Capítulo 65: Chapter 63
KYLE'S POV
At around ten, Kira called. She was with Max and they wanted to ask me what I had decided. Actually, they had already made the choice for me and were only calling so that I would feel as if I had a say in the matter. And Kira was very skilled when it came to making you do what she wanted. But I had been thinking it over for some time and I figured there would be no harm in going. They were right in saying that I'd regret it if I let the opportunity slip by. It's not like I was ever going to get such a chance. I had way too many expenses to worry about so things such as concert tickets were out of the question. I told them we'd go. I was sure we'd have fun and it would be a memorable experience. I just wished the entire thing wasn't as tied to Jenna as it was.
Speaking of Jenna....
She came by at around noon. It felt so odd to see her in there, mostly because it had been my wish for her to never find out where I worked. I wasn't sure how she was outside of school. Apart from that one awkward date, she and I had never really hang out. But I guess the date had only been awkward for me. She had laughed and we had talked about a number of things,but I had felt so out of place and uncomfortable that I had ended up making up an excuse to leave. She wasn't the problem. Not entirely at least. But I just couldn't bring myself to think of her like that, both her and any other girl.
When she walked in and realized I was there, she smiled brightly, and she also looked really nice in her cute pink skirt and top in a much lighter shade. The outfit was uniquely her.
But I always stopped myself from complementing her. I knew enough about girls to know that they liked jumping into conclusions and making things up out of nothing because they wanted it to be true. She would probably think it was flirting so it was best to let it be.
" Hi Kyle, "
" Hey Jenna. "
" I used to think the store where you worked was really far, like out of town or something. Turns out it's just a few minutes away from my dad's workplace. "
" Really?"
" Yeah, he works over at the law firm near the fountain. "
I knew that. But I pretended not to. Truth was that I had even seen her walk right by the store a couple of times, and I always made it my goal to stay out of sight. Her dad owned that Law firm if I recalled correctly, and I had known that if she found out where I worked, she'd probably have an excuse to pass by more than I desired.
" That's really weird, do you go by there a lot?"
" Every week, multiple times actually. I help out. "
" Nice. "
I gestured to the racks, then I asked her to go ahead and have a look around. And to call me if she needed any sort of help.
" Actually, could you just help me look around, I don't know her taste so I need an experts opinion. "
" Oh, I'm really not an expert. "
I hardly knew any of the songs on those shelves. I had just been lucky enough to see a "Help wanted " poster outside the door one day and decided to try my luck. They had just put it up and I was the first one to ask about it so I automatically got the position. I loved music, but me working there had nothing to do with that love, it was purely because I needed the money.
" Still, I'm positive you know more than me so.." she beckoned for me to go over to her side of the counter, turning around afterwards and scanning the room keenly. I told myself that helping her would just make her leave all the more faster, which was what I wanted, so I went over to the opposite side and walked past her and straight to the racks. Even though I didn't know most of the music, there were a few pieces I had indeed listened to out of curiosity and ended up loving.
I settled on my top two and went ahead to retrieve them.
" Sure you don't know her taste? Like, nothing at all?"
She could have asked then. Why get someone a music related gift when you didn't even know their favorite type of music. It didn't make sense to me but at the moment she was just a customer which meant I had to treat her like one, even if she wouldn't appreciate it.
I wasn't trying to start anything that I'd regret later, because Jenna was only waiting for that one word or action before she gained the courage to do something even more questionable.
I took the album from the shelf, blew away a bit of dust, then I observed it for a second.
" This one's pretty cool, " I said as I turned around, then I shuddered because I hadn't been expecting her to be so close, she was standing a few inches away from me. Looking up at me with the same look she gave me each day. Like admiration, just more.
" Let's see, " she said as she took it from me, then she looked around and asked me whether there was a chance for her to play it so that she could make up her mind. I saw what she was doing,what her intentions were and how she was trying to downplay it all. I told her that there did use to be a music player but it had stopped functioning.
" That sucks, "
" Yeah, my boss was supposed to get a new one before next month. "
That wasn't a lie. She nodded, then she shrugged and reached into her purse and took out her phone.
" I'll just look it up, " she said afterwards, reading the name on the album one last time before walking back to the counter and leaning against it.
" Anyways, did you think about the concert tomorrow?"
" I did. "
" And?"
" I'll go. "
" Wow! Really?!"
I assured her, choosing to just walk around the store, checking out everything even though I knew them all by heart since I was in there almost every day, Sunday being the only exception. It was a good thing she had actually put some distance between us because I felt more relieved that way.
She found the song she had looked up and increased the volume on her phone for both of us to listen. I knew it well.
I liked slow songs, especially when they carried with them deep lyrics that had you second guessing almost everything you ever believed in. I glanced over at Jenna and she was slowly moving her head up and down, a satisfied look on her face which assured me that she liked it. If her cousin knew good music, then she'd be sure to like that song despite her preferred genre. Personally, I just liked any song I heard which moved me, it didn't matter which genre it was from, if I liked it then it automatically became a favourite.
" This is gold!" Jenna said afterwards, and I was glad to note that she wasn't just pretending to like it for my sake.
" Isn't it?"
" That's it! Case closed, I'm taking this one. "
" Smart choice. "
I finally walked back to the counter because I had to both wrap it up and charge her.
" Hey Kyle, " she called out my name as I was wrapping up the gift.
" Yeah? What's up?"
" I know this is unexpected, but would you like to grab some coffee when you're free?"
Either she was really blind or she didn't know the meaning of the word unexpected because I totally expected that. I thought of the best possible way to crush her hopes without really hurting her. I couldn't go out with her, I couldn't give her hope when in truth, I belonged to someone else.
⭐❄️⭐❄️⭐
Jenna had finally left, she was mature enough to accept rejection, but I had seen in her expression that she wasn't quite ready to give up.Though that was a problem for another day. I kept looking at the time.
I had asked him out. I had actually done it.
And it wasn't some friendly meeting where we would casually talk and catch up, that's not what I wanted it to be.
It was a date. And I had been the one to suggest it. I still wondered where that strength had come from, and I was waiting for the discomfort to settle in but it never did. In its place was eagerness and anticipation, Austin always have me a reason to look forward to the future. Knowing I'd get to see him in a couple of hours made me both anxious and excited.
I couldn't even pretend to be studying so I hadn't bothered taking my books out of my backpack. I blew out a breath, my hand going up to my lips before I brought it back down. My cheeks felt heated, I smiled to myself and buried my head in my hands. I didn't mean to sound too cliche, but that had been one of the most memorable experiences of my life. It was uncountable the number of times I thought about kissing him. Feeling his lips against mine... getting to pull him closer and gripping onto him as tightly as I could. But I had managed to convince myself that such a thing would never happen so I better enjoy my imagination.
I had been wrong, and how glad was I about that?
There was none of the strangeness I had expected to experience. It was odd, but kissing him felt like the most natural thing, as if we had done it a thousand times before. And now I didn't think I would he able to be close to him without needing that wonderfully blissful connection. My mind didn't care where we'd be or who would be around, it needed the taste of him because that simple aspect of him made me come alive. And in that moment it became clear to me that there was no point in pretending I didn't want him when we both knew the truth.
When I knew with certainty that he wanted me too, that he had always wanted me.
And for the first time, I was actually wondering what to wear and how I'd look in it. If it was necessary for me to dress up or if I was fine just as I was. I didn't wat it to seem as if I was trying too hard, but then I wanted to make some sort of effort.
I looked down at myself, tugging at my long sleeved t-shirt to inspect it and not really liking it that much.
I'd have two hours after I closed up and I was considering using them to head home and change. Plus I needed to check on my mom and make sure she was doing fine and wouldn't miss work. I remembered Austin's expression when I had asked him out, the shock and disbelief that he had been unable to hide because in his head, the cat and mouse game was never going to end. He believed I was going to make him chase after me forever and I didn't like that one bit.
My mind wasn't yet completely made up in terms of where I stood when it came to such things. But I figured there was no reason to stress over it. I had been going with the flow for so long there was nothing wrong with letting it continue that way.
He had told me he'd be busy, but I somehow still kept looking at my phone hoping to see a text from him. Then I had realized that even though there wasn't anything necessarily wrong with what I was doing, it was a bit selfish and one sided. It's exactly what I had been talking about when I said I always expected him to make the effort. To call and text first because it spared me from having to do so.
Picking up my phone, I had let out a deep breath before sending him a text. Quickly typing the first earnest thing that came to mind because I didn't want to start wondering what to text only to end up clueless weirded out.
" Miss you, take care. "
Sending it was a bit harder, I put myself in his position as I tried to imagine how I'd have reacted had he sent me something like that. But I knew it was neither too much nor too basic. It was simply the truth and I wanted him to be aware of it. He didn't reply immediately so I guessed he really was busy.
I had already planned what I'd wear before I even got to the house. It would make things much easier for me since all I'd have to do was change and leave. I was only going to stay if my mom wasn't around, which I was sure she was. And my suspicions were confirmed when I got home and found her seated on the couch with her legs crossed, staring at the empty space Infront of her with a lost look in her eyes.
She was always like that whenever I left her alone for too long, I suspected it was because she actually felt the true depth of her loneliness during that time. Or maybe the silence of the house was so loud it forced her to think, to reason out and realize that she was a complete wreck and had done so many things wrong. She was my mom but I wasn't going to defend her, the fact remained that she was a shitty parent and an even worse role model.
I had bought a few things on my way there so I headed to the kitchen first and made her something to eat. Then I casually brought up her job Incase she had forgotten because it was an actual possibility. After that, I went to my room to get changed.
My phone buzzed as I was searching for the blue shirt I had barely ever worn because I didn't want it to get ruined and fade.
" Miss you more. Looking forward to tonight. "
The flirty texts, the stares, the handholding, the kisses.....I realized that we were pretty much a couple at that point. But for the very first time, the thought of that didn't freak me out. And because I wasn't sure how long that attitude was going to last, I decided to make the most out of it while I could. There was still so much that I desired, and only with him.
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