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84.21% Anxiety / Chapter 32: I don't love you P******

Capítulo 32: I don't love you P******

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Something told me to open my eyes

It's 6AM

I grabbed my phone

My blood became cold as blue ice

She finally gave me answer

You're not what I'm dreaming about

Reading this I wish I had a weapon

To end this life the God gave me somehow

I want you to give my money now

Why you spent it on your own?

I'd go berserk for you but you're just hearthless hoe

You push me out like Rachel pushed Bam's life

Away

To the darkness

When hell awaits for me

But you know?

I used to live in hell

Yet why this hurts so damn

They hurt my body

Well it's nothing compared to you

Hurtin` my soul

Like Noone could do

I told myself I will wait for you

Why was I waiting for whore like you?

It's funny how I could even forgive your betrayal

I askd you trice em, triple

Lookin in your eyes

Knowing the truth

You lied to me

Looking in my eyes too

"Your eyes, they're so beautiful"

Noone saw me crying

And I don't even know

Why I chose this path

I could be forever, forever young

If I only didn't got this thought

That someday someone will love me

I thought it was you

So dead wrong of me

I was in love with you

At least say "I'm sorry"?

About one thousand days after

I managed somehow to ask you

Closed the chapter

Burnt the bridge

Move forward

But with your curse

I met someone

In real life too

But when I asked for ice

She didn't gave it ahwsdkaoisdfs

I don't feel nothing towards you

I know it's curse she cast upon you

I'm tellin` to the silhouet in the window

I'm tellin` to...

Make my feelings a bit easier for you

Will it ever be easier?

Her talkin` with other boy - yeah call it friend

The anguish of heartache

With him like she used to with you

You were nothing but a mere toy

That someone bought

And dropped you

Off the cliff

To be sure

You'll be dead

By dawn

You'll be dead

By dawn

But I'm still here

Alone, lookin` for something like you

Imma ask me to die

Imma ask myself today

Imma ask my to die

Imma ask me but life

Hurts so damn without you

These days were fun

With you

Decided to fuck my feelings

To fuck my light

I was shining near you

So u just shut it down

Within few seconds

You pierced my heart

With my blade

Saying it was a fucking joke to you?

Above the great attitude

I wish you hate me

Cuz opposite to love isn't hate

I t i s

Indifference that slowly takes my life

Hate is n o t h i n g

I used to feel that

Since the start of my life

Since the birth

I knew nothing more than wrath

The hate they gave me

I could build castle using this shit

And something decided to build damn wall

Above me

So I cannot reach the sky

I couldn't even reach the sand

I was drowning behind that wall

In the very first lake from my memory

I drowned that day choking from fear

It was nothing to me

It was nothing to you

I met Death to take her job

So she said

It is not my time

Then why the hell I still have to thinkg `bout how I die?

Nothing helps anymore

The drugs, the pills, the people

The game, the doctor, the words coming out my mouth

Gather `em before I forget how I was

able to geth through that shit

Hell itself

Nothing more

Nothing less

Nonetheless

Soon I won't care

A.M. I still like this?

Ye over-thinking tales of me

`Bout the experience of my life

In worst condition

It's overwriting my soul

So when it ends

I will be nothing more

Nothing more

I'm nothing more

Should I quit or should I go

Begone

Dedicate my life to scarlet blood

It's the only thing I yearn for

It smells

It tastes

It feels

It warms me

A bit

I could give you all my heat

I don't want to bleed

Alone

I will bleed alone

I'm bleeding alone

And Noone cares

I can't find peace cuz when I do

I get emotional to whores like you

Who drains me out

And when I'm paralyzed

You crush my heart

You burn my soul

You break my spine

You resurrectin` * m e * to kill me another night

During the feast

You call my demons out

To devour my last hopes `n dreams

You crush everything

You see

You crush everything

You touch my skin

To gave me false sense of love

And burry me

You sold me to Satan to fulfill your wish

And what was that?

Haha

To make me fell

The war I spent my precious fucking nine years

To spent another years to copse with that

You said one word

You said one word

In this fucking world

In this fucking world

There are few people

How could I believe

In that thought?

Back then?

I should run through my veins

I should open my cells

Where is the glass that killed me

I'm asking my Dear Death

She's not answering me

Blood related keeps me from leaving this world

Cuz I know the feeling of losing someone

I won't kill `em

I want make home

I won't give `em

The a n x i e t y wall

And I just can't let them suffer

Like you make me

They won't suffer

Like I'm suffocating

And if you gather pain from all over the world

You could say I'm completely new one

Cuz I suffer a lot

And I don't care what you think-k

Not due to the fact I'm hearthless

It's cuz I'm so tired that your pain is nothing new to me

It is point l e s s

"The wounds heals by the time" they said

Well kinda works, but me?

If you would take what I felt at least for month

I don't think your life would be enough

Assuming that you would feel n live for `bout hundred of years

How `bout that?

I wonder

How heavy is my heart-h?

I could wait all night for you to tell me

I could wait all month for you to tell me

I could wait whole year for you to tell me

I could wait all my life for you

To kill me

Why does it hurt so daym bad?

I should take rehab from that

I just don't want to be alone

Will be there someone waitin` for mee

Or is it my another lucid dream?

Was there anyone at all?

Was my though just a bunch of lies?

Why

Just tell me why

You fucking whore

What was all that for?

What where you thinking saying all these words to me?

Now what you say means nothing to me

Yet It used to

I used to believe you

But you crossed the line that I can't forgive you

It's simple to betray someone's trust

And above that you decided to come back

GO

Runaway

You're 25 already

Dumb bitch

It doesn't matter anymore

I hope you won't die too soon

You should live for way too long

For too long

So you could experience my pain

In your chest

At least it would be your fucking punishment

You told me `bout my too

Shocking therapy?

Are u insane?

Get the hell away from me

Please just don't say anthing to me

Just let me cure

Lemme get my shit together

You said I'm not playing

And what I saw you were playing with another one

You don't have the right to be

You don't have the rights to be

You don't have the rights to be

So please just get the fuck away from me

OK?

Just runaway like you used to

Just gather your fake friends to cheer you

I don't care anymore

I think it's good that your dad's gone

Cuz for me having daughter doing so like you

Would gave my heart attack

Or maybe he died due to?

One

Just one night

And it will be all decided

I'm fucked up cuz of misunderstanding

Well I'm not used to hold my feelings

Yet u gave me a lessong to believe it

The days of thunder will pass

Then you will envy my bitch while saying

Pass the salt daddy

Even tho she'd got two dads

You know who'll be hearing

Who'll be receiven

Nana

Before that

There's a couple things to do

To smash those bitches

Like they used to

I'll be glass in your drugs

I'll be the one u can't afford

I'll be the one you're dreamin` about

Then screaming for help

So I will pull

Your harids like Noone do

You'll be hearing what I want to


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