Capítulo 33: Rest in peace
With the Knight's death, a new phase of the battle began.
The monster was only half Kryptonian, so the ultimatum weapon didn't perform as well, weakening the hybrid by only a third, but depriving it of its long-range attacks. Now the monster had to fight in close combat, in which he was frankly bad, reminding Superman, in fact, a country boy with superpowers. Though with the alien's abilities, martial arts skills were only necessary for a stronger or equal opponent, but those didn't come out of the sky very often, unless, of course, you counted General Zod, who had recently arrived from the Phantom Zone with a bunch of associates, Lex Luthor's Doomsday, and a host of other enemies that were bound to appear soon, judging by the comics.
Previously, the monster had been able to hold its own against several heroes only due to its overwhelming power, high speed, and excellent stamina, but now all of that was gone, so Doomsday began to take a beating. Diana was especially diligent in beating him up, literally having to tie up the Knight's aide who was tearing into the fight. Unfortunately for Sailormoon, the princess had been able to assess the girl's physical attributes when she rescued her, so the warrior wasn't going to increase the number of victims, realizing that the blonde was only slightly stronger than the average person.
The battle was epic: the roar of the monster, the clash of sword against solid bone, the explosions of bat grenades and the boom of the bat-gun that Mouse ripped off his bat-wing, the pops of Superman's powerful blows breaking the sound barrier.
In the end, the forces of Good still managed to bring Evil to its knees, cutting its tendons with the sword of a noble and beautiful Amazon, and then Good, in the person of a guy in tight tights, literally burned out the hybrid's eyes, and after them the brain, finally killing the invulnerable monster.
Having disposed of the young creature, who was a couple hours old at most, and finished restoring Justice, the superheroes gathered at the resting place of the fallen of today's battle.
"Mr. J... ~Squeal~ how on earth... - Harley uttered, finally out of character, a second later she collapsed to her knees and cried.
"Mr. J?" Diana questioned, glancing at the Gotham Defender, the name was too distinctive, and the blonde as a partner was suggestive.
"Then take her away, please. - Bruce asked, bowing his head. He still couldn't believe that an old enemy had died like this, while giving them a chance to win a deadly battle. The superhero wasn't going to leave the body here, so it wasn't going to be the most pleasant of procedures
"Let's go. - The Amazon helped the crying girl up and began to lead her away from the battlefield.
***
A little earlier, somewhere in the darkness.
Fucking great, helped the superheroes...
Jay, is this what it took for you to realize that Superman was gonna have mega-enemies out of your league? No, of course you realized that, but you did it anyway. What the fuck?! Yeah, Doomsday may be a fake, but he couldn't be handled by three, THREE Superman! And you brought Harley into it.
Damn, I hope Diana doesn't let her get back into the fight, because a cornered beast only gets more dangerous. I have my doubts that the monster will die immediately from the kryptonite dildo in its throat, although it would be funny. Ah-ha-ha, that would have to be one of the top three ridiculous deaths in the universe, along with Wolverine getting stabbed with his own claws and Thor getting killed by lightning! Although they're not from DC's universe... Ah, whatever.
Well, Harley's taken care of. Ivy might even be glad I'm gone, but the fact that I never got to know Mouse better is a bit of a shame, but I'm not going to bite my elbows.
I was dead and gone... Huh, we all have to die sometime, and even powerful deities and demons can't avoid it, if you believe the words of the wise sorceress. Besides, death caught up with me instantly, and I didn't even have time to feel anything, for which I should thank the mighty blow of the fake Doomsday, which is hardly inferior to the blow of a real prehistoric Kryptonian, who was experimented on by mad experiments. Haha, when you think about it that way, I wouldn't notice the difference, even if it's inferior by a factor of several. It's like choosing whether to crush yourself with a twenty-ton slab or a hundred-ton slab, the result is the same.
The weird thing is that I'm not really worried about my death, because this important event is literally a new adventure for me, thanks to the Me add-on, which is silent for some reason...
That's it, the self-abuse session is over for the day, time to focus on the next steps.
Hey, system, where to now? How about Naruto World? It's kind of cool there, you can talk to different talking animals, and I wanted to try some ramen... No, I'd rather have something sweet, then go to Potterian World, where Dumbledore was giving away free goodies. Wait, that's right, we could go to Van Pis! Pirate romance, sea wind in the face, interesting personalities, unlimited development, devil fruit, and the world itself is curious to explore, in addition, you can try a variety of unusual dishes that are not found anywhere else. The presentation of juicy tender exotic meat made me drool. I should be in a new world as soon as possible.
Okay, where's the selection menu?
The system? Ow!
[Monster quest completed: destroy the monster. Reward 150 free points]
Yes! Is this what you've been waiting for? That's amazing! Now I'm off to a good start with that kind of margin.
All right, let's go.
It had been two minutes, which I'd been counting down diligently because I had nothing to do. It had been a good way to relieve the boredom of my last rebirth, putting me in a kind of meditation, but now I couldn't quite bring myself to a contemplative state.
Uh... System?
Hmmm... That's odd...
I looked around at my surroundings. This place didn't look much like Limbo, or the Abyss, either, since the darkness around me was ordinary and didn't evoke subconscious fear.
Stop. I can feel my body! That's why I'm so hungry. I should have taken Harley to a real restaurant instead of a diner for a quick bite.
If I'm not dead, then where did I go?
Hmm... And the clothes are all there.
"Hey, is anyone here?" I shouted into the darkness, hearing my voice perfectly.
It might seem reckless to some to yell into the unknown like that, but what else to do? It's not like we're walking by feel. Huh, why not?!
I stretched out my arm, only to yank it back immediately. There was something soft and fluffy in front of me... Was there a Yeti-like monster standing right in front of me? I don't think so, or else it would have raised its voice or tried to eat me long ago.
"If you're some kind of monster, you'd better chew my head off so I don't have to suffer. - I gingerly extended my palm again, bumping into the fur.
Hmmm... It's something small, like a guinea pig, only with ears...
With a click, everything fell into place: the rabbit, Zatanna, the cylinder! And it was at that moment that a light literally flickered in front of me, and I reached for it.
***
Right after the girls stepped aside a bit.
"Superman, can you give me a hand?" Bruce asked, approaching the cylinder. - We need to get the body out.
"I'm afraid you can't get him that easily. You'd have to do it right off the ground to... You know... It's not an appetizing sight, people are so fragile... - Clark Kent shook his head dejectedly.
"No blood, so it shouldn't have been spilled. - The man in the bat suit pressed one of the pockets on his belt, pulling out a large, thick bag. - A bat-bag for corpses. - He commented on his action.
"Okay, I'll try it now. - Superman activated his x-ray vision and said with surprise. - There's nothing here!
The Kryptonian's exclamation was heard by Harley, who hadn't gotten far enough away, and a ray of hope flickered in her heart.
"What?" Batman immediately bent down and picked up the crumpled cylinder, staring at the empty ground.
"Give it to me. - The blonde practically teleported over to the Dark Knight, taking the cherished hat. - Mr. J..." She put her hand inside the hat, wanting her lover back with all her heart, and the artifact's magic responded, spitting out a dazed Knight with a white rabbit in his hands.
***
Just as I began to rise to assess the disposition, I was deafened by a piercing scream:
"Mr. J!!!
And in a moment I was once again stretched out on the ground, crushed by one extremely happy blonde.
"Mr. J., alive.
Harley was almost suffocating with happiness, kissing and hugging me as if afraid of losing me again.
"Ha-ha-ha, you can't get rid of me that easily. Not only am I as tenacious as a cockroach, but my beloved likes to steal other people's things, but I'm glad I did!" I did not stay in debt, caressing and kissing the girl, putting the animal aside, since it is a construct, it should not be far away.
"Ahem!
I looked away from my assistant for a moment and faced Bats's stern gaze. Heh, he must be jealous.
Looking around a little better I noticed two other heroes looking at us: a man in tights and a beautiful Amazon.
"Are we disturbing you?" Bruce asked, since I wasn't about to interrupt my class, and neither was the girl lying on top of me.
"The ugly men can leave, but the girl in the armored sailor fuku can stay and participate. - I replied, smiling my thirty-two.
"Stop joking, the military will be here soon and you need to get out of here as soon as possible if you don't want to fall into the clutches of the special services. - Mouse waved his slightly torn cloak and strode off toward the surviving warehouses.
"Harley, I'm sorry, but we have to get out of here before the military gets here. - I said, standing up with the girl, who clung to me like a koala, not wanting to let go.
Helicopters showed up in the distance, so soon the place would really be out of breath with the amount of people.
"Freeze!" Everyone in the room looked back at my shout. - Who's going to clean up after themselves?" I said, looming over the sunny boy, who was clearly about to fly away. If it hadn't been for the girl clinging to me, it would have been more formidable, but what is not, is not.
"I don't know what you mean.
Is he serious?!
"Hadn't you had enough of this dickhead, and you kindly decided to keep the hybrid for research so you could get a dozen of these beauties in a couple months?" My finger pointed at my defeated opponent, who didn't seem to have died the quickest death, judging by the damage.
The man shifted his gaze to Doomsday and then to the sky.
"Hold on.
"What else?" Superman was clearly not particularly pleased that I had spoken to him at all.
"Could you give us a ride to Fifth Avenue, where there are more hangars nearby, please? And by the way," I lowered my voice to a barely perceptible whisper, which shouldn't be an obstacle to the Kryptonian's enhanced hearing, "Bats is without his bird, so he wouldn't mind if you gave him a ride to Gotham, too, but he's too proud and independent to ask for anything.
"Good. - Clark nodded briefly and disappeared a moment later, taking the monster's carcass with him.
"So the Joker and Harley Quinn?" Asked Princess Diana when all the bystanders had dispersed. - You don't look like the people I've seen on the news.
"Magic. - I replied, stuffing the rabbit back into the cylinder that was just sitting in it, in no hurry to head for the spatial vault. Fine, he could be dragged around as it was, and now I had to find the cane. - And by the way, Jay Arkham and Harleen Quinzel.
"Ah yes, new life - new names. - The Amazon smiled. - I have to say, your images are still crazy enough to bring up your past, and yes your 'ultimatum weapon against the Kryptonians' was rather peculiar...
Damn, it was left in Doomsday, and now I've lost my wunderwaffle. Oh, I hope Superman doesn't decide to disembowel the monster, but just tosses the corpse out into the sun somewhere, or else it'll be affected by the green crystal in space... We won't be able to hide from the military in time!
"The important thing is that it worked. - I gave it a meaningful thumbs-up. - All right, Hurley, wrap it up. We have to find my cane before our transportation gets back. We'll catch up at home.
"Okay, Mr. J. I think I saw her over there. - The girl pointed somewhere to the right, unhooking herself from me, but not from my hand.
A little to the left of that spot was my missing item... Or rather, what was left of it. The handle had been almost completely vaporized by one of the Kryptonian's laser shots, and the main part was a little bent, as if someone had stepped on it. Sad... I didn't have long to use the gift. Fortunately, the main mechanism survived, as well as the sturdy cable, so we take everything with us to make a new gadget at home.
~Boom~
Very close by, clods of earth stirred up from the Man of Steel's landing.
"Are you ready?
"Just a second. - The military helicopters were just around the corner, but what kind of gentleman am I if I can't say a proper goodbye to a beautiful lady.
"Princess," I approached the slightly surprised Amazon who hadn't informed us of her status, "it was nice to meet you.
While the girl was a little confused, I kissed her hand gallantly, tasting the flavor of brick crumbs. I kissed her hand gallantly while the girl was a little confused.
"Hmm, me too. - She removed her palm and sped away.
"Now we can get out of here. - I turned to the man in the tights, picking up the satisfied blonde in my arms.
"Hold on. - After those words, an invisible force swiftly lifted us into the air, and in a couple of seconds we landed softly on the right street. Even with my perception pumped up, I perceived the surrounding space as a blurry blur, so fast everything happened. The flight itself was quite comfortable, and I didn't feel the overload at all, and I had a girl on my hands, but it seems that the mysterious aura that helps a Kryptonian hold a multi-ton airplane by the edge of the wing, preventing it from breaking, works here too. I'd give Kryptonian airlines a nine out of ten, and that's only because of the lack of lunches.
"Thank you. - We thanked Clark.
The alien only nodded, and then disappeared, soaring into the air. Eight points: the staff is not very polite.
Now we have to meet the sorceress. And I have my doubts that she'll be happy to have us back, given the theft and damage to her props, but we have to go in for our things anyway.
What's that saying? You can't die seven deaths, but you can't die one? I've just survived one, so I don't think there's another one waiting for me. Besides, these are ordinary material values, or rather magical values, but thanks to us, people's lives have been saved! Isn't that valuable? So a slightly dented cylinder should be forgiven.
***
~Tuk-tuk-tuk-tuk~
I knock on the familiar trailer door. I wait for the invitation and go inside, ready to leave in case of danger.
"Tell your friend to come in, too. - The sorceress said calmly, noticing that my companion had stayed behind. I instructed her, because running away alone is a little easier. The main thing is to lure Zatanna into the hangar and she'll never catch up with me. It's not like dodging lightning bolts in a small room.
"Eh, Harley, come on in... You're not mad... - I gingerly approached the illusionist, holding a borrowed headdress with a rabbit inside that was suspiciously quiet.
"No I'm not mad... I'm furious!!! Why the hell did you steal my thing and you dare to ruin it!" Lightning began to flash in the girl's eyes.
"I didn't steal. - The blonde came forward. - There were two identical cylinders lying around, so I took the first one. I didn't think it was yours.
Strangely enough, after my companion's words, the enchantress began to calm down.
"Hmmm, you're telling the truth... Sorry for the outburst, I was sure otherwise.
"So we're forgiven?
"Eh, give me that. - My headdress was taken from me, pulling my pet out of it. - The runes burned out..." the illusionist said thoughtfully, groping the ribbon. - No wonder the construct stopped functioning.
Only now I noticed that the rabbit was still lying on the table, showing no signs of life.
"What happened to him?" The blonde asked, approaching the animal.
"Used up all the magical energy because someone placed an oversized object in the cylinder, draining the built-in power source.
"So Fluffy died, allowing Mr. J to survive?
"Uh-huh. - The sorceress answered monosyllabically, looking perplexedly at the hidden ligature of symbols.
"Rest in peace. - Harley said, bowing her head in respect, and I kept up with her, also deciding to honor the furry hero with a moment of silence.
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