Oh, for fuck's sake... I wish Bright's followers would take you with them. I feel like after a night of lovemaking with a female death claw. Everything hurts, even my hair. Oh, yeah, I forgot, I'm here. So, who am I? And I'm-- Oh, fuck it! Why are you doing this to me? I've done my job. Why is this a setup?
All right, a job's a job. I don't really have a choice anyway. So, chest out, tail out, face darker so I don't stand out, and go save the world. I'm going to take them all down! But I haven't grown up yet, but that's a matter of time. The main thing is that they didn't put him in a woman's body. That would have been a total disaster. It's worse. I don't know what's worse. Walking around afterwards, making a stupid face and looking up at the sky, asking the Player: "Where's my sausage? Where's my sausage? Sausage?". Ah ha ha...
OK... Somehow, it's not funny. I'm not laughing for a few reasons.
Item number one!
I'm in a killer world that I know on a level... Of course, not on a story, that man over there is an arsehole, that old bloke's an arsehole, and that chick's got big tits, she's lovely. Of course, with a sixth aspiring, how could she be wrong? I don't care if she's committing genocide on some people. She's still good. I'm in the wrong place. So I'm in Naruto's world and don't want to be here. Because I do know the canon, though I can't say I know it by heart. I can tell the main villains from the relatively normal ones. And that's definitely a plus and a normal one at that. And if you think about it? I don't know exactly who's who. It's not an anime. It could happen that... That everything I know, all my foresight, loudly singing "Farewell to the Slavs", will go to shit! But we'll deal with that as we go along.
Item number two!
From everything I know and the memory of this calf, it's safe to conclude that I'm fucked. As deep as the Mariana Trench and as hopeless as... As fuck knows what, there's nothing to compare it to. This whole Mojave fuck-up feels like a ride in an amusement park. What awaits me here... To put it mildly, it sends a chill down my spine. And to put it mildly, nothing but profanity comes to mind. But that's not the worst of it! The most offensive thing is that I was stuck in the body of the most important ...
- Wake up, how are you feeling? - Having opened the door to the ward, the elderly Irjenin began with a start.
- What do you think? - Sitting down, I asked sharply.
- Why so rude? - Going out, sighed the old man. - You treat them, treat them, and they? That's the youth, not an ounce of respect for old people.
Come on, get out of here, you fucking idiot. He told me off. Young people, young people... Ugh, fuck.
So, to summarise. I've entered the world of Naruto. A world where they teach you how to kill from the age of seven, and people like me even earlier. And that's not good. Or...
Plan of action! I'm going to have to do a thorough review of my acquired memory. Recall everything this body's been taught and mix it with your skills. Learn the local stuff and do it as soon as possible. I don't want to face the coming fuck-up bare-assed.
And most importantly, I don't want to draw attention to myself. Cos I don't give a fuck. No one's going to treat me like a courtesan, no one's going to talk me down, no one's going to wipe my arse. A bite on the throat and behind the wall or in the lab.
Kunai, that's how it is! I was going to say knife, but I noted kunai. Well, that's a plus. In case I get carried away, I won't tell. So, what else? I need to see how my system has been redesigned.
SISTE.
- I see you're feeling better. - A big bloke in his 40s came into the ward. - He's already being rude to the staff.
Aha! You're Hyuga! I recognised your eyes. It's repulsive like you're blind and you can't catch your eyes because you have no pupils. Well, what can I say? He's big enough to break bones. I won't be rude.
- Please forgive me. - I just came to my senses, and now you're asking me questions.
- I understand. - Pulling a chair over to the bunk, I smiled. - So what are you going to tell me?
- I'll say I'm ready to go home and not occupy the bunk. Will you let me go?
- You'll have to stay with us for a couple of days. - Putting me down on the bed, the Irishman smiled. - Now, whether you like it or not, I'll have a look at you.
Of course, for a couple of days! How could I not? I've got to get everything of value out of here in time. And the corpses have to be cleaned up. I hope the management can do it in a couple of days. Otherwise, it won't look good when I return, and there's looting in my house. I don't want to end up on the street at this rate. They'll say that so much property is too much for me and throw me out to the dormitory. But what do I care? I have nothing to do with these buildings and land. I'm here on a mission. Unless I pretend it really bothers me. And if anyone suspects anything wrong with my behaviour, it's easy to blame it on psychological trauma. I've had relatives murdered in one night, most brutally. I could've gone cuckoo. It's not unusual. Little cunt saw his big brother slaughter his whole family with his own eyes. And he's been given a not-so-nice lecture, too. That'll get anyone's balls behind the rollers.
Eh, the Player was right. It's gonna be tough. But I'll get through it. Courier never gave up.
****
After examination, during which it became clear that I was healthy as an ox and did not need any help, the Irishman ordered me to lie down and not go further than the toilet and went away on his Irish business. Left alone, I immediately jumped out of bed. And with a strange, jerky gait, which made me laugh, I went to the mirror hanging on the wall.
Well... I'm not so bad. I've got a pretty face, big black eyes. Hair the colour of a crow's wing. Handsome! When I grow up, I'll make the entire female population of Konoha boil... Well, it's too early to think about that. No, it's never too early to think about it. I'm sure that'll be a problem, though. A child's body, an adult's mind... It's not a problem. It's a disaster! No one will give it to a child, even for money. We'll have to wait five years. That's about it... And then there's growing up, hormones... Although, after what Player said, it'll start much sooner.
Oh, fuck it. I'm on a mission. I don't have time for a lot of love. Although the Player did say something about that. Something about the one, or even more than one. What could that mean? While I'm alone in the ward, I'll look at the system and how it's been adapted to local conditions.
I jumped on the bed, lay down, and was about to mentally say the two cherished words when the door opened. A pretty girl in a white gown entered the room with a tray. She put the tray on my feet, ruffled my hair and, sitting down on the next bunk, smiling, began to look at me.
- Can you stop looking at me like that. - I snorted, not looking at the nurse. "I don't have patterns, and flowers don't grow on me.
- Don't be so mean. - The girl wrinkled her nose. - Do you want to talk? Or can I get you something else? You just say I...
- I want to be alone. If it's not too much trouble, leave me alone.
- If you need anything, call me. I'm right here. My name is Ai, ah.
- I'll take note. - Without looking at the sociable nurse, I nodded, "If I don't forget.
She's gone, and since the hottie's gone, it's worth checking out.
SYSTEM
STATUS
Name: Uchiha Sasuke
Age: 7 years old
Rank: Academy student. (no bonuses)
Level: 2 (100/0)
OZ: 1000=0.5/sec.
OD: 100=1/s
Chakra: 1000=0.5/s
Chakra Control: 25%
CHARACTERISTICS
Strength: 2
Perception: 4
Endurance: 3
Charisma: 5
Intelligence: 5
Dexterity: 4
Luck: 6
Characteristics Points: 2. Allocate?
Well, let's spread it out. Strength and... Hmm, well, let's go with intelligence.
Strength: 3
Intelligence: 6.
Oh, fuck. It's so sickening. It was like a wave travelling through my body, and something in my head felt moving. But after a moment, it stopped. Mm-mm! I'm definitely more robust now. I can feel it! And my thoughts are smoother... OK, what else.
SKILLS
Ninjutsu: 20
Kenjutsu: 20
Taijutsu: 35
Genjutsu: 5
Iryoninjutsu: 0.
Skill Points: 30. To distribute?
Where. Skills from a past life, where are they?
"Skills from a past life remain, but are hidden. All values reduced by 50%. Increasing the values of previous skills, with an increase in characteristics, will be automatic."
Oh, well, all right, then, I'm cool. Oooooh... Almost scared me. OK, points.
Ten in ninjutsu, ten in kenjutsu, five each in gen and tai. Got it done, and again, a strange, tugging sensation in response. Not that it hurts, but it sure doesn't feel good. Moving on.
DOJUTSU.
Sharingan. Level 1(48/0)
-5 Chakra/s when used.
Forty-eight what? Points, seconds, minutes, hours, months? Why is there no exact information? SYSTEM, what the fuck is this?
"To unlock a new level of dojutsu, you must use it for forty-eight hours, possible intermittently. With each level, the number of hours will increase by: level three - ninety-two, level four - three hundred."
That's it. So I don't need an eye transplant, and I don't need a nervous breakdown? That's a huge plus, a plus. Or is it? If I say, kill my best mate, will it work? I don't want to check, and I don't have any friends, and I doubt I'll have any. It's possible, though.
THINGS
Cato: 20%
Ryton: 10%.
It's more than modest. I'm still small, though. I mean, it's the body that's small. I've been an adult for a while now, but two elements. I'm not happy about that. In time, another one will open up. Well, now for the thing I'm most excited about.
INVENTORY
WEAPONS
OK, weapons are here. Player, I love you, and you have no idea how much. Everything is in place, and that's a lot to be excited about. Although, come to think of it, the first shot from something big-bore would cripple me. The same shotgun's got a recoil that'll kill your fingers. And broken arms. So, for now, I will use only laser and plasma weapons. They have no recoil and small-calibre too. Let's move on.
HELP
I've also got it, and I've got everything. It's like a holiday. No, it's really cool. Stimulants, all the combat chemistry, food, water and shit.
SUITS
Erm... Empty. Yeah, well, if I can shoot, I can't put on police armour. I can't do anything in power armour.
DIFFERENT
Ooh, this is sad. No money, I mean, not a single Ryo. What am I going to live on? Well, at least you'll give me a travelling allowance. Per diem or whatever it's called? So he left the guns but didn't give me any money. Isn't that a subtle hint that I should go robbing? Or begging?
INCOMING MESSAGE!
Message from: Player.
"I completely forgot, here you go. How are you liking your new place?"
Yeah, ecstatic. I don't know what to do. All right, how much did they give me? Three hundred thousand? That's a lot or a little. I've got weapons, medical supplies and ammunition. But they're not infinite, and then I'm faced with a full-blown dilemma: where to get the same ammo and stimulants?
INCOMING MESSAGE!
Message from: Player.
"In the shop, a new section in the system. Everything you need, you'll find there. The merchandise is mostly from Mojave, but I've added a few things for you. That'll help, but that's the end of my help. I'll cover you, but other than that. You're on your own."
Ah, well, thanks for that. That makes me feel better. I'm curious if he's giving other agents gifts, too. Why would he want to save the world anyway? It's supposed to end well enough. Or does it? All right, let's do it.
SHOP.
Hmm, the usual, and the prices are pretty decent. I'm sure we'll have no trouble finding food. You don't even have to leave the house. I know I won't because I have five years to attend the academy. Learn the art of taking people's lives. At seven fucking years old.
Well, why am I surprised? In Mojave, any cunt could put a bullet in your head for a couple of caps. And if they're in a gang, that's the wrong place.
So, I've got the magazine with me at all times. We got guns and ammo, food and medicine, some money. We can start gathering information. For now, just listen, don't get involved, don't ask questions under any circumstances. Because that could have undesirable consequences. A kunai sticking out of your eye or a slit throat. Or...
What's wrong? I can't get my head around it.
Well, it's not so bad if you look at it that way. It's an exciting world. There's plenty to see and explore. So there's no need to despair. We grow, learn, gather information, gain strength, sort things out, and don't shine until the time comes. And it's gonna be a long time from now.
All right, we'll see what's in the shop later. Let's see what they're poisoning the patients at the local clinic right now. OK, rice, some rubbish, sauce, no bread, pity. But it smells OK. What does it taste like? Well, it doesn't taste good, but it's basically good. Well, it's not bad, but it got cold while I was sorting out the system. Should I ask for a new one? No, that's cheeky. Let's just eat it and keep our mouths shut.
****
After lunch, the cheerful nurse came round again. And again, I bummed her out: her attempt to make conversation with me failed miserably. I did, however, speak to a familiar Irishman. Who took another look at me and said I had a visitor. And that we'd be allowed to see each other for a while.
Well, who the hell did they bring to me? I don't have any relatives, no friends. Who could have come to see me?
- Sasuke-kun, hello.
Oh my! The old monkey's here. What an honour. Well, well, let's hear it.
- Hello, Hokage-sama. - I tried to get up from my bunk.
- Stay down, stay down. - Hiruzen stopped me with a gesture. - You need to rest and regain your strength.
Yeah, before the revenge you've already planned, if I'm not mistaken. Or... Hmm, I won't jump to conclusions just yet.
- Thank you, Hokage-sama.
- You're welcome. - Hiruzen smiled. - How are you feeling? Is anything bothering you?
- What should I do next?
- Oh, that's what you mean. Well, the village will take care of you. As an orphan, you'll receive a monthly allowance until you graduate from the academy. And if it's hard for you to live alone in the neighbourhood, we'll give you a dormitory flat. At least you'll have some people around, neighbours, some companionship.
Motherfucker, he's gonna give me an allowance. And your parents didn't have any fucking money? Bank accounts, savings, shares? The old half-wit wants to kick me out of the neighbourhood. Fuck you! This is mine now, so wash up, you old sodomite.
- Thanks for your concern. But I'll be more comfortable at home.
- Of course, it's up to you and you alone. - Sarutobi was instantly dejected. - But don't worry, the neighbourhood is yours, you're the heir. I'll be going now, but you rest. And yes, Sasuke-kun, you can always come to me if you have any problems or difficulties, and I'll help you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome. - Hiruzen smiled warmly, huffing and panting as he waddled towards the door.
I don't know what to think. But I won't take this Dumbledore analogue's word for it. He's more complex than he pretends to be. He's got a sinister look in his eye, and I don't like him. Behind his easy-going, kindly grandfatherly exterior, he's clearly a severe man. He's a politician and a schemer. He's incapable of sympathy. Take Uzumaki and how he was treated by that old paederast and his associates. I'm not even talking about the slaughter of the Uchiha clan. How could that be? The head of the village, the strongest shinobi in the town, couldn't do anything. It doesn't make sense. What doesn't make sense is that he, Hiruzen, didn't want to do anything. Either he's a wimp with nothing to do, or he did it all alone.
There needs to be more information, inconsistencies, and holes in the story. One thing was clear: no one could be trusted. Anyone could be an agent of Hiruzen or, worse, Danzo. The pretty, blue-eyed nurse trying so hard to get me to talk - I'm sure she's one of them.
OK, what do I have? The current situation is this: I'm alone in enemy territory. Not even that. I'm right behind enemy lines. There are assassins, schemers, politicians, and enemies. And me, who has no one, no friends, no allies. But that's no reason to be discouraged. We need to come up with a clear plan of action. Take out a few people who care about me. Then we can relax a little, but only a little. We can't let our guard down. It's dangerous. You might not live to see the main events.
So, as soon as I'm discharged, I will start working. And I'll start by gathering information and looking around carefully. The plan is to collect as much information as possible, analyse it, and, if possible, eliminate the most dangerous opponents. Sarutobi Hiruzen, nicknamed "Monkey", is the first candidate for elimination. He is followed by the one-eyed mummy, Shimura Danzo. And that's where it's not a good idea to slow down before he tries to rake me with his gnarly hands. Or something else. We shouldn't forget about the elders, who should not rush to power but, due to their age, move towards the cemetery at their own pace. But, again, such people will be weird until their last breath and will put sticks on their wheels in every possible way. Such people do not calm down themselves, only with someone else's help. Losing their heads or dying by hanging is the best way to calm them down.
Hah! A seven-year-old moron plotting how to take out Kage, his sidekick Danzo and two old but powerful morons. Fucking funny. If you don't know what kind of soul is hiding in the body of the main Avenger, which is me, it really looks funny from the outside. But there's one little "but": I can do it, so I'll do it. I'm not going to drag this out. Wait for a miracle and hope that everything will work itself out. I have an assignment, and little things in the form of a greedy nursing home with exaggerated ambitions will not stop me. And a child's body will even help me in these matters.
****
As promised, precisely two days later, I was released to all four sides. Or home, though they tried to persuade me to stay in the hostel for a while. Despite the attempts of a fake-smiling Aya, I had turned down all those offers. Then her friend, or another underling, decided to scare me with ghosts. According to the whole staff of the fucking clinic, the dampness must have got into my neighbourhood. And, consequently, they wouldn't let me live peacefully in my house.
I snorted contemptuously, looking into the eyes of the two fools and everyone else, and entered the room. I changed into my own clothes, and I went to my room without looking at the worried staff who were there to see me off.
- Sasuke! Wait, I'll see you out. - With a wild shout, a pestering nurse ran after me. - If you don't mind?
- I know where I'm going, I'm not a kid, I won't get lost.
- Of course, you do! - The nurse smilingly threw up her hands. - Nobody said you were little, but I'll walk you out. I'm used to you now.
- No hands. - I jumped away from Aya's hands.
- OK. - The girl shrugged, still smiling cheerfully. - You're mean but cute, and I want to touch you.
So, openly impose? Have they completely lost their way? Or... Either I'm very suspicious, or they don't take me seriously yet, but they're already trying to tie me to this idiot. All right, I'll try to play along. I may find out something, but I don't think so. But the excellent auntie might be able to pull something small. And then I can be sure I'm being kept under wraps.
Auntie... She barely looks 18. Although, with Senjuevna in mind, the calculations are fucked. Who knows, the local Irjenin are all youngsters in disguise. Or--
- Let's go somewhere, and I'll feed you. - Grabbing my hand and pulling me towards her, Ai said. - Or else you have...
- Go on. - Looking into her wide-open blue eyes, I asked grimly. - Or else I have... What? There's no one at home? Well?
- I'm sorry.
- Fuck you. - I pulled my arm out and hissed. - Don't you dare follow me.
- Sasuke, wait.
Bitch...
INVENTORY
WEAPONS
Plasma gr...
You can't, I have to keep my cool until the time is right, and you bitch is at the top of my personal blacklist as of this very minute. Although.
- All right, let's go. - I snorted, taking the hand of the nurse who was barely holding back tears.
She played well and even squeezed out a tear... Or maybe she just felt sorry for me? No, I don't believe it, and I never will. Until I can prove otherwise, she's an enemy sent to spy on me. But then again, I don't feel threatened by her or Hiruzen. How do the instincts given to me by the Player work? What am I supposed to sense? Anxiety, worry, or... It's unclear yet, so we wait and silently follow the girl - it's a lot to eat for free. And for one thing, now I'm going to do something nasty. I've been dreaming about it for six years.
- Ai, ah... Can I have an ice cream? - I asked, looking at my feet. - You're welcome.
- As much as you want. - The girl squeezed my hand tighter, sat before me, and stroked my hair, smiling broadly. - Just promise me you won't catch a cold.
Yeah... I fucking swear. Empty your pockets, bitch. I'll eat like crazy... You're pretty, light blonde, short hair. Big blue eyes, dimples in your cheeks when you smile. They must have picked you on purpose to make me trust you. I don't know what to say to that, so I'll say it scientifically, in Latin: Crenus baldnessinus! To all of you, honourable management. You can't just take me.
My fears were confirmed half an hour later in the nearest cafe. The amount of money in my wallet, which I saw by chance, was disconcerting. Where does an ordinary nurse get such money? Option one, she got her salary. That's a no-no. Nobody gives it out in the morning. Option two: I got it yesterday but just remembered I must post it. Maybe, but it's a huge stretch. Option three is the most likely to be accurate, and it sounds like it was sent! They gave him money for expenses and told him to gain his trust. It fits. Option four is not at all plausible. She feels sorry for me. She really does sympathise. The maternal instinct has played out... Nonsense! I don't believe it.
Fuck the money. It's her behaviour and appearance that's alarming. She looks like a doll, not like she sits there and doesn't talk. No, she talks, and she speaks very well. Calming, uplifting, yet skilfully avoiding topics I'm uncomfortable with. Then what was at the hospital? Was it a subtle and skilful game, or did Stirlitz almost fail? It's unclear, but I'm leaning towards the former. OK, now for the exciting part. She's too-- No, she's not. She's wrong, all of her, from her smile that doesn't seem real to her overprotective behaviour.
I'd never met her before, we didn't know about each other. Could it be that she'd become so attached to me in two days of not-so-pleasant interactions? No, there's no such thing. So I've got an experienced spy sitting next to me right now. Who? Danzo, Hiruzen, or a foreign intelligence agency. In all three cases, I can't be happy. Though looking at Ai, I really want to be wrong, which, in this case, would turn out to be a fatal mistake for me and end badly.
****
- Come to my place. - Standing at the gate shouted a "friend" who didn't want to leave. - I'm at work every day. Eight to six. Or I'll come round tonight. I'll bring you something for tea. We'll talk. Remember, you have to go to the academy tomorrow. Pack everything well, and if you get scared, run to the hospital. I'll warn you, they'll start you up.
Get lost! You're boring me with your stories and your offers to help. I'll kill you, you bitch!
- Thank you. - I nodded to Aya, who was waiting for an answer. - That's what I'll do.
You're finally off my back. I'm free! And now that I'm here let's start looking at my new possessions. Although, I'd love to continue living at Lucky 38. Too bad that's not possible. All right, let's stay focused. I'm going to look at the massacre site and see if there's anything of value left in my house.
Hmm, it's a strange feeling. I remember absolutely everything. The familiar stone-paved path runs from the gate and right up to my house. The house itself is now my home. But no, it's an illusion, an evil joke of a learned memory. Creating a false sense that all this was once happening to me.
A mother is always kind and cheerful but sometimes stern on infrequent occasions. My father always frowned at my every move and consistently pointed out my failures. Itachi, for whom I had extreme feelings, but in return, I received ignoring and, in rare cases, a light poke in the forehead with two fingers... Occasional training sessions, which I waited for and constantly asked for. I got a condescending smile from my brother and answered like, "I'm busy today," "Some other time," "Stupid Ototo," and so on.
Eh, Sasuke, Sasuke... And after all, you weren't so much to blame in this story. I see things differently now. The shattered dreams, the hurt, the death of so many people. That's why you've become like this. Angry, vengeful, callous.
No wonder we create monsters, breed monsters and then try our best to stop them. Worst of all, monsters like you, Sasuke, come with good intentions. To protect, to save, to save, to make strong... But the result is a vicious, substantial, no-one-and-nothing recognising and, simultaneously, a pathetic creature. Blind and driven only by anger, a weapon of retribution. Oh, people...
Sasuke had been a kind and loving child not so long ago. Who knows what he would have grown up to be if things hadn't turned out the way they did? What direction history would have taken if there hadn't been that demon attack on Konoha? Or even before. What would have happened if Rin had stayed alive? I mean... Ouch, I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. I'm having flashbacks too. That's enough of that. Goodbye, Sasuke. I hope you have better luck in your next life. I'll go see what I have.
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