Capítulo 31: Overflowing Emotions, And A Book?

"So, what do you think about our history? Fascinating, isn't it?" Elder Wendigo asked, her serene expression unchanging as if she had merely delivered a mundane history lesson despite the dark and unsettling nature of the tale.

She gently stirred her tea with a silver spoon, the soft clinking sound breaking the night's silence.

Alex shifted uncomfortably in the cushioned chair he was sitting on, the fabric warm from the firelight. "Uh...well, it certainly wasn't what I was expecting. I first heard the story about Flawed from Lydia, and don't get me wrong, she did a great job telling it to me, but it's completely different from what I had thought it would be…"

He glanced into the flames, recalling the version Lydia had shared about their ancestors, the warm light flickering on his thoughtful face.

"Heh heh. Indeed, Lydia's version would be more enjoyable," Elder Wendigo said, continuing to stir her tea. "She does work at the school, after all. It had to be wholesome and positive. I'm sure she even wore her glasses while she told the story."

She took a sip of the tea while the shadows played across her covered face, and she chuckled softly.

"Haha, yes, she did." Alex scratched his cheek, a small smile tugging at his lips as he remembered Lydia's abstract drawings and how her eyes twinkled behind her glasses. Now that he thought about it, she did seem like she was telling a story to children. She probably saw him as someone who needed protection from the harsh truth. And maybe…

Elder Wendigo's eyes sparkled with sudden insight. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're wondering if Lydia married you because she saw you as someone to protect, aren't you?" she said, her voice cutting through Alex's thoughts like a blade. He looked up, startled as if she had plucked the idea straight from his mind.

"Ah…no, I—I wasn't…yeah. Kind of. How did you know?" Alex stammered, his voice barely a whisper as he avoided Elder Wendigo's insightful gaze.

"I could tell from the face you were making," Elder Wendigo responded calmly, her eyes never leaving Alex's. Her voice was soothing, almost hypnotic as if she were a therapist or a mind reader. "I can even tell you're feeling insecure about your union with Lydia."

Feeling suddenly exposed and realising that lying to an Elder was probably a bad idea, Alex decided to come clean. "It honestly still feels weird to me. Why would she suddenly decide to marry me? We didn't have a wedding, and maybe it wasn't as grand of a deal as I thought, but I'm sure it's still a huge decision for her. I'm...not worthy of her."

"It is a great deal indeed. I wasn't too sure about the whole arrangement myself." Gazing straight into Alex's eyes, Elder Wendigo's therapeutic voice began to guide his thoughts and words. "Tell me, Alex. What do you think of yourself? Why do you think you're not worthy?"

Alex looked directly at Elder Wendigo, feeling a wave of vulnerability wash over him. He thought he could let down his guard and reveal his true feelings. "Well, for starters, I'm a suspicious person who stumbled out of her grandfather's dumpsite graveyard place, yet she trusted me and accepted me into her home." He paused, remembering the first meeting with Lydia, the way she had defended him from Jeb, her own grandfather, choosing him over her family.

"She kindly comforted me and cared for me. But I feel like I don't deserve all that kindness. I've done nothing for her. So, why would she? I'm not going to lie; I like her very much and am happy with the union, but…I'm scared on the inside." Tears began to well up in his eyes as he remembered Lydia's hugs and comforting words, the kindness that radiated from her, his first saving grace in the old and new world.

"I used to be avoided back in school. I'm an outcast who sits in a corner of the classroom alone at lunch. After eating, I used to stare at my textbook to pretend I was studying and not alone. I had no one I could truly call friends, and even those remotely close to me betrayed me not too long ago." Alex sobbed as he felt his heart break into pieces, his core flickering visibly through his clothes as he relived the pain of his past.

"Ever since I woke up in that lab, I can't even remember if I had family that cared for me. All those scientists who tortured me never showed any mercy. The only scientist who was ever kind to me died because of me. I'm a living, walking disaster…" The tears flowed freely now, his emotions spiralling out of control as he let out every drop of despair that stained his heart.

Elder Wendigo listened quietly, her expression compassionate yet unreadable. The soft clinking of her spoon against the teacup had long stopped, replaced by the quiet sounds of Alex's sobs and the crackling of the fire.

At this moment, Alex felt utterly exposed, yet strangely lighter, as if sharing his burdens had lifted some of the weight from his heart.

"Madam…" Mira's soft voice broke the stillness. She had appeared without Alex noticing as if she had materialised from the shadows. Her presence seemed hesitant, like she had been standing there for a while. She addressed Elder Wendigo cautiously, "Should I maybe go fetch…that book?"

"Mmm. Yes, Mira, please do." Elder Wendigo replied. Just as Mira turned to leave, Elder Wendigo seemed to realise something. She looked around thoughtfully and added, "Oh, and do fetch him a clean cloth, please."

Suddenly aware of his tear-streaked face, Alex hurriedly wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "A-Ah. I'm sorry, I lost myself for a moment. It's been a lot for me, and I just…"

"I understand, Alex. I do." Elder Wendigo's voice was gentle, her glowing eyes filled with empathy. "I heard a bit of your story from everyone. Especially from Lydia. She knew you had some pent-up emotions left unsaid."

Alex looked up, surprised. "A-Ah. She knew? I thought I hid it well." He had believed he had concealed his inner turmoil, pushing all the leftover emotions deep into his heart to avoid worrying anyone, especially Lydia. He desperately wanted to appear strong in front of her, as many adolescent boys do in front of their crushes. Now, he felt pretty silly for thinking he could fool her.

Elder Wendigo's serene smile deepened. "Lydia does have the gift to sense when someone is lying. She probably guessed the rest with her instincts."

As Mira returned with a clean cloth and a large, ancient book, she handed the cloth to Alex with a sympathetic smile. Alex took it gratefully, dabbing at his face. His hands trembled slightly, but he felt a slight sense of relief washing over him. He glanced at Elder Wendigo, whose calming, grandmotherly presence made him feel safe and understood.

Mira carefully placed the book on a nearby table, the old leather cover creaking slightly. "Here is the book, Madam," she said quietly before stepping back.

Elder Wendigo nodded, "Thank you, Mira." She turned back to Alex, her gaze penetrating yet kind. "Alex, it's important to confront these feelings. To understand them, you must explore them. And take it from me, from what I've seen in you, and you are certainly worthy of Lydia's love."

Alex breathed in and took a long breath, the lump in his throat easing just a little. The warmth of the fire and the comforting words of Elder Wendigo began to mend the cracks in his heart.

"By the way, Alex, while I would love to help you sort out those feelings, I have something here that might interest you more." Elder Wendigo said, her tone shifting to one of seriousness as she handed the ancient book to Alex with great care. "Please, take a look at this."

Alex examined the cover. Its old leather exterior was marked with unintelligible symbols and looked like it had been repaired multiple times. An oddly familiar sticker in the corner caught his eye, though he couldn't quite place where he had seen it before.

"Elder Yan mentioned what you told her yesterday," Elder Wendigo continued, her eyes keenly observing Alex's reactions. "Coupled with some of the terms you used earlier, I have reason to believe that this book might be something you recognise."

Blinking in surprise, Alex looked back at the book with newfound curiosity. As he opened it, the contents immediately struck a chord. This wasn't just any old book—it was a textbook on biological science, the standard book that high school students used nationwide.

His eyes widened in recognition, a flood of memories rushing back. The familiar diagrams and text brought a strange mix of nostalgia and intrigue, making his heart race.

"This book…is a relic. Of the collapsed world that is in the Outer. We know it was from before the GAP began its first experiments…"

Alex stared blankly at Elder Wendigo, a million questions forming in his mind, but most of all, finally, a connection to his mysterious lost past.

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