Capítulo 54: ch 52
Edward's POV:
I couldn't get the grin out of my face and quite frankly I didn't want to anyway. I still couldn't believe that my Anna had sung for me and of the top of that in front of an audience.
The second I heard the voices of my family members in my head I knew that something was up but they were all blocking me I had no means of finding out and then Anna stepped on the stage.
I knew how much overcoming it must have cost her to do that since she was always insecure about her ability to sing or more like inability when she was still human. And I do have to admit as a human she had no talent at all for music.
I tried to teach her the piano back then in Forks. She was able to memories the movements her fingers had to make but she never felt the music as she had to play it. Dancing on the other hand…..let's just say her gravitating hips were dangerous for both of our virtues.
I shook my head because I was entering dangerous territory and I still had a few hours ahead of myself at the school dance before I could rip that pretty dress of her delicious body.
I quickly crossed the distance to my car and had it in front of the restaurant entrance in no time. Already when I was nearing the spot where I had left Anna to wait for me so her dress wouldn't get dirty I could sense that something was wrong.
I parked the car right in front of the entrance and got out of it rushing to her side as fast as I could without raising any suspicion.
She just stood there still like a statue and pale as if she already was a Vampire.
"Love what's wrong?" I asked her while I grabbed her face in my hands but she appeared not to have seen or heard me.
"Anna!" I breathed while my chest tightened and let go of her face.
My hand slid down to her shoulders and I shook her lightly.
"Anna…..Love what?" My voice was slightly raised as her blank expression started to scare me.
"Please say something." I was begging her to respond to me while panic and fear were crawling up my spine.
Something must have happened! Something bad!
Just as I was about to fish my cell out of my suit jacket and call Carlisle her eyes that usually were full of life but now dull and empty snapped up and she looked at me.
"I…..I…." she stammered out before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Anna took a step towards the restaurant entrance before she stopped in her tracks and looked completely lost and confused. She seemed to be deep in thoughts as her heart was racing in her chest.
I didn't understand her behaviour at all. When I left her just under a minute ago everything had been fine but suddenly nothing was alright anymore.
"Was it a vision? Did you see something that scared you?" I was fishing for an answer.
All of the sudden she broke free from my hold and bolted into the restaurant. I followed her hot on her heels as my cell went off. I didn't need to be a psychic to know who it was.
"What happened?" I barked quietly into the phone watching as Anna's head was whipping frantically in all directions.
"I have no idea. I only saw that she was searching for something in the restaurant, completely freaked." Alice answered.
"Will she find it?" I asked maybe that would help to find the answer to Anna's strange behaviour.
"No," Alice answered as I heard Anna ask the maitre d'our if there was another exit out of the restaurant which he answered positively.
Anna looked disappointed and dejected to hear that. Her heart beat slowed down and she sat down in a chair at the bar looking utterly crushed.
"I've got to hang up." I said quickly before I hung up on Alice without giving her the chance to say anything more.
I went over to my fiancé and took the seat next to her. She didn't notice my arrival at all. Anna continued to look at her hands in her lap and was lost in thoughts.
I took her intertwined hands into mine and slowly she raised her head to look at me. She looked like a little lose kitten in that moment. A condition I had never seen her in before.
"Love please tell me what happened." I murmured in the softest voice I could muster.
Instead of answering me Anna got up from the chair and threw her arms around my neck hugging herself closely to me as she buried her face in my neck.
I locked my arms around her and stroked claming patterns on her back. She didn't cry or sob but only lay still in my embrace.
I was unbelievably confused by her behaviour and I had no idea how I could help her or how to react since I had no idea what was wrong, no idea about what happened in those few seconds I was away.
Suddenly Anna pulled away and sucked a deep breath in. I was expecting her to tell me what got her this upset but when did she ever do what I expected her to?
"We should go to the dance. Alice will kill us when we are late." She said and turned around ready to step away.
"Wait!" I grabbed her arm to stop her, pulling her back closely to me.
She turned around and looked puzzled at me.
"What just happened?"
Her gaze fell from my face onto the ground before she looked back up.
"Later," she closed her eyes and shook her head, "not now. We have to go the dance."
"Anna I don't care about the dance. I want to know what happened." I told her as I pulled her closer to me.
She was crushed against my chest, my arms firmly around her perfect body when her eyes left my face again and she looked everywhere but at me. I put my fingers under her chin to get her to look at me again.
When she did I was met with a heartbreaking expression on her beautiful face while her generous hazel pools begged me to do what she asked of me.
"Please, can we just go to the dance? Please." She pleaded in a small voice.
It broke my silent heart.
I looked at her now so tiny seeming frame with that vulnerable expression on her face for a long moment before I nodded. Anna gave me a tiny smile that didn't reach her lifeless eyes before I led her out of the building and helped her into the car.
After a few miles I couldn't take the silence anymore, watching her as she gazed blankly into the window seeing nothing, downing in her own thoughts.
"Please, love you are driving me out of my mind here." I begged and even I could hear the desperation in my voice.
She took a deep breath and sighed before she turned her head around to face me.
"I'm sorry but I just need to think. No one is getting hurt and no, I did not have a vision or anything at least I think," she narrowed her eyes before she seemed to dismiss whatever thought entered her mind with a shake of her head.
"I will tell you when I'm ready to do so." Anna placed her hand on my thigh and smiled weakly at me.
I was not pleased with this but nodded. If time was what she needed I would give it to her even though it was driving me nuts not to know what was causing her sorrow and not being able to fix it for her.
Anna turned her head back around to face the window again, going back to her previous state of mind being lost in thoughts wile looking lost and confused.
It took a lot of strength to keep driving the car without pulverising the steering wheel. Something was clearly causing her distress and me not being able to help, not even knowing what was the cause for the worry in her beautiful face was very hard to stomach for me.
When we arrived at the school and I parked the car in the lot I sat still in my seat. Anna didn't move a muscle either. I wasn't quite sure if she noticed that the car wasn't moving anymore.
Edward is everything alright? Do you need my help? Carlisle worried thoughts reached me.
I looked out of window and shook my head.
If you need anything just call.
I nodded before I turned my head around and faced my mate who still didn't seem to have noticed that the car wasn't moving anymore.
"Anna, we have arrived." I told her carefully not wanting to scare her or straddle her.
"I know." She sighed, turned to look at me and gave me the same fake smile that she was giving me the entire time since she dropped into that strange mood.
"Won't you tell me wh….."
"Please I need…please." She begged me again and I was powerless to deny her even though it was killing me not to know.
I sucked it up and nodded. Anna needed me.
I got out of the car and went to her side to open the door for her and to help her out of the car. She took my hand and snuggled herself close to me.
"We could just go home. You don't need to be here if you are not up for it." I murmured into her hair.
My Anna shook her head.
"No, I want to. I need to get my mind off things for a minute." Anna said and was quiet for a moment before she looked up at me. Her eyes were boring into my own.
"I know I'm being unfair and that you are dying to know what is going on but I need a little time to figure things out for myself. I just got faced with a possibility that I haven't really entertained. It caught me off guard. I know I'm talking in riddles. I just need a little time to get a few things straight. O.K.?" He eyes were begging for understanding.
"OK just know I'm here. Anytime." I kissed her forehead.
"I know," she breathed while my lips still lingered on her soft skin.
We went into the hall were the spring dance was held. The room was tastefully decorated but I had no mind to pay attention to the things around me. My mind was filled with worry for my mate.
"Wow that dress is beautiful!" Tia's voice broke me out of my thoughts.
"Thank you. Yours is amazing as well and those shoes are hot." My love commented with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
I felt how much she was forcing herself to appear normal as if everything was alright. What I didn't understand was why she was doing this. We didn't need to be here and endure this school event.
Anna put on her forced smile and listened as Tia gushed about how her sister had to book a model for this event to accompany her because she wanted a guy who in the end decided to go with the captain of the cheerleaders.
"Edward, man, you alright?" Fin asked me as a classmate out of Tia's English class stopped by and was spreading gossip about who wore which brand and other meaningless teenager drama.
"Yes," I nodded and didn't offer more information. Fin took the hint and didn't ask more.
"Where is Aya?" I heard my Anna wonder.
"She is still angry because of Seth and refused to put on an act, as she usually does for such events." Fin answered.
"She doesn't even know Seth why does she dislike him so much?" Anna asked with a frown on her face.
Seth was like a little brother to her and that was why she was protective of him. I had to admit with his big grin and his carefree and sunny personality he could steal the hearts of others in no time.
Anna had a brother in her world but from what I gathered he was quite a jerk to her. He was lucky that time and space separated us or else I don't think I would have been able to tolerate if I had to witness with my own eyes and ears how he treated my Anna.
She told me that Seth was like she had always wished her little brother would be. Nice, caring and rational instead a big time jerk that thought women were there to serve him and obey him as he wishes.
I could only shake my head in disgust.
"Aya never wanted to fall in love. She always loved it to be on her own and live for herself. Seth's existence is questioning everything she had ever believed in and Aya is not dealing well with changes, she never had."
"That means she does feel the pull?"
"I would say yes but the poor guy has a long, long way ahead of him." Fin said and in his thoughts I could read that he pitied Seth.
"At least he has forever." Anna smiled.
I knew what she was doing. She was trying to distract herself from whatever happened at the restaurant. I wasn't quite sure if that was a good or a bad thing.
The director of the school asked for attention and was about to hold a long speech about the achievements of the students and would try to get the rich parents to write him checks for the school.
During the entire boring speech I held Anna firmly against me while she snuggled herself as close to me as she could. My embrace seemed to comfort her, what gave a little peace of mind.
At some point she rested her cheek against my chest and I heard her taking in my scent with every breath she took. I buried my face in her hair and also inhaled her unique scent while my lips would place feather light kisses on the top of her head.
My arms held her firmly against the length of me as I was slightly rocking the both of us from one side to the other.
"…..and now please enjoy the dance." Finally he was finished and stepped down from the stage so that the band could get ready to play their first song.
"Shall I get you something to drink?" I asked Anna who nodded.
I looked over Anna's head and saw Esme and Carlisle looking worried between my mate and me.
Is she alright? Esme asked concerned. I quickly shook my head and left her in the care of our parents.
"Alice have you seen anything at all?" I asked the pixie as she approached me on my way to the bar.
"Like I told you, it started when she freaked out and ran into the restaurant." She assured me helplessly.
"And any other vision? You two usually have the same." I hissed too quickly and low for human ears to catch.
"Nothing out of the ordinary." Alice shook her head as we waited in the queue.
"Maybe it was someone she saw." Jasper offered.
"Someone from Forks?"
"No, then she would have told you immediately." Alice shot that idea down.
"Whatever happened she will tell you once she came to terms with it. If it was something dangerous she would have told us by now. Let's just wait." Jasper said and sent a wave of calm my way.
"Thanks," I gave him a half-hearted smile.
"Here is your drink my love." I handed her the cup with the coke while Emmett was telling her a joke to cheer her up.
"Oh come on that was funny," he pouted and Anna made an effort to smile at him.
"I know! I have a really good one," he wiggled his eyebrows.
"EMMETT," Esme hissed assuming correct which nature this joke would be.
"Oh come on…" he whined.
"Not in public," Esme chided and Anna giggled a little.
Her spirit seemed to lift a little the more time passed. I was even able to coax her out on the dance floor where she pressed herself against me and buried her face in my neck.
We were just exiting the dance floor after having held on to each other for five songs when Anna suddenly stopped. I felt her body freeze and suddenly her heart was hammer faster and louder in her chest.
When I gazed down at her I saw that she had paled and had an expression on her beautiful face as if she just saw a ghost. I followed her line of view and saw a little group of people standing next to one another, chatting excitingly with each other.
I couldn't understand what would cause her to react like this to those people.
"Do you see the woman there in the simple and elegant black dress who is standing surrounded by the Kovac siblings?" Anna asked me while her voice was shaking. Her body was slightly trembling next to mine.
It worried me.
Anna still wasn't looking at me because her eyes were fixed on that woman in the black dress. I concentrated on their minds and soon enough had figured out who that woman was.
"Yes, their mother," I answered puzzled.
Anna gasped and closed her eyes taking a deep breath before she opened her eyes again and finally turned her head to look at me while a little sad smile played on her lips.
"Let's take a walk."
"Anna," I was aiming to sound stern but failed completely.
"I will tell you but not here."
I nodded and led her outside. We strolled a little along the gardens of the school where no one was at the moment but the both of us.
"What is it about that woman?" I asked her after awhile.
"She is my," her voice became unsure, "..mother….." Anna answered not looking at me but at the stars that were brilliantly shining above us.
I didn't think I heard right.
Anna's POV:
"She is my….mother." The words tumbled out of my mouth while I was watching the stars as if they had an answer to all the questions that were racing through my head.
I felt Edward stop abruptly but I didn't pay much attention to that. It still couldn't believe what happened tonight. When I saw her near the entrance of the restaurant I thought I would faint and never wake up again.
My body and my mind disconnected in that moment and I experienced everything from outside. I saw myself while I starred, completely still and not breathing, at the woman who looked exactly like my mother.
For one moment I thought that I was back, back in my world where I left my mom and everyone else behind to get back into the Twilight dimension.
When she noticed me starring at her she looked up and her warm brown eyes met mine. Time stopped. All I wanted was to run to her and throw my arms around her neck and tell her how much I loved her despite the fact that I chose Edward over her.
I felt the tears burn in my eyes that were unable to fall down my cheeks. My lungs were screaming for air that I denied them. I felt like a fragile statue made out of glass that was about to be shattered by a sledge hammer.
The last moments I had with my mother replayed in my mind. Our shopping trip, discussing if we had everything, worrying about traffic jams on our way home…
I remembered that my mom was happy to get back home but also sad to have to leave her parents and brother behind. We did live quite far apart from the rest of the family.
My mom the beautiful, stubborn, intelligent, witty, warm, lovely woman who had a temper that had to be reckoned with. People loved her but they also feared her. My mom the strong woman who insisted to have found my brother and me in a vegetable patch and could barely understand a sex joke, much to the amusement of the rest of our family.
I never discovered if she was just playing stupid or if she really didn't get them.
For a moment, for a tiny moment I thought that maybe my mother had also somehow been transported into this dimension just like I was. The little girl inside me, the daughter who missed her mom was praying that this was the case.
Somewhere deep inside of me I knew it was irrational that this couldn't possibly be the case but it didn't stop hope from flaming up and the little girl in me from screaming at the top of her lung for her mother.
So I allowed myself a little moment of weakness. I allowed myself to hope. To think the impossible had happened ignoring all the consequences that would follow with it.
But soon that hope was crushed, eliminated as I gazed into her wide brown pools in which I could detect my reflection.
My heart twisted painfully in my chest seeing her standing there only a few feet away from me while it was impossible for me to make a move towards her because of the fact that my body was frozen in shock.
But what hurt more, what made me nauseas and broke the little girls heart was the look in her eyes as they gazed back at me for a brief moment. She looked at me as if I was a stranger. As if she didn't know who I was.
It hurt that she didn't recognise me.
It hurt more then I ever thought it could.
Soon she turned around dismissively and went back inside the restaurant. I couldn't do anything. I still was a prisoner to my own body. My mind screamed to follow her, to call out to her but I couldn't.
I just didn't know how to react or what to do. I didn't know how it had been even possible that I saw her and as soon as she was out of my sight I was questioning my own sanity.
I wasn't sure if had really seen her or if she was just a product of my imagination. What if I was going crazy? Or someone was playing a cruel joke on me.
My mind was spinning as I noticed that Edward was slightly shaking me and I did saw the panicked look on his face but I was not in the right frame of mind to care about that. I didn't even know when he had come back.
Everything was a mess and all of the sudden I took off running into the restaurant, searching for her. I had no idea what I would do if I run into her or what I would say or if she even be there. It was just all of the sudden I had to do something.
But I couldn't find her and when I was told that there was also another exit I was just kind of numb, not knowing what to think or believe. I knew that Edward worried about me but for the life of me I wasn't able to appease him in my condition though my heart desperately cried out to do so.
On our way to the dance my mind was making a mile a minute trying to come up with a possible explanation for what happened and I did come to a conclusion but therefore I had to know if I had really seen my mother or a woman who looked like her or if it all had just been my mind playing tricks on me.
I tried to appear as normal as possible on the dance, trying to give my overactive mind a little break what worked a little until I saw her again in the arms of a man I knew from a photograph.
The moment Edward confirmed that he saw her too I at least knew I wasn't crazy and that that woman who looked like my mother was indeed real.
Edward's POV:
Her words made me stop dead in my tracks.
"What?" I exclaimed utterly baffled.
Anna sighed and turned her broken gaze on me before she looked at the bench we were standing in front of and went to sit down. Without really registering it I followed her movements.
"She is my mom but then again she is not… only by blood, I think." She stammered out.
"Wait! I don't understand! What are you saying?" Anna had me completely confused until a thought struck me.
"Are you saying your mother followed you here?"
Anna shook her head and laughed bitterly.
"No, she didn't."
"But,"
"Edward it is pretty easy actually. I can't believe I never thought of it before." She frowned and looked irritated with herself.
"Anna, I don't understand a thing here."
She sighed heavily and looked directly into my eyes. Her sad, dull, hazel pools were piercing into my soul.
"I am in a different world as the one I was born in. At first I thought that I somehow landed in the book but since I came to Forks a month before the books even started that couldn't be the case."
"Yes, we already stated that." I nodded patiently.
"So I had to be in an alternative reality that existed parallel to the one I came from." She gazed intensely at me to make sure that I was following her.
"Anna we had all of that already."
"Yes, we did but there is also a thing we skipped altogether."
"And that would be."
Anna smiled warmly at me.
"In my reality Robert Pattinson was a British actor who became famous because of a Vampire movie. Now it was a different movie here but still he exists and he is a famous actor, right?"
To be honest that she had to mention that guy irritated me a little. For some reason I couldn't stand him at all.
"Why do you have to bring him up?" I asked rather harshly before I could stop myself.
"I'm sorry. I…"
"Don't worry about it Edward. He is only an example." Anna assured me, placing her warm, little hand on mine. I immediately relaxed at the touch of her skin against my own.
"An example for what?"
"To show you how similar our worlds actually are. Clinton, Bush, Obama in the same period of time we had the same presidents of the U.S.A. The World Trade Center…... Or a simpler example: Most of my favourite TV shows from my world exist here too. And mostly even with the same actors playing exact the same characters they had in my reality."
Slowly I was getting were she was going with this.
"So you mean…"
"Yes, my mom exists here too. Not like me having somehow landed here but she was born here."
"But then where is your this world version?" As the question felt my mouth realisation set in and the heartless "what ifs" if my Anna existed twice began.
"I don't exist here because I was never born." She answered in an emotionless voice.
"But when your mother does…"
"Her husband here is not my father." She cut me off.
My mind was spinning with the information she was giving me. No wonder she didn't want to talk about what happened.
"Her husband the lawyer, I saw a few pictures of him in the other world. My mom showed them to me when she was telling me about her past." She began in a tiny voice looking absent-minded.
"They met when my mom was on summer vacation I think it was in Croatia but I'm not sure. Anyway he fell head over heels in love with her. Mom also liked him very much but her aunts that were with her cause my grandpa would have never let her go alone on vacation told her to stay clear of such a good looking guys like him." She shook her head.
"According to them the fact that he was a lawyer and came from a rich lawyer family was all the more reason to stay away from him because other women wouldn't leave him alone." I could only think how thankful I was that Anna obviously didn't follow the advice her mom's aunts had to offer.
"Mom went out with him and he wanted her to stay with him but mom didn't want to be away from her parents and there was war in his home country. Still he could never forget her and even on her wedding day he called her and begged not to marry my dad."
"But your mother was in love with your father that's.."
"Not exactly," she interrupted me.
I raised an eyebrow at her in question.
"I don't know if my parents really ever loved one another but I do know that my mom wanted to divorce my father soon after their wedding that was before she found out that she was pregnant with me. I was pretty much the only reason why they stayed together." It was unnerving that she used a tone to tell me this as if she was talking about yesterday's weather.
"How do you know…."
"Mom told me once. We had a pretty honest relationship." Anna sighed wistfully.
I had no idea what to say to this. I always thought that she had a perfect family life I knew that her parents weren't together anymore but I had never imagined…
"She looks happy here. That also explains my interest in the Kovac siblings they are my half siblings." She laughed without humour.
"Anna is the mane of my mom's grandma, Teresa is her third mane and Adam is my grandpa's second mane. Seems like even in this world she is the one who has the pants on in the relationship." Anna placed her elbows on her thighs and propped her head on her hands.
I locked my arm around her and pulled her into my body. I was at loss for words at this point. This situation was so surreal that no matter how hard I tried to find words of comfort there weren't any.
Anna thought she would never see her mother again after she chose me over her biological family and now here was her mother's replicate. A woman who looked exactly like her mother and most likely shared the same DNA but never gave birth to my mate.
Distantly I could hear the concerned thoughts of our family who witnessed our conversation. They as well were speechless about this discovery.
Oh poor child. Esme quietly sobbed in her mind while she was snuggled up against Carlisle.
"Edward." Anna's small voice called for my attention.
"Yes," I looked down at her and offered her a careful smile.
She looked so little and fragile in this moment. Anna never really showed her vulnerable side and or her weaknesses. In many aspects she was like me resolving everything in her own head before talking about it or not at all.
"Can we go home?"
"Of course." I answered and helped her to get up.
I held her hand on the entire way home never letting go. We didn't talk as we drove back to our house. Every now and then I would kiss her hand to show her silently that I was there for her.
Once she turned her head to face me instead of looking absent-minded out of the car window into the darkness she gave a small grateful smile and stroked her thumb over my skin.
No words were necessary between us. I could see it in her eyes, the strength she gathered by just being close to me. It stirred pride and contentment inside my chest to life to know that she leaned on me.
When we arrived at home I helped her to peel herself out of her dress, she washed the make-up off her face, took a painkiller against her headache, grabbed my hand and we both crawled into bed.
It took her only a few minutes before she was fast asleep. I placed a kiss on her forehead before I crawled out of bed and went downstairs where the rest of our family was sitting in the living room.
"How is she?" Esme asked me concerned as she came to pull me into a hug.
"Thoughtful, sad and lost."
"And how are you?" She looked at me with worried eyes.
I offered her a little smile to appease her.
"That explains her strange fascination with the Kovac Siblings." Jasper noted from somewhere behind me.
"Do you think on some level her subconscious knew who they were?" Emmett wondered.
"Maybe, maybe it was just a coincidence." I shrugged, sat down on the couch and ran my hands roughly over my face.
"You are angry." Jasper raised an eyebrow at me.
I just shook my head and didn't look at him.
"Son what are you angry about?" Carlisle asked me carefully as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Why does she have to go through all of this? She gave up her family, her world, everything she new to be with me. Wasn't that enough? James, Dylan, Sebastian and Lear." I growled their names out with venom in my voice.
"Why can't she just have her peace?" I asked through grit teeth.
None said anything.
"Shall I call Jenks and order him to make some investigations about the Kovac's. Just in case Anna would like to know." Jasper offered after a while of silence.
"That might be a good idea. I know her. She will ask at some point. You should check her father as well." I said while my hand drove through my hair and I gave him all the information's I had on her father.
"Oh dear," Esme murmured as she sat down on the other side of me. Carlisle still had his hand on my shoulder silently showing me his support and concern.
I looked up at my father figure and smiled gratefully before I turned around to the woman who had been my mother for nearly a centaury and I gave her a tight hug before I went back upstairs to Anna's and mine room and joined her in our bed.
It was a little after ten o'clock when my mate started to stir in my arms on the next morning. The sun was shining into her eyes and the sinning of the birds outside our house didn't let her sleep longer as it seemed.
Though she fought against consciousness, Anna turned away from the rays of sun and buried her face in my chest, holding on to me as tight as she could.
I ran my fingers through her soft, shiny locks and let her be. I didn't want to force her into awareness if she wasn't ready yet but soon I heard her sigh and felt her fingers run down my back while my muscles contracted under her touch.
"Good morning my love," I greeted her as my lips lingered on her forehead.
"Morning, handsome," she gave a little half-hearted smile before she snuggled herself against as I tenderly engulfed her in my arms.
"Do you want breakfast?" I asked while I played with her warm brown locks as her head was tugged under my chin.
"Only a bottle of substitute blood. I'm not really hungry." She mumbled while her hot breath fanned out on my chest causing a delicious sensation to run down my spine.
My body trembled slightly at the tickling phenomenal her breath against my skin engendered deep inside of me. Her frame was tightly pressed against my form and she snuggled deeper into me, hiding herself in my arms.
A content smile appeared on my face knowing that she trusted me to be able to protect her. This small, little action meant more to me then I was able to put into words.
But as happy as her trust in me made me feel it couldn't erase the pain I felt because of what she was going through. I felt helpless knowing that there was nothing I could do to help besides holding her and being there for her.
My lips pressed a kiss on the top of her head while I held her gently and as tightly as I could in my embrace trying to shield her from the world and give her the time she needed.
I started to softly hum a melody to her and felt her body relax against me before she sighed.
"I hate it."
"You hate what love?"
"To feel this depressed and moody and down and emo….." she sighed frustrated.
"But it is natural how you feel, Anna, given the circumstances."
"Yeah, I know. It's just weird you know." Anna said, pushed herself away from me and sat up.
She stretched her body, run her hands through her hair to tame it the best she could and reached over to the nightstand to fish two bottles of substitute blood out of it.
"Here," she handed one of the bottles to me.
"Thanks," I took it and we drank in silence. I was not going to push her. Anna had her own pace, either one went along with it or she shut completely off if she was pushed.
"It…It's just weird…..I don't know how to feel," Anna began while she looked out of the glass wall and the expression she wore on her beautiful face told me that she was trying hard to put her feelings into words.
"I mean except the weird mood I'm in right now," she rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"I was happy….when I saw her. I was happy and I wanted to run to her and to hug her but when I realized that she isn't my mom I started to feel guilty."
"Why would you feel guilty?" I asked confused.
Anna turned her head around to face me and a look of pain overcastted her face.
"Because I left my mom, I decided against her and while I do not regret my decision one second it hurts to know that I caused my mom and the rest of my family pain. And now I'm here happy about," the words got stuck in her throat and she shook her head frustrated with herself, "I don't know."
"Love,"
"No, she….that woman there at school was not my mother. She was not the one who carried me nine months under her heart. She was not the one who raised me and was there for me." Anna ran her hands over her face and into her hair.
I didn't move from my position on our bed. Seeing her like this hurt me to my very core and all I wanted to do was to pull her into my arms and to assure her that everything was going to be fine but I knew that I had to give her the time and space to get it all out. So I waited patiently.
"It feels like I'm betraying my mom when I think of her as my mother. The first thing I wanted to do when I saw her on the dance again and knew that she was real was to get to know her. Those thoughts made feel so ashamed." Anna admitted, looking utterly lost.
When she looked at me with that anguish swimming in her hazel pools I couldn't hold back any longer. I crawled over to her and drew her into my embrace.
"Why would you feel ashamed love? It's only natural to miss your mom." I stroked her hair.
"Yeah, but I can't do that to her, to replace her like this. My mom is still in the world where I died and no one can take over her place, not even her this reality version. It just wouldn't be right." My mate mumbled before she covered her face with her hands and let out an angry sound.
"That's all just so messed up." She exclaimed frustrated.
"I know love I wish there was something I could do to help you." I told her while I was rocking us both back and forth.
"Run with me." Anna said while she looked up at me.
"What?"
"Let's go for a run," she said with determination, pulled away from me and dragged me off our bed.
We got dressed into some casual wear before we jumped down from our balcony, Anna had no problems landing on her feet as elegant and effortless as a cat, and we ran into the forest.
Anna was nowhere as fast as a Vampire but she could easily keep up with a cheetah and she could run at her top speed for about half an hour without getting tired or exhausted. I was slightly behind her watching her body move, twists and dodge through the thick green around us. Her footfall had become lighter the further into the transition she was.
I loved to run with her, to share this freedom with my mate and I loved it that now she enjoyed running as much as I did. When she was still human she tried to dodge running as much as she could.
We were moving deeper into the forest to the foot of the mountains and I was getting an idea where she was going. I was thankful that she asked me to come with her that she didn't shut me out.
Once again I found myself wishing I knew what to do, what to say to her. I wished I knew of a way to make everything better but unfortunately there was nothing I could do besides being there and hoping that this was enough.
Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks in front of an enormous old tree. It kind of shocked me how similar her reaction time was to mine. If she didn't pay attention to what she did and her body took over, her movements were smoother and more liquid as when she thought about them beforehand.
Anna turned her head to face me and bit her bottom lip.
"I would like to go up there," she pointed at the top of the tree, "but if I ruin my nails again Alice is going to kill me." Anna smiled sheepishly at me.
"Of course whatever you want." I told her as I folded my hands around her face and placed a light kiss on her plump lips.
Anna could climb up a tree, well a little bit as I gathered from Emmett's mind. I swear sometimes she could be just as bad as our brothers, climbing trees, motor bikes, bungee jumping, on that one I put my foot down there was no way in hell she was doing that as long as she was still mortal.
I crouched down and she climbed up my back. When her arms and legs held on to my body as tight as they could I stood up.
"Ready to go up." I asked just as I shot up the tree as fast as I could, hearing Anna screaming and giggling in joy.
Arriving at the top I put her down on a thick branch. She smiled at me before she sat down and gazed at the impressive sight in front of us. I took my seat next to her wrapping my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into me.
The lightly grey, blue heaven touched the dark grey mountains that had their peaks covered with snow at the horizon. The valley was filled with a rich green and a pale bluish, sparkling river was cutting it's way through the wildness.
"Jasper asked Jenks to investigate a little about the Kovac's. Just in case you have questions." I told her in a soft voice.
I knew my girl sooner or later she would want to know. Her curiosity always got the better of her.
"Good." She sighed and then turned her gaze on me.
"I'm going to be fine." She stated, leaned into me and then looked back at the green in front of us.
I didn't comment her statement. I just kissed her temple and snuggled her further into me while we sat high above the ground.
Status de energia semanal
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