Capítulo 189: 186 Interlude: Jinx 2 Electric Boogaloo
Louisville, Kentucky, January 28th, 13:31.
Jinx is annoyed. But that's not really anything new to him. Whether it's due to his shitty luck or his asshole friend, there's always something happening to cause him a a migraine or two.
He thought that things were going too well recently, but it's like his power suddenly remembered to be a dick. Well, he says that, but it's not too bad in the grand scheme, just annoying for whoever has to actually do all the work.
Oh! Would you look at that! It's Jinx that has to do all that work? Oh my oh my, who ever could have seen this coming!
If not for how much more fun she's made his life, he'd really be mad at the amount of work she causes him.
Don't get Jinx wrong, he appreciates that she trusts him enough to let him handle things for her, but being the glorified secretary of Madness incarnate doesn't make for an incredibly stress free job.
For one, Harlequin has started having some troubles. Depending on how you classify troubles really. More like she's stopped having success.
She managed to from a Union of sorts, calling it the Moderate Harlequin Alliance in a fit of hysterical irony that only worked because her identity as Harlequin is relatively unknown, since she's usually busy.
But after spreading her influence from Chicago to Pittsburgh and all the way down to Nashville, people with actual power seem to have taken noticed and stopped any further expansion. But that's still hundreds of Protectorate members that she's built connections with, which doesn't even count all the attached Wards.
So she's having fun.
Then there's Fast Travel, who loves making money but doesn't know jack shit about business. So Jinx has had to help him set up his delivery service, with the help of Vendor.
He has no idea how Toybox got involved, but he also got a message from them about using the delivery system for their own products, so Travel is going to be happy at least. The dude is probably going to buy a private jet if this keeps up. He's like a kid in a candy store except he sees everything expensive as candy.
At least Butterfly is more competent. The dude decided to revive his old cape identity, which by the way, happens to fucking be Sage. So now he's building up what is basically a secret society of assassins, which is fun.
But as if all of that isn't enough, Lusia wants him to look into another secret society-esque organisation, except she doesn't even have a name to go off of. All she knows is that someone is selling powers and she wants to know who.
So now Jinx has to find a needle in a haystack except he's not looking for a needle and doesn't know what it is that he is looking for, and he's not looking in a haystack but the entire fucking ocean.
All the while, she's out there causing natural disasters and killing natural disasters.
Ash Beast was an S-Class threat in all but name, since he wasn't a real danger to anyone with how slow he moved. The fact that she killed him is putting the powers at be even more on edge than before. The only thing really holding them back from treating her like they did The Faerie Queen is that she spared those Portuguese people, and didn't kill anyone when she fought the Blasphemies.
Basically, fight fire with fire. Let the Monster roam so it kills the other monsters. The worst part is honestly that he has no idea if she's got a grander scheme at play that he hasn't picked up on, because for all that she loves to avoid thinking, that doesn't stop her from being smart anyway, and he wouldn't be surprised if she was just accidentally scheming something without even realising.
Fucking freak of nature, that woman.
With a deep sigh, Jinx leans back into his chair and decides to take a short brake to catch up on things, opening a laptop on the side of his desk, as opposed to the monitor he was using, and logs into PHO.
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♦ Inbox
♦ Private message from TinMom:
TinMom *New Message*: Hello again FoolishEndeavours. I know it wasn't you, but I can't not ban your account when it is used to threaten mods... again.
Your ban will be lifted on the 3rd of Febuary. Have a good day. :)
===
Well never fucking mind then.
That woman is so goddamn annoying. He uses that account for business and he has to constantly schedule shit around the bans she keeps getting him.
With an only slightly fond sigh, Jinx opens a new tab and types out a different address.
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...So he was a little lazy when designing the site, sue him. PHO is already what everyone knows, there's no reason to fix something that isn't broken, and it's not like he can really be sued anyway.
===
♦ Topic: A New Thread
In: Boards ► Global ► News ► Enjoying This Beautiful Worl
Shed a Tear (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified Serial Killer) (Verified Cannibal) (Slaughterer of the Nine) (Verified Class-S Threat) (Girl With Too Many Tags) (Clown)
Posted On Jan 2nd 2009:
...ran out of characters for the title :(
Heya funny little men in my phone, wanna see a bunch of cool pictures of the wonders of the world?
Well boy do I have something for you. See, I've decided to do a little travelling, y'know, bucket list shit and all that. You might have noticed some bigger than average waves if you live on a coast, north america and virgin islands (lol, virgins, like all of y'all XD) mostly. That was a result of my visit to greenland, where I met with the locals and things got a little out of hand.
Fun times.
So yeah, I've decided to post this and I'll update it with more pictures I take during my travels.
First of all, there's this crater the locals made to greet me with [IMAGE]
Then there's this pile of glaciers thrown into the ocean nearby, very photogenic, though that much ice could be a wave causing hazzard or smth... [IMAGE]
Then there's this selfie I took cuz I was feeling cute idk, might delete it later XP
...There's really not a lot of shit in Greenland, so that's it.
Edited On Jan 3rd: Went to the UK and some guy tried to stab me on the first day, so here's a picture of his corpse [LINK] and a picture of the lady who's flight I stole tied up in the toilets so I could leave on the same day I arrived [IMAGE]
Edited On Jan 6th: Visited france, been having a blast, I even climbed that tower they love so much [IMAGE] though I had to run away cuz the fun police arrived [IMAGE]
But that's not all! french people are hot! Or at least, hot french people are hotter than hot americans, so I've been having a lot of sex, wanna see?
TOO BAD VIRGINS!!
Nah I'm just fuckin, most of y'all have already probably seen me naked anyway cuz my clothes keep getting melted off and shit, so here's a selfie I took with a dorm of collage girls I convinced to have an orgy night [IMAGE]
I put black bars over their eyes because I am a kind and gracious person who cares about people.
Edited On Jan 11th: Went to Portugal through spain, fucked a lot of people, as one does, but I actually took a selfie with each of them this time, so this one goes out to you losers that will never feel the touch of a real woman [IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE]
I was a little bored by the time I got to Portugal though and decided to pick a fight with their main hero klan, but they ended up being disappointing. I even started just recording the whole thing shortly after we started, so here's the [LINK] for that.
Edited On Jan 15: Got in a fight with the Blasphemies for the sake of saving the good people of whatever the city was called, as I am a good and gracious person that does not need to be paid approximately 17 million dollars by the local government in order to help. Nope, not at all. :)
Oh, yeah, here's a pick of the Three Stooges before I started fighting [IMAGE]
There actually wasn't much opportunity to take more photos with them, cuz they were pretty strong, though I don't think they really match up with us big boys (Speaking of which, did you see that we're back up to 6? One more and we can actually outnumber the Endbringers, wouldn't that be dope? For the majority of humanities biggest threats to actually be humans instead of whatever the fuck Endbringers are (they aren't human, that theory's wrong))
That said, here's two of their corpses and the battleground [IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE]
Apparently they can just come back to life if you don't kill them all... didn't know that.
Edited On January 18th: Headed south, ended up killing a bunch of people in Turkey cuz they were really annoying, so here's a bunch of corpses for you edgy teens to masturbate to [IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE]
After that, I ended up in a big fucking desert [IMAGE] and walked around for a bit till I met this asshole [IMAGE] and decided to say hi.
He nearly broke my polaroid, and it wasn't even worth it, since I think the dude was dead a long time ago, just walking nuclear explosion corpse thing. And I really hoped he'd get formally added to the list too :(
Edited On Jan 26th: Kinda got bored and not in the mood for fighting, so I've just been doing actual tourist shit. Visited some nice views in Africa [IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE] made some friends [IMAGE][IMAGE] and then moved over to India, where I have finally been able to enjoy the abundant food supply [IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE][IMAGE]
In case anyone's curious, french people taste the best, but indians are a solid second.
(Showing page 156 of 188)
►ChaoticThief (Racist? I Think you Mean Based)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-WhedonRipperFan
So fucking what? I can hold whatever opinions I want so long as I still do my job. I'll treat any patient I get just as well as any other, doesn't mean I can't call them a fucking retard in the privacy of my own mind, especially when they ARE fucking retards.
►WhedonRipperFan (Pussy Bitch)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-ChaoticThief
If you work in a hospital then you shouldn't be so insulting to the people you're supposed to be caring for, calling them retards is just uncalled for and you should reconsider your choice of employment if basic human decency is foreign to you.
►MILFFUCKER (Moderator) (Fucker Of MILFs)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-ChaoticThief -WhedonRipperFan
If y'all wanna fight do it over PMs or something. Derailing is threads is already annoying, but do you really think derailing this thread specifically is a good idea?
►ChaoticThief (Racist? I Think you Mean Based)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-WhedonRipperFan
Hear that pussy bitch? No one wants your opinions
►WhedonRipperFan (Pussy Bitch)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-MILFFUCKER -ChaoticThief
I'm fine with putting an end to this, but shouldn't you be giving -ChaoticThief a ban or something? He's threatened me at least twice and is being a general ass. Even if this site isn't supposed to be strictly modded, surely you should do something?
►MILFFUCKER (Moderator) (Fucker Of MILFs)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-WhedonRipperFan
Ah, you're right, lemme just do my job as a mod real quick and hand out an infraction
►WhedonRipperFan (Pussy Bitch)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-MILFFUCKER
Wait, you must have mixed us up, why am I the one who got an infraction?
Edit: Why do I have this tag? How do I remove it?
►ChaoticThief (Racist? I Think you Mean Based)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-WhedonRipperFan
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get fucked pussy bitch.
This site doesn't have moderation dumbass, it has assholes with mod powers who use them however they feel like it, there's no rules, rules suck. Getting banned depends solely on the mod you're talking to and what mood they're in.
Retard
►WhedonRipperFan (Pussy Bitch)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
[This post has been deleted]
Don't talk about rules being good on a thread started by Shed A Tear, that's stupid -MILFFUCKER
►ChaoticThief (Racist? I Think you Mean Based)
Replied On Jan 28th 2009:
-WhedonRipperFan
Ahahahahahahahahaha get double fucked dumbass
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....Why does he even bother?
With a deeply exasperated sigh, Jinx leaves that thread and goes on to view the actual global news, to see if anything new is happening, until he gets distracted by a ping.
A private message request to be specific.
Which is interesting because he only gets notifications when messaged by someone verified to be someone of note, and when he reads it, he feels a his lips quirk into a smile.
Lusia was getting bored going around picking fights, but maybe that's just because she was playing single player? Either way, Jinx is pretty sure she'll like hearing about the job offer they just scored.
And he's certainly happy about the offered reward, a feeling many of his fellows will likely share. It almost makes him feel like the stereotypes about jews having all the money might have some truth to them, because that is a lot of zeroes.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Yeet, another lazy chapter in the form of PHO, more or less.
There was supposed to be more discussion about stuff, but I couldn't think of anything to type and ended up just making the chapter mostly just Lusia's travel vlog lol.
Also, notice how she didn't mention visiting any african warlords? That's strange, wonder if that means anything, Chekhov's Gun anybody? Or maybe it really means nothing and I'm just writing this to fuck with you ;)
(5+)Advanced chapters with the links below!
pat/reon.com/user?u=41732867 (get rid of the first slash or check the description)
Also, join the discord with this invite code! Pj3Dttwses
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