Capítulo 71: Chapter 71 - From The Start
"Are you doing ok?"
I turned to face my dad but instead of looking at me his eyes were focused on the tree. This was how he used to coax me to speak about things that bothered me. It was less intense, no judgement was passed and he literally only lent his ear.
I looked back at the tree with him and sighed deeply. "Why would you assume I was not doing fine?" I tested the waters a bit. I also kept my focus away from him, just keeping watch on the long branches swaying softly in the wind. The leaves pulling and rustling with one another.
"Hmmm as odd as it sounds, whenever you have been home I have seen you fiddle more with your fingers. You are stressed and on your toes about something. Also I had an interesting conversation recently with some individuals. That Dante boy, he called a few dozen times worried about you'."
'He called my Dad?' This was news to me. My parents were fully aware of the bachelorette party and so was Dante since I happened to inform him before I left. So why did he call them? "He called wanting to see when you would be home and that his parents came into town. He was not sure if you had mentioned it to us."
I narrowed my eyes at that, immediately annoyed. It felt like someone calling my bluff. It was not like I was a teenager, I am an adult nearing my thirties. He had no reason to call my parents to circumnavigate the situation.
"I wondered if you were alright because maybe I am old school but this kid does not seem to get 'taking things slow'. He seems to find a way to just push things forward. I know you are a tough kid, you deal with your problems on your own terms. But as my daughter I worry. I worry about men in particular pushing you around."
His words touched my heart. I rubbed my hands together suddenly embarrassed and trying to avoid crying. Truthfully having little dating experience, a previous bad relationship, and having to navigate as an older 'late bloomer' was a lot.
I wanted to delude myself in thinking maybe it was ok, that this speed is normal. People around me do this all the time. But as much as I wanted to keep the delusion, the truth was rearing its ugly head at every critical moment.
"Dad if I wanted this to stop would you tell Mama Ines and Papa Benito?" They were the ones who set this up and really wanted to make this work. As much as they have given me a choice I also felt deep down I had none.
Maybe that was the problem from the start.
"If you want me to tell them in your place I am happy to do that for you. If not you know your secrets die with me kiddo." He rubbed my back affectionately. I stared down at my feet. Despite my age I suddenly felt like a child. The world felt too big and too much.
"I am starting to doubt this was a good idea. But I don't know if I want this to stop. I want... I want to have someone romantically be with me but... I am also worried of it ending like it did with Felix."
He was my first 'real' relationship and it destroyed my self confidence in regards to how men and even others view me. As much as I have gotten over the hump I still find myself at the bottom all over again.
Though I say I am not envious of my friends marriage, I am. I am supposed to have everything so why is this one aspect so difficult for me.
"No matter how old you are, or what period in time we are in dating is tough. This pains me to say because the dad in me wants to just deal with this problem for you. But I need to let you grow."
"So all I will give you is advice. And my advice is talk to him. Is he seeing the bigger picture? Can he see things from your perspective? After talking with him and giving him a chance to defend himself then you can be the judge."
As always, his words were sound and his wisdom was insightful.
"Ok then I will let you guys know once I know how things will go moving forward." He hugged me and we walked back inside. 'After the wedding. I will deal with Dante after the wedding.' I had now three days instead of two before the wedding. As much as I wanted to hash this out now I decided that after the wedding would be best.
It would give enough time for me to see what bigger picture I wanted from our relationship but also, I had other things to worry about for now.
For starters, I still had a few wedding things to sort out. The other thing was Deans incident. I needed to check in on everything and make sure there was no issues in the guys getting back, and also check that Dean was not in trouble. Thailand had some strict laws about fighting and even if it was not against another Thai person since it occurred of foreign soil and the ambulance had to be involved I was worried.
I texted Rebecca to see if Alan got back and thankfully he was home. So I called Dean to see if he also arrived, and thankfully he also answered. "Is everything ok?" His voice sounded much more sober than before. "Yes I was just checking in on you to see if you were ok actually. Did the police have to get involved?"
"Thankfully no I had to pull some strings but we were able to head home without getting the police involved. As far as I am told every person is accounted for." He spoke nonchalantly as if this was a common event. "And Greg?"
"As for the other guy he is healing fine and just nursing his hangover. Wedding is still on and going as usual with the same headcount." He sounded irritated at that. I assume he really wanted Greg out of the party.
"Can I come see you tomorrow?" I surprised myself at my own question. But the words tumbled out before I could stop them. "Of course. Need me to pick you up?"
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jklena
jklena sorry for the late post, was having some issues uploading but here it is! please enjoy :)
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