Capítulo 5: Chapter 3 - To Your Gallant Visage at the Underworld's Edge
Half a month had passed since Lena was appointed to the Spearhead squadron.
There were no casualties during that day's deployment, either, and as had become her daily routine, Lena activated the Para-RAID in a relaxed fashion, Resonating with the Processors.
It was after dinner in Lena's room. For the past half month, the Spearhead squadron had had zero casualties, despite deploying far more often than most squadrons. That was probably because they truly were an elite unit, made up of seasoned veterans.
"Good evening, units. You all did a great job today, as usual."
The first thing she could hear was faint noise in the background, weak enough that it would die out should anyone speak to her. It was probably the distant noise of the hangar or the sound of fighting from other Sectors.
"Good evening, Handler One, and good job today."
The first to answer her was Undertaker, as always. His voice was serene and collected, and in the end, Lena couldn't find even a sliver of the reason why he'd come to be called by such an ominous alias.
There were several other presences on the other side of the Resonance, and gradually, several more of the squad members proceeded to greet Lena. Wehrwolf the vice captain, the somewhat foulmouthed but well-regarded older-brother figure of the squad. The honest and steadfast Kirschblüte, who would go along with any silly topic that came up in conversation. Laughing Fox, whose kind, effeminate voice stood in contrast to his sharp tongue.
True to his first impression, Undertaker was the taciturn sort and didn't participate much in conversations outside of official duties, but apparently, everyone was always around him when Lena Resonated with them. There were a few squad members who didn't connect to the conversation. They must all like Undertaker very much.
"Undertaker. I would like to start with the matter of the delivery date for the supply shipment you requested the other day…"
Listening to the Handler and Shin continue their businesslike exchange, Raiden spent the evening solving a crossword puzzle in a magazine he had picked up. They were in Shin's room at the dormitory of their worn-out barracks.
Around him were a few others who had made this their gathering place, whiling away the hours, each in their own way. Theo was engrossed in sketching. Haruto, Kurena, and Kaie were playing a card game. Anju was knitting a sweater with some kind of elaborate pattern while Daiya was trying to fix a broken radio. Others were congregating in their rooms or the dining hall, and their chipper voices could be heard from the distance.
As captain, Shin had duties involving reports and other paperwork, so he was given the largest room in the barracks, which also doubled as an office. Raiden would go there to consult him regarding matters involving the squad, and their friends would gradually peek in to pester them. The room had become one of everyone's usual haunts before long.
Shin, being the room's owner, didn't seem to mind so long as he had a place to read. He would remain silent and detached even if people were tending to the cat, quarreling noisily over who won a game of chess, or even belly dancing in front of him (Daiya and Kujo actually had once). Right now, he was (as always) in his room. He was reading a novel—which he'd found in an abandoned library somewhere—while speaking to the Handler. He was lying on the old pipe bed occupying the corner and using its pillow as a cushion. The white-socked black kitten lay sprawled out on his chest, as it did every night.
Looking at this peaceful sight, he took a sip from his coffee mug. It was a blend made from a recipe passed down for generations among the Processors, the Spearhead squadron's traditional Ersatz Café. It was made from dandelions they grew behind the barracks, making it far tastier than the mysterious black muddy water one would get from synthetic black coffee powder.
…What would the old hag say if I let her taste this? The damn crone was a stubborn stick in the mud who wouldn't accept any kind of luxury, but coffee was the one thing she was fond of.
Even the production plants in the eighty-five Sectors didn't do a much better job than the ones in the bases and internment camps when it came to reproducing grocery items. The hag would complain every single morning that the coffee tasted like mud. Is she still grumbling about it, even now? Is she still lamenting what happened to us…?
As if to drown out the Handler's chime-like voice, the kitten gave a high-pitched meow.
Lena blinked in surprise, hearing a shrill meow cut into her words.
"Was that a…cat…just now?"
"Oh yeah. We keep it as a pet here in the barracks," Black Dog answered. "The one who picked it up was yours truly, by the way. The tiny thing kept meowing in front of a house that had its roof blown off by a tank shell. Its parents and siblings all got squished, but it survived somehow."
"And for some reason, Undertaker was the one it got attached to."
"Undertaker won't even play with him. It keeps rubbing up on him and begging for attention, but he won't give it the time of day."
"I'm not sure if it actually likes him or just thinks of him as a good bed. I mean, look at it now."
"Yeah, it's probably 'cause Undertaker never budges an inch when he's reading. Which means he'd never cling to Black Dog like that, since he's always loud."
"Wow, rude! And unreasonable! I demand an apology!"
Hearing them argue and laugh like that brought a slight smile to Lena's lips. Anyone listening to them now would only hear perfectly normal boys and girls her age. It felt odd that they weren't here with her.
"What's the cat's name?" she asked fondly, and everyone Resonating with her answered at the same time.
"Blackie."
"Whitey."
"Calico."
"Chibi."
"Kitty."
"Remarque."
"For the hundredth time, stop naming it after whatever author you're reading at the moment! It's too random! Also, what the hell are you even reading? Get something decent, dammit."
That last name Laughing Fox added wasn't an actual name, it seemed. Lena was still confused, though.
"Are there really that many cats there…?"
"Didn't you hear the story? There's just the one."
That answer only left Lena more confused. Black Dog explained concisely:
"It's a black kitten, but its paws are white. That's why we call it Blackie, Whitey, and Calico. We don't actually have a set name for it, so we just call it whatever we feel like at the time. Recently, it learned to just come over if we look its way and say something."
So that's why.
"But why not just decide on a name?"
"…Hmm. Well, that's because—"
After a moment of hesitance, Black Dog seemed to have decided to answer. But the next moment, he cut the link.
Kurena suddenly sat up, as if kicking the chair away, and stormed out of the room. Daiya, who'd been sitting right next to her, went after Kurena. The chair slammed against the floor clamorously.
"…? Did something happen?"
Daiya had cut off his Resonance, and Kurena hadn't been connected to begin with. Shin spoke to keep up appearances.
"Yes, a rat appeared."
"A rat?!"
"That one's a bit too convincing."
Theo's whisper hadn't reached the Handler's ears. She asked whether they had rats often in the barracks… She was probably scared of them or something, because her voice was surprisingly timid. Giving her a half-hearted reply, Shin gazed at the ajar door Kurena had slammed on her way out.
In the middle of the hallway, Daiya caught up to Kurena, who was breathing in short, heavy breaths, as if trying to reduce the stress she'd accumulated over a long period. Just listening to that voice made her sick. It disgusted her so much, Kurena eventually couldn't take it anymore. That woman had stolen these peaceful little evenings they had all enjoyed together every day until now. They were such pleasant, precious times, and now…
"Kurena…"
"Why do they keep talking to her?"
"It's just for the time being. You know that little princess will stop connecting on her own soon."
Daiya shrugged with eyes so cold, it made his usual mischievousness seem like a lie. It would be the same as always. No Handler was ever able to tolerate being Resonated to the Reaper for long, after all. That girl didn't know the origin of Shin's other name yet. She was just fortunate enough to not have had those particular enemies show up yet, but that luck would run out sooner or later.
The heretical Black Sheep that hide among the flock of Legion. Or that was the inspiration behind the name, but by now, the Black Sheep far outnumbered the normal Legion. And even the Shepherd, who was far more dangerous, hadn't appeared yet, either.
Kurena ground her teeth. She knew that much; she really did, but still…
"Shin should just break her already." Anger and irritation overwhelming her, Kurena spat spiteful, stinging words. "What's the point of being this worried over one stinking white pig? They've got the sync rate set low, after all."
"Of course they do. Shin doesn't break the Handlers because he wants to, you know?"
To properly communicate over the tumultuous sounds of the battlefield, it was standard protocol to set the Para-RAID's sync rate to the absolute lowest so that only the speakers' voices could be heard.
Daiya spoke, not as a rebuke but anxiously.
"Besides, can you say that to Shin's face? 'I don't like that woman, so just break her.' Could you tell him to do that—to his face?"
"…"
Kurena bit her lip. Daiya was right. It was a horrible thing to say. Shin and everyone else, they were more than just her friends. They were her family. And there was no way she could say something that awful to family. To Shin, it became a routine, a part of his day-to-day life. But still…
"I'm sorry… But I just can't forgive her. They killed my mom and dad. They toyed with them like they were targets at a shooting range."
It had happened one night during an escort to an internment camp. The Alba soldiers had decided to test where they could hit the prisoners or how much they could endure before dying. They tortured her parents to death, laughing all the while. They sent Kurena's sister, who was seven years older, to the battlefield immediately after. She had been fourteen—just a year younger than Kurena was now. Her sister, who'd tried to drive away those scumbags, who'd tried to treat her parents' wounds as their blood dripped from her hands. And in the end, the ones who'd apologized to Kurena and her sister for failing to save their parents were Alba and Celena soldiers.
"The white pigs are all scum… I will never, ever forgive them."
When the two returned, the conversation had ricocheted from rats to stories about the landscape you could see only on the front lines until finally settling on the topic of a meteor shower Kaie saw once. Daiya gave a brief shrug at Raiden's inquisitive glance and returned to fixing the radio while Kurena sat down on the floor near Shin and picked up the kitten to play with it.
In truth, it probably didn't want to play that much, but the kitten had eventually obliged her calls, tottering away from Shin, who had changed his position to allow Kurena to sit next to him. It had plopped off the bed but kept its distance at first while wearing an indifferent expression, before Kurena finally scooped it up.
"—Really, Kirschblüte? Were there really that many shooting stars?"
"More than I could count. It was, I think, two years ago? I looked up, and before I knew it, a few stars were already falling. The whole sky was full of light… It was…such a sight."
Kirschblüte—Kaie—gave a nod as she began dealing cards in Kurena's stead. Raiden had seen that meteor shower, too, but at the time, they were all stuck in the middle of the battlefield, surrounded by the remains of enemies and allies alike. Shin was the only one next to him, and both their Juggernauts were out of energy. They had to wait for Fido to find them and couldn't budge an inch until it did. It certainly wasn't a beautiful, romantic night they could look back on and laugh about.
Without the artificial light humans brought, the battlefield was enveloped in total darkness at night, the kind of darkness the term pitch-black was made to describe. The landscape was dyed completely black, with the only light coming from the skies above, illuminated as if lit with pale-blue flames; a suffocating, solemn silence blanketed everything. It all produced the apocalyptic illusion that the world had been shattered to pieces and left to crumble, as if it had been set ablaze.
Raiden had thought, at the time, that perhaps dying wouldn't be so bad if that was the last thing he got to see, and admitting that to Shin was a disgrace he would never live down. Shin had actually scoffed at him. What a prick.
"I'll probably never see anything like it again… You get shooting stars every year, but it can take decades between meteor showers, and one with that many stars is probably once in a century… Oh, that's something Sirius (Kujo) told me before."
"That's a shame… I wish I could have seen it, too."
"Can't you see the stars over there?"
"The city lights are on all night long. We never see the stars at night here."
"Oh…" Kaie smiled faintly. How nostalgic. "Yeah, that's what it was like… It's pitch-black here at night. There are hardly any people, we're in the middle of nowhere, and they really do turn all the lights off at lights out. So we usually have a great view of the stars. You know how they say 'a starlit sky'? It's like that. That's probably one of the nicer things about living here."
"…"
The Handler fell silent at Kaie's words. She likely never expected to hear a Processor, who should be living in a hell on Earth, say they were glad to be where they were. She posed her next question with a meek, almost resolved sort of tone. It was a voice willing to receive all the condemnation and abuse they might throw at her, since it was her responsibility, after all.
"Kirschblüte… Do you…resent us?"
Kaie hesitated for a short moment.
"…Well obviously, being discriminated against doesn't feel too great, and it's really, really vexing. Life in the internment camps was terrible, and fighting is always scary. So I can't help but hate the people who forced this life on us while saying it's okay to treat us this way because Eighty-Six aren't even human."
Kaie continued, preventing the Handler from offering words of remorse or self-condemnation. She wouldn't accept a canned apology.
"But I do know that not all the Alba are bad people… Just like I know that not all the Eighty-Six are saints, either."
"Huh…?"
Kaie's lips curled up in a bitter smile.
"See, I'm an Orienta, so there were all sorts of problems in the internment camps and my old squadrons."
And it wasn't just Kaie. Anju had had issues in the past, too…and so had Shin, probably, though he was tight-lipped about it. Those who had Alba blood flowing through their veins or were descendants of the Empire—especially those of noble birth—were persecuted in the internment camps. That lineage was actually the primary reason for their internment. It was probably easy for everyone there to use them as an outlet for their frustrations, and the eastern and southern races were always the minority in the camps.
The Eighty-Six weren't all innocent victims. The world always sided against the few and turned its back on the weak.
"Anyway, we do know there are good Alba out there, too. I haven't seen it personally, but some of the others have. So I don't resent you just for being an Alba."
"I see… I should be grateful to those people, too, then."
Kaie sat up, bending her body forward. Even though they were talking via Para-RAID, she still found herself moving as if the Handler were sitting right in front of her.
"I've got a question for you, too. Why are you so interested in us?"
Suddenly, an image of flames appeared in Shin's mind, and he raised his eyes from his book. He'd never attended a bonfire or a burning at the stake, so it was likely one of the Handler's memories.
"A Processor just like all of you saved me once, in the past…"
Lena recalled that day.
"'We are Republic citizens. We were born in this country and raised in this country.
"'Even if no one acknowledges that anymore, that's exactly why we need to prove it. Protecting the motherland is a Republic citizen's duty and pride. That is why we fight.'
"The words left behind by the person who saved me. I always wanted to answer those earnest words, and that's why I…"
"He said he was a Republic citizen and would fight to prove that. And I think we have to answer the words he left behind. Simply sending you to fight without even sparing you a passing glance, without ever trying to get to know you, would be going against that… It's unforgivable."
Raiden's eyes narrowed at those painfully beautiful words. Kaie listened and, after the Handler finished speaking, paused for thought before opening her mouth.
"Handler One… You're a real pure virgin, aren't you?"
"Pfft—?!"
They could hear the Handler spit out tea or some other beverage. Everyone Resonated burst out in laughter. Kurena and Haruto, who weren't Resonated, looked at everyone else with baffled expressions and started laughing, too, after Anju explained what had happened. The Handler girl was coughing, and Kaie, who was shocked at everyone's response, suddenly went pale.
"…Oh my God, I'm sorry! I got the words confused! I meant maiden! A real pure maiden!"
One normally wouldn't mix those two up, and the meaning wasn't that different anyway. Daiya and Haruto looked like they were just about to die laughing, beating heartily on the tables and walls (Kino shouted an angry "Knock it off, assholes!" from the other side of the wall), and even Shin was laughing, uncharacteristically, his shoulders shaking. Kaie, on the other hand, was gradually becoming more and more panicked.
"I meant, like, you know, the kind of girl who thinks the world's some wonderful field of flowers, who's got this perfect, unblemished ideal she's protecting and, like… What I'm trying to say is…!"
The Handler was obviously blushing and completely stiff.
"You're not a bad person, okay? So let me warn you right now," said Kaie, who had somehow calmed down. "You're not cut out for this job and definitely not someone who should interact with us. We're not fighting for that kind of noble reason, so you shouldn't get involved… You should switch with someone else. Before you regret it."
Kaie said she wasn't a bad person.
But she never said she was a good person.
At the time, Lena had no way of understanding why that was.
"Handler One to all units. We've detected the enemy on the radar."
On that day, the entire Spearhead squadron was out on a mission, and Lena was in the command room, speaking to them with her eyes locked on the screen.
"The bulk of the enemy offensive is a mixed force of Dragoon types and Tank types, with a company of Anti-Tank Artillery types (Stier) accompanying them—"
"We've confirmed their location, Handler One. We're preparing to intercept them at point 478."
She had intended to inform them of the enemy position and propose a strategy they should employ but, having been cut off in the middle, was left confused and muttered an acknowledgment.
The veteran Spearhead squadron didn't seem to need Lena's assistance very much, and recently, her role was mostly to support them so each member would be able to fully exhibit their talents and skills. She would analyze the enemy's movements or adjust resupplies so they would reach the right hands at the right time, and she spent her days poring over documents in the filing room for information regarding the squadron's appointed region.
Recently, she had been repeatedly appealing for permission to use the interception cannon at the back of the Sector. If she could use the artillery cannon, its range would allow her to at least somewhat suppress the Skorpion types' artillery assaults. It would make battles much easier, but the cannon was a throwaway model—once fired, it needed to be recalibrated and reset. The officers over at the Transport Division weren't willing to go to that sort of trouble for "a bunch of Eighty-Six," which meant Lena's requests were falling on deaf ears. They also said something along the lines of "Isn't it already all rusted up?"
Just as Lena was remembering that irritating exchange, Laughing Fox spoke.
"Undertaker. Gunslinger is in position."
"Laughing Fox to Undertaker, third squad, likewise in position."
Gradually, everyone had gotten into position. It was a perfect interception formation, set as if they knew the Legion's course. The Spearhead squadron's Processors always seemed to move as if they were predicting the Legion's actions. Maybe there was some kind of omen only they could see.
Lena thought she should ask about this once this fight was over. If they were able to implement this method in other squadrons, the mortality rate of Processors during raids should drop drastically. The way priceless information like this was used only in individual areas and never spread out to other squadrons was a huge flaw in this distorted system.
With those thoughts in mind, Lena spoke while examining the first ward's map she had finally found yesterday.
"Undertaker. Please have Gunslinger change her position. Post her at three o'clock, three hundred meters from her current location. If she hides there, she'll have the high ground. She'll be sniping from a ridge, and it should provide a much better field of vision."
After a moment's pause, Undertaker responded.
"We'll confirm its location… Gunslinger, can you see that point?"
"I'll check—give me ten seconds… Yeah, I can see it. Moving over there now."
"That position is in the opposite direction from the first squad, who'll be serving as vanguard. Considering Undertaker's strategy of causing a disturbance in the enemy forces before engaging units individually, this should create an opening that will deceive the enemy in the early phases of the operation."
Wehrwolf chuckled.
"So she'll be bait. For having such a pretty voice, you've got guts, princess."
"…The Tank and Anti-Tank Artillery types aren't good at changing angles of elevation. They shouldn't be able to shoot directly at Gunslinger once she's up there, and if they change their firing position, the surrounding terrain should serve as cover—"
"Don't get me wrong… It's a good plan. Ain't that right, Gunslinger?"
"I'll do anything if it means helping everyone."
She answered valiantly, but her voice became much colder when she addressed Lena directly:
"Did you find a new map or something? Must be convenient."
Lena smiled wryly. This girl, Gunslinger, didn't seem to like her. She would always disconnect during their daily briefings, and whenever they did talk, she always had a blatantly cold, blunt attitude.
The map Lena was holding had been made by the Republic's ground forces and was the highly detailed product of painstaking months of combat and reconnaissance. For some reason, it hadn't been shared with the frontline bases that desperately needed it. The Processors were currently relying on maps they'd found in the nearby ruins, to which they'd added notes and amendments as they used them. Thanks to that, they knew the common interception points and attack routes but weren't as knowledgeable about the topography.
"Do you want me to transmit it over later?"
It had too much data to transfer during an engagement, when bandwidth was limited, but that wouldn't be an issue later, when they had time.
Wehrwolf chuckled derisively.
"Sure ya wanna do that? You'd be transmitting military secrets to us Eighty-Six, 'citizens of inimical character.'"
"I don't mind. What's the point of having this information if it's not being used?"
Those words seemed to take Wehrwolf by surprise. He gave a surprised "Huh" and fell silent. To begin with, it had been an unfiled, unmanaged document until Lena dug it out of a mountain of cardboard boxes. How confidential could it be if no one would even notice if she copied or misplaced it?
The Republic's ground forces and rear personnel had been driven off the battlefield and annihilated in the opening stages of the war nine years ago, and there was no actual succession of their operations and paperwork. As such, a great deal of their documentation had been orphaned, its whereabouts unknown and unmanaged. Any proper soldier would see how grave of a problem that was.
"Also, you are not Eighty-Six. If nothing else, I've never called you that—"
"Yeah, yeah… Tch. They're coming."
Lena could feel tension fill the other side of the Resonance. It even felt like some were excited for the battle to begin, probably stemming from their long service or the adrenaline rush of being on the battlefield.
The roar of a cannon, powerful enough to shake even the pit of her stomach, echoed in her ears from the other side of the Resonance.
The battle proceeded swiftly, and the red blips signifying the Legion were gradually disappearing from the map. The Spearhead squadron had cut through a primeval forest in the combat zone in order to detour around and decimate a group of high-firepower, low-mobility Stier. This would also allow them to draw the Ameise and Grauwolf types into the forest, where they could be separated and taken out individually. The dense forest had the added benefit of limiting the Löwe's maneuverability, as they were incapable of making tight turns. It greatly impacted their field of vision and range of attack as well.
Without enough room to maneuver, the Legion were forced to split into smaller groups and forfeit their numerical advantage. Looking at it from the side, it almost seemed as if the Processors were performing an operation they had long since gotten used to. However, in this kind of battlefield, that was simply impossible.
Evading a shell fired its way, a single Juggernaut—Kirschblüte—dived through the series and went into a dash, trying to aim at a Löwe's left flank.
A shudder ran through Lena. The Löwe's position was strange. Judging from the enemy's deployment, there shouldn't have been a Löwe there. The Legion were always vigilant, and in that formation, they wouldn't be able to provide cover for one another. Lena checked the area map in a panic and confirmed the enemy's advance. It was specified on the area map, but Kirschblüte probably couldn't see it; as far as she could tell, it was buried under something, hidden from sight—
"Get away from there, Kirschblüte!"
"Huh?"
Lena's warning came a moment too late. The blip marking Kirschblüte's unit on the radar screen unnaturally disappeared.
"What is this…?! A marsh?!"
Stuck in her now immobile unit, Kaie shook her head and groaned despairingly. Through the screen, she saw her Juggernaut's front legs were submerged halfway into the ground. What had looked like a piece of grassland turned out to be a marsh, the kind of soft terrain the badly balanced Juggernaut was the least capable of traversing.
She would have to walk backward to get out. Having reached that conclusion, she gripped the two sticks—
"Kirschblüte, get away from there right now!"
Shin's warning made Kaie raise her head. Lifting Kirschblüte's optical sensor, Kaie saw a Löwe standing right in front of her.
"…Ah."
She was inside the tank turret's minimum range, so the Löwe instead brandished its front legs. It did so coldly, with the ruthlessness of clockwork that would never stop revolving, no matter how much the person trapped between its gears screamed or begged.
"No…"
It was a weak, faint plea, like a child on the verge of tears.
"I don't want to die…"
The Löwe moaned as it swung its legs. Fifty tons traveling at high speed decapitated Kirschblüte with a sweeping blow. The Processors had taken to grimly nicknaming the clamshell-type canopy as the Guillotine, since it was badly connected and tended to snap and fly away—along with its pilot—if it took a strong enough impact. And true to that terrible name, Kirschblüte's canopy disengaged from the rest of the unit.
Another round object flew off in the opposite direction, tumbling down into the ground and rolling away, never to be seen again…
After a moment of horrified silence, bellows and shouts of sorrow and indignation filled the Resonance.
"Kirschblüte…?! God dammit!!!"
"Undertaker, I'm going to collect her. Buy me a minute—we can't leave her there!"
Shin's reply was nothing but silence, like a frozen lake in a midwinter night.
"Don't, Snow Witch… They're using her body as a decoy. It's an ambush."
The Löwe that killed Kaie was still lurking somewhere nearby, waiting to down any enemies intent on retrieving an injured comrade or a corpse. It was originally an established sniper tactic. He could hear Anju's anguished breathing and a heavy thud as she hit the console in a rage. At the very least, Snow Witch fired a 57 mm explosive shell that enveloped Kirschblüte and its surroundings in flame.
"Kirschblüte, KIA. Fafnir (Kino), go cover for the fourth squad… There aren't many remaining enemies. Let's finish this before they can take advantage of Kirschblüte's loss."
"Roger."
The responses, however saddened or enraged, came with the calmness of veterans who had seen their comrades being blown away countless times. It was because they were experienced Name Bearers that the sight of a friendly unit's blip suddenly becoming a Signal Lost had grown so sickeningly familiar.
They knew all too well that they had to suppress their grief until the battle was over. Otherwise, they'd only join their companions as corpses. Their experience allowed them to detach from their emotions and maintain the coolheadedness they needed to survive. It was the consciousness of humans who had adapted to the madness of the battlefield and degraded into cold, calculated killing machines.
With only a moment's pause—a single, bitter intake of breath—the swarm of quadruped mechanical spiders resumed their clamorous scurry into the shade of the trees. And like the shambling skeletons of the dead lying in wait under the dimly lit entrance at the underworld's edge, they wandered about, seeking anyone they could sink their claws into—anyone to strangle and drag down to the same place their fallen companion had gone.
Shortly after, the Legion forces were eradicated. Not forced to retreat, but quite literally eradicated. Feeling that this was the will of the remaining Processors, Lena's heart filled with sorrow.
It had only been the other day, just the other day, that Kirschblüte had told her about the meteor shower. As Lena remembered Kirschblüte's prideful words, regret and grief pressed against her heart. If only she'd found this map sooner. If only she'd warned her in time…
"Situation resolved—good work, everyone."
"…"
No one answered her. They were probably all grieving in their own ways.
"About Kirschblüte… I'm—I'm so sorry. If only I'd been more—"
That moment.
She could feel a deep, terrifying silence radiating from the other side of the Resonance.
"You're sorry?"
Laughing Fox answered, as if repressing something on the verge of exploding, something creaking behind his otherwise calm voice.
"You? Sorry? What are you sorry for? An Eighty-Six or two might die for all you care, but at the end of the day, you still go home, have your dinner, and go to sleep all safe and sound, right? Stop spouting bullshit with that meek little voice of yours."
It took Lena a moment to properly process what she'd just heard. Noticing Lena couldn't think of anything to say on the spot, Laughing Fox muttered a "Listen here, you…" before continuing. This time, he made no attempt to mask his hostility, unqualified bitterness coloring his tone.
"I mean, sure, when we have nothing better to do, maybe we can play along with your little game of pretend. You get to say you never discriminate, never treat us like pigs, that you're a pure, noble, virtuous person, that it's all a misunderstanding, and you're a goddamn saint. Sure, when nothing's going on, we can stroke your stupid ego, but read the fucking mood! One of our friends just fucking died. We don't have the time to indulge your bullshit right now, so get a goddamn clue already, you hypocrite."
"Hyp—"
Hypocrite?
"Or what? Do you think we don't care that our friend just died? —Oh, that's right; to you, the Eighty-Six are just the Eighty-Six, after all. We're inferior pigs who can't compare to a noble human like you, aren't we?!"
"Tha—"
Bombarded with one inconceivable accusation after another, Lena's mind went completely blank.
"That's not true! I have never…!"
"Not true? Which part isn't true?! You're the one safe and sound inside the walls, kicking back while you watch us do all the fighting after your people threw us into this hellhole! You're blatantly accepting what's being done to us by sitting there like you're entitled to comfort! If that's not treating us like pigs, then what would you call it?!"
"…!"
Lena could feel the Processors' emotions through the Resonance. Some were indifferent. Others, Laughing Fox included, carried varying degrees of contempt and hostility. And from others, she simply felt resignation. But the one thing they all had in common was that coldness.
"You never called us Eighty-Six? Not calling us that was the only thing you did do! Protecting the state is a citizen's duty? Answering those feelings? Screw that! Do you think we're fighting out here because we want to?! You're the ones who trapped us here! You forced us to fight! You've let millions of us die these past nine years, haven't you?! And you do nothing to stop that and think that if you talk to us all Goody Two-shoes every night it'll make it all better?! For starters—"
And without a hint of mercy, Laughing Fox ruthlessly gouged into Lena's heart with what followed. The undeniable proof that Lena, despite trying to treat them like humans, had ultimately seen them as pigs.
"—not once have you ever even asked us our names!"
Her breath caught in her throat.
"Ah..."
That realization left her reeling in utter disbelief. He was right. She didn't know their names. She'd never asked. Not anyone—not even Undertaker, who was always the first to answer her calls. Not Kirschblüte, always the one who talked to her the most. And of course, she'd never told any of them her name. Handler One. She'd presented herself as their supervisor, with just the title that role granted her and only ever in that capacity. It might have been acceptable if it had been by mutual agreement, but otherwise, this was a terribly disrespectful way to treat a fellow human.
And she had done just that, without batting an eye. Without ever realizing. You should know to treat livestock as livestock. Yes, just like her mother had said with her composed expression. Was the only difference between her and Lena that Lena simply never put it into words—?
Tears welled in her eyes. Words wouldn't come, but she could feel a wail of shame clawing its way up her chest, begging to be let out. She clamped her hands over her mouth to suppress it. She'd only just become aware of it. But now she was so terribly afraid of how ugly she could be, of the way she could trample and look down upon someone else as if it was a matter of course, not once feeling shame for it.
Wehrwolf—no, the Colorata boy whose face she'd never seen, whose name she'd never asked for, interjected into the conversation with a low voice.
"Theo."
"Raiden! Are you going to defend this white pig—?"
"Theo."
"…Fine, I get it."
Laughing Fox clicked his tongue once, and his presence disappeared from the Resonance. Heaving a deep sigh, as if to rid himself of the feelings filling his own chest, Wehrwolf turned his attention to Lena.
"Handler One. Close the Resonance."
"…Wehrwolf, I—"
"The battle's over. You have no reason to command us anymore, do you? …Laughing Fox was out of line, but that doesn't mean we're in the mood to chat with you."
His tone was cold, but the lack of even a sliver of condemnation in his voice felt even more inhumane and detached to Lena. He didn't judge her for her faults, and he didn't blame her, either, because he was completely resigned. Resigned that he was speaking to someone who would never listen to him no matter what he said or did—someone who was only pretending to talk but didn't understand what others were saying. Maybe not even what she herself was saying. A pig in human form.
"…I'm sorry."
Barely managing a shaky reply, she closed the Resonance. Not a single voice had answered those words.
Everyone else gradually cut the link with the Handler, and Theo remained there, feeling terrible. After a while, Anju Resonated with him.
"Theo."
"…I know, okay?" he answered gloomily.
Hating how childish his own voice sounded, Theo sneered in self-loathing.
"I get how you feel, but you went too far. Even if what you said is true, putting it like that was too much."
"Yeah, I get it… Sorry."
He knew that. They'd all decided together that was how it should be and all realized as much before even putting it into words. Which was why, up until now, that was what they'd done. Saying everything on his mind in the harshest possible manner didn't make him feel any better. If anything, it only left him irritated and on edge. He didn't have an outlet for his frustration, and he felt like the precious friends he'd lost would snap at him at any second for his behavior. It was a precious promise, and he'd broken it because of that stupid white pig. But still, the reason he couldn't hold back his anger was definitely…
"…Your old captain?"
"Yeah…"
He could still remember his back, broad and reliable.
He'd been the captain of the first unit Theo had been posted in, back when he'd enlisted at the young age of twelve. The captain had been cheery and jovial, and everyone in the squad had hated him. Theo had hated him, too, at the time. He'd inherited the Personal Mark of a laughing fox from him. And back then, he hadn't known how to draw yet and had tried his best to replicate the drawing of the fox that had always laughed beneath the captain's canopy. But he only ever managed a deformed caricature with an artificial, stuck-on smile.
Theo couldn't forgive that white pig girl who wore the same expression as that captain, who acted like she was some kind of saint for mourning Kaie's death. He couldn't forgive her, but in lashing out at her, all he'd achieved was…
"I'm sorry, Kaie…"
He cast down his eyes, looking at Kirschblüte's burned wreckage. He was used to this by now, to this being the sole remains of friends they weren't permitted to bury or bring back.
"I acted like one of those pigs and dishonored your death…"
You, Kaie. Proud, noble Kaie, even after all the things you went through, not once did you ever put your grudge to words, even at the very end…
On the nights after a death, everyone in the unit would isolate themselves or perhaps stay with one other person, each of them grieving in their own way. So that night, no one came to hang around Shin's room.
The moon and stars shone brightly, so Shin kept the light off. Leaning against his table illuminated by a pale-blue glow, Shin opened his bloodred eyes at the sound of a modest knock against the windowpane. Looking down from the window, he found Fido standing outside the barracks, extending its crane arm. Pinched between the manipulator at its tip was a thin piece of metal.
"Thanks."
"Pi."
Having made its delivery, Fido flickered its optical sensor once as if blinking before turning around and returning to its regular duties. A Scavenger's usual job consisted of carrying a container full of scrap metal and salvage from the battlefield to the automatic factory's furnace for recycling.
As Shin placed the piece of metal on a cloth he'd laid out beforehand, the Para-RAID activated. Stopping his hands for a moment as he unwrapped a piece of cloth containing a few simple work tools, Shin furrowed his brow. He was the sole recipient of this Resonance, and its sender wasn't someone from the base.
"..."
Shin sighed as the other side remained silent despite having initiated this call. He opened his mouth to speak to the dejected presence on the far end of the collective unconscious.
"Do you need something, Handler One?"
The presence wavered, as if a surprised shiver ran through it, but still remained silent. Shin waited out this noticeably reluctant pause, waiting for the caller to speak. A considerable while after Shin had resumed his work, the Handler girl finally opened her mouth. When he heard her voice, feeble and faint, as if afraid of rejection, his hands stopped.
"…Um…"
She'd thought that if he spurned her, she'd obligingly end the call, right there and then. And it was exactly because she was prepared to do so that hearing Shin's calm voice respond to her as always made her lose her nerve all the more. After a few rounds of attempting to speak and catching her choked breath, the words finally came out.
"…Um, Undertaker. Is now a good time to talk?"
"Sure. Go ahead."
His plain reply came quiet and serene, without a hint of emotion. But Lena realized for the first time that this detached, unchanging tone came not from his composed disposition, but rather from his complete lack of interest in or feeling for her.
Rebuking her heart, which had been on the verge of curling up in fear, she lowered her head. This was probably cowardice, too. She knew she should be saying this to everyone, but she couldn't muster the courage to contact Laughing Fox and Wehrwolf, who probably wouldn't be willing to Resonate with her.
"I'm sorry. For what happened this afternoon and everything I've done until now. I'm truly sorry… Um…"
She clenched both her hands in her lap.
"My name is…Lena. Vladilena…Milizé. I know this might be coming too late, but…could you please tell me your name?"
There was a short pause. Fear weighed down on Lena as she listened to the static noise and the heavy silence on the other side.
"…If what Laughing Fox said is still bothering you…" He sounded indifferent, his words being thrust out curtly, as if he was merely stating the facts. "…Then it shouldn't. What he said doesn't reflect the opinions of everyone else. We all know you didn't personally put us in this situation and that you don't have the power to undo it, either. You have no reason to feel guilty just because someone blamed you for not doing something you can't possibly do."
"But…not even trying to learn your names is terribly disrespectful!"
"You didn't ask for our names because you didn't need to. Why do you think we're obligated to use call signs when the Legion can't tap into the Para-RAID? Why do you think Processors' personnel files are never disclosed?"
"Lena pursed her lips bitterly. That unsettling answer easily came to mind.
"So Handlers wouldn't have to see Processors as humans…right?"
"That's right. Most Processors don't live to see a year after drafting. Whoever's in charge probably thought the weight of all those deaths would be too much for a Handler to bear."
"But that's cowardly! I'm…"
Her voice had begun fading before she even noticed.
"…I was a coward…and I don't want to stay that way. If it wouldn't be too much trouble to give me your name…please tell me."
Shin sighed again. This girl can be so obstinate…
"…Kaie Taniya. That's Kirschblüte's—the Processor who died today. That's her real name."
"!"
He could feel happiness coming from the other side of the Resonance, but it died down swiftly when she realized it was the name of the girl who'd been killed. In contrast to that, Shin gave her the names of his companions matter-of-factly.
"Vice Captain Wehrwolf's name is Raiden Shuga. Laughing Fox is called Theoto Rikka. Snow Witch is Anju Emma. Gunslinger is Kurena Kukumila. Black Dog is Daiya Irma—"
He named his twenty squad members, and the Handler added her name to the end.
"And I'm Vladilena Milizé. Please call me Lena."
"I heard you mention it earlier. What's your rank?"
"Oh, yes, of course. It's major. I've only recently been promoted, though…"
"Then I'll refer to you as Major Milizé going forward. Is that acceptable?"
"…Honestly…"
Hearing Shin insist on standing on ceremony and treating her as a commanding officer, Lena smiled wryly. She then noticed something and asked:
"It doesn't seem like anyone's with you today… What are you doing?"
Shin was silent for a second.
"—Her name."
"Huh?"
"I'm taking Kaie's name… Since we Eighty-Six aren't allowed to have graves."
He held up the small piece of metal against the faint-blue moonlight. Painstakingly carved into the rectangular shard of aluminum alloy was Kaie's full name, as well as an inscription in black-and-red paint. It was an etching of a five-petal sakura flower and the symbol for cherry blossom—Kirschblüte—written in her people's language, to signify her Juggernaut's Personal Mark.
"When I was still with my first unit, I made a promise with the rest of the folks there. We would etch the names of those who fell in battle on the remains of their Juggernauts, and whoever stayed alive the longest carried these fragments with them. That way, the survivor would be able to take everyone with them to their final destination."
The truth was that, at the time, even retrieving a shard of a dead Processor's unit was often impossible, so they would just use whatever piece of metal or wood they could find and carve the names with a nail. It wasn't much, but it was proof their comrades existed. Shin had only been able to consistently get his hands on the units' debris after Fido learned how to do it. They always tried to gather the piece directly below the canopy, where the Personal Mark was etched onto the armor.
They were all kept together in the equipment compartment in Undertaker's cockpit, since the deaths of his first squad mates right up until now. All so he could fulfill the pact they'd made together.
"I was the last one left back then, and that's how it's always been till now. That's why I have to take them with me. I'll take everyone who fought and died alongside me to my final destination."
His serene voice gouged at Lena's heart. He was different from before, from that unfeeling impression she had of him. She suddenly felt very ashamed. He had carried so much death—all these lost lives—with him, silently shouldering the burden. Bearing everything without letting even a single word of lamentation rise to the surface, shouldering it all as if that was to be expected.
In contrast, she couldn't even properly face one person's death this afternoon, only mourning but not truly coming to terms with it. She finally understood how terribly she must have offended them: the ones who bore the weight of their dead comrades in silence.
"How many have died so far…?"
"Five hundred and sixty-one Processors, including Kaie."
The immediacy of his response made Lena bite her lip. She couldn't even remember how many people had died under her command. Even though the tally was far fewer, if asked, she'd have to consider and count.
"…Is that why they call you Undertaker?"
"That's part of it, yes."
He who silently buried his myriad comrades. In place of the graves they were denied, he carried those little pieces of aluminum and countless memories. It made sense that everyone liked him so much.
This boy known as the Undertaker must be kinder than anyone else— But just as that occurred to her, her thoughts ground to a halt. With a gasp, Lena opened her eyes wide.
"Um… Undertaker?"
The fact that he still hadn't realized she'd called him by that name stood as evidence of Shin's fundamental lack of interest in everything that went on around him.
"You…still haven't told me your name…"
Shin blinked absently a few times. She seemed to be asking whether he didn't want to give her his name, but that wasn't the case. He'd simply forgotten.
"Pardon me. It's Shinei Nouzen."
As far as Shin was considered, his normal name and his Personal Name were both nothing more than codes to specify him, and he didn't particularly mind which one people used. He intended to say as much, but— Hearing Lena gulp in surprise made him raise his eyes quizzically.
"Nouzen…?!"
Before Lena could even finish repeating his name in astonishment, a loud THUNK! rang out as something heavy slammed against the floor. Apparently, she'd jumped from her seat, knocking down the chair in the process.
"Could you possibly be related to Shourei Nouzen?! He was a Name Bearer called Dullahan and piloted a unit with a Personal Mark depicting a headless skeletal knight—"
Shin's eyes widened, ever so slightly.
"We're going to see the battlefield, Lena. To see everything that happens there, with our own eyes."
That day, the Republic Armed Forces' Colonel Václav Milizé had boarded a reconnaissance plane with his then ten-year-old daughter, Lena.
"Aren't they fighting there, Father?"
"Yes, that's right. But the Republic… We are doing something even worse than a war there."
Václav was one of the Armed Forces' few survivors, and while he and his comrades fought to defend their family and friends, their beloved homeland had enacted terrible laws that dealt a horrible blow to their dignity. They had marked a portion of the citizens they were supposed to protect as subhuman and had driven them out of their homes, imprisoned them, and forced them into war. An incident that had happened at a certain small town still refused to leave his memories.
In place of its ruined army, the Republic hurriedly scraped together young conscripts, the majority of them being uneducated fellows who had lost their jobs due to their own sloth and violent tendencies. On top of that, for their first mission, they had guns shoved in their hands and were then ordered to drive out their fellow citizens. Their morale, which was low to begin with, plummeted quickly, and acts of violence and oppression ran rampant among all units.
Václav could still remember the sight of two children watching as the soldiers beat their parents to death, laughing all the while. He would never forget one of the girls, presumably the older sister, and her cold eyes, refusing to shed a single tear. Those eyes would never leave him. Those girls would probably never forgive the Alba or the Republic for as long as they lived.
"…We have to end this… We have to end this as soon as possible."
The reconnaissance plane sailed across the sky silently, all so Václav could show his daughter what lay beyond the walls.
Those who lived in the First Sector rarely traveled outside the walls. Beyond the outer Sectors' production plants' hills and the solar/geothermic/wind-energy plants' grasslands and forests, the Gran Mule looked down upon all with the solemn majesty of a mighty mountain. When she saw the massive walls for the first time, Lena's eyes had lit up with excitement. But her expression had darkened, and she fell silent as the minefields and the internment camps surrounded by barbed wire fences came into view. Watching his daughter's meek expression as she looked out the plane's window, Václav smiled. Lena was a smart girl. Even without him having to say a word, she learned and understood on her own.
Deploying a military aircraft for personal use and letting an unauthorized civilian board it were both explicit violations of military regulations, but Václav couldn't have cared less. The Republic military at the time was manned by soldiers in name only, the kind of scum who were only interested in spending their working hours playing games and gambling, changing to alcohol and women at the end of the day.
"Go a bit farther after we finish with the frontline bases, all right? I want her to see the battlefield," he told the pilot gripping the control stick.
This cheerful pilot was a friend of his and seemed happy to have gotten the chance to fly a plane after being stuck in the eighty-five Sectors for so long. He nodded happily and said:
"Roger that, Colonel… But didn't the boys over at Transport set that area as a no-fly zone?"
"Eh, don't worry about it. We're not going into the contested zones, and besides, it'll be night by the time we get there. The Legion won't move."
The Legion fundamentally operated during daytime, since they ran off electricity. Ordinarily, they would remain in the areas they controlled and receive energy packs. Once those ran out, they would deploy solar panels and recharge that way. Since they couldn't charge at night, they ran the risk of running out of power midcombat and, as such, tended to avoid nighttime engagements.
If Václav were to be brutally frank, he did want to show Lena just how ferocious fighting against the Legion could become, but…looking at that small back, Václav once again realized he couldn't put his daughter's life at risk for that.
But Václav had forgotten. Perhaps without noticing, he himself had assumed that only the Eighty-Six could die on the battlefield and there was no danger to people like him. There was a reason they were cut off from contact with other countries and why they never attempted to attack the Legion from the sky.
The Stachelschwein.
They had scattered throughout the Republic's sky shortly after the fighting had begun and annihilated their air forces. Hiding between the flocks of communication-jamming butterflies were the Anti-Aircraft Mobile Cannon–type Legion.
The battlefield's dark night sky, far from the artificial lights of civilization, suddenly flashed with light as red flames fell from the heavens with a deafening roar. The reconnaissance plane plummeted, its burning tail leaving a blazing trail in its wake as it rapidly descended toward the earth—
A certain squadron's captain, who was out on night patrol, happened to catch sight of the crashing plane.
"Hey. I think I just saw a reconnaissance plane—"
"Huh? Oh. Forget that, Dullahan. It's probably just another stupid pig out sightseeing. A white pig or two dying is cause for us to celebrate more than anything, don'cha think?"
Ignoring his comrade's words, the captain closed his unit's canopy. He had bloodred hair and jet-black eyes hidden behind his glasses.
"Yo, Dullahan, what're you—?"
"I'm going to rescue them… You guys continue the patrol."
When she awoke, she was surrounded by a sea of flames.
Using both hands to straighten herself into an upright seated position, Lena looked around with eyes wide open. Everything was burning. Her father, too, was being roasted by the flames. Everything from his chest up was already gone.
She could hear an odd, loud wailing from outside as she crawled out of the hatch. A huge monster—so large that she was forced to look up at it—waited off to the side, the scarlet of the flames reflecting off the silvery sheen of its body as it looked down at her.
A single red eye that shone like glasswork scrutinized her. An all-purpose machine gun hung from its shoulders, the light glinting off its gray luster. Its arthropod, insect-like legs did not seem to move in sync with one another, creating the disgusting illusion that it was sliding her way.
She could see the pilot a distance away. He was shouting something and desperately firing a machine gun from his waist. Most of his shots missed, but a few hit and were deflected by the monster's armor, merely giving off sparks. The Ameise drew close to him, undisturbed by the bullets, and casually mowed him down with its front legs. The pilot's upper half was severed with almost comical ease, and a pillar of blood gushed out of his now-abandoned lower half.
The Ameise's composite sensor unit then flickered as it turned in Lena's direction. Just as she shrank her body down helplessly—
"If there's anyone still alive, plug your ears and get down!"
A loud voice bellowed at full volume from a speaker. Bursting through the veil of smoke and fire, a quadruped spider leaped in their direction, the night sky and crimson flames as its background. The symbol of a headless knight's skeleton carved into its flank etched itself into Lena's memory.
Both its grappling arms aimed heavy machine guns at the monster and opened fire. The thundering sound of the machine-gun fire tore into Lena's eardrums. The heavy weapons, which made an antipersonnel assault rifle seem like a peashooter in comparison, sprayed the Ameise with bullets capable of easily tearing through concrete walls and blowing armored vehicles to pieces. The lightly armored Ameise took the barrage as if dazed and then collapsed. Lena timidly looked up as the mechanical spider approached her with noisy, heavy footsteps.
"Are you all right?"
It spoke to her with a human voice and human words, but she was terrified. As she curled up in mute terror, the spider's abdomen opened, and a human figure rose from its rear. His hair was a bloodred color, and he wore a pair of black-rimmed glasses. He was a slender, intellectual-looking young man who seemed to be roughly in his twenties.
The man who'd saved her introduced himself as Shourei Nouzen. He took her to a place called a base, a building where lots of mechanical spiders stood. It was completely different from the First Sector, with stars filling up the sky and illuminating everything. There were a lot of other people at the base, but the man said she should stay away from them, and they didn't come closer, either. She did feel them glaring at her from a distance, and that frightened her.
Either way, when she heard his name, Lena blinked in surprise. She had never heard that name, and its ring was terribly unfamiliar.
"…What a weird name…"
"Yeah. Even in the Empire, it's a rare family name only my father's clan used. Same for my first name, too."
The man smiled wryly and shrugged.
"You can just call me Rei. My full name's a mouthful, isn't it? It has some history to it, but the Republic is pretty unfamiliar with it."
"You're not from the Republic?"
"My parents were both born in the Empire, but my little brother and I were born in the Republic… Right, I have a little brother. Should be about your age… He's probably gotten bigger by now."
Rei's smile became terribly lonely when he said that. There was a bitter, nostalgic look in his eyes, as if he were gazing out into the distance.
"You can't go see him?"
"…No. I can't go back yet."
Lena still didn't know yet that Eighty-Six who enlisted didn't get a single day's leave until they were discharged.
He asked if she was hungry, and though she hadn't had dinner, she wasn't. She shook her head, and Rei made an uncomfortable expression. Perhaps assuming she might be more receptive to sweets, he brought her some chocolate melted into hot water. Even the young Lena realized how precious chocolate must be here.
"Father said…"
"Hmm?"
"He told me we're doing something really bad to the Colorata. You're a Colorata, mister, so why did you protect me?"
Confronted with that direct question, Rei's expression took on a visibly bothered shade. It was the same face adults always made whenever Lena asked complicated questions, questions they always tried to dodge and not answer.
"…That's right. You're right—some pretty terrible stuff is happening to us right now. Our freedom was stolen from us along with our dignity. Those are unforgivable things, things that should never be allowed to happen to anyone. People are doing those horrible things to us, saying we're not civilians or even human, but subhuman pigs."
Deep, cold anger flickered in his dark eyes for a moment. He took a sip from his mug, as if trying to stifle that emotion.
"Still, we are Republic citizens. We were born in this country and raised in this country."
Those quiet words rang resolutely and passionately in Lena's ears.
"Even if no one acknowledges that anymore, that's exactly why we need to prove it. Protecting the motherland is a Republic citizen's duty and pride. That's why we fight. We fight and protect to prove that we can defend this country… So they can never belittle us and assume we're like the scum who can only talk and never act."
Lena blinked quizzically. To fight. To protect. To prove. But they were fighting things like that horrible monster from earlier…
"Aren't you scared…?"
"We're terrified. But if we don't fight, we can't survive."
Shrugging with a smile, Rei raised his eyes to the starlit sky. It glittered with stardust and looked like it should be making noise, but the fact that it was ever so silent struck Lena as terribly eerie. Between them and that flickering brilliance was an endlessly vast, endlessly deep void of pitch-black darkness.
The smile he'd worn on his lips to that point faded. Rei spoke resolutely, as if making an earnest oath.
"I won't die. I can't afford to die. I have to survive and go back. I have to go back to where my brother is waiting."
The now sixteen-year-old Lena could still remember Rei's earnest words and determined expression clearly, even years later. That was why, when she heard his family name unexpectedly, she couldn't contain her excitement and rose to her feet. She didn't even notice she'd knocked over her chair or that her teacup had fallen to the floor and shattered.
Rei had said his family name was unusual even in the Empire, and indeed, Lena had never heard of any other Nouzen aside from him. If they were from the same family and he was the same age as Lena, was it possible—?
Shin eventually spoke, answering that question. His voice sounded like he had suddenly awakened from slumber, with a dumbfounded tone Lena had never heard from this boy.
"…That was my brother."
"Your brother… Then that means…"
The little brother Rei said he couldn't meet again but wanted to see. The little brother he swore to return to—
Shin was that little brother.
"He said he wanted to see you and had to return to you… Do you know where your brother is right now?"
In contrast to Lena's voice, which was filled with excitement and elation, the emotionless coolness returned to Shin's words as he spoke.
"He passed away. Five years ago, on the eastern front."
Oh…
"…I'm sorry."
"It's all right."
His curt reply sounded as if he really didn't care one way or the other. The contrast between the coldness of his voice and the warmth of Rei's when he'd spoken of his little brother left Lena feeling confused. There was something different about Shin's silence that could not be explained by him having grown accustomed to seeing death. Lena struggled to find something to say to break the silence, and eventually, Shin spoke up.
"Do you remember when you asked me what I wanted to do once I was discharged?"
"Y-yes, of course."
"I still don't have anything I want to do in particular, even after I've been discharged. But there is something I have to do… I'm looking for my brother. For the past five years, it's all I've been doing."
Lena tilted her head. If Rei is already dead, and Shin already knows it, how…?
"Do you mean…his body?"
She could feel him smiling faintly.
Smiling…but not truly laughing. It was similar to a sneer but much colder. Like how a blade's lurid, glistening edge could captivate one's gaze… It was like madness.
"—No."
The next day.
The rest of the squadron heard the gist of their conversation from Shin, and when the Handler Resonated with them that night, they all joined in. She apologized and then asked each and every one of them for their names. Theo seemed particularly awkward.
"…Why'd you have to go and do that, Shin?"
"You regretted it, didn't you? You felt bad about the way you said it, even if you meant every word."
He was pretty observant, considering he never seemed to be looking at them. It annoyed Theo to know how transparent he was. Daiya was smirking, and Anju seemed to be looking over at him warmly, and God dammit, Kurena, why are you looking the other way like you've got nothing to do with this?! You were just as pissed off as I was, and I know for a fact that if I hadn't snapped at her, you'd have been yelling at her instead!
"Wait a sec, uh, Major Milizé, was it? Didn't Shin tell you our names already?"
"I asked him, yes. But I haven't heard them from all of you yet."
Even though she knew their names, she still wanted them to tell her themselves… What a pain.
Shin wouldn't say anything, and the Handler seemed to be shrinking in fear like a child awaiting punishment for knowing their names ahead of time. Observing this uncomfortable situation, Theo realized he was just about over it. He was never good at staying angry or stubborn enough to stay put out for long.
"…I remember this one guy. He was my captain in the first squad I was assigned to."
Lena seemed to have been taken aback by the sudden change in topic, but Theo continued without minding her.
"The dumb ass always had this cheery smile on his face, and he was a former soldier, so he was pretty strong… And he was an Alba."
He could feel that her breath had caught in her throat from the other side of the Resonance.
"Dude was a total weirdo. Even though he survived the first defensive battles at the start of the war, he thought it was messed up that only the Eighty-Six did the fighting, so he returned to the front lines on his own. We couldn't say anything to his face, but the whole squad trash-talked him like crazy behind his back. We all hated his guts. I mean, how couldn't we? He called himself a Processor like us, but the captain chose to be here. We never got that choice. And sure, he came here, but whenever he got tired of it, he could just drop everything and go back to living inside the walls. Whenever he acted like he was one of us, it pissed us off so much. We'd place bets on when we thought he'd get tired of his pity game and hightail it back home."
"…"
"But it turns out, we were wrong. The captain never went back home until the very end. He never went back, and then he died. He stayed behind to defend other Processors and got himself killed."
Theo was the one to hear his last words. He was closest to the captain when he told everyone else to retreat, and the captain sent him a radio transmission telling him he could hang up if he wanted, but he had something he wanted him to hear.
"I know you guys hate me. It's natural—of course you would. That's why I never said anything.
"You have every right to hate me. Because I didn't come here to help you, nor did I come here to save you.
"I only just…knew I could never forgive myself if I let you guys fight for us alone. It scared me. I only came to the battlefield for my own sake. So it's only natural you'd never forgive me.
"Please. Never forgive me."
Then the line suddenly filled with noise, and the transmission was cut off. That was when Theo realized the captain chose to send a radio transmission instead of Resonating because he knew what was coming. He'd returned to this battlefield of certain death with a warrior's resolve, willing and prepared to never return.
Theo regretted not talking to him more and still carried that regret with him to this day.
"I'm not saying you're the same as the captain. But so long as you're an Alba sitting on the other side of that wall, we can never be equals, and we will never think of you as one of us."
Having said his piece, Theo stretched his back once. Everyone else knew this story, and he'd told and reflected on it so many times that touching on it didn't hurt him anymore.
"Right, so stupid story time is over… I'm Theoto Rikka, by the way. You can call me Theo or Rikka or your cute little piggy boy or whatever stupid name you want."
"There's nothing stupid about your name… I'm sorry. For everything I did up until yesterday. Truly."
"Forget about that already, you stick in the mud."
"So that nice person Kaie talked about…was that Captain, correct?"
"It wasn't just him. Everyone here has someone who fought hard in one way or another."
They fought against this fabricated world created by their brethren.
"…"
Raiden was the next to speak.
"I'm the vice captain. The name's Raiden Shuga… I gotta apologize first. When you started Resonating every night, we mocked you and thought you were some patronizing hypocrite, a gullible idiot who didn't realize how much of a pig she really was. So I apologize for that. But on top of that…"
His iron eyes narrowed.
"…just like Theo said, we don't see you as an equal or a comrade. You're a moron who spouts lip service while walking all over us. Nothing will ever change that, and we'll never see you differently. If you're fine with that, we'll kill some time talking to you. Not that I recommend it. You're not fit to be a Handler… You're better off quitting."
"If you're willing to kill your time with me, I'll keep Resonating."
Raiden smirked wryly. His masculine, wolf-like face took on an amicable shade.
"You're one serious idiot, you know that…? Oh, and send that map over already. You were so busy crying your eyes out yesterday, you forgot to send it."
Lena laughed this time.
"You'll have it before you know it."
As Shin half listened to that exchange, his thoughts wandered to the talk he'd had with Lena the day before.
Shourei Nouzen. A name he hadn't heard in a long time and one he'd thought he'd never hear again. He'd been on the verge of forgetting that was even his name. Right, yeah. That's what he was called. Until the very end, Shin had never called him by his name. Not once. Without noticing, Shin fastened the scarf around his neck.
Brother.
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