Capítulo 75: Chapter 72
" Why are you so unpredictable though?" I asked, one arm still wrapped around him from behind, and the other hand I used to comb my fingers through his currently tangled up hair.
I thought I heard my phone ring from my bedroom but I ignored it and blamed it on my imagination.
" I'm not that unpredictable, "
" You are. And I can get used to every other part of you except that one. "
Whenever I was with Austin, the first thing that I always asked myself was what he was going to do next. There was no way of knowing..and it had been like that since we had been kids, it didn't start when he suddenly made me the center of attention by literally asking the teacher to advise me on being gay. But what had hurt most about that was his refusal to apologize afterwards. I had been angry and I felt betrayed by him but he was the one person I had who felt actually belonged to me, so despite what he had done I had been willing to forgive him if he apologized and explained why he did it. But then he had refused to do so, and the outcome of his actions had made me gain massive popularity in the school, something I never wanted. Things had been bad enough before he had done that. But because of him, I got picked on two times as much as before, and he was never there to help because we currently weren't on speaking terms. It got so bad that I started to intentionally miss classes, then my mom told me we were going to move and I couldn't have been happier. The rage I had harboured for him was still within me at the time, and I carried it along.
" I still don't understand though, what made you do that? It makes absolutely no sense still. "
" I was young, "
" That's not a good enough excuse and you know it. "
He hadn't been that young, perhaps if we had been five it would have made more sense. But he was mature enough to understand that asking such a thing was going to put me on the spot. He had basically altered my entire life and he hadn't seemed as bothered by it as he ought to have been.
" I was going through a lot at the time I guess.."
I didn't want him to think I was still secretly angry about that so I tightened my hold on him. He leaned further back against me, resting his head on my shoulder and using the angle to look up at him. Just one glance and I could tell how sorry he was.
I asked him what exactly he had been going through, and when he told me I didn't know what to say. Apparently he had just learnt that his mom was sick, as well as a couple of other things. One of them being me.
" Okay, it's long passed now, although I still think you could have approached it a lot differently. "
" I know, I'm sorry. "
" Can we just agree to let it go and never talk about it again?" He nodded, then he smiled and reached up to touch my hair, I expected him to just run his fingers through it but he gripped it instead.
" You make me happy, you know that?"
Instead of replying, I pressed my forehead to his, then I took in a deep breath. Inhaling him into my lungs and trying to figure out how I could love and care for someone so damn much. He truly was my weakness. All it would take to hurt me deeply was seeing him in any sort of pain. Even looking at self-induced injury on his hand was a little too much.
" Eat your food, " I gently instructed, letting go of him so that he'd be capable of doing just that. He passed me my coffee, then he placed the toast next to us on the couch so that it would be easier for me to reach it without having to break our contact. And I realized just how much I wanted that to be a permanent part of my life. I wanted him to be by me for as long as humanly possible.
" So you've agreed? You'll be my boyfriend for this week?"
" Just drop it. "
" Is that a yes?"
" I'm not ready for such tasking commitments, you're too much for me to handle. "
" I'll take that as a yes. You prefer Stevens or babe?"
I gave up. Once he got something in his head it was impossible to change it. But despite how light the issue seemed, it was actually a pretty big deal to me. If I accepted his proposal, something told me I wouldn't feel as secure about us as I currently did. We were better off just going with the flow and not putting any label on what we had. I just didn't wanna make anything official. That would mean having to explain myself to others. And I wouldn't be able to defend my claims because they'd have literal proof. It didn't seem like a huge deal, but it was to me. Although I preferred to hold up on thinking about all that, it was better to just focus on the moment. Everything else would work itself out.
⭐❄️⭐❄️⭐
" She said to wait here, " I told Kira and Max before walking over to a sign post and leaning against it. We were a few blocks away from the record store. I could see the company where Jenna's dad worked from where I was.
" This is so cool! God, I'm nervous and I don't even know why!" Kira excitedly said. I carefully looked her up and down, my eyes narrowed as I tried to figure out whether I could recognize anything she had on, but I couldn't. So she had basically just bought an entire outfit just for the concert, but I had already complemented her that she looked good. And for the first time she seemed to appreciate it rather than hit me because she thought I was making fun of her.
" Did you buy the snacks?" She asked Max. He took off his backpack and unzipped it before showing her whatever was inside, and after she nodded and smiled in approval, he zipped it up again.
" I'm sure the snacks there are hella expensive, " she explained to me afterwards, " I figured it would be better to carry our own. "
" Wise, " I said. Then I looked away from them and disappeared into my thoughts. Austin had wanted to spend the entire day with me, but I had to tell him I couldn't because I had promised Kira I'd go to the concert with them. They were still scared that Jenna would take back her offer if I changed my mind about going. And I didn't want to sound like a bad friend, but I really wished I was with Austin. I mean, I liked hanging out with them. A lot. But with Austin it was different, each time we were apart I naturally started thinking of the next time I'd get to see him. True, he was a hit too much at times and he made me agitated and crazy half the time, but I still wanted him more.
" Hey, " I heard Max's voice say, and when I turned it was to find him standing right next to me, a black hoodie covering his face almost completely, making it hard to see his features in the dim light. I gave him a curt nod, then I tried to search for something to say but I couldn't think of anything.
" What's up with you? You seem lost, " he stated afterwards. I stood up straight and narrowed my gaze in confusion, acting like I had no clue what he was referring to even though I did. Austin was on my mind too much lately and it was impossible to do anything about it. I had just spent hours with him yet I was itching to see him again already.
" You sure you're okay?"
" Of course I am, just tired I guess. "
" Let me guess, you spent the entire day studying again. "
I shrugged, knowing he'd assume he was right, which he did. Then he told me I had to take a break from all that. That I was smart enough as it was and I didn't have to worry about failing because it was impossible for me to do so. And even though I had lied, I appreciated the compliment. Jenna finally got there, she was in a car along with two other people. Her cousin and the cousin's boyfriend. She got out of the car and hugged each one of us, then she opened up the front door and asked Max to get in. The car itself was fancy, and big enough for all of us to comfortably fit.
" Come on, " she said before holding my hand and getting in, then she went all the way to the backseat and sat by the window. I had no choice but to sit next to her seeing as she was pulling me along. Max sat next to me, and I caught him as he peered at the front where Kira was.
" Oh, this is my cousin Monica and her boyfriend Jordan. Guys,these are my friends from school, Kira, Max and this one's Kyle, " she sweetly introduced us. Her cousin and Jordan were seated in front of us. And for a cousin, they sure did look awfully similar, if I didn't know better I'd have mistaken them for siblings. We exchanged pleasantries, and I tried to just act casual and natural even though meeting new people wasn't something I preferred.
Jordan was especially nice, and he had a cool and fun personality which was great since he was the one making most of the conversation. The two of them were in college, and he was also a star basketball player. It was odd since I had assumed as much before he told us, but he definitely had the height.
" Oh, is he the one that picked out the album?" Monica asked and Jenna confirmed it.
" I loved it! Thanks for recommending it. "
" You're welcome, glad you liked it. "
After a while, Monica started talking to Kira while Jordan and Max suddenly it off. The power of video games I suppose, they were both dedicated players so they had something to talk about as they discovered other similarities. And that left Jenna and I. I was trying to figure out the most polite way to remove my hand from hers without making her feel bad. And I was also pretty confused. We had had that conversation where I had made things clear on how I felt about her. and she had assured me she understood...so why was she acting like that?
She was asking me questions about school when I got a text. I used it as an excuse to free my hand, and when I retrieved my phone and checked the text, I had to force myself to act natural.
" I don't think it's nice for me to let you sleep alone while I'm around. Want me to come over later on?"
I slightly shook my head. I didn't know whether he was joking or being serious, but I knew that if I ever asked him to do such a thing he'd do so without hesitation.
" Don't be shy Stevens. This is perfectly normal for couples. "
I angled the phone away from Jenna just in case she got too curious. Then I replied to Austin and told him I wasn't around. I had already told him I had to go somewhere urgent, and even though he had tried to make me tell him where, I had refused to do so.
" We'll literally see each other at school tomorrow. I'm sure you'll manage. "
" But I wanna see you now!"
" Too demanding. "
" Please?"
" I told you, I'm not home. "
" Where are you then? It's late. "
I told him I was hanging out with Max and Kira, that was enough information for him. He nagged me for a while longer before giving up and letting me be. And I was glad that I wasn't the only one missing him. I had tried to act as if I wasn't that affected but not having him near me was just sucking the fun out if everything. I wasn't sure what music he was into, but something told me he'd like Blue Print. And that thought made me wonder how it would have felt like to attend the concert with him. I was sure it would have been something I'd have never forgotten. I tucked my phone away, then I locked my fingers together on my lap and turned to Jenna again. She was looking straight ahead, her eyes unblinking. Then without me having to call her, she turned to me and smiled a small smile.
It seemed forced.
Max and Jordan were talking about football or something. I wasn't really a huge sports fan so I stayed quiet and listened. I had expected Jenna to initiate conversation again, but I was glad when she didn't. We got to the Metal Magenta after about fourty minutes. The driver parked at the front of the building and then went ahead to park after we got off. Or maybe he left, I couldn't be sure.
There were a lot of people around. And the outside was filled with countless blue glow sticks just waiting to be used during the concert. I wasn't even aware how large the fandom was and it felt great to realize that so many people liked the band.
Kira naturally went to Max and hooked her arm in his, then she teased him about wearing cologne because that's how their friendship worked. I noted that to anyone who didn't know us, we would seem like three couples. Something that refused to sit well with me, but Jenna had wrapped her arm around me and there was nothing I could do.
" We still have a while before the concert starts, are you guys hungry?" Jordan asked. He wanted to treat us all to something. Of course Kira and Max accepted, there was no way those two would turn down free food. But I wanted to make a phonecall so I figured that would be a good chance to do so.
" I'm actually not that hungry, but you guys go ahead. "
" No, come with us. Where would you go all by yourself, it's better to stick together. " Monica advised.
" Yeah, this place is crazy large. You might get lost or something. I'm also not hungry, but we can find something to do while they eat," Jenna added. I inwardly cursed, but I ended up following them in. The concert itself was to be held on the fifth floor. It felt awesome being there, knowing that a lot of other famous artists had also performed there. After Monica and Kira took a few pictures for bragging purposes, we headed in. But I was determined to make that phonecall before the concert began. I just needed o hear his voice one last time that day.
Status de energia semanal
-- Ranking de
Poder 
-- Pedra de
Poder