Capítulo 23: Side Story: The Adventures Of Santa Claus
Authors Note:
This is as the title suggests a side story. It is very much canonical but it is just for fun. MasterNoob and a few others seemed to want to see this so I hope I can do justice to the original comic this is loosely based on. This chapter will probably be shorter than my usual chapters. If you just want to see Rio and the other summons then you can skip this chapter. With that out of the way lets get on our way.
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Santa POV
As I left the party I had to start with my duties. I couldn't let all those naughty people not get their coal this year. I decided to start with the Naughtiest man on my list. I get in my slay turn on my Kringle 3000 jet turbine and prepare my time travel device to get to when I need to be. In a flash, I disappear and reappear in a random corner of the galaxy. I see where I need to go and get the reindeer moving.
POV Thanos
Ebony Maw approaches me which I find strange as I do not recall there being anything that happened today that would require his presence.
Ebony Maw: "Lord Thanos, we have an intruder who is bypassing all our defenses. We do not know who or what it is. It will arrive in a few minutes at this rate."
I frown at the news and think of who would dare attack me. I decide to get my armor on in case this becomes a fight. Once I finish getting ready I enter the command room where the defenses for my fortress are controlled.
Ebony Maw: "Lord Thanos, it has bypassed everything we have and even the Chitauri are useless against it. It will be here in a few moments."
As he says that the door is opened and what walks in is a old Asgardian-looking being dressed in a red and white suit with a bag on its shoulder.
???: "My you made me really have to work to get to you. You young lad are making poor old me work so hard to do my job. Now let's see what my list says. Hmm, yes you have been very naughty this year and that means it's a lump of coal for you this year Mr. Thanos. Now I must be going I have many gifts to deliver and many lumps of coal to give to the naughty boys and girls of the universe."
Thanos: "You aren't leaving here alive."
The stranger quickly runs back to his ship and the animals pulling it start to fly away while I chase after him.
???: "HOHOHOHO, see you next year. Try to get on the good list next time."
Thanos: "Shoot him down! If he escapes you won't like what happens."
I hold the piece of coal in my hands as I watch the intruder vanish.
'I will be ready for you next time stranger.'
Thanos: "Find out who that was and where he lives. Don't come back until you find out."
With that, I go back to my quarters to take off my armor.
POV Santa
'Whew, that was a messy one. That Ego fella was not fun to deliver to. Now, who is next on the list? Ah, Johann Schmidt, I see he is one of those Nazi fellows. I remember not being able to give out coal to them as they would use it for the war machine. I think I gave them rocks instead. It really is unfortunate when they manage to use even my presents for evil. Now let's get going, this coal won't deliver itself.'
I travel to Vormir and land next to Johann. I get my sack and walk up to him. He looks completely dumbfounded at my appearance.
Red Skull: "Are you Santa? Have I finally gone crazy?"
I clear my throat.
Santa: "Mr. Schmidt you have been a very naughty boy. I am sorry I missed this delivery but your change of address made it hard to find you. My list says you have been naughty so it's a lump of coal for you. Learn from your past and maybe when I come back you can get on the good list. Goodbye Mr. Schmidt and Merry Christmas."
Red Skull just looks at me with an open mouth holding the lump of coal I gave him until I start flying away and he snaps out of it and faints. I just chuckle at that and look at the next person on my list, Alexander Pierce.
'Oh, he has been very naughty this year. So many crimes and no remorse either. If I wasn't a pacifist I would teach that young man a lesson.'
I appear back on Earth above a house that seems ordinary. I slip down the chimney and can immediately hear someone moving my way. Eventually, I see Alexander Pierce walk in with a gun in his hand.
Pierce: "Who are you and how did you get in here?"
Santa: "I am Santa Claus and I am here because you are on the Naughty list. You have been very naughty this year and as such it's a lump of coal for you."
Pierce: "You can't be Santa, he doesn't exist. Who are you really?"
Santa: "I have to be going now many gifts to deliver and not much time to do it. I left the gifts for you family under the tree. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."
I touch my nose and vanish.
POV Alexander Pierce
When the intruder vanished in a puff of smoke heading up the chimney I thought for a moment he might actually be Santa.
'No, he must just be using some sort of tech. I need to call a team to come secure my home. I need to figure out how he got in here. I will have some bomb techs make sure those gifts are safe. I will also need to get this coal tested. I will find out who he is and when I do he will suffer Hydra's wrath.'
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Authors Note:
That's all folks. I hope it was entertaining I found it amusing to write. If you have any suggestions let me know. Like they say in Italy Chiaotzu NO!!!!!
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