Capítulo 34: I don't love you P * * * * * *
Something told me to open my eyes
Its 6. AM
I grabbed my phone
My blood became cold as a blue ice
She finally gave me answer
You're not what I'm dreaming about
Reading this I wish I had a weapon
To end this life the God gave me somehow bestowed upon me
I want you to give my money now
Why you spent it on your own?
I'd go berserk for you but you're just heartless hoe
You push me out like Rachel pushed Bam's life
Away
To the darkness
When hell awaits for me
But you know?
I used to live in hell
Yet why this hurts so damn
They hurt my body
Well its nothing compared to you
Hurtin' my soul
Like Noone ever could do
I told myself I will wait for you
Why was I waiting for whore like you?
It's funny, how I could even forgive your betrayal
I asked you trice em, triple
Lookin in your eyes
Knowing the truth
You lied to me
Looking in my eyes too
"Your eyes, they're so beautiful"
Noone saw me crying
But you do
And I don't even know
Why I choose this path
I could be forever, forever young
If I only didn't got this thought
That someday someone will love me
I thought it was you
So dead wrong
I was in love with you
Hoe.
About one thousand days after
I manage somehow to ask you
Closed the chapter
Burnt the bridge
Move forward
But your curse moved too bitch
I met someone
In real life too
But when I asked for ice
She didn't gave it ahw
I don't feel nothing towards you
I know it's curse she cast upon you
I'm telling to the sillouet in window
I'm telling to
Make my feelings a bit easier for you
Will it ever be easier?
Her talking with other boy
The anguish of heartache
With him like she used to with you
You were a toy
That someone bought
And dropped you
Off the cliff
To be sure
You'll be dead
By dawn
You'll be dead
By dawn
But I'm still here
Alone looking for something like you
Imma ask me to die
Imma ask myself today
Imma ask me to die
Imma ask me but life
Hurts so damn without you
These days were fun
With you
Decided to fuck my feelings
To fuck my light
I was shining near you
So u just shut it down
Within few seconds
You pierced my heart
With my blade
Saying it was a fucking joke to you?
A N S W * R m e
Above that great attitude
I wish you hate me
Cuz opposite to love isn't hate
It's indifference that slowly takes my life
Hate is nothing
I used to feel that
Since the start of my life
Since the birth
I knew nothing more than wrath
The hate they gave me
I could build castle using this shit
And something decided to build damn wall
Above me
So I cannot reach the sky
I couldn't even reach the sand
I was drowning behind that wall
In the very first lake from my memory
I drowned that day choking from fear
It was nothing to me
It was nothing to you
I met the death to take her job
So she said
Its not my time
Then why the hell I still have to think bout how I die?
Nothing helps anymore
The drugs, the pills, the people
The game, the doctor, the words coming out my mouth
Gather them before I forget how I was
Able to get through that shit
The hell itself
Nothing more
Nothing less
Nonetheless
Soon I won't care
A. M. I still like this?
Ye over thinking tales of me
Bout the experience of my life
In worst condition
It's overwriting my mind
Overwriting my soul
So when it ends
I will be nothing more
Nothing more
I'm nothing more
Should I quit or should I go
Begone
Dedicate my life to scarlet blood
It's the only thing I Yearn for
It smells
It tastes
It feels
It warms me
A bit
I could give you all my heat
I don't want to bleed
Alone
I will bleed alone
I'm bleeding alone
And Noone cares
I can't find peace cuz when I do
I get emotional to whores like you
Who drains me out
And when I'm paralyzed
You crush my heart
You burn my soul
You break my spine
You ressurect me to kill me another night
During the feast
You call my demons out
To devour my last hopes n dreams
You crush everything
You see
You crush everything
You touch my skin
To gave me false sense of love
And burry me
You sold me to Satan to fulfill your wish
And what was that?
Haha
To make me feel
The war I spent my precious fucking nine years
To spent another years to cope with that
You said one word
You said one word
In this fucking world
In this fucking world
There are few people
How could I believe
In that thought?
Back then?
I should run through veins
I should open my cells
Where is the glass that killed me
I'm asking my Dear Death
She's not answering me
Blood related keeps me from leaving this world
Cuz I know the feeling of losing someone
I won't kill them
I want make home
I won't give them
The anxiety wall
And I just can't let them suffer
Like you make me
They won't suffer
Like I'm suffocating
And if you gather pain from all over the world
You could say I'm new one
Cuz I suffer a lot
And I don't care what you think
Not due to the fact I'm hearthless
It's cuz I'm so tired that your pain is nothing new to me.
It's pointless
Looking for my D r eam
"The wounds heals by the time" they said
Well kinda works, but me?
If you would take what I felt at least for month
I don't think your life would be enough
Assuming that you would feel n live for bout hundred of years
How bout that?
I wonder
How heavy is my heart?
I could wait all night for you to tell me
I could wait all month for you to tell me
I could wait whole year for you to tell me
I could wait all my life for you
To kill me
Why does it hurt so daym bad?
I should take rehab from that
I just don't want to be alone
Will be there someone waiting for mee
Or is it my another lucid dream?
Was there anyone at all?
Was my thought just a bunch of lies?
Why
Just tell me why
You fucking whore
What was all that for?
What were you thiking saying all these words to me?
Now what you say means nothing to me
Yet it used to
I used to believe you
But you just crossed the line that I can't forgive you
It's simple to betray someone's trust
And above that you decided to come back
Runaway
You're 25 already
Dumb bitch
It does not matter anymore
It doesn't matter anymore
I hope you won't die too soon
You should live for too long
For too long
So you could experience my pain
In your chest
At least it would be your fucking punishment
You told me bout my too
Shocking therapy?
Are u insane?
Get the hell away from me
Please just don't say anything to me
Just let me cure
Lemme get my shit together
You said I'm not playing
And what I saw you were playing with another one
You don't have the rights to be
You don't have the rights to be
You don't have the rights to be
So please just get the fuck away from me
OK?
Just runaway like you used to
Just gather your fake friends to cheer you
I don't care anymore
I think it's good that your dads gone
Cuz for me having daughter doing like you
Would gave my heart attack
Or maybe he died due to
One
Just one night
And it's all decided
I'm fucked up cuz of misunderstanding
Well I'm not used to hold my feelings
Yet u gave me a lesson to believe it
The days of thunder will pass
Then you will envy my bitch while saying
Pass the salt daddy
Even tho she'd got two dads
You know who'll be hearing
Who'll be receiven
Nana
Before that
There's a couple things to do
To smash those bitches
Like they used to
I'll be glass in your drugs
I'll be the one u can't afford
I'll be the one you're dreaming about
Then screaming for help
So I'll pull
Your hairs like Noone do
You'll be hearing what I want to
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