Capítulo 5: PARTEEEHHHH!!!!
Wade's heart skips a beat the seconds he turns to see Ken land on his feet, miraculously only have minor scratchers from the laser that already healing. Before Wade can even react, Ken—eyes wide with a mix of glee and determination—starts mimicking Wade's movements, dodging the lasers with uncanny precision.
(Not that this laser will do anything to him, I mean we did only do this for the fun of it.)
Monkey see, monkey do I guess.
'I don't think Laura is the causes of my death near future anymore, Its definitely him! Super healing factor or not! No, They both gonna be my causes of deaths!'
Wade, now watching Ken in awe, continues through the grid. Ken follows right behind him, his small body moving with surprising agility, copying Wade's every move with almost eerie accuracy, he even copied his little funky dances too!
Wade, Ken, and Laura made it past the laser grid, with Wade still marveling at how his little brother managed to follow his funky dance moves to avoid the deadly beams. But now, with the three of them standing in the cold, sterile corridor, Wade felt the tension start to creep in.
You know, this place needs some redecorating. A few explosions here, some chaos there…
(You're right! We've got two little cubs with us—let's make this escape a fun kid's party!)
Wade grinned, mischief twinkling in his eyes as he turned to Ken and Laura. "Alright, my little cubs, how do you feel about causing some chaos and late birthday present?"
Ken growled in agreement, already on board, while Laura tilted her head, curious but unsure. Wade could see the spark of excitement in her eyes, though.
(She's totally into it. We've got ourselves a tiny agent of chaos in the making!)
"Let's blow this popsicle stand, Deadpool style!" Wade declared, pumping his fists in the air. Ken mimicked the action with a feral grin, and even Laura raised her tiny fists, a glimmer of joy in her usually guarded expression.
As they started making their way down the corridor, Wade tapped into Bradley's technopathy, grinning as he accessed the facility's control system and weapon storages. Something shiny caught his eye in the weapon storage. Wade pull two shiny familiars twins Katana.
(Ooooh, Is that Adamantium Katana? Like the original Deapool had? Bea and Arthur? Sweeet, we really taking this Deadpool's business really well!)
All that we really need now is the really thigh suits and we could became the whole package!
After some thinkering and finding weapon montages in the weapon room, Wade hacked into the PA system, his voice booming throughout the complex. "Attention, all you brainless minions! This is your unfriendly neighborhood Deadpool, and I've got some special guests with me today. We'll be redecorating the place, starting with your faces! So if you're in the mood for a surprise lobotomy, come on down!"
That should get their attentionI.
(They'll be lining up to meet the stars of the show!)
Wade grinned as he watched the security cameras show guards scrambling through the hallways. "Let's give them something to remember us by!" He quickly started setting off random alarms, opening and closing blast doors at random, and triggering the sprinklers. The facility was plunged into chaos in no time. He also made all of the cell's door and containtment open and couldn't be closed again.
"To all mutant brothers and sisters in this hell of facility, you are free now! Cause hell and fury to your abusers, captors and abductor! Regain your freedom! Say it with me! FREEDOOOM!!!"
(FREEDOOOM!!!)
FREEDOOOM!!!
After he make some half-ass speech in the intercoms, Wade played Let It Go song from Frozen and left the room. Wade and the kids burst into one of the main corridors, where several guards were already converging, their weapons raised. Before the guards could even react, Wade grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall and hurled it at them. It hit the ground with a clang, releasing a thick cloud of white foam that filled the corridor.
"Let it go, let it go! Can't hold it back anymore!" Wade sang, as he rolled through the foam, knocking guards off their feet with a playful swipe of his swords. Ken followed suit, diving into the foam with a gleeful growl and popping up like a feral Olaf the snowman to the guards before punching and clawing their faces. Laura, meanwhile, darted between their legs, tripping them up as she giggled, her tiny claws swiping at their ankles.
(Olaf the Snowman had a very bloody fist!).
As the guards slipped and stumbled in the foam, Wade's eyes lit up with a particularly wacky idea. He quickly rigged a bunch of grenades to one of the guards' belts and gave him a hard shove, sending him sliding down the slippery floor toward his buddies. "Kobe!" Wade yelled while throwing one of grenade that he already rigged spesifically like a basketball, he then pulled Ken and Laura to the ground just as the grenades exploded in a spectacular shower of foam, blood and guts of the victims. Oh don't forget the confetti from the shred probably important files that he tinkers to those grenade before.
Did you—did you fill those grenades with confetti?
(How the hell you do that?)
'My plot armours, obviously!'
Wade popped up from the floor, now covered in foam and confetti, his grin wide as ever. "That's what I call a blast!" he quipped, pulling Ken up by the scruff of his neck and throw him at his back again. Laura, giggling, leaped onto Wade's back, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck.
"Alright, troops, onward! We've got more chaos to spread!" Wade announced, charging down the corridor with Ken and Laura in tow.
They continued their wacky escape, with Wade setting off more pranks along the way. He switched the facility's elevators to play obnoxiously loud elevator music version of NSync "Bye, Bye, Bye" causing guards to cover their ears in agony. Ken discovered that he could use his claws to carve smiley faces into the butt of the guards they fought, which Wade enthusiastically encouraged, while Laura used her tiny claws to shred the faces of every guards she ecounters.
When they finally reached the exit, Wade made sure to trip every alarm and set off every remaining booby trap in the building. As they burst through the final door, alarms blaring and sparks flying, Wade paused dramatically, turning back to look at the facility.
"You've been a great audience! Don't forget to tip your waiter—wait, scratch that, they're all dead. Anyway, see ya, suckers!" Wade yelled before sprinting into the forest with Ken and Laura.
(That was the best escape ever! It's a shame that Stryker and Francis are not in the base right now tho)
We should totally come back and do it again sometime! Afterall, we owe them a party because they missed us on this one!
Wade, now safely outside with his siblings, took a deep breath and sighed happily. "Mission accomplished, kiddos. Next stop, Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. I'm sure they'll appreciate our sense of humor there."
It seemed they are somewhere near Alkali Lake. (Classic, right? Straight out of the origin movies.) But staying here wasn't exactly a brilliant idea. Wade quickly teleported them into the near dense forest area, and after a few more jumps and running, they finally hit the road. Given his own exhaustion from the constant teleporting, Laura and Ken also didn't looks much better—hey, they were still just a kid, even him, with only their father's mutation to help them out— they had to hijack a car to keep moving.
They would have to ditch this ride soon enough. Not only was he technically not allowed to drive—hello, still looks like a kid remember?—but the car will be running out of gas soon, he did not chooses his victim well. And to top it all off, it seemed to be this car was an old car. No GPS, just a good old-fashioned map. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Was he really going to have to read one of those relics? Who does that anymore?
... people before GPS exist?
("Oh, look at you, you know when your father was born there is no car and people actually walk-")
"Damn it, this just gets better and better," Wade muttered sarcastically, staring at the map he found in the glove compartment.
Yeah, because having to use a map is the worst thing ever. Never mind that we're on the run with two kids, one stolen car, and a lack of any real plan.
Wade shook his head, trying to focus on the road ahead. "Alright, let's just follow on this road. We need to keep moving and put some distance away from that place."
The car rolled down the highway, its headlights cutting through the night, the trees whizzing past. Wade glanced at Laura and Ken in the backseat—two tiny, exhausted figures who were finally catching a break after the whirlwind of teleportation. He knew they couldn't stay in this car forever. Not only because it would run out of gas but also because he wasn't exactly in the legal age to drive, the moment they found out by the police, they're fucked. He probably could pass as a 13 years old at best but he don't think any 13 years old could legally drive either in Canada.
As they barreled down the road, Wade realized they'd need another ride soon or find any gas stations near. Maybe something a bit more kid-friendly? He really sucks at this. With a sigh, he put the map on the dashboard and tried to figure out where to go next. They are in Canada, which north of America, so he should be fine if he continued driving south, right? He really missed google maps... Which one is south again?
Oh, Its gonna be really longs road trip...
(Really, really, really long road trips)
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
Vha_Ann
Vha_Ann HUuh? When did I wrote this chapter? Why did I did not remember? I think I also have voices in my head that controls me when I am high, is it possible?
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