🪻 જ⁀➴ ㆍ✿ (Pov switch; Jane to Victoria!!!)
After Priscilla left, it really began to dawn on me. Jane—Jane, my crush, Jane, the girl I loved—just asked me what it means to be a homosexual, proceeded to say it wasn't that bad, asked me to ballroom dance with her in the flower field, kissed me on both cheeks, THEN invited me over to her house???? Oh god, what do I even do about this???
I saw Troy at football practice. He was getting water. I ran to him.
"Oh, hey, Tori!!!" he said cheerfully.
"Where's Dante?" I asked.
"Hmmm... he should be in the choir room!" Troy said with a smile. How creepy.
"He takes choir?" I asked.
"Yeah! He's the cat's pajamas at it!"
'Cat's pajamas?' What stupid slang.
"Any time!!! See ya, Tori!" he said cheerfully before he tripped over the football he had set down near his feet. What a dumbass...
I ran to the choir room where Dante was alone. He was reading sheet music. He jumped and screamed when I opened the door.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" I asked.
"Oh, my bad... your face is just that scary scary." He rolled his eyes.
Ugh! What a jackass! What is his problem?
"What do you need, gayass?"
"Well—like, ummm—" Where do I even begin?
He smirked. "What? Did you manage to woo Jane?"
"Be quiet for one second! You talk too much!"
"Shut up!" I yelled back.
After he FINALLY learned how to shut the hell up, I explained to him what happened.
"Oh shit—what'd you do? Recite Bible verses to her and she was suddenly like, 'Oh, Tori!!!'" He said, imitating Jane.
"Stop!" I said, annoyed that he wasn't taking this seriously.
"Okay, okay... here's what you're going to do. Just go to her house and literally do NOT be shy. Like, just put yourself out there. Act like a gentleman... make her feel like a princess. Be what Tom could never be. Ugh... that man's clothing style is so gross... makes me want to cry just thinking about it!"
I thought a bit. Just put myself out there? Act like a "gentleman"? Be what Tom could never? Easy enough, right?
✦•······················•🪻•······················•✦
ㆍ✿ જ⁀➴ 🪻(Pov switch; Victoria to Jane!!!)
Tom got here for dinner with me and my mother and stepfather. The whole time he was complaining to them about how I "haven't been spending time with him." Hmph... then he should spend time with me now that he has the chance instead of complaining. His suit was kind of odd-looking... it didn't look right on him.
"Oh, Tom, I'm so sorry. I don't know how you put up with this girl. Ugh... so much disrespect. Jane Myers, apologize to your boyfriend right now!!!" Mother scolded me.
"I'm sorry, Tom..." I said.
"Yeah, yeah, just try to behave yourself," he said.
✦•······················•🪻•······················•✦
Tom insisted on staying after for dinner and coming to my room. I didn't want him to. He'd get all touchy-feely. His hands were gross... and his lips... and the scent of his cologne! We went to the balcony in my room, and just as I expected, he was very touchy-feely. Isn't this what most girls my age struggle with? Not giving in to lust? So why did I have no problem with it whatsoever? As Tom kissed me, I thought about how gross his lips were... ew! So chapped! And honestly, men's cologne smells so horrible!
You know... if this were Tori kissing me now, her lips wouldn't be chapped, and she would smell amazing... and... it would be amazing! ...THERE! THERE I GO AGAIN! AHHH!
Unconsciously, I pushed Tom off of me.
"What the hell, Jane!?" he yelled, a bit annoyed.
"A-ah... I'm so sorry, but I just realized... uhh..." I looked around for an excuse, and my eyes fell on my clock, "It's already 9 PM! Don't you have football practice in the morning? You should be off now; I wouldn't want you being tired in the morning. Come, come." I grabbed his hand and gently led him out. He looked very annoyed... oops?
Anyways, he's always annoyed about something... so I guess it doesn't really matter!
After he left, my mind instantly went to Tori again! I shouldn't be thinking about her in such ways, but how can I not? I mean, just look at her! She's so handsome yet so beautiful... and her features are so defined and sharp, and she looks so fierce and good in everything she wears. Her eyes are the prettiest shade of blue I've ever seen, and—oh, I can go on and on about how pretty she is!
But not only is she absolutely ravishing, but her personality is ever so interesting and mysterious! I mean, Priscilla's always teasing her for being "boring," but in my opinion, she's not boring at all! She's serious and quiet and sarcastic... but you can tell she's always thinking of something! And I want to know... I want to know all of her thoughts, all of her wishes, all of her dislikes, and all of her likes, and I just want 𝘩𝘦𝘳!
Hold on, hold on, hold on!!! Not like that... just like— I want to be as close and intimate to her as possible! I want us to be not shy with each other. In the sense that there's no emotional gap between us... we can just share everything with each other. We can just be close!
Oh dear... I'm REALLY not helping my case... am I? I'm NOT perverted! I don't like girls! I don't like Tori... maybe. No, wait, I don't! I like Tom! ...or at least I'm supposed to. I'll write...that always helps me figure out my emotions;
A Mystery I Want to Unfold
𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥;
𝘈 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘐 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘱, 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭.
𝘈 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬.
𝘈 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘮𝘢; 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰, 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥.
𝘈 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘺 so 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘠𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘚𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 her, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘫𝘰𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘢𝘭. 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘥, 𝘈 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘱, 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭.
...WHAT DID I JUST WRITE???? I REALLY AM A HOMOSEXUAL, AREN'T I???
Oh...dear Lord...please help me.
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