Capítulo 4: Arc I - Going Home - Part 4
Xiao Zhan sat in his first-class seat, and for the first time that day, he felt like he could relax. He finally was on the last leg of his journey home. Upon arriving in Bangkok, he had left Craig with just enough time to thank him. Director Luo had arranged for someone to pick him up and take him to the international airport, about ten minutes away from the small airstrip they had landed at. Once at Suvarnabhumi proper, he'd realized that flying to Bangkok had taken more time than planned, and the airline staff had rushed him through check-in and security so he could make it to his gate in time. In the end, they had held the flight for twenty minutes for him. To make things worse, he had had to sit in the back of economy class, thus suffering the glare of every passenger who wished they were already on their way and were afraid to miss their connection. Despite his exhaustion, he had barely been able to sleep as babies had seemed to take turns crying, and the people lining up for the bathroom had constantly been bumping against his seat. However, the worst part of it all had been when, in a rush to get his passport out, he had dropped his phone, the screen of which had hit the metal base of the check-in counter and shattered most spectacularly. He had felt the staff and people around him wince as he'd picked up the ruined device. All his hopes of charging his phone on the plane to text Yibo upon arrival had been destroyed. As per Sitwat's prediction, his connection in Seoul had been a tight one, and he hadn't had the time time to even think about shopping for a new one.
But all of this was irrelevant now as the plane was leaving Seoul and heading for Beijing. Soon, he would be home, and all the events of the last twenty-four hours would just be a funny story to tell Yibo. Hopefully, he would still be at his place when he got there. He was in the habit of going to bed late, so he would definitely be awake, probably playing games or watching something on his phone.
Xiao Zhan closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep to make time go by faster, but despite his trying journey, he felt quite alert. He didn't feel like watching the in-flight entertainment, but he found a decent music station and decided to at least try to rest while listening.
To occupy his mind, he tried to rehearse possible answers to questions he might get the next day during the press conference but quickly got bored with it. Soon, his thoughts drifted back to Yibo. He wondered if they would order something in. It would be cold in Beijing, and he craved a hotpot. Maybe the small restaurant on the corner would still be open… They would figure something out; they always did. They'd probably lounge on the couch after eating. They tended to be awkward with each other after long periods of not meeting. No matter how much he wanted to take Yibo in his arms and hug him, the first hour or so always was a period of adjustment during which they touched each other with reserve. Every single time, he told himself that he would ignore the feeling and just embrace Yibo and yet, every single time, he lost his nerve. He pictured what they might do once they were past that. Maybe they would cuddle on the couch. Yibo liked to play with his hair. Xiao Zhan liked to take his hands in his and caress them. If the mood was right, he might even snuggle against his junior and cradle his head in the crook of his soft neck. There was something about his scent that entranced Xiao Zhan. This was usually the extent of their interactions. They had kissed once before, but they didn't talk about it. They had been drunk, but Xiao Zhan could remember every detail of it.
Feeling aroused, Xiao Zhan shifted in his seat so his body would face the window.
They had never taken things further. It wasn't for lack of wanting. Their bodies kept on betraying them, yet there was an invisible line they just couldn't seem to cross. Whether it was a fear of being discovered (even in the privacy of their own homes) and everything it would entail for their careers or a fear of seeing the relationship take a more serious step forward, he didn't know. This was another one of their tacit understandings. He wondered if Yibo also fantasized about him the way he did.
He shifted again, getting uncomfortable. He forced himself to think about other things. After a while, he felt recovered enough to go and freshen up in the bathroom. He took an odd assemblage of clothes that had ended in his carry-on during his frenzied packing session and got up. Using hand soap, towels, and a few toiletries, he managed to make himself smell better and look more presentable. Despite his best efforts, thoughts of Yibo crept back into his mind, and he felt himself harden again. To his dismay, the steward's voice over the tannoy announced their descent and asked passengers to return to their seats. He slipped a sweater on and hoped it covered him enough. He awkwardly made his way back to his seat, dirty clothes and toiletries bunched in his hands in front of him.
The terminal was deserted when he deplaned, the late hour also meaning that the stores were closed. He had long given up on the idea of acquiring a new phone anyway. He would just have to transfer his SIM card into one of his older devices for the time being. Once he reached the arrival lobby, he was glad to see that no fans were waiting for him. It might have been because of the late hour or because his travel plans had been entirely unexpected, but the reason mattered little to him. The last thing he wanted right now was to wave and smile. The driver arranged for him was an older gentleman who'd taken him to and from the airport before. He was the quiet, efficient type. Xiao Zhan liked him a lot and often made sure to give the company good feedback about him. He soon had him settled and on his way.
There was no traffic, so they made it to Chaoyang Park in under twenty minutes. Xiao Zhan had never been more elated to see his place. He profusely thanked the driver, who only smiled and bowed slightly before going on his way. Since there were no doormen this late, he carried his luggage up the stairs. The nightwatchman, who happened to be in the lobby, caught sight of him and opened the door before helping him take his bags to the elevator. When the doors finally closed, he felt the excitement build up in his chest, along with the anxiety of seeing Yibo again after a long while. He fixed his hair as best he could and checked his breath. He could have been dressed better, but there wasn't much he could do about that.
The elevator reached the 12th floor with a discrete "ping." The doors opened to reveal a quiet, carpeted hallway. He stepped off. His hands were suddenly very sweaty. He wiped them on his jeans. Smiling to himself, he walked to the end of the corridor and unlocked the door.
His place was dark and had that stuffy smell it usually had when no one but the cleaning lady had been around for a while. He got in and let his bag drop to the floor. Xiao Zhan carded his hair with his fingers, unwilling to move. Maybe Yibo had heard him and was trying to surprise him? This wouldn't be the first time. He shook his head. He knew it was pointless to entertain such false hopes. He couldn't feel anyone's presence.
"Yibo?" he called, nevertheless.
His voice echoed in the empty space. He walked to the kitchen and turned on the light, hoping to find a note on the kitchen table. Nothing. Maybe he had come back home too late, and Yibo, unable to reach him, had just left? He walked to the bedroom. His bed was made and showed no signs of anyone having lain in it. There was only one way left to find out what was going on: he needed a working phone.
He turned on the closet light and reached for a shoebox on the top shelf. As he pulled it towards himself, another box on top of it came sliding down and would have hit him square in the face had he not ducked at the last moment. Instead, it bounced off his head and ended up hitting the floor, its lid flying off and its contents spilling everywhere.
Xiao Zhan put the first box back and turned around to find himself surrounded by polaroid pictures of Yibo and him. He crouched and started picking them up. This was what they called their secret "stash," the only proof that there was something different about their friendship. None of the photographs had been taken outside Xiao Zhan's place. They pictured the two of them in different situations — eating, hanging out, sleeping, etc. — and would have meant the end of their careers had anyone found them. They didn't allow themselves to take them outside the apartment. Short of being able to take and send pictures with their phones as ordinary people did, Yibo had come up with this idea to leave a record for "posterity," or at least for a better time in the future when whatever it was they shared would be seen as normal and accepted. Xiao Zhan had been against the idea at first, but now that he looked at the snapshots, he was happy to have them. He felt it was unfair that Yibo didn't have access to them, but they agreed they were safer at his place.
Xiao Zhan put the box back in the closet and reached for the original one, taking out an older phone and its charger. He smiled at the bunny-patterned case. Yibo had chosen that one for him during the filming of The Untamed. He went back to the kitchen and plugged the old device in. He also plugged in his busted phone, hoping it might still be salvaged. Although it did turn on, the shattered screen remained dark. While he waited for the devices to charge, he turned on the TV and set out to cook himself some ramen. There was no point in getting a hotpot if he couldn't share it with Yibo. The news was ending, and the entertainment section was about to begin. He listened with a distracted ear.
"Good evening. Tonight, we bring you sad tidings."
His curiosity piqued, Xiao Zhan looked up from his pot.
"It has been confirmed that the victims of a hit-and-run which took place along the Han River late last night in Seoul and which involved a commercial vehicle and motorcycles were Korean-Chinese boy band UNIQ members Zhou Yixuan and Wang Yibo."
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