Capítulo 8: 8.You.
"I don't even know why I chose to come here!" She grumbled as she drove into the parking space.
"Because Pastor Maddins was involved" Rose told her with smiles.
Rissa only rolled her eyes at her as they both got down. "Is it going to be long?" She asked her mom as they were about to enter the church.
"Opening prayers, sermon, hymns, tithe and offertory then closing prayers, all these things takes about three to four hours" She added up.
"Ugh" She groaned and they both went in.
Luke had made her promise that she would be at the church today which she had refused but he kept insisting and she had reluctantly given in which she actually regretted now because how could she be in here for four hours, even an hour, talk more of three hours straight, she would rather be at a comedy show. She hated comedy shows because she felt the jokes were rather offensive or maybe she just really had a problem.
The two Pastors were already on the altar but this time the Preacher was seated somewhere while Luke was on the pulpit with the microphone in his hand, they had missed the opening prayers because she had taken all the time in the world to prepare but she was right in time for the sermon, immediately Luke sighted her, his face lit up and she felt really proud that she was the reason for that.
"What does it mean to be holy?" He started. "As a Christian, I am not even asking you to be a believer or not but you being here shows that there's hope for your transition in Christ. What comes to your head when someone says they are trying to be holy?" He stared at the brethren. They all seemed to be attentive. " What does it mean to be holy? I once heard that being 'holy' means being 'whole'. Some might think it means spending long hours in prayer or in church or reading the Bible. While all those things are good, they don't make a person holy. If someone doesn't take care of his/her family, or love his/her neighbor is that person holy? An example of holiness I once heard is that of a three legged stool. If any one of those legs is longer or shorter than the other and you try to sit on it, you will tip over. We human beings are much like that three legged stool. We are made up of mind, body and spirit. If we think that being holy means only taking care of the spiritual, our lives are out of whack. We need to take care of our minds and bodies as well. Jesus prayed, but he also ate and drank with his friends. He spent time alone, but he also visited with friends, studied Scripture, and taught them. He made sure his life was in order. Everyone's life is different, and our lives go through many stages. When we are parents, our primary focus is on our spouse and our children, and we might think we have less time for prayer – but we can offer the work we do to him; and this too is prayer. As we grow older, and our families take less of our time, we have to make sure that our minds stay active as well as our bodies if we are to remain healthy into old age. In each of these stages of life, we work on being holy; living as God wants us to live, following in the footsteps of Jesus, the perfect holy one" He was pleased with the way he had expressed the word holiness.
Rissa felt like he was talking to her but he wasn't, he was talking to the whole congregation because they were all shaking their head and they were all applauding him, he must have blown their mind.
"Let's pray pls" He went into a bow." Gracious God, you have set a challenge in front of us. How can we be holy as you? Help us to keep you as the focus of our lives and work to bring a balance to our lives, mentally, physically and spiritually. Amen. "
"Amen" They all chorused.
Rissa couldn't contain herself, she didn't want to be here and the way he was smiling on the altar was enough proof that he was happy to be here but she wasn't and she stood up from the congregation and walked out of the church, she knew Luke saw her but she wasn't sure her mom did though.
Luke could not wait for the service to end before he went to join Ms. Howly outside with other church members.
"Ms. Howly?" He called at her. "Can I see you for a second? " He took her away from them.
"Yes? Pastor Maddins? " She was surprised.
"Uhm--where is Marissa? I was sure I saw her" He inquired.
"She texted me that she was home" She said nonchalantly. "She didn't wait for the end of the service" She added.
"I see" He felt offended and he tried to hide it. "Alright then" He walked away and just then he came across Lawrence.
"What's up man?" They shook. "Been a while" Lawrence added.
" Yeah" He didn't seem interested in anything he said or even himself, he just needed to see Rissa immediately.
"Are you off to somewhere? " Lawrence asked noticing his reckless mood.
"I'm sorry Lawrence but yeah" He said immediately.
"Oh-do I drop you off or something? You need a lift?" He asked.
"Can you?" He sounded pleadingly. "Pls?"
"Sure man" He patted his arm and they both went off to his car.
Lawrence was driving at a normal speed but whatever it was must have really bothered Luke because he was only peering through the window all along.
"You know man there's something I wanted to discuss with you" He said trying to distract him.
"Huh? Really?" He glanced at him but not giving him his total focus.
"It's about my love life but we can discuss that later" He said. "You seem off"
"Sorry man" He said quickly.
He was mad and hurt at the same time, they finally got to Rissa's, he parked at the front porch.
"It's alright now, Thanks man" He hopped out of the car hurriedly.
What the heck was Luke doing at Rissa's place conveniently!!! Ms Howly was still at the church?
Lawrence could not put the puzzle together like why was Luke here? He drove off in utter confusion.
Rissa was sipping her a glass of wine when she heard the door bang. She walked to the door wondering who it was, she knew it wasn't her Mom.
She flung the door open. "Luke?" Why was he here?
He pushed pass her and got in while she shut the door behind him.
"Why didn't wait till the end of the service?".
"For what? Pastor Luke" She rolled her eyes.
He grabbed her waist. "I was worried Marissa! And it's Luke".
"I could not continue looking at you on that altar, I just want you to make love to me c'mon! " She yelled.
"Not this again" He withdrew his hands. "We have to be married.. an.."
"I'm not ready!"
"Till then" He walked away leaving her staring at him.
Rissa had a xenophobia for marriage and ministers of God weren't her kind of people, but then Luke.
Luke got home really torn, there was no way that woman saw any thing his way and neither did he, he was trying to make her his at least if he was going to take up the offer but she wasn't making it easy, he wanted her to be his girlfriend but no! Rissa only wanted a sex buddy, how could that be a life! What sort of living was that, it deterred with his own way of living.
"How are you doing Mr. Fin?" She went through the patient's file and handed it to the nurse behind her.
He struggled to sit up and Rissa rushed to help him, he felt really weak. "I feel really tired" He said finally sitting up.
Rissa nodded with a smile. "You actually should, it's a miracle you are still alive... Thanks to our toxicologists around" She added. He was the poison patient.
"I am grateful but not happy about that" He looked disappointed or probably sad. "I don't deserve to live actually" He said in dismay.
"You shouldn't leave your drinks hanging around if you aren't going to take it anymore" She only said ignoring his words.
"It wasn't even my party but my friend's wedding anniversary but I got poisoned? Why? Who was after me?" He looked bewildered now. Different emotions were settling around his wrinkled but strong face.
Rissa shook her head. "Only you would know that, Mr Fin and you should also quit drinking " She replied. "We haven't seen your wife around? Your report said married " She said.
His eyes instantly became heavy, was he going to cry or something? "Married but not in a marriage" He noted out.
"What?" She was confused. She sat by him, doctors were not supposed to prey into their patient's personal business unless for mental recovery, only psychiatrist did that not a cardiologist but she was interested in whatever Mr Fin had to say.
The nurse and Rissa exchanged glances and she left them.
"That's why I said I don't deserve to live" He said remorseful. "Why didn't I just die?" He gave Rissa a quick glare before dissolving.
"Mr Fin--" She rubbed his back in consolation. "We all actually deserve to die but somehow we keep waking up each day" She smiled sarcastically at him.
"Don't tell me it's God!" He took his eyes away.
"I wasn't going to either" She assured him. "I'm sure you haven't done so bad a thing to deserve dying" She tried to sound hopeful.
"I killed!" His eyes was bloodshot with pain.
Rissa withdrew her arm immediately, she was shocked beyond words, killing. "Self--de-fense?" She hoped.
He shook his head. "Definitely not" He replied.
"Why?" She asked still in shock.
"I was always drinking and hitting my wife and kids whenever I came home drunk, my wife was such a submissive woman that she wasn't ready to talk to anyone about her abusive marriage and I took advantage of that" He held his hands in regret. "One night, I came home drunk as usual and got angry for nothing and started hitting her, just then my older daughter came to try to separate us because I have two beautiful girls, they are two years apart. While hitting her, I pushed my daughter off and she hit her head on the wall, she--she--just dropped dead" He seemed horrified.
Rissa didn't even know what to say to this story right now because she had never had that before. "More reason why you should quit drinking, it Will deteriorate your health if you persist. It was a miracle saving you" She tried to sound like a professional and not get sentimental.
"It's the only thing that makes me forget that day, doc " She begged. "My wife wouldn't tell the cops that I had killed our daughter, instead she gave a lie that the child had fell and hit her head. After much investigations, they found nothing and let it be. Few days later, I returned from work to find my house empty, she left with every single thing that belonged to her including my other daughter " The tears clouded his eyes now.
She sighed, "You must have been devastated" .
"I was torn, my families wanted me to trace her or report her to the police that she ran away with our child but I couldn't because I knew why she left, she was probably scared and didn't want to loose our daughter and of course, they didn't know I was a wife beater " He wiped the tears as they fell down.
"Don't you want to see them again? " She only asked.
"It's been seven years, I really do, at least before I die" He said immediately.
"Then quit drinking " She said back. "You drank for seven years and didn't get them back, why can't you avoid it and see what happens? It's because of your usual drinking habit that you lost your family " She told him.
"I don't know doc, what if they have moved on? What if my daughter hates me and doesn't want to see me? What use is it? " He felt hopeless.
She smiled at him to give him an ounce of hope. " There's no doubt that your daughter probably despises you but it doesn't mean that she would not want to see you" She said. "She might be close by but yet far" She added.
"Do you think? " He was anxious. "How would I face her or her mother? " He took Rissa's hand.
"I honestly don't know" She shrugged. "Just make sure they know that you have changed" She patted his hands in hers.
"Oh-thank you " He hugged her. "To think that children expect us to be perfect and look up to us as role models" He said filled with hope.
"That's what you are" She said back.
"No" He countered. "I'm not speaking for myself but parents aren't perfect, I had to become one to realize that, parents can make mistakes. Mistakes that can be gravely too and hurtful but we are just like them, the only difference is that we brought them into this life. I wish our kids understand that we can make mistakes too but what actually makes a parent a good one is the fact that they can realize their mistakes and want to correct it " He emphasized.
Rissa had her dad in mind all through, wasn't her dad perfect? He was supposed to be, he left them. What sort of mistake was that! Not all mistakes can be corrected though and not all injuries heal without a scar.
"What if correcting is impossible? " She asked back. " Like the deed has been done and no going back or you don't regret the mistake but you are trying to correct it? " She felt all sort of way right now.
"I killed my child, doc? I regret it a hundred percent. I regret being a bad husband and father but it had been done, she isn't going to come back and it doesn't look like I am going to have my marriage back but--I am going to work everyday of my live if my other daughter comes that I was truly sorry and I will forever be and I will always love her even though she might hate me. I can't correct my grievous mistake even though I regret but a least one thing is sure, I loved them and I will forever will" He told her.
Rissa didn't know what to say anymore, she knew her dad loved her so much but why!!!!!!!!!!!
"Where are you off to in such a haste?" Lola hurriedly walked towards her. "You didn't even wait for me" She added with a frown.
"I'm sorry babe" She patted her arm. "I just need to go see Luke" She answered.
"Rissa...?" She called suspiciously. "Have you done something again?"
"A little" She smiled nervously. "I'll see you later or tomorrow" She went away.
"Oh girl! You've got a lot of shit" She sighed as she watched her leave.
Rissa knocked gently then she heard his foot steps coming towards the door, the way he had dragged it showed that he wasn't in the mood to entertain visitors of any sort but here she was at his door step staring at his gorgeous brown eyes.
"Will you let me in?"
He didn't say a word, he only opened wider while she went in. "I was sleeping" He said closing the door.
"Oh" She turned to him. "I'm sorry I woke you" She went towards him.
"It's fine" He smiled off.
She went over to him closing all the gap in the world between them, he looked down with his beards looking scattered below his jaw which she knew she had caused herself.
"I'm sorry" She said but it came in more as a whisper. "I shouldn't have left the church half way, at least for you" She tried to sound audible enough.
He sighed and grabbed her head. "Yeah-I didn't like it but that's your choice to make, I just realized that. I'm sorry--I over reacted" He brought her fore head to his lips and kissed it.
"I love you" He whispered into her ears.
It only made her nervous, she leaned in and kissed him affectionately. Using her tongue to open his mouth a bit more, the kiss deepened and he played his hand around her waist.
He lifted his left hand and held the counter as a support because he was leaning in for more, his body was just giving in willingly. Weather is was ideal or not, he actually didn't care at all.
"Sex or my hands?" She whispered in between kisses, she didn't want to be a bad influence but she could already feel his little brother poking on her and she was as wet as a fish too.
"Marissa" He only moaned. It was a go-ahead for Rissa as she slipped her hand beneath the slacks and just grabbed, giving him the massage routine thoroughly with several moans flying around the room. Luke didn't know what to think because nothing functioned completely well whenever he was with her and he hated himself for that..
I know it wasn't steaming enough ; )
It's going to get better..
Sermon from Frances Taylor
What is your own definition of holiness?
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