really great it's just not what I expected." She explained; because while she'd hoped for acceptance, and even expected it eventually, she also expected some weirdness. But they weren't weirded out. At all. "I mean Ben and I aren't exactly… typical."
Anna shrugged. "Yeah, no worries. We're no strangers to being atypical." Gwen quirked a brow at that, but Lizzie derailed her thoughts by addressing Ben.
"I guess you can't just tell the family and live happily ever after?" She suggested, cheerfully.
"Are you nuts?!" Ben exclaimed. "Aunt Nat would kill me, quarter me, burn the pieces, scatter the ashes, gather them put them back together, bring me back to life and and- then she'd say really mean things and I wouldn't be allowed to see Gwen." He trailed off with a pout, and really, it was heartening that out of that list of horrible things, he seemed by far the most bothered by the last bit.
"That might be a problem in the future." Gwen mused, expression sour. "We have way too little impulse control, and there's only so much we can write off. Heck, I think my dad already knows and has just resigned himself to it." Ben grimaced, but couldn't deny it.
Anna gave them a thoughtful look, cradling her chin in her hand, blue eyes sharp. "Why not ease them into it?" she suggested, idly twirling a gorgeous blonde lock around her finger. The Tennysons turned to her in unison, varying expressions of incredulity on their faces.
"How do you suggest we do that?" Ben asked, echoing the question in Gwen's mind.
Anna smirked, Lizzie hiding a grin behind her hand as well. "Same way you convinced us."
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