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19.48% Mine To Protect / Chapter 15: CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Capítulo 15: CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Numb. Numb. Numb.

 

Beads of sweat trickle out from each pore of my skin, leaving my clothes dampened. I could hear the thumpings of my heart, as though it would explode from intense beatings.

 

My body is visibly shaky, as I support my hand with the other.

 

Over and over again, I go through the letter, reading it carefully to be sure I'm not misinterpreting any of it. My eyes are clouded by tears threatening to roll down, and the alphabet of the letter oddly begins to separate and spin in the air.

 

"Argh!" I scream, not caring if it will disrupt Hendrix's sleep. Matter of fact, I need an explanation from him... from anyone. There has to be a sort of explanation for this, right?

 

My breathing is labored.

 

And then, again and again, I go over it, pretty lost in denial. It just can't be.

 

"No, no." I start sobbing, the realization that it's real hitting me in bits. "No, no, no, no..."

 

The letter is now dampened from my tears and sweat, the wet area is about to break. I let it fall from my hand and to the floor.

 

"Argh!" I scream yet again, this time louder. I send things within my reach spinning in the air, as they land haphazardly, a few crashing into irreconcilable pieces.

 

I hear footsteps approach, ones I suspect are for Hendrix. In no time, it grows closer, and closer, before it appears right next to me.

 

For a while, he doesn't speak, as he takes in the amount of damage I've done to his late papa's room. I guess he seldom visits this place, as he would reverence his late papa and give him the privacy he required.

 

Quite groomed. But right now, all that won't save him from my wrath. He's in no way innocent, for if his life was traded for the truth, he's as much as guilty of the crime as the perpetrators... perhaps the crime itself.

 

The silence grows, and I don't bother to speak, the only sound that's audible, to me at least, is my heartbeat.

 

"Natalie," He heaves a sigh. "What's going on here? Why this mess?" He speaks out for the first time. His voice is laced with annoyance even though he does a fine job concealing it.

 

I scoff.

 

Like my feelings don't count? Here I am, on my knees with a bleeding heart, and he just stands there worrying about some goddamn room? Like I'm one to throw tantrums? Unbelievable.

 

"To begin with, what are you doing here?" He asks when he doesn't get any response from me. "This place is out of boundaries for anyone, strangers, and myself inclusive. He never liked me coming into his space, and I intend to keep it so."

 

I scoff.

 

These weren't the questions I was expecting, not in the least. What's going on with you, Natalie? Stuff like that would do for a start. Not... Fuck!

 

"Natalie..."

 

"Screw you!" I yell, venting on him.

 

"What?!" He's perplexed. "What am I supposed to do with that? I asked a damn question."

 

"Alright, stop!" The rise and fall of my chest with every breath is evident. "You're driving me nuts with these dumb questions."

 

"Dumb?" He scoffs. "You go into someone else's room, ransack it and you sit there to defend your act? And to think that he passed on, not quite long and you couldn't give him this little respect like you've been waiting for this day all your life..." He sighs.

 

"Don't piss me off more than I already am." I send him a trigger warning.

 

"Or what?!" His voice is high-pitched. "Rather you're driving me crazy. What the fuck are you doing here? You think this is my room where you just walk in and out at your will?"

 

Slowly, I get off my knees, and on my feet, facing him squarely. His words irritate me, and I'm on the verge of ripping him apart, hilarious how he isn't helping.

 

"Indeed, you were waiting for this day, to have the liberty to go through all he's done in search of sky knows what? Have some dignity!"

 

Pained, I swing my arms at will, kissing my palm on his cheek and lips, shutting him up the hard way.

 

"Natalie," He nurses his cheek. "You slapped me?"

 

"How dare you?" My voice is a low growl.

 

'Natalie, please be calm, there has to be an explanation for this.'

 

"Shut the fuck up!" I yell out, even though it's for my wolf. I won't indulge it, not today.

 

"You stand here and defend that horrible monster of a man? You suck!"

 

"Monster? Man?" His voice is laced with unbelief, at my words and anger.

 

"I get it that you loved him and missed him and respected him, I get that you're hurting, but never you spew gibberish before me. I'm still your lady!" I warn.

 

'Oh, Natalie, he knows nothing about...'

 

'For the last time, don't interfere.' I growl.

 

"I feel like digging that monster up and ripping him in shreds!"

 

"What?!" He scoffs. "What's with you? Why the sudden change?"

 

"I thought you'd never ask." I mock, before bending down in search of the letter.

 

"No one can change overnight, maybe you had an ulterior motive these while. Maybe I'm not your mate after all, for all I care this may be a cheap plot..."

 

"And daily, I detest the moon goddess for bringing you my way! A whole lot of baggage on my frail shoulders." I vehemently search for the letter.

 

Oh, thank goddess. I spot it was blown to the extreme.

 

"Now I know better and..."

 

"Shut the hell up and read." I slap the letter to his chest, stopping him from blubbering further. The letter lands on the floor when he refuses to take it immediately.

 

He looks at me keenly, unsure of the first step to take, but then he bends down to pick it up and reads through it. After a while, he looks up at me, and then the letter. His hands are shaky, a bit noticeable, and his breathing pattern altered.

 

I guess he has gotten the message and knows the reason behind my sudden change, bitterness, and all whatnot.

 

"Where did you find this?" His voice is low.

 

"Does that matter?"

 

He keeps mute, guilty as should be.

 

"My parents' justice was fucking traded for yours!" I scream, holding back an outburst. "Like yours was more important to theirs, his alpha and Luna! People that made sacrifices daily for y'all!"

 

I sigh.

 

"Natalie..."

 

"Don't." I lift up my hand to lay emphasis. "Starting off today, it's Lady Natalie to you." I inform. "And to think that my papa allowed that monster to keep you all these years, and yet he betrayed him this cheaply?"

 

I scoff.

 

"I... I..." He stutters.

 

"Exactly!" I slam his chest with my fist. "I will get to the bottom of this, and be assured that if I as little as suspect your hands in this treason, you'll pay with your life..."

 

He gasps.

 

'Natalie, please be calm...'

 

"... And I mean every word I said." I ignore my wolf's plea.

 

Hendrix stands still, in shock from the revelation and the threat, only that it's not some mere threat.

 

"Lady Natalie..." He finds his words for the first time.

 

"Save it." I toss him aside and walk furiously to the door. "Right now, I will ensure that monster doesn't find peace even in his afterlife."

 

"Where are you going?" He starts after me. "What are you doing?"

 

I don't respond, as I storm out and towards the grave.

 

"Natalie, please!" He runs towards me, hoping to stop me from any drastic move.

 

I shit, my claws elongated, my irises are now crimson red, and fur crawl all over my body.

 

Heeding to my lupine instinct, I go on my knees and start digging the grave, not minding if it would take forever.

 

Hendrix finally gets to me and shoots for my arm. I swing my arm, sending him jolting a few steps backward, and continue digging as though I wasn't interrupted.

 

"Natalie, no... Please."

 

"Don't take another step closer." I growl, my crimson eyes all over his features.

 

He stops momentarily.

 

"Please..." He sobs, now advancing towards me.

 

"Don't make me repeat myself." I pause. "I hate to repeat myself." I continue digging.

 

He stops again.

 

I continue digging, and for a while, I lost track of him, but I care less. Unexpectedly, he grips me from behind, trying to pull me backward and to himself.

 

A prisoner to reflex, I throw my claws in his direction, as they peel off his skin having scratched his chest.

 

"Ouch!" He cries.

 

'Natalie, stop, please.' My wolf cries.

 

Enraged, I launch at him, slapping him with my fist and sending him spinning to the far end like a lightweight.

 

When he lands with a heavy thud, he lies motionless, bleeding profusely from the injuries I inflicted on his chest.

 

Satisfied that he wouldn't disturb me for the next seconds, I return to the grave and start digging, ready to rip the monster into shreds... somehow expecting him to come at me again, but he doesn't.

 

I stop to face him and find him still lying there, motionless. Not one movement.

 

"Hendrix... Hendrix?"

 

He doesn't move still.

 

More than ever, my heart sinks, as I bring my claws to my face, looking at the damage I caused my lover. In my claws, the mud is now mixed with his flesh and blood.

 

Crap! It truly is happening!


Capítulo 16: CHAPTER SIXTEEN

For what seems like ten minutes, I space out.

 

Lying still like a statue, I look at the body of Hendrix from afar, still in the same state as I left him.

 

I feel nauseous, as bile... whatever the heck it is, well up in my throat, forcing me to gag. I breathe in through my mouth, trying to stabilize myself.

 

'Oh no, Natalie. What have you done? Please save him.' My wolf cries.

 

I try to block out her voice, knowing the much damage it's causing me.

 

Slowly, I get off the grave, my knees wobbly. Struggling with each step, I walk to where he lies, a few feet away from him. My eyes scan all over his body for the rise and fall of his chest... just anything encouraging, to keep my soul at ease... but there's none.

 

"Hendrix..." I whisper and swallow saliva that's like a hard nut. "Hendrix... If this is a stunt, please stop." My voice is shaky. "I know you're trying to scare me, and I'm glad to announce that it's working magic. Now, please get up."

 

He remains mute.

 

"Look, I've stopped digging. ." My breath is shaky. "You don't have to be pissed, I'm not anymore..." I start sobbing. "Hendrix..."

 

I crumble on my knees, my legs too weak to hold my weight anymore. I stretch my shaky hands to touch him, but I pause, and then retract, scared to find out the truth.

 

"Drix... Honey." Tears flow freely down my cheeks, soaking my dress. "We don't have to fight anymore, as you can see I've stopped digging, I will respect your late papa's body... privacy, you name it." I suck in cold air. "That's what you want right?"

 

He remains mute and motionless. I look at his stiff frame, still unable to touch him.

 

"Please, say something, anything at all." I plead.

 

Like he cares less about my emotions and fear, he doesn't move. His fine scent of lavender and spice grows faint, as though it's vanishing with every passing minute.

 

Realization begins to set in, one that's too heavy a burden to bear.

 

"No..." I murmur, clutching my chest.

 

I look from the disturbed grave to his body, and back to the grave. That, I repeat for a thousand times.

 

 A wave of panic attack hits me, and without warning, I find myself rising up and taking to my heels, away from my reality, from his haunting figure, and from my head.

 

My heart beats furiously as though it would burst, alongside my vessels. Perspiration flushes my suddenly pale skin, and my primal instinct is now in full, as my claws retract, leaving me to face the consequences of my decision... one it helped me with.

 

"Natalie, please..." His voice echoes in my head, and everything seems blurry.

 

I bring myself to a forced halt, breathing heavily and finding solace in my choice to flee.

 

'He's alright, right?' I question my wolf, now seeking her more than ever.

 

She doesn't respond.

 

I get crazier. She can't give me the cold treatment after what Hendrix did. I'm yet to recover from his silence, she can't make it worse.

 

'Please.' I cry. 'His scent was still there, though faint, but still there, right?' I snort. 'If he were truly dead, he wouldn't have had any scent right?'

 

'He's not a wolf, I can't tell.' She replies coldly.

 

I wouldn't say I don't deserve it, she clearly warned me and tried to put a constraint on my outburst, but I let anger eat me deeply. More than anything, I'm glad she's responding to me at least.

 

My heart drops.

 

Starting to drag my feet, I begin walking, unsure if to go towards the pack house or to his aid. But then I choose the pack house, escaping farther from my creepy reality like a plague. It would hurt less to live in denial.

 

'How dare you leave him without help? What if he's just one step closer to surviving? What if your crazy lover comes for him?' My wolf scolds.

 

Petty, but well deserved. Dante is now my crazy lover.

 

Never has she spoken to me with this bitter and angry tone, I guess I also deserve it. Heeding her advice, and not wanting to add any more regret to my plate, I swiftly turn and head to his house, racing like a prey.

 

When I arrive at his compound, he's still in the same spot as I left him. Unable to hold back the emotions, I burst into tears. I have no healing affinity, or resurrection, or idea of the right herbs to help him or anything dire for this moment.

 

Basically, I'm useless to him.

 

Reaching down, I struggle with his weight, as I drag him back inside.

 

Faintly, I hear his heartbeat... Very faint, but there.

 

Elated, I rest him on his bed and wrap a cloth around his chest tightly, arresting the bleeding. I rush out and pour a generous amount of herb from the pot that he was brewing earlier into a cup, unsure what it's for, but it surely can't be poison.

 

Racing back in, I confirm it's cold enough to take in, verified, I open his mouth and empty the cup in it, as it pours on his chest, with him being unable to swallow... dumb, right? I know. But what would you have a confused lady do?

 

Confused about the next step to take, I run out yet again, determined to elude this nightmare forever. I head for the pack house, avoiding gazes and greetings and anything cordial.

 

When I arrive, the servants were sure to get off my radar, seeing how devastated I look. Each step I take is like a burden, as though the weight of my misfortune grows. Slowly, I go towards my private chamber, dragging my feet along.

 

Sasha, one to always try and comfort me just steps aside and watches, unsure of what to do. I must look terrible and beyond redemption.

 

"My lady, should I get you food... How about I run you a bath?"

 

I shoot her a fierce glare and walk past her and into my room.

 

"Argh!" I scream, tossing anything I lay my hands on away, not caring about the damage it incurs from the impact.

 

"My lady..."

 

"Get the fuck off my door, Sasha." I warn, trying so much to put myself in check and avoid regretting twice in a row.

 

Obeying, she leaves.

 

I crumble on my knees and weep profusely.

 

"Damn you." I look at my claws. "Damn you!"

 

Hendrix has always been right, I find it safer to blame anything and anyone but myself. Here I am, blaming a part of me, like I never used it, or like it possessed me.

 

Shit!

 

I elongate my claws, and bring them to my face, before I start scratching the concrete floor of my room aggressively, hurting myself at will.

 

"Argh!" I lament and sob. "What have I done?"

 

My hands hurt, and I see red fluid drop on the floor... my blood. I'm inflicting injury on myself, the same way I did my mate, perhaps it would hurt less.

 

There's a knock on the door, not a soft one.

 

I turn towards it, my eyes now crimson red, and my fur erupting from my skin to the surface. I growl, low and dangerous.

 

"Lady Natalie."

 

"Get your ass off the door, or live with the regrets!" I threaten, only that I'm serious, as though my wolf has possessed me, angry at me for hurting her mate. She would hurt anyone and anything just to get her piece.

 

"Lady Natalie." The voice calls again.

 

I stand up, ready to launch at whoever it is.

 

"Your days are up. What's your decision?" A voice I recognize as Beta Xavier sounds.

 

I freeze.

 

But, it's barely two days... or did I lose count?

 

"If you have none, we will gladly take the human boy. So, which is it?" He pauses. "Oops, pardon me, you still have roughly about an hour. I will be back." He mocks.


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