Capítulo 131: Chapter 128
I honestly couldn't recall why we had started arguing in the first place, like before I dropped out, before I went to that party and made the I'll choice to use those drugs. And since then everything had been going the exact opposite of how I wanted it to go. I tried calling him twice that night,and I felt like shit when he didn't pick up. I heard it in his voice,he really was going through a lot. And I was supposed to be with him instead of making things worse. But I wasn't sure whether he'd give me a chance to talk to him, he seemed pretty upset. Chris and I had told Miles about his situation and he had promised to try and help us however he could. Although there wasn't much he could do either, currently we just had to ensure Chris was comfortable wherever he was and that he had everything he needed. And I also blamed myself for having lied to Kyle about him. But he had been so angry, what would he have done if he learnt that Chris was actually.... whatever he was. I didn't personally consider him an ex, we had never officially dated, but I couldn't deny that there had been something. I had never had any feelings for him, none at all, yet I was sure hat if I had told Kyle the truth, he would have been even more upset.
Getting him to talk to me again became my first priority. And before I went to bed, I went in search of Khloe first. my dad still wasn't home, she was in their bedroom reading a book, but she immediately placed it aside and walked over to me. These days she barely left the house, and for some reason she had quit wearing makeup,unlike in the past when she wouldn't be caught dead without it. Perhaps it was the pregnancy, I couldn't be sure. But she still looked great without it.
" Austin, do you need something? "
I kept my hand on the door, then I shook my head. Another fact I couldn't deny was that she was nice. There were no ill intentions from her end, there had never been any.
Was I actually that bad of a person? That I had been hating her for no reason?
" I'm good, I just came to thank you. Kyle told me what you did with the school and all. "
" Oh, that's okay. I was happy to help. us he sounded so stressed out there's no way I could have turned him down. "
That officially made me feel ten times worse. And it also confirmed that I actually was such a bad person. Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Kyle had been the one hurting the most between us.
" I'm not trying to meddle, but were you serious about school? Your dad won't be too happy -"
" Don't bring it up to him, please. "
" I wasn't going to, "
" I've thought it over and I suppose I was too impulsive when making that choice."
She smiled and nodded, seeming proud, and she also told me that she was glad I had thought things through. Then she gave me some news that actually managed to cheer me up a bit.
" Guess what? I finally know the gender of your- I mean, I now know whether it's a boy or girl. "
Okay, the mere fact that she was scared to call the baby my sibling hurt my feelings by making me feel like a terrible human being. She was so on edge around me. I decided to be straightforward and asked her to quit being so nervous.
" So is it a girl or a boy?"
Her entire face lit up,then she put her finger up and asked that I wait before she hurried over to the dressing table, pulled out a drawer and took something out, then she came back and showed me this sonogram, I took it and tried to discern the gender for myself, but I could barely even make out the fact that that was a baby,so I just offered her a clueless look and she chuckled.
" It's a girl!"
" Whoa! For real? "
" Yeah. "
" So I'm gonna have a sister?"
" Mhm. "
I couldn't help but smile at the thought, and because it was something super special, I let go of my pride and offered Khloe a hug. Her reaction proved how shocked she was, but it faded and she hugged me back excitedly.
" My God, I'll get an actual sister. "
And saying that out loud made it sink in, but seconds later I couldn't help but wonder whether I was capable of being someone's elder brother. What example would I set for the kid? I was getting way too many life lessons thrown my way and I wasn't really having fun with them. Too much had happened in that one day and I just needed to go to sleep.
Khloe and I both grew quiet, then after some consideration, she reached for my hand and held it in hers. I could tell it took guts just for her to do so.
" I know you and I didn't start off on the right foot, but I hope you know I'll be here to help you out if you ever need it. Even if you just wanna talk, "
I'd be up for the help...the talk, I wasn't so sure about. But I did appreciate her offer.
" Thanks. "
And the second part took a lot out of me but I managed to say it,
" And I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you. You're actually not too shabby. "
" I think that's the nicest thing you've ever sad to me. "
Laughing, I told her I was gonna go to bed. So I replied her overly enthusiastic goodnight and walked away, she had asked me to keep the sonogram when I tried to give it back. And I thanked her because I knew actions like those came from her heart. It must have not been easy for her to live and bear with me for so long. I commended her patience, and I was happy that to a certain level, we were seeing eye to eye at last. But I didn't feel as joyful as I knew I should. And how could I when the most important person to me refused to even pick up my damn calls?!
The following day, I spotted him at school, he was standing outside one of the classrooms, and from what I could tell, he was quizzing that Max friend of his. I knew from Miles that they had a test, so I decided no to interrupt, I had taken enough of his time already and the least I could do was let him study without my constant interruptions. He saw me however, and was unable to hide his shock. Which meant he had assumed I would never be going back to school again, I gave him a little wave accompanied with a small smile, and he gave me a curt nod to affirm that he'd seen me, but nothing more.
I just wanted to get some time alone with him. Chris had requested I pass by the motel after school and I had told him I would. I had no clue what the problem could be this time around, but I wasn't able to say no knowing I was the only one he could rely on. Yesterday I had taken him back to his room and left immediately after, being to occupied with my thoughts to even feign interest in anything he had to say. But that meant I had to make sure I got the chance to speak with Kyle before school ended. I wasn't going to sleep well that night if I knew we still had so much unresolved problems between us.
During the second literature lesson, I sat at the back,as usual. The fact that I was going back to school didn't mean I was going to cha he and start liking books, that was never gonna happen. But during that lesson, another teacher had knocked and called for Kyle, asking him to step out for a moment. The moment turned out to be an entire half hour. I got so curious and worried that I considered excusing myself as well, but he came back just as the lesson was about to end. Like he literally sat down and three minutes later the bell rang.
I had noted the change in his mood as he walked in, and s the first thing I did was walk over to his desk. He has still been seated there, not bothering to move. As if he had known I'd approach him and wasn't trying to make things harder. I stood behind him first, thinking of what I ought to say first because I was clearly not good with words. Everyone else walked out, it was just us two.
" It was my mum, she came to say bye before leaving. "
I took that as my cue to move closer, standing beside his desk and looking down at him. But he was so freaking pretty! I was never going to look at him and not think that.
" Did she tell you when she's coming back?"
He slowly started to place his things in his backpack, pouring all his concentration on the action. I followed each movement with pure focus because I just loved how he did things.
" Next month, said she'll come to visit once she's settled down. "
" Are you still glad she's leaving? "
" I'm not glad, I just don't really care what she does. "
My mind instantly warned me to shut the hell up concerning that topic. It had been one of the subjects we had fought over and I wasn't willing to risk it again. He stood, then he crossed his arms and stared at me as if he were trying to comprehend something.
" You decided to come back. "
" I did. "
" Good, it's the right thing to do. "
Every part of me was dying to touch him. I had to tuck my hands into pockets because all I felt like doing was reaching out and stroking his skin. But I knew that before I did that, I had to do something else first...
" I'm sorry, "
His eyes slightly widened, then he narrowed them and looked away.
" I know you were just trying to help, I shouldn't have been such a dick about everything. "
" You were. "
" And I apologize. You're not talking to me and I hate it, I really miss you Kyle. "
More than anything, a few more days of us being in that same state and I don't know what would have become of me.
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