Capítulo 41: Forest [4]
There was only one opening that I could exploit to attack. A moment when the enemy would be too preoccupied with Leon to bother with me.
.....The chance came and I took it.
I wasn't ashamed of my actions. Reaping the rewards of another's effort. I chose the easiest and least dangerous path.
I was sure Leon wouldn't mind me doing this.
But...
'He's still standing.'
It appeared as though the enemy was still standing.
Was that strike not good enough?
I didn't hesitate to approach him from behind. A burning sensation coursed through my forearm, causing me to pause right behind him.
In that brief instant, I glimpsed a miniature magic circle hovering at the tips of his fingers, directed towards Leon.
"...."
Even now, in such a state, he was...
'Why is he so desperate?'
I pressed my hand against his shoulder, and the world turned dark shortly after.
'Uh...?'
A medium-sized room.
That was how the world appeared to me.
'What is going on?'
My body floated as I looked around. It didn't seem like a vision. I felt in complete control and while I couldn't speak, I could look around and move just fine.
"You're finally awake."
Then, I heard a voice.
A woman sat by the bed where a man rested. There were three other people beside the man. Two boys and a girl. They appeared to be young, in their early teens.
'When did they get here?'
"Who are you? Where am I?"
A familiar face. He was younger, but it was without a doubt him.
Professor Bucklam.
'What is this...'
"Ah..."
"Father."
"Dad."
Information entered my mind at that moment.
A time when an incident occurred and he sustained heavy injuries, forgetting all about his memories. He woke up to find that he was married and had three children. A famed wizard with several groundbreaking theses to his name.
That was who he was and how the world knew him as.
"Who are you people? Why are you looking at me like that? And why..."
He squeezed his heart.
Emotions I hadn't expected flooded my mind. It was a familiar emotion and my heart squeezed briefly.
"....Is my chest like this?"
Familial love.
Even as his memories faded, his emotions hadn't. The unfamiliar people in front of him... He still cared deeply for them.
It was hence why he was able to push through the confusion and live a normal life.
Because he loved them.
"Robert, eat this. Is it to your tastes?"
"Dad, try it. It's your favorite."
"We made it for you."
"Ah, yes..."
Warmth.
It felt warm.
"That was us when we first met. It was a sunny day and you approached me all nervous..."
But that warmth...
How long could it truly last?
"That's the photo we took when Natalie was born."
"That's Jason."
The photos.
They were familiar and yet unfamiliar. It warmed his heart to see but also brought emptiness. The person in the photo... It was him, and yet... he felt unfamiliar.
Was this really him?
"How long do you think it'll take for him to recover his memories?"
"It shouldn't take too long. He suffered severe head trauma."
The doctor casually said while looking through a series of documents.
"It would take at most a year for him to get them back."
"You hear that Robert?"
His wife smiled at him.
Relief was evident in her expression.
"You're going to get your memories back!"
"...Yes."
He smiled back at her.
But his heart didn't.
'....Is the previous me that much better?'
His children thought so.
"Dad, when are you going to get your memories back?"
Everyday.
"I miss you, dad."
They'd ask the same question.
"When can we have our dad back?"
When was he going to come back?
'Am I not good enough?'
Such thoughts ate at his mind every day. Why was it that he had forgotten his memories about them, but not his feelings?
It wouldn't have hurt so much if that was the case...
And it was also because of such feelings that he'd pray to himself every day.
'I love them.'
'They don't love me.'
'It's because l love them that I must go.'
'Let me disappear.'
'Let him come back.'
'For them... You must come back.'
"...."
I stared blankly at the sight in front of me.
'What is this?'
The feelings. Everything that he felt... They were so vivid in my mind. The pain, the love, and everything that went through his mind...
I experienced it all.
Gradually...
It was starting to become unbearable.
He carried on such pain every day.
"Doctor? Are you sure everything is okay? It's been a year, and he still..."
"I'm just as stumped Madam Bucklam."
I was brought back by a certain conversation.
"So when can I expect him to recover?"
"....I'm not sure."
The difficult expression of the doctor and the pained expression on his wife's face.
It ate away at his mind.
'I'm trying.'
'I really am...'
'....but he isn't coming back.'
'Why aren't you coming back!'
It was like this every day.
The more time passed the more it ate away at his soul.
"..."
"..."
"..."
The dinners were silent.
And so was the once lively and vibrant house.
"Sob.. Sob... Sob..."
All except for the occasional sobbing he'd hear as he roamed the otherwise empty mansion.
The warmth...
It was gone. It felt cold. And lonely.
'Come back....'
'I can't do this anymore.'
'How long must I live like this?'
His emotions were like a chain to him.
'It's not my fault I'm different.'
'But I'm still him.'
'Just what was so much better about him than me?'
They glued him down to this suffering.
'Why can't I get rid of your past?'
"...."
The pain carried on.
He aged, and so did his family.
The same was true for the sense of estrangement.
"Goodbye."
"..."
He was merely a man living in someone else's body.
He could see it in their eyes and the eyes of everyone else. Be it at work, or at home. All he received were looks of pity and estrangement.
It was lonely.
His life was.
Tak—
The only comfort he had was checkers.
Tak—
Nobody played with him, but...
Tak—
That was fine. At least nobody judged him.
Because...
That was the only thing he had left.
.
.
.
"....."
I looked around me. It was the same park at the Academy. Students walked around and a nice breeze wafted through.
In the distance, a man played checkers by himself.
He was alone but satisfied.
"How may I help you?"
He turned his head to address me. His eyes were warm, and so was his smile.
"...Do you have a question about something? I do have some free time."
He placed the piece down.
"It's not like I have much else to do anyway."
"..."
I shook my head and sat down.
"Oh?"
"Teach me how to play."
"....."
The Professor looked at me. He suddenly seemed delighted.
"You want to play? Do you know how to play?"
"I don't."
"Hahaha."
Even his laugh was warm.
"Come, I'll teach you."
He started to teach me.
"The pieces can only move diagonally."
"Like this?"
"Yeah."
He continued to explain.
"This is how you take pieces and how you..."
He seemed rather passionate.
I listened quietly and followed his instructions.
Seemed pretty easy...
"I think I got it. We can start."
"Good. Good."
Tak, Tak, Tak—
"You've lost."
"...."
I looked at the board and frowned.
I didn't even last a few moves.
What sort of...
"Again."
"Let's do that."
Tak, Tak, Tak—
Again, I lost.
But...
"Again."
I didn't give up.
Tak, Tak, Tak—
"This... Are you cheating?"
"Hoho, I'm just better."
"That's bullshit. Let's go again. I'll beat you this time."
"Language."
Tak, Tak, Tak—
The matches continued. Five, ten, twenty, fifty...
I'd lose each time.
The Professor laughed with each victory. On the other hand, I got angrier.
"You have to be cheating!"
Bang!
I slammed my hand against the table.
I had long forgotten about my decorum.
Right now... I wasn't acting. I was being me. The real me. How long had that been?
"Again...!"
It felt liberating.
To be me once again.
In this world, I didn't have to worry about getting caught and what the others thought about me. I could just be me.
Tak, Tak, Tak—
I moved pieces around.
"Nice move."
"....It's only natural."
"But not good enough."
Tak—
"...."
Crafty old bastard.
"Again."
"Hoho."
The losses continued, but strangely, they didn't feel bad. Rather, each time I lost, I enjoyed the game more.
Especially when I saw myself lasting further and further in the game.
I found joy in my progress. Almost like the time when I learned the spell for the first time.
Time flew by like this.
"Ah! So close!"
I continued to play.
"I almost got you there!"
And he continued to beat me.
"Just you wait!"
But...
"There! Ah no!!"
I was getting closer.
"That's i—Fuck! You damn bastard!"
Until...
Tak—
"..."
My piece fell on the board and I looked up.
There was a silence as we both looked at each other.
Professor Bucklam smiled with such rare warmth that made me realize what had happened.
"I won..."
After so many tries, I had finally won.
I had been so immersed in the game that I hadn't realized.
"You did."
The professor nodded. As he did, his figure gradually started to fade. But even in such a situation, he didn't forget to smile as he lowered his head.
"Even a fake like me..."
He seemed happy.
"...Is fun to be with, right?"
He disappeared shortly after.
I sat down on the bench for a long time.
"...."
Quietly staring at the board.
In the end...
All he wanted was to be acknowledged.
∎| Lvl 1. [Fear] EXP + 7%
Not for his past.
But for his present.
∎| Lvl 1. [Joy] EXP + 13%
It was there that I understood.
There was nothing scarier than loneliness.
∎| Lvl 2. [Sadness] EXP + 4%
On this day, Professor Bucklam was arrested.
Julien Dacre Evenus. Leon Rowan Ellert. Kiera Mylne. Anders Lewis Richmond.
These were the names of the four cadets who took down the rogue professor.
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