Capítulo 80: Chapter 77
KYLE'S POV
Sometimes I forgot that Austin was just as human as I was. That he could feel things in the same way I did. Maybe it's because he always handles things so expertly when it came to me. I still wasn't too thrilled about him drinking, but he had assured me that he was going to try his best to 'reduce his intake'.. because stopping completely was out of the question. His brutal honesty about such things only made me adore him even more. And earlier today when I had realized he was ignoring me, I felt genuine fear. I wasn't even sure how to describe it but I hated that feeling and had no desire of ever going through that again. And it must have dawned on me that he was just as capable of shutting me out as I had initially done. I couldn't let that happen. If it ever did I'd feel like someone had handed me a lovely flower... something like a carnation which I personally considered my favorite. But just as I had been about to find a lovely vase and dip it into the water, it was snatched away and I was left feeling distraught. Wishing it had never been handed to me in the first place because the loss I felt afterwards was almost toxic.
That's how important Austin was to me.
So yes, I had eaten with him despite the numerous people around, I had kissed his cheek and I had let him laugh into my neck and hold my hand afterwards because why the hell not. There was a unique and lovely coated safety whenever I was around Austin. He made me feel as if nothing could hurt me, like I was protected from anything and everything. As a child I had always believed it was because of that hostile aspect of him.
Physically speaking, not a lot of people had ever been a match for him. He had never cared about getting hurt as long as his rival got hurt as well. And by his rival I meant mine because more than half the time he was fighting my battles for me. He had dropped me off at work, but he said he'd be back later on to take me home. I didn't object. I could have but I didn't...
It was just never enough.
Sometimes it was almost frustrating. It's the same way a child would cry for something without being able to specifically say what, and the parents would just hand him everything they'd assume he wanted. But nothing ever managed to calm the child down. That's how I felt when it came to Austin. I wanted him, I needed him in every light and every sense of the word. And I knew that I had him, but there was still that feeling, that thing inside me that told me I was lacking something. That I had him but I still didn't have the entirety of him. I wasn't sure what that thing was but I hated it with a passion that was almost as profound as my love for him. Chelsea was out of town, but apparently Dave, her boyfriend, had volunteered to take her place for the day, he had however not been able to stay till I got out of school, so he had closed early and left the keys over at Trenny's, and he had also left me a text. He said he had gotten my number from Chelsea, and that he was sorry but something urgent had come up and he had to leave early. I grabbed the keys along with something to eat before heading over to the store and opening up. And less than twenty minutes later, I got a call from Austin. I frowned since we'd literally just been together, and since I was trying to balance between eating, watching the store and studying, I put his call on speaker and went ahead with my other tasks.
" Go out with me this Saturday, " he said immediately after I picked up, I put down my pen and leaned closer to the phone, wanting to hear his voice even more clearly.
" It's Monday, that's like a whole week away. "
" I have to make sure you don't end up going to more concerts without me. "
" I thought we already agreed to let that be. "
" We will, as soon as you burn that jacket.."
" Austin!"
" Fine then! You can donate it to charity or whatever, just make sure you get rid of it."
I shook my head and took another bite of my burger, silently enjoying his little streak of jealousy. He asked me to clear out my schedule for Saturday, and when I asked him where we'd be going he refused to tell me. Said it was gonna be a surprise. Surprises coming from him were always a little much, but I still assured him that I'd go out with him because there was nothing else I'd rather do. I asked him where he currently was, I could hear people talking in the background and I was genuinely curious.
" Just hanging out with Miles, "
" Again?"
It came out so fast I wasn't able to stop it. In truth, it wasn't really about the word as much as it was about the tone that had accompanied it. Like I was half angry, half shocked. But I had a reason to be, he was spending quite a lot of time with Miles. I knew they were just friends, but I couldn't help the envy that overtook me. And because it was Austin, I waited to hear him as he made some teasing joke about how jealous I was, but I never heard anything from him. And when he finally did talk it was to simply say..." It's only ever been you, always,"
It's like he always knew just the right words to say to make me feel better. Whatever negative feelings had been starting to breed within me immediately disappeared. I was actually glad that he was close to Miles because otherwise he would have most likely just kept to himself and had a lot more time to think of all the wrong things he was going to do. The door was unlocked and a customer walked in.
" Bye, I gotta go, " I quickly told him, he had been about to say something but I cut the call before he managed to do so. I then sent him a quick text telling him I loved him before putting my phone away.
I looked at the customer, he was facing away from me, looking up at a rack of albums which had been in there for so long I had already lost all hopes of ever getting them sold.
" If you need any help let me know, " I told him. He was wearing this oversized racer jacket and a blue hoody inside it, a baseball cap on his head. He turned around, and he hadn't even faced me entirely when I realized. I immediately got off my seat and took a step back. My eyes widening because I believed u was actually seeing things... again.
" You wouldn't happen to have a copy of Madeleine Right's ' Iced Heart album, would you?" He asked. His lips tilted in the barest of smiles. He took off his baseball cap and that smile grew, perhaps because of the reaction I was portraying. But how was I supposed to act, Reign was literally in there. I didn't exactly understand what was going on, just that there was no way it was a coincidence...that's not how the world worked. And there was no way I was going to believe that he had just happened to show up there because he had truly been searching for an album.
I wanted to call out his name in puzzlement, but even that was hard for me to do. It's not like we were friends or anything, and him simply standing at the place where I worked was surreal enough. He might as well have popped up at my house and made himself right at home. I watched as those blue eyes of his came nearer until he was literally leaning against the counter, he had tied his hair in a low ponytail, making him look different, yet still the very same.
" Evening Stevens, " he casually greeted. Then he rested both his arms on the counter and leaned in, I in turn leaned further back. He was one of my favorite artists. A celebrity so to speak, and he was standing there talking to me face to face. But I didn't feel even half of the excitement I knew I ought to feel because all I was experiencing was dread and this weariness that wouldn't go away. There must have been a reason for his visit and until I found out what it was I was going to be as cautious as I could be.
" What're you doing here?" I finally asked. My mind making me look around to confirm where I was even though I knew very clearly. He looked around as well, then he stood up straight and tucked both hands into his jacket, his eyes fixed on me and an unreadable expression masking his features.
" I'm here to see you, "
I had expected him to come up with some crappy lie, but that didn't sound like a lie at all. And there was no way to think or comprehend that situation without me thinking about Austin. It felt wrong.
" Why?"
" Nothing major, I just felt like it. "
" How'd you know I work here?"
" I have my ways. "
Okay, I was officially a bit creeped out. He was one of those individuals that would be described as 'gorgeous males' . But his presence simply intimidated me, I was only sixteen and he had to be at least five or six years older.
" You seem a bit terrified, don't tell me I scare you. " There was humor in his tone when he asked me that, but I wasn't really joking. My expression wasn't lying either.
" I think we have a few copies of that album at the back, let me go check. "
I started to walk away but he asked m e not to bother. That he wasn't actually interested in buying anything. Which I suppose confirmed that he was literally there to see me.
" Breathe, I promise I didn't get here in a van with duct tape and a blindfold at the back. "
I swallowed hard, then I got closer to the counter and decided to put all my fear and nervousness aside. My heart was beating like crazy and I still hadn't completely processed what was happening.
" Why'd you wanna see me?"
He made this thoughtful sound from the back of his throat, then he shrugged and confessed to not having an actual response to that. I was not very pleased to hear that.
" Can we talk? "
" About what? I don't even know you, I mean, I do but not like that."
" Your first name's Kyle, isn't it?" I narrowed my gaze at him. I was living Kira's dream but all I wanted to do was wake up.
" What's this about?"
I just needed him to make things as clear as possible. There was no way I was going to believe that he had just woken up and decided to follow me all the way there. He licked his lips, then he sighed and turned to the door.
" I feel like I can trust you. Can I?"
That sounded more like something a serial killer would ask before he disclosed his secrets to someone. And I really didn't wanna be that someone, but then I was curious at heart and I really wanted to know what he was talking about. I slowly nodded.
He did genuinely seem like he was desperate to share whatever was bothering him. But I just didn't understand why out of all those people he had chosen me specifically. Even if we had had that little interaction before the perform had began, it still didn't feel like a good enough reason for him to want to disclose anything to me.
" You're still in school right? What time do you get off? I'll come by here then. "
" Can't you just tell me now?"
He shook his head and said it was better if he told me the following day. But that wasn't something I was entirely comfortable with.I was with Austin most of the times, but I also knew that I was going to just end up hearing what Reign had to say. The way he was saying it gave off the impression that it was something pretty serious.
" Seven thirty then, I'll be here. "
The time seemed perfect to me. I wouldn't have to worry about Austin because I'd have enough time to get him to leave. Reign said the time was perfect, then he stretched out his hand and thanked me for whatever reason, I stared at it for a couple of seconds before shaking it. And afterwards, he simply thanked me before wishing me a goodnight and walking out. Just like that. I felt as if I was having an out of body experience, especially after he left. I wondered whether that had actually occured. Things had been weird enough at school, with almost everyone commenting on the concert. I blamed it on Kira for having sent it to almost all her friends. But I had assumed it has all been for fun, the jacket that is. In my mind, he'd only wanted to mess around with me and that's why he had done that. I tried to think of what someone such as himself could possibly wanna talk to me about and I came out short of answers. I just hoped it wasn't what I was thinking. That he wasn't at all interested in me because that would just make things weird. It was impossible for me to focus on anything else that night. Austin finally came by some minutes before I closed up. It took me a lot of extra effort to play it cool, knowing that he could always be able to read me well. And because I didn't actually want him to have a clear view of my face, I had hugged him when he had arrived and complained about how exhausted I was.
That felt right. Being with him was just right! I gave him a kiss, and then he helped me lock up before leading me to his bike. He dropped me off, walked me to my door and didn't leave until I went inside.
I found my mom once again asleep on the couch, so I covered her up and went to my room. Still trying to wrap my head around everything. I turned in my sheets, realizing that having Austin there with me would have definitely helped me to sleep better. But all I needed was to hear Reign out, and then after that I could probably breathe again.
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