4.07
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Escreva uma avaliaçãoHasta el momento es una excelente historia 👌🏻 con una velocidad de desarrollo agradable ni muy rápido ni muy lento, con varios detalles que no se mencionan en el manga y que se agradece bastante, el mc es simpático y un maníaco del entrenamiento jajaja y se siente bien su desarrollo como shinobi; De mi parte espero que aprenda Fūinjutsu ya que tiene mucho potencial y si es posible que sea Fūinjutsu estilo Uzumaki 🙏🏻
I tried to read this book but it became too much for me this book isn’t even about mc himself.. that oc girl is like tail of the mc every single chapter you describe every move of the mc with her, like they went to sleep they trained together bla bla. There is no character development at all. not worth it
1.)A child of Senju and Uchiha that is enough to f- up everything unless he is taken to root or stolen by Orochimaru. He must be taken to root even without chakra and Zetsu would taken him during his birth maybe taken his mom before birth. 2) Senju clan and the name Senju was disbanded. I have no idea how so much OC Senju is popping up. 3) Transforming MC's clone to chakra metal sword by transformation justu? Hold up, wait a minute, something isn't right. 4) Chapters are too short and lack depth. 5) Dialogue is somewhat lifeless and low quality a.i - ish. 6) Pace is slow, too slow. you can easily skim and skip most of the chapter as far as I've read. 3-6 chapter can easily be condensed to one chapter. ************Writing Quality 3. Story Development 2. Character Design 2, Updating Stability 5, World Background 2. Writer-san your chapters are too short yet filled up with water and pace of story is too slow. MC is extremely naive to the point of being unlikeable also a little bit of pushover not an endearing quality in any kind of MC. OG Naruto has many plot holes, but your story started with a plot hole Senju father with enormous pool of chakra and contradiction Uchiha mother. Anyway with best wishes to you and your story ( At least you had the balls to write and publish you ff). Bye have fun and live happily.
Revelar Spoilerits a good fanfic but the problem is that there are plot holes and also the grammar isnt good, the author forgets full stops/periods, puts big gaps in the middle of a monologue which makes the story less fun to read because it just pulls the quality down a lot even though the story is really good
This story I believe has potential, however the side characters are too two dimensional need more depth and details. Most scenes are rushed and forced.
It would be better if the main character is the first person point of view with the pronoun 'I'. It would be better if the main character is the first person point of view with the pronoun 'I'. It would be better if the main character is the first person point of view with the pronoun 'I'.
The novel is basically a poorly executed ‘Wind Calamity’, with a senju as the MC, borderline unreadable sentences, poor interpunction and spelling, and average grammar. The character is, well, bland, he doesn’t, in my opinion, differ from your average isekai MC. Didn’t read long enough to see any innovative interpretations of the shinobi world, but a ‘canon accurate’ version still deserves 4 stars.
nice! keep going, don't drop this please... also will there be boruto and otsatsuki stuff in this? if so,i don't think this is enough mc should have more power
Really everything was fine until the mc got emotionally blackmailed into accepting another girl. It’s really disappointing. Even the relationship with the other girl is really flat and is just nice to read or to be ignored. And no one ever come at me with strong people alwys have many girls around them. Every strong ninja in Naruto has 1 wife. Was good until chap 54 even tho it was basically a training montage
Alright this is actually a decent fanfic. No system, no ludicrous wish fulfilment nonsense. There are a few flaws though. The first is that you obviously do not proofread. The second is that your attention to standard writing rules is half assed : You do not start your sentences with capitals, you write numbers with symbols instead of letters. Lastly, sometimes it gets a little too much with other’s reaction of the main character deeds. Many times I have found myself half sighing/cringing when I read Hiruzen thinking "how is he this good oh my god 🥵🥵". No. He is Hiruzen Sarutobi, he has seen Jounin level seven year-old before and all kind of prodigees through his decades of kagedom. Get that fixed, and your story will level up in quality greatly. I wish you the best !
I usually don't like OC characters, but in this story, the OC characters didn't bother me at all.Even though it's sad that I finished it in two days (I'm on episode 101), I think this shows the fluidity of the story 😅. The Uchiha massacre is still 3-4 years away and I want to get closer to canon as soon as possible.Reading so many tutorials is getting boring. I would be happy if there was a time skip in the near future. My first language isn't english so I can't comment on your writing quality, but it shouldn't be a problem since it has been translated properly into my own language. I'm curious how Mc will change the main story. I hope you don't make MC a group (like Akatsuki). For some reason, I don't like stories where the main character has his own little group. It's still your choice. ALSO add someone who is not an OC to the harem, reading plain OC characters starts to get boring after a point. I have nothing else to say. I am also a mechanical engineering student and unfortunately I cannot support you on Patre•n (and the exchange rate difference does not help at all).However, one of my power stones will always be yours.
Very well written mc and his sociable probably soon his girlfriend and the plot is also ok and I'm waiting for more and counting his uchiha and senju horn very nice idea
Revelar Spoilerit is intreresting story which is not too fast or too slow , I also like how writer does not give too much information on side stuff and only writing on point
It is a good story I like everything about it apart from the harem part I really think he should only stay with Yomi or it will ruin the story
Love the story and thanks for updating so frequently Also this is what I’m imagining the mc looks like when he gets older
Fraco [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
Ni[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
The story is good and the protagonist is also progressing well with his development but I want some cultural stuff bro
The MC is not edge lord and thank god it is not a system novel. Book is good. Atleast Give it a try before passing judgement. My first issue is pacing. The pacing is too fast paced and stabilized somewhere around 50 chapters. Hope author continues it that way otherwise it feels like watching a YouTube video on 4x speed. Second issue is main characters are training day in and day out. There is not enough break. From readers POV it would too overwhelming as they are productive every chapter posted. To offside it, show how MC and similar are interacting like going outside doing something entertaining etc. it kinda takes readers mind off but the transition should be organic. MC is becoming too OP too fast. Even without system cheats MC is becoming OP too fast. Better make the MC settle for sometime and make readers adjusted. Naruto is a story which takes more chapters to fully explore. So it is best if author takes it slow and explores more. Author specific:- If you are serious about writing this fic, Try to look in reddit sub threads for novels with high intense fight narration. It might help writing more flushed out fight scenes. Fight scenes are the bread and butter of Naruto fic. The story premise would be same for all the thousands of fics but if you want your fic to stand out you need to bring in more to the table. Overall it is 4 out of 5. Let me know about the criticism author if you have read the review.
I have read 27 chapters and i am really liking this book. Just a thing maybe review your chapters once after writing as there are some words missing or wrong, one instance i can think of is in one of the chapters you wrote through instead of throw. Also i don't know if its fixed in later chapters but its not huga clan instead it is hyuga clan( if its the same thing you meant when writing about a classmate from academy year 1).
it's looks up too were I am at I am just halfway the book and its great so far keep up the great work author
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Muy buena historia sigue así compa si es posible que puedas hacer otro tipo de historia como otros animes como una de dragon ball aso podrías concentrarte en otro libro mientras encuentras ideas para tus diferentes libros no tiene que ser dragon ball puede ser cualquiera de tus gustos
Revelar SpoilerHasta el momento es una excelente historia 👌🏻 con una velocidad de desarrollo agradable ni muy rápido ni muy lento, con varios detalles que no se mencionan en el manga y que se agradece bastante, el mc es simpático y un maníaco del entrenamiento jajaja y se siente bien su desarrollo como shinobi; De mi parte espero que aprenda Fūinjutsu ya que tiene mucho potencial y si es posible que sea Fūinjutsu estilo Uzumaki 🙏🏻
I tried to read this book but it became too much for me this book isn’t even about mc himself.. that oc girl is like tail of the mc every single chapter you describe every move of the mc with her, like they went to sleep they trained together bla bla. There is no character development at all. not worth it
1.)A child of Senju and Uchiha that is enough to f- up everything unless he is taken to root or stolen by Orochimaru. He must be taken to root even without chakra and Zetsu would taken him during his birth maybe taken his mom before birth. 2) Senju clan and the name Senju was disbanded. I have no idea how so much OC Senju is popping up. 3) Transforming MC's clone to chakra metal sword by transformation justu? Hold up, wait a minute, something isn't right. 4) Chapters are too short and lack depth. 5) Dialogue is somewhat lifeless and low quality a.i - ish. 6) Pace is slow, too slow. you can easily skim and skip most of the chapter as far as I've read. 3-6 chapter can easily be condensed to one chapter. ************Writing Quality 3. Story Development 2. Character Design 2, Updating Stability 5, World Background 2. Writer-san your chapters are too short yet filled up with water and pace of story is too slow. MC is extremely naive to the point of being unlikeable also a little bit of pushover not an endearing quality in any kind of MC. OG Naruto has many plot holes, but your story started with a plot hole Senju father with enormous pool of chakra and contradiction Uchiha mother. Anyway with best wishes to you and your story ( At least you had the balls to write and publish you ff). Bye have fun and live happily.
Revelar Spoilerits a good fanfic but the problem is that there are plot holes and also the grammar isnt good, the author forgets full stops/periods, puts big gaps in the middle of a monologue which makes the story less fun to read because it just pulls the quality down a lot even though the story is really good
This story I believe has potential, however the side characters are too two dimensional need more depth and details. Most scenes are rushed and forced.
It would be better if the main character is the first person point of view with the pronoun 'I'. It would be better if the main character is the first person point of view with the pronoun 'I'. It would be better if the main character is the first person point of view with the pronoun 'I'.
The novel is basically a poorly executed ‘Wind Calamity’, with a senju as the MC, borderline unreadable sentences, poor interpunction and spelling, and average grammar. The character is, well, bland, he doesn’t, in my opinion, differ from your average isekai MC. Didn’t read long enough to see any innovative interpretations of the shinobi world, but a ‘canon accurate’ version still deserves 4 stars.
nice! keep going, don't drop this please... also will there be boruto and otsatsuki stuff in this? if so,i don't think this is enough mc should have more power
Really everything was fine until the mc got emotionally blackmailed into accepting another girl. It’s really disappointing. Even the relationship with the other girl is really flat and is just nice to read or to be ignored. And no one ever come at me with strong people alwys have many girls around them. Every strong ninja in Naruto has 1 wife. Was good until chap 54 even tho it was basically a training montage
Alright this is actually a decent fanfic. No system, no ludicrous wish fulfilment nonsense. There are a few flaws though. The first is that you obviously do not proofread. The second is that your attention to standard writing rules is half assed : You do not start your sentences with capitals, you write numbers with symbols instead of letters. Lastly, sometimes it gets a little too much with other’s reaction of the main character deeds. Many times I have found myself half sighing/cringing when I read Hiruzen thinking "how is he this good oh my god 🥵🥵". No. He is Hiruzen Sarutobi, he has seen Jounin level seven year-old before and all kind of prodigees through his decades of kagedom. Get that fixed, and your story will level up in quality greatly. I wish you the best !
I usually don't like OC characters, but in this story, the OC characters didn't bother me at all.Even though it's sad that I finished it in two days (I'm on episode 101), I think this shows the fluidity of the story 😅. The Uchiha massacre is still 3-4 years away and I want to get closer to canon as soon as possible.Reading so many tutorials is getting boring. I would be happy if there was a time skip in the near future. My first language isn't english so I can't comment on your writing quality, but it shouldn't be a problem since it has been translated properly into my own language. I'm curious how Mc will change the main story. I hope you don't make MC a group (like Akatsuki). For some reason, I don't like stories where the main character has his own little group. It's still your choice. ALSO add someone who is not an OC to the harem, reading plain OC characters starts to get boring after a point. I have nothing else to say. I am also a mechanical engineering student and unfortunately I cannot support you on Patre•n (and the exchange rate difference does not help at all).However, one of my power stones will always be yours.
Very well written mc and his sociable probably soon his girlfriend and the plot is also ok and I'm waiting for more and counting his uchiha and senju horn very nice idea
Revelar Spoilerit is intreresting story which is not too fast or too slow , I also like how writer does not give too much information on side stuff and only writing on point
It is a good story I like everything about it apart from the harem part I really think he should only stay with Yomi or it will ruin the story
Love the story and thanks for updating so frequently Also this is what I’m imagining the mc looks like when he gets older
Fraco [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
Ni[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
The story is good and the protagonist is also progressing well with his development but I want some cultural stuff bro
The MC is not edge lord and thank god it is not a system novel. Book is good. Atleast Give it a try before passing judgement. My first issue is pacing. The pacing is too fast paced and stabilized somewhere around 50 chapters. Hope author continues it that way otherwise it feels like watching a YouTube video on 4x speed. Second issue is main characters are training day in and day out. There is not enough break. From readers POV it would too overwhelming as they are productive every chapter posted. To offside it, show how MC and similar are interacting like going outside doing something entertaining etc. it kinda takes readers mind off but the transition should be organic. MC is becoming too OP too fast. Even without system cheats MC is becoming OP too fast. Better make the MC settle for sometime and make readers adjusted. Naruto is a story which takes more chapters to fully explore. So it is best if author takes it slow and explores more. Author specific:- If you are serious about writing this fic, Try to look in reddit sub threads for novels with high intense fight narration. It might help writing more flushed out fight scenes. Fight scenes are the bread and butter of Naruto fic. The story premise would be same for all the thousands of fics but if you want your fic to stand out you need to bring in more to the table. Overall it is 4 out of 5. Let me know about the criticism author if you have read the review.
I have read 27 chapters and i am really liking this book. Just a thing maybe review your chapters once after writing as there are some words missing or wrong, one instance i can think of is in one of the chapters you wrote through instead of throw. Also i don't know if its fixed in later chapters but its not huga clan instead it is hyuga clan( if its the same thing you meant when writing about a classmate from academy year 1).
it's looks up too were I am at I am just halfway the book and its great so far keep up the great work author
,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.
Muy buena historia sigue así compa si es posible que puedas hacer otro tipo de historia como otros animes como una de dragon ball aso podrías concentrarte en otro libro mientras encuentras ideas para tus diferentes libros no tiene que ser dragon ball puede ser cualquiera de tus gustos
Revelar Spoiler