Capítulo 13: Chapter 13
Toji opened another bottle and took another drink. He didn't feel even the slightest hint of intoxication.
By now, it didn't matter anymore.
Nothing was important.
Not money, women, others, not even himself.
...And probably, not even his children.
"Take care of Zoro and Megumi for me."
How could you say that to me?
Knowing what kind of person I've been.
Not unsure of what I might become.
If you were worried about Megumi, it would have been better to tell that child directly. That child is particularly good at keeping promises.
Even without such a promise, that child would have taken care of Megumi anyway.
Soon, a crate was emptied. Passersby glanced at Toji with weary faces. Toji's expression was grim as he looked at the randomly inserted empty bottles in the crate.
With the two of them, Megumi would be fine.
Stubborn, occasionally a bit foolish, and with a strong-willed streak, but that child would always cherish Megumi.
He had left money with Shiu Kong too. About 100 million yen. Despite being a true money-grubber, Shiu Kong wasn't foolish enough not to know that swallowing that money would mean losing his head.
'Megumi, unlike that child, is a sorcerer...'
It should be fine. That child won't mind. It's not like that's the only family like that.
When Megumi grows up, Megumi will cherish that child too. That child, despite pretending otherwise, is kind, so if raised by that child, Megumi will likely be kind too.
Then, they'll be alright.
'Really?'
A voice echoed from deep within.
'Will everything really be okay?'
Toji gritted his teeth.
"...Shut up."
He had provided a home to return to, a nanny to take care of them, and enough money for the foreseeable future. What more was he supposed to do? He himself had grown up without any of that and still became an adult. Why wouldn't they be okay with all those advantages?
As Toji struggled with these thoughts, the voice whispered softly.
'That's not what the child would have wanted.'
The last face he saw on the day he buried her remains flashed in his mind. The look of incomprehension as Toji pushed him into the taxi. The small face, distorted with sorrow and bewilderment, yet clearly questioning.
Why aren't you coming with us?
Toji let out a short, dry laugh. What the child wanted was...
"Gone now."
The man who cherished that child died with Chie that day.
What remained was a powerless monkey and a sorcerer killer who had taken countless lives without remorse.
...Staying by their side would only taint them with his sins.
Especially for that child who wasn't even a sorcerer. Toji had seen enough of how ordinary people entangled in the unfortunate fate of the sorcery world met their downfall.
'Lies.'
A mocking voice sounded.
'You know better.'
Ordinary? That child?
'That child isn't ordinary.'
The voice was assertive.
You know. You've always known.
...Ever since that child was in her womb.
Toji clenched his fist tightly. His nails dug into his flesh, drawing blood.
On November 11th, exactly four years ago from today, when he heard that the child had been safely born.
The first thing that came to Zenin Toji's mind was a single question.
'How?'
When she was pregnant, although she didn't show it, Toji despaired every day.
Because he felt nothing but the heartbeat.
No movement, no sound, no emotion. Apart from the heartbeat, there was no sign of life. The belly grew, the due date approached, but the child was silent. Unable to tell her the truth as she worried about not feeling any fetal movement.
The child seemed dead.
...No, it was questionable if the child had ever been alive.
Unable to lash out at the doctor who cautiously mentioned the possibility of stillbirth, Toji faced that day feeling like livestock being led to slaughter.
Yet, against all expectations, the child was born healthy.
Confusion and astonishment came before joy. How could this be? Until yesterday, there was no sign of life apart from the heartbeat.
And when he saw the child in her arms, Toji was struck with an astonishing realization.
'Different.'
That child was different. He couldn't pinpoint exactly how, but he knew.
The inevitable tension when witnessing something unknown. Curiosity. Questions. Confusion. All these feelings mixed together as Toji hesitantly held the child. So small, so warm.
The moment the child opened his eyes, looking up at him with the same gray eyes as his mother.
Toji felt all those tumultuous emotions wash away like waves on a sandy beach. Tears dropped on the child's cheek as he realized like a bolt of lightning.
Ah, I wished.
I wished for you to live and breathe in this world.
Really.
Contrary to the absence of any movement before birth, the child after birth was very healthy and active.
The child loved Toji and her, and so Toji gradually began to forget the shock and tension he felt at the moment of the child's birth. Or rather, he pushed it to the back of his memory.
He might never have recalled it.
That day, at the supermarket.
...Had he not seen those gray eyes of the child looking back at him.
PENSAMENTOS DOS CRIADORES 
Fumiaki
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