Capítulo 2: The Ovens
The Spirit Stream Sect was located in the Eastwood Continent on the lower branch of the Heavenspan River, and was divided between the north and south banks. Its history stretched back countless years, and was very famous in the area.
Eight enormous cloud-wreathed mountains towered over the Heavenspan River. Four of those mountains were located on the north bank of the river, whereas three were on the south bank. Shockingly, one mountain, the most majestic of them all, rose up from the middle of the river itself.
The entire top half of that mountain was covered with brilliant white snow, and rose up so high that the peak of the mountain wasn't even visible. The middle of the mountain had been hollowed out, allowing the golden river water to flow right through it, and causing the mountain itself to somewhat resemble a bridge.
Currently, a beam of light was speeding along near the south bank of the Spirit Stream Sect. It was none other than Li Qinghou and Bai Xiaochun. As they raced into the servants' quarters beneath the third peak, it was just possible to hear Bai Xiaochun shouting out in fear.
He was scared to death from all the flying. They had passed over countless mountains, and the entire time, he had felt like he was losing his grip on Li Qinghou's leg.
Eventually, everything turned into a blur. When everything finally became clear again, he realized that they had landed just outside of a building. He stood there, legs trembling, looking around at a scene that was very different from what he was used to back at the village.
Towering up in front of the building was a huge stone, upon which three characters were written in flamboyant calligraphy.
Department of Servant Affairs.
Sitting next to the stone was a pock-faced woman. As soon as she caught sight of Li Qinghou, she rose to her feet and clasped hands in greeting.
"Send this kid to the Ovens," Li Qinghou said. Without another word, and paying no further heed to Bai Xiaochun, he then transformed into a beam of light that shot off into the distance.
When the pock-faced woman heard him mention the Ovens, she stared in shock. She looked Bai Xiaochun over, then handed him a bag which contained a servant's uniform and other items. Face expressionless, led him away from the building toward a nearby path, simultaneously explaining some of the basic sect rules and customs. The path was paved with green limestone, and wound through numerous buildings and courtyards. The fragrant aroma of plants and flowers filled the air, and the entire place seemed like a celestial paradise. As he looked around, Bai Xiaochun's heart began to thump with excitement, and his previous nervousness and anxiety began to fade.
"This place is awesome," he thought. "It's way better than the village!" His eyes shone with anticipation as he followed the woman along. The scenery only continued to get more and more spectacular. He even saw some beautiful women along the way, which instantly caused his heart to surge with delight.
Soon, Bai Xiaochun got even more excited. That was because he caught sight of what appeared to be their destination; at the end of the path was a seven-story building that sparkled like crystal. There were even celestial cranes soaring in the air above it.
"Are we there yet, Elder Sister?" Bai Xiaochun asked excitedly.
"Yes," she replied coolly, her face as expressionless as ever. She pointed to a small path off to the side. "That's where we're going."
Bai Xiaochun looked in the direction she was pointing, heart bursting with anticipation. But then, his entire body went stiff, and he rubbed his eyes. He looked again, a bit more closely, and saw a gravel path lined by haphazardly-constructed thatch-roofed huts that looked like they might disintegrate at any moment. A strange aroma wafted out from the area.
Bai Xiaochun wanted to cry, but no tears would come. Still clinging to a scrap of hope, he asked the pock-faced woman another question.
"Elder Sister, did you point in the wrong direction just now?"
"Nope," she replied coolly, stepping onto the gravel path. When Bai Xiaochun heard her response, all of the beauty of the place seemed to disappear. A bitter expression appeared on his face as he continued to follow her.
Before long, he caught sight of the end of the decrepit path, where he saw several huge black woks running around. After a moment, he realized that the woks were actually attached to the backs of several incredibly fat young men. These young men were so obese that it seemed like squeezing them would cause pure fat to ooze out. One of them was even fatter than the others, so fat that he looked like a mountain of flesh. Bai Xiaochun was even worried that the man might explode from being so
The entire area was filled with hundreds of huge cooking woks, within which fat men were boiling rice.
Sensing that someone had approached, the young men looked up and saw the pock-faced woman. The fattest of the young men, the one who looked like a mountain of flesh, hefted his ladle and hurried over. The ground trembled as he walked, and his fat bounced and jiggled in a way that made Bai Xiaochun stare in shock. Without even thinking about it, he began to feel around for an axe.
"The magpies were singing especially beautiful songs this morning, and now I know why," the mountain of flesh cried out as he ran over. His eyes flickered with a lustful gleam. "It was all because you were coming, big sis. Could it be that you've changed your mind? You finally realized how talented I am, and want to take advantage of this auspicious day to formally become my Daoist partner?"
The pock-faced woman looked at the mountain of flesh with both disgust and anger.
"I'm just here to deliver this kid to the Ovens," she said. "Task accomplished. I'll take my leave now!" Then she hurried off.
Bai Xiaochun gasped. He had taken the time to check out the woman on their way here, and she really looked like a freak. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of taste this fat man had. Apparently even someone with a face like hers got him all hot and bothered.
Before Bai Xiaochun could consider the matter any more, the mountain of flesh was suddenly standing in front of him, panting a bit. The young man was so huge that Bai Xiaochun found himself completely covered by his shadow.
Bai Xiaochun looked up at the enormous young man and his quivering rolls of flesh, and swallowed hard. This was actually his first time ever seeing someone so fat.
The mountain of flesh glanced resentfully at the pock-faced woman, who was making her way back up the gravel path, then looked back at Bai Xiaochun.
"Well well, we have a newcomer. We'd left a spot open for Xu Baocai to join, so this complicates matters."
Bai Xiaochun felt nervous just looking at the young man's enormity, and subconsciously took a few steps back. "Elder Brother, I am your humble... er, humble servant Bai Xiaochun...."
"Bai Xiaochun? Hmm.... White skin, slender and dainty. You look pretty innocent. Excellent, excellent. Your name really fits my taste." The mountain of flesh looked him over, then clapped Bai Xiaochun on the shoulder, which very nearly sent Bai Xiaochun flying off to the side.
"Uh, what's your name, Elder Brother?" Bai Xiaochun took a deep breath and looked up thoughtfully as he prepared to make fun of the young man's name.
The mountain of flesh chuckled and slapped his chest, causing the fat to ripple back and forth. "I'm Big Fatty Zhang. That's Second Fatty Huang, and that's Third Fatty Hei..."
As soon as Bai Xiaochun heard these incredibly stirring names, he abandoned any plans to make fun of them.
"As for you," Big Fatty Zhang continued, "from now on, you'll be Ninth Fatty Bai! Er.... Wait a second, Junior Brother. You're way too skinny! If you go around looking like that, you'll lose face for the Ovens! Well, I guess that doesn't matter for now. Don't worry. After a few years, you'll get fat too. Then we'll call you Ninth Fatty Bai."
When Bai Xiaochun heard the nickname Ninth Fatty Bai, he grimaced.
"Well, since you're already our Ninth Junior Brother, you don't count as an outsider any more. Here in the Ovens, we have a long-standing tradition of carrying woks on our backs. See this wok here on my back?" He slapped the wok and continued boastfully: "It's the king of woks, forged from the highest quality iron and engraved with an earthflame spell formation. When you use this wok to cook up spirit rice, the flavor is far, far better than the rice cooked in any other wok. By the way, you'll have to choose a wok to carry on your back, too. Then you'll look really impressive."
Glancing at Big Fatty Zhang's wok, and realizing that everyone else in the Ovens was similarly adorned, Bai Xiaochun suddenly got an image of himself walking around in such a fashion.
"Elder Brother," he blurted, "is it possible to opt out of the wok-carrying thing...?"
"Are you kidding me? Wok-carrying is an important tradition in the Ovens! Later on when you're out in the sect, people will see the wok on your back and instantly recognize that you're from the Ovens! Once they know that, they won't dare to pick on you. The Ovens has a lot of influence around here, you know!" Big Fatty Zhang winked at Bai Xiaochun. Allowing no further discussion of the matter, he led Bai Xiaochun to one of the thatch-roofed huts, within which were stacks of thousands of woks, most of which were covered in layers of dust. Clearly, no one had been in here for quite some time.
"Go ahead and pick one, Ninth Junior Brother, then come on over and help tend to the rice. If the rice burns, then the Outer Sect disciples will make a scene again." With that Big Fatty Zhang turned and ran back to join the other fat men as they hustled and bustled among the more than one hundred cooking woks.
Sighing in despair, Bai Xiaochun looked over the woks, and was agonizing over which one to pick when he suddenly noticed one particular wok off in the corner, buried under a big pile.
It was a unique wok that, instead of being circular, was shaped like an oval. It almost didn't even look like an oval, but rather, like a turtle shell. There were also some faint markings visible on its surface.
"Eee?" Bai Xiaochun's eyes brightened, and he quickly walked over and squatted down to look at the wok more closely. After dragging it out and examining it further, his eyes began to shine with satisfaction.
He had been fond of turtles ever since he was young, mostly because they represented longevity. Considering that he had come to learn about immortal cultivation for the purposes of living forever, as soon as his saw the turtle-shell wok, he knew that it was an auspicious sign, a good omen.
After he emerged with the wok, Big Fatty Zhang caught sight of him and hurried over, ladle in hand.
"Ninth Junior Brother, why did you pick that one?" he asked sincerely, rubbing his ample belly. "That wok has been in there for years, and nobody has ever used it, mainly because it looks like a turtle shell and people don't want to put it on their backs. Umm... are you sure, Ninth Junior Brother?"
"I'm sure." Bai Xiaochun said resolutely, looking fondly at the wok. "This is the wok for me."
Big Fatty Zhang tried to dissuade him some more, but eventually realized that Bai Xiaochun had made up his mind. Finally, he gave him a strange look and stopped trying. After assigning him one of the Ovens' thatch-roofed huts for housing, he went back to work.
Soon, dusk had fallen. Bai Xiaochun sat in his thatch-roofed hut, examining the turtle-shaped wok. One thing that stuck out to him were the designs traced on the back of the wok, which were so faint that you wouldn't see them unless you looked closely.
He could instantly tell that this was no ordinary wok. Carefully putting it on the stove, he looked around the little hut. It was very simple. In addition to the stove, it had a bed, a desk, and an ordinary copper mirror hanging on the wall. As Bai Xiaochun had his head turned to look around, the seemingly-ordinary wok behind him suddenly emitted a flash of violet light!
As far as Bai Xiaochun was concerned, this had been a day packed with all sorts of momentous events. He had finally arrived in the land of his dreams, a world of immortals. At the moment, he was still in a bit of a daze.
After a bit of time passed, he took a deep breath, and his eyes began to shine with anticipation.
"I'm gonna live forever!" As he sat there, he pulled out the bag which the pock-faced woman had given him.
Inside the bag was a medicinal pill, a wooden sword, some incense, a servant's uniform, and a command medallion. Finally, there was a bamboo scroll with several small characters written on the cover.
"Violet Qi Cauldron Control Art. Qi Condensation Manual."
It was evening, and Big Fatty Zhang and the others in the Ovens were bustling about. Meanwhile, Bai Xiaochun was looking at the bamboo scroll, eyes shining with anticipation. He had come here in order to learn how to live forever, and he held the key to achieving that goal in his hands right now. After taking a deep breath, he opened the scroll.
Moments later, his eyes were gleaming with excitement. The bamboo scroll had three pictures, and accompanying text that described how cultivation was divided into two stages of Qi Condensation and Foundation Establishment. As far as the Violet Qi Cauldron Control Art, it was divided into ten levels, each of which corresponded to the ten levels of Qi Condensation.
By practicing cultivation to a given level, it was possible to exercise control over physical objects. After reaching the third level, you could control half of a small cauldron. At the sixth level, it became half of a large cauldron. At the ninth level, it was a full cauldron. As for the final full circle, you could actually control two full cauldrons.
Unfortunately, this scroll only described up to the third level of the art, with no further information about the subsequent levels. The key to the whole thing was cultivation, using a prescribed set of breathing techniques to develop the Violet Qi Cauldron Control Art.
Bai Xiaochun cleared his mind and began to regulate his breathing. Then he closed his eyes and imitated the posture depicted in the first picture in the bamboo scroll. He was able to hold on for three breaths of time before intense pain filled him. Finally, he let out a shout and gave up. From what he could tell, using this breathing technique actually sucked all the air out of him, making it impossible to actually breathe.
"This is way too hard," he thought. "According to the description under the picture, when you practice this kind of cultivation, you should be able to sense a strand of qi flowing through you. Just now, though, the only thing I felt was intense pain." He was starting to get frustrated. However, for the sake of living forever, he gritted his teeth and tried again. He repeated the process over and over again until it was the middle of the night. During that entire time, he never once sensed any sort of qi in his body.
He had no way of knowing it, but even someone with exceptional latent talent who tried to cultivate the first level of the Violet Qi Cauldron Control Art would need at least a month to succeed, unless they had some outside help. Considering that, it was simply impossible that he could have succeeded after only a few hours.
Body aching painfully, Bai Xiaochun finally stretched, and was about to go wash his face when, all of a sudden, he heard a commotion outside. He stuck his head out of the window and immediately caught sight of a sallow-faced young man standing in the door of the main courtyard of the Ovens. He looked angry.
"I'm Xu Baocai! Whoever it was that took my spot here, get the hell out here right now!"
Capítulo 3: Six Lines of Truth
The motion of Bai Xiaochun sticking his head out of the window instantly attracted the attention of the sallow-faced young man. Enraged, he yelled, "So, you're the guy who took my spot!"
It was too late for Bai Xiaochun to duck his head back into the window. He immediately pasted an innocent expression onto his face and said, "No, it wasn't me!"
"Liar! You're so skinny and short, you're obviously a newbie here!" Xu Baocai clenched his hands into fists and stared furiously at Bai Xiaochun. He was so angry that he looked like he might explode at any moment.
Feeling quite wronged, Bai Xiaochun peeped: "It really had nothing to do with me!"
"I don't care! Three days from now on the southern slope of the sect, you and I are gonna have a fight to the death! If you win, then I'll have no choice other than to suck it up. If you lose, then I get my spot back." Xu Baocai shoved his hand into his robe and pulled out a blood notice, which he threw onto Bai Xiaochun's window sill. The notice was covered with countless versions of the character "DIE," all of them written in blood.
Bai Xiaochun looked down at all the "DIE" characters and couldn't miss the killing intent roiling off of them. His heart went cold. Then he remembered that Xu Baocai had just mentioned a 'fight to the death,' and he gasped.
"Elder Brother, this isn't that big a deal! Why did you have to go and use your own blood to write so many characters? Didn't it... hurt?"
"Not a big deal?!" Xu Baocai roared, gnashing his teeth. "Humph! I've been living frugally for ages. I saved up spirit stones for seven years! Seven years, do you hear me!?!? Only then could I afford to bribe the honor guard into getting me a spot in the Ovens! Then you decide to stick your foot into the door? This enmity will never be reconciled! Three days from now is the day you die!"
"I think I'll pass," Bai Xiaochun said, picking up the blood notice gingerly between his thumb and forefinger, and then tossing it out the window.
"YOU!" raged Xu Baocai. Suddenly, he felt the ground shaking, and he realized that there was a mountain of flesh standing there next to him. It was hard to say how long Big Fatty Zhang had been standing there, but there he was, off to the side, coldly measuring up Xu Baocai.
"Ninth Fatty," he said, addressing Bai Xiaochun, "you're on dish duty with Second Brother." Then he looked back at Xu Baocai. "As for you, stop causing such a ruckus! Get your ass out of here!" He swept his ladle through the air threateningly, causing a gust of wind to spring up.
Xu Baocai's face fell, and he backed up several steps. He wanted to keep arguing, but seeing the impatient look on Big Fatty Zhang's face, he shot a venomous look at Bai Xiaochun, then stalked off.
As Bai Xiaochun thought about it, he realized that considering the vicious look Xu Baocai had given him, he was certain to pop up again at some point. Therefore, the best thing to do in this situation would be to stay put in the Ovens. Most likely, Xu Baocai wouldn't dare to come back there and cause trouble.
Days passed. Bai Xiaochun slowly got used to working in the Ovens during the day, and cultivating the Violet Qi Cauldron Control Art at night. However, progress was slow. Eventually he got to the point where he could endure for four breaths of time, but no more, leaving him very frustrated.
On one particular night in the middle of his cultivation session, he suddenly heard a big commotion among the fat Elder Brothers.
"Close the gate, close the gate! Hurry up, Second Fatty Huang, close that gate!"
"Third Fatty Hei, check and see if anyone is spying on us. Quickly!"
Bai Xiaochun blinked in shock. Having learned from his previous mistake, he avoided the window and peeked through a crack in the door. What he saw was a bunch of fatties bustling around the courtyard so fast they were almost flying.
Moments later, the main gate to the Ovens was closed tightly. Furthermore, for some reason, a light mist had sprung up, making the fatties look even more mysterious than ever.
Bai Xiaochun watched the scene playing out. The fatties were now hustling over to one particular thatched hut. Despite all the mist, Bai Xiaochun could clearly see Big Fatty Zhang's formidable frame, and he seemed to be speaking to the others. The whole scene was very odd, so Bai Xiaochun began to edge away from the door in an attempt to pretend he hadn't seen anything at all.
However, it was at that exact point that Big Fatty Zhang's voice echoed out: "Ninth Fatty, I know you're watching. Get out here!" Although he didn't speak very loud, his voice instantly weighed down on Bai Xiaochun.
Bai Xiaochun blinked a few times, then slowly walked out the door, putting on the innocent expression of a person who wasn't capable of even hurting a fly.
As soon as he neared the group of fatties, Big Fatty Zhang grabbed him and pulled him over to stand among them. Almost immediately, Bai Xiaochun caught a whiff of some unique aroma, something that instantly caused a warm feeling to spread throughout his body.
He looked around at the others, and saw that they all had euphoric expressions on their faces. For some reason, he also felt enlivened. It was then that he noticed that Big Fatty Zhang was holding a magical mushroom in his hand. It was about the size of an infant's hand, and as translucent as crystal; all it took was a single glance, and anyone could tell that it was no ordinary item.
Big Fatty Zhang looked over at Bai Xiaochun, then held out the mushroom and gruffly said, "Come on, Ninth Junior Brother, take a bite."
"Uhh..." replied Bai Xiaochun, eying the magical mushroom. Then he looked around at all the fat Elder Brothers, and hesitated. Big Fatty Zhang instantly got irritated. From the look on his face, if Bai Xiaochun didn't eat the mushroom, the two of them would become enemies.
It wasn't just him. Second Fatty Huang, Third Fatty Hei, and all the others were all glaring at Bai Xiaochun.
Bai Xiaochun swallowed hard. Even in his wildest dreams, he would never have imagined himself in a situation where people would flip out in anger if he didn't take a bite of a priceless magical mushroom, as if it were nothing more than a chicken leg. And yet, that was exactly what was happening right in front of his very eyes.
Bai Xiaochun's heart was thumping as he gritted his teeth and accepted the magical mushroom. Finally, he opened his mouth and took a big bite. The mushroom instantly dissolved in his mouth, causing a wonderful sensation to fill his body, something many times more intense than what he had experienced moments before when merely smelling it. Almost instantly, his face flushed bright red.
"Excellent. Elder Sun demanded that we use this hundred-year-old magical mushroom in a soup. If we all take a bite, then we'll have to sink or swim together!" Big Fatty Zhang looked extremely content as he opened his mouth and took a nibble. Then he tossed the mushroom to the next fatty in line, and soon, all of them were munching on mushroom flesh. Now that they were all chewing together, the group smiled at Bai Xiaochun as if he were now one of them.
Bai Xiaochun chuckled as he realized that all these guys were essentially partners in crime. Furthermore, considering they had gotten so fat this way, it probably wasn't dangerous to join them. It was little wonder Xu Baocai had given him a challenge notice with the word "DIE" written on it so many times....
"Elder Brother," Bai Xiaochun said, "that magical mushroom was scrumptious! I feel like my whole body's on fire!" He licked his lips and looked impatiently at Big Fatty Zhang.
In response, Big Fatty Zhang's eyes began to shine brightly. With a hearty laugh, he flamboyantly pulled out a sealwort flower, which he handed to Bai Xiaochun.
"Now do you see how amazing the Ovens is, Junior Brother? I wasn't lying! Alright, eat up. Eat till you're stuffed!"
Bai Xiaochun's eyes began to shine as he took a big bite. Next, Big Fatty Zhang pulled out some sort of natural precious material, something that looked like a golden jewel, which emanated a fragrant aroma.
Bai Xiaochun needed no prompting from Big Fatty Zhang. He immediately took a bite and swallowed it down. The tangy flavor filled him with a wonderful sensation. After that, Big Fatty Zhang produced an incredibly sweet red spirit fruit.
More items emerged. Magical mushrooms, various medicinal ingredients, spirit fruits and other precious items. Bai Xiaochun partook of them all, as did the other fatties. He ate so much that soon, his head was spinning. He almost felt drunk, his body hot and burning to the point where white steam rose up from the top of his head. He already felt as fat as a ball.
The more he ate, the more kindly Big Fatty Zhang and the others looked at him. In the end, they slapped their stomachs and laughed heartily, and they all truly seemed like partners in crime.
Head swimming, Bai Xiaochun stretched out his arms and legs. His hand landed on Big Fatty Zhang's giant stomach, and his foot landed off to the side. He began to laugh along with the others.
"Other servant departments would kill to get one of their own into the Outer Sect. But we kill to make sure we stay out! Who wants to go there anyway? What's so good about the Outer Sect, huh?" Big Fatty Zhang sounded very proud of this. As he finished speaking, he pulled out a ginseng root. The root itself had countless faintly visible age rings, and was covered with numerous rootlets. Clearly, this ginseng root was very old.
"Ninth Junior Brother, our cultivation bases are all strong enough that we could have become Outer Sect disciples a long time ago. However, we prefer to hide our true level. Look, there are Outer Sect disciples who would kill for the chance to get a single bite of a one-hundred-year-old ginseng root like this. Do we look scared?" Big Fatty Zhang subsequently plucked a rootlet off and popped it into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. Then he handed the ginseng root to Bai Xiaochun.
Bai Xiaochun was so stuffed he almost couldn't see straight. "Elder Brother, I'm full.... I really can't eat another bite--"
Before he could even finish speaking, Big Fatty Zhang plucked off a rootlet and stuffed it into Bai Xiaochun's mouth.
"Ninth Junior Brother, you're far too skinny, so skinny that the girls in the sect won't like you. In our sect, they like guys like us Brothers, stalwart and plump! Come on, eat...." Big Fatty Zhang let out a huge burp. Then he picked up a stack of empty bowls, simultaneously pointing to two scrolls hanging on either side of the nearby thatched hut, upon which was written a couplet. "Look, we have a saying here that goes I'd rather starve to death in the Ovens than struggle up the ladder in the Outer Sect."
Bai Xiaochun looked over at the couplet and said, "Yeah, for sure! We all want to starve to death here! Uh... yeah, starve to death."
Then he slapped his stomach and let out a burp.
Hearing this, Big Fatty Zhang and the others all started laughing. They all were finding Bai Xiaochun to be increasingly charming.
"Today is a great day," Big Fatty Zhang said. "Ninth Junior Brother, I have something important to tell you. We have certain ways of doing things here in the Ovens, and to fit in, you need to memorize a certain mnemonic. Pay attention. Fruits and herbs of a magical nature; Nibble the edges but spare the stem; Slice the meat thin when there's some to butcher; As for the bones leave some flesh on them; Spirit congee? Water it down until it's thin; Fine wine? Half a cup will do you in.
"These six lines were compiled after years of suffering by previous generations. If you go about eating following these principles, then you're guaranteed to be safe. Alright, let's call it a night. Head to sleep everyone, today's midnight snack is over. The Outer Sect disciples are still waiting for their soup." As he spoke, Big Fatty Zhang began to fill the empty bowls with rice gruel.
Bai Xiaochun's head was spinning, and he couldn't stop thinking about the six lines of truth he had just been told. He looked over at Big Fatty Zhang and the others filling up the bowls, let out a burp, then squatted down to examine the bowls themselves. Then, his mouth turned up into a smile.
"Elder Brothers, these bowls are too nice."
Big Fatty Zhang and the others looked back at him with strange expressions.
Looking as charming as ever, he chuckled and said, "At first glance, they don't look very big, but can actually hold a lot of food. Why don't we make them look big, but hold less food? For example, we could make the bottom of the bowls... thicker!"
Big Fatty Zhang stared in shock, as though he had just been struck by lightning. His rolls of fat then began to quiver, and his eyes began to shine brightly. The other fatties began to pant, and their fat also began to tremble.
All of a sudden a loud smacking sound rang out as Big Fatty Zhang slapped his thigh. Then he threw his head back and laughed uproariously.
"Yes, yes, YES! That's an idea worth passing down! Future generations in the Ovens will all benefit from this! Ninth Junior Brother, I never imagined that someone as charming as you would actually be as crafty as this! Hahaha! You were born to be a part of the Ovens!"
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