Capítulo 68: 68- Love, Uncontrollably

Uk took a deep breath. His pointy finger pulled the string with his inner strength, delicately attend it with care but in sharpness. He aimed the target with his left eyes, and adjust the bow within the grid.

Then, he released the string along with his breath.

"Bulls eyes!" the marking man waved a white flag. Uk felt a sense of relief. He took a glance at the man next to him, who was ready with his bow. He stood straight, eyes on the target.

With one small but precise flick, the arrow flew across the field and hit the target.

"Bulls eyes!" again, the marking man waved the white flag.

"Nice move, jeoha mama..." Uk praises Mushim.

"You're not bad either, Gisa..."

"Just call me Uk. It's been a long time since my service in army ends," said Uk. He stood next to Mushim and joined him cleaning their equipment before the new round starts.

"I heard you used to be a spy for the kingdom. Infiltrate the North like a shadow..."

Uk laughed when he listened to the story. He shook his head in disbelief.

"It was a long time ago. I was still a young man that time. I want to experience some adventure, so I agreed when they deployed me to the Special Operation Unit," Uk replied while a smile still intact on his face. "Never I have ever seen such a lot of dead bodies..."

"You regret it? I mean, your decision..."

Uk sighed. Softly, he nodded. But, later, a smile visible on his face.

"Some part of it, yes. Especially, when you realized your decision is a cause of people dying. Like, I killed them, but not with my bare hands..." Uk looked down, bitterly smile while looking at his bow. "But, come to think of it, we learned from our mistakes, it's time to move on, thought it's hard."

"Death is inevitable during war. It breaks my heart just to think of it. New generation is lucky to have what they have now. Little that they know, there were from blood and tears of so many people," Mushim said. A wise words from a future king. However, his voice seemed like holding a lot of regrets beneath those wise words.

"You do sound upset, jeoha mama..."

"Is it obvious?" Mushim chuckled, tried to mask his true emotion. He pulled the string of his bow after the position is fixed and let the arrow flew, breaking the present arrow on the target board snapped into two.

"Is it about daegum agissi?" Uk asked Mushim, non-chalantly. He knew he wasn't suppose to act nosy, as that was a family matter, royal family some more. But, he couldn't dismissed the frustrate tone that was coming from Mushim.

"I've been thinking a lot about my family lately. Since Hwa Young passed away, it kinda breaking apart..." Mushim threw his sight way far from the target board in front of them.

"I know it isn't my position to tell you the right and wrong, jeoha. I think, you should know it better," replied Uk.

"Did gongju jaga asked you to consult me?" Mushim let out a faint laugh. Uk smiled, moving his head left and right in in one sweep.

"To be honest, I feel bad for Hwa Sa. I think, she was caging by the conjugal arrangements. She has a lot in her plate, but she had to let all of that go, just because of my family," said Mushim. "And, her path is rocky. She has to handle everything, while I am frequently away for my mission."

Uk looked down, passing his bow to the assistant as he saw Mushim slowly leaving his post after having enough of the archery training thay evening. They walk towards a gazebo, where they took their seat at the area which has been set up by the Silver House's maids.

"Why don't you reject her at the first place?" asked Uk. Mushim looked at him, eyes full on meaning. His words stuck inside his throat, slowly trying to escape but there were so much for him to even talk about it.

"Jeoha mama, I don't want to label you as a cruel man. I know nothing about you, so I have no rights to judge you. But, if you have some compassion, you should do something about the situation," Uk shared his opinion earnestly. Mushim nodded softly, as he packed his things and ready to leave when a slender in blue army uniform stopped him midway.

"Jeoha mama..." a small scroll was handed by the man to Mushim. He took it in bitter, undid the rope and read the content. Without a word, he walked out from the range, followed by Uk from behind.

***

Mushim sat on the chair, pulling the string of his leather armour. He then squatted down and pull up the zip of his boots. He took a glance of his reflection in the mirror before leaving his room with his bag.

"Seja jeoha, everything is set," one of the henchman approached Mushim. He was just stood in front of the entrance of the Silver House. After a brief thought, he turned his head and looked at the man.

"I want to visit the Blue House first," said Mushim. He walked away, setting his feet towards the Blue House, with heart filled with thoughts.

As he arrived, from far, he saw Hwa Sa. The lady, wearing a blue hanbok, was chasing Mi Rae around the small garden in front of the Blue House. The little one was laughing while running with her small feet, so fast that Hwa Sa was gasping for air while chasing her.

But the smile never faded from the lady.

Mushim watched them from afar with heart churned a bit. His feeling was mixed; at one side, he felt happy that someone could take care of his almost abandoned princess. Yet, at the same time, his heart shattered to see Hwa Sa.

***

"Manora jaga..." Mushim couldn't stop his tears from rolling on his cheek. Hwa Young stared at her husband with her weak eyes.

"Jeoha..."

"Don't talk. You're too weak..."

"I have to. Or else, when will I have this chance?" Hwa Young grabbed Mushim's hand tight. She looked at the crown prince, feeling bitter inside.

"Jeoha, I love no one else in this world more than you..." Mushim started sobbing once he heard that from Hwa Young.

"I know..."

"But, it doesn't mean you have to love me the same like I do..."

"How can I not? I love you as much as you love me..."

"Too loyal, huh? You know if you lie, you'll be struck by the lightning ?" Hwa Young still could cracked a joke at this state, making Mushim frustrated but at the same time, he chuckled.

"How can you make such a joke while you're at this stage, manora jaga?"

"You better laugh. You know I hate it when you didn't laugh at my joke!" Hwa Young glared at Mushim. The man laughed, although tears streaming so fast from his eyes. "Besides, I'm not dead yet. I can still annoy you as much as I want!"

Mushim smile and nodded in tiny. He wiped his tears so he could take a better look at Hwa Young.

"You'll be just fine, nan sarang. You'll live for another thousands years..."

"You do know that won't be happening in any time, sobangnim," Hwa Young halted Mushim from talking. "Besides, living for a thousand years seems too good to be true, right?"

Both of them chuckled as Mushim slowly amused by Hwa Young's expression. She winced her eyes left and right, thinking about the nonsense longevity span that was out of question in this world.

As they look at each other, slowly, the laughter simmer down. Only silence filled the air, as Mushim sofly stroke Hwa Young on her hair. From her spot, she could see her twin sister, Hwa Sa, is taking care of her newborn princess. Her chest felt tighten.

"Jeoha, can you promise me something?" Hwa Young switched her sight to the Crown Prince. Mushim nodded as he attentively stared at his beloved wife.

"Aside of our children, can you protect Hwa Sa as well? Before this, we only have each other, alone at this estranged country. But now, she'll be alone," said Hwa Young. Tears rolling from her eyes as she batted them a few times. "It's hard for me, and I know it's hard for her as well. Hwa Sa loves me more than herself. She might not saying it or arguing about her feelings, but I know deep down inside, she is suffering. Thus, please protect her at all cost. I love her so much, sobangnim..."

Mushim looked down. He understood the whole situation, well enough that he knew the path wasn't that easy for both of them. Let alone Hwa Sa, who might be stuck in the North alone soon. He softly grabbed Hwa Young's hand and kiss her palm with full in love.

"I promise. Hwa Sa will be protected at all cost..."

***

Seemed like words could only be words. Talk the talk instead of walk the walk. After Hwa Young died, Mushim had a trouble coping with the lost, that he blindly decided to go away several times for missions instead of protecting his family.

How he ashamed of himself, for knowing the harsh treatment that Hwa Sa received from his family, especially after she decided to agree with the conjugal tie with Mushim. Hwa Young used to have such a treatment from Wangbi Yu, just how Hwa Sa endured right now. But, that time, Mushim was always by her side and made things easier for Hwa Young.

But, Hwa Sa was left alone, facing the hatred by herself. In a midst of taking care of Mu and Mi Rae, she had to learn how to be a sejabin while taking up all the blows from Wangbi Yu.

All by herself.

Mushim didn't realized when his feet slowly approached Hwa Sa. Unknowingly, he was already stood up before her, making the princess bowed down deep by his presence.

"Jeoha, what makes you come for a visit? You have a mission, but why are you here?" asked Hwa Sa. Mushim stared at her, eyes fixed at her. The court maid, who understood the assignment, quickly grabbed Mi Rae from Hwa Sa and went inside, leaving both of them alone at the garden.

Out of blue, Mushim pulled Hwa Sa into his embrace and hugged her tight while put his head on her shoulder. He shut his eyes tight, trying to spur all the words; the regrets, the sadness and how sorry he was. But, everything stuck behind him, causing the whole body shaking a bit.

"Jeoha...." Hwa Sa frowned. She stood there like a statue, letting the hug happened but too stunned to react.

"Hwa Sa... Sejabin..."

Her eyes grow larger. That's the first time Mushim ever called her that. Before this, it's always Hwa Sa and nothing else.

"Jeoha..."

"I... I am sorry..."

Tears slowly fill in Hwa Sa's eyes as she silently sobbed in Mushim's embrace. She mustered all her courage to hold it, but Mushim's words were filled with remorse.

"I promise, I will protect you and love you even more. But, for now, please endure this for Mi Rae..." Mushim shut his eyes tight before he continued. "... And for me..."

Gradually, Hwa Sa put her hands on Mushim's back, stroke him in silence. She nodded, as she couldn't talked even for a word. Her sobbing slowly took over her body and she ended up crying for real. His words felt like a vouch for her to stay strong. For the sake of Mirae.

And, for the love that she had for Mushim.

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